All Comments on 'Zack is No Longer Just a Friend'

Just WTF?

Uhrmz, Lady, your dog needs a leash.

But you scored none the less. Your male character is a slut, which always works for me.

Yep I agree... WTF... GOD Bless young, stupid, people

Zack is just a F&@*#ing dawg.

Is it reluctance or Noncon? Frigging decide. Sorry, but that was literally the least sexy thing I've read in a long time and good Noncon is going to be somewhat realistic, this... is not.

Big guy, thrusting himself into her, hitting the cervix, you know that feels like a knife to the gut even with hastily applied lube right?

Her wanting to stay also makes no sense, even if she had liked him before that would not be the case after he brutalized her.

Hi everyone, thank for the feedback. I do want to make a note though that this was my second version. My first draft of this story that I submitted was rejected because it was complete nonconsent on the part of Beth for the entire story. That goes against literotica's policies, so I revised it to try to give her more pleasure in the story. I agree, probably not my best work, but I tried to keep as much of my original vision alive in this draft as much as possible. In the future, I'll try to make things more clear. Any and all constructive criticism on my stories are always welcome!

Seriously, he totally killed anything that was sexy about it. Total scum and lame.