A Life Gone By

I found a couple of beers in the fridge and was sipping on one when Lucy came out of Danni's room. I handed her the other one and we talked. I have only known this woman for three weeks and here she was letting me lean on her with my tales of woe. She listened to me like a trooper. When I finished talking, she slid over and kissed me full on the lips. I don't know if she felt it, but I felt something like static electricity as our lips grew close enough. Just before our lips met, that is when I felt it zap me. She felt it too because when we finished she just said

"Wow, where did that come from?"

Lucy decided that since I had told her about my life it was her turn to tell me about hers. I was not sure I wanted to hear it but I knew I needed to hear it. She was kind enough to hear me out so I felt obligated to hear her out. I am glad I did. Her life was not a bed of roses either.

As she began her story, I got up and got us another beer.

Then she began. "Jim, I need to tell you this so you'll know the whole story of Danny and me. We were sweethearts in school. It was our senior prom that we finally had sex. We were both virgins. We thought we would be together forever. Work was hard for him to find so when the summer came to an end we found out I was pregnant with Danni. He joined the Marine Corp so we could have the medical care we would need. Just before he left, we got married. Two weeks later he was in boot camp. Three months passed and we finally got to be together again. He told me he had another six weeks of training because he was going to TOW missile school. (If you do not know what a TOW missile is, it stands for Tubular launched, Optically sighted, Wire guided. The TOW has the nickname of "Tank Killer".) We drove to California. We were starting a new life together and we were madly in love with each other. I stayed there in the housing supplied by the government while he went to school and would come home every night. We felt like a real family. I was now over five months pregnant. He was deployed on his first deployment. We wrote to each other daily. I looked forward to getting his letters. When he finally got home, Danni had been born. He doted on her. We could see the love for our baby in each other's eyes. Of course our love never dwindled. He was home for nine months when he received his orders for his next deployment. He was killed three months later by a roadside bomb. It crushed me. I could stay in the housing we were in for another five months before I was going to be forced to leave. I had nowhere to go but home. He is buried here in our home town. We didn't have much in the way of personal belongings so when I came home for the funeral I brought it all with me. I never returned to Camp Pendleton. I had no reason to go there."

She continued "For months I moped around until my brother-in-law and his wife decided I needed to get on with life. I dated a couple of times but I couldn't bring myself to want anything more than one or maybe two dates with anyone. I knew it was going to be hard, I just didn't know how hard it was going to be. I never got intimate with any of them either. Danni was four years old and my whole life was dedicated to raising Danni. I thought I would be alone with my daughter for a very long time. Then I met you."

I felt somewhat sad for her and what she was saying. I knew I had some feelings for her but now I not only felt empathy for her situation but I felt compelled to do something about it. I just didn't know what I wanted or needed to do."

She continues "Jim, I think I like you a lot. This is the first time since Danny's death I have felt anything for anyone. I don't know where you and I are headed, but I like what we have now. Danni likes you which is saying something. She never liked anyone I dated before. Maybe it's because you are the first one to actually pay her any attention from the day you two met. I like you because I think you are a considerate person. After hearing what you went through I felt compelled to tell you about my history. Yours seems to be a little more involved but at least you seem to be handling it well. I will tell you right now, Danni comes first in my life. I would like to continue seeing you and see where this may lead. I want to go slow but I want to go slow with you. Do you understand what I am trying to say?"

"Yes Lucy I fully understand. I think I know that I want to continue seeing you too. Going slow will be fine with me. Of course you know my ex-wife and friends are living in this town now. I also found out that Tammy gave birth to a little boy. He is about six now. I also found out he is my son. At least that is what I've been told. I have no reason to doubt it, but he doesn't know I am his father. He thinks Bill is. Karen, my ex-wife had a little girl and it is Bill's. Sort of a messed up situation in my opinion but I didn't have a say so in the past. I don't know where you and I are headed, but I want to find out. I am fond of Danni and of course getting real fond of you. So let's just take it one day at a time and see what happens."

As I leaned in to kiss her that electric shock hit just before our lips met. I did not know if it was static electricity in the air or if there was some type of electricity between her and I. I wanted to find out. We made plans to go out again next Friday night.

The week started out like any week while working in a police department. There were always follow-ups to be made and traffic infractions to be cited. It was a typical Monday for us. My partner, Fred, decided he wanted to talk about Lucy and Danni. He said he felt he needed to explain a couple of things to me. So he started the conversation.

"Jim, as you know I am fond of Lucy. She was married to my wife's brother until he died over seas. You probably already know he was killed by a roadside bomb. What you don't know is why he put himself in harms' way. He had developed some kind of disease after he got there and there is no cure for it. He was dying slowly. Had he made it home he would only have lived about another year maybe a little longer. He wrote me a letter telling me not to tell Lucy or even the rest of the family. He decided he would prefer to die his way instead of a slow death. He loved Lucy and Danni too much to let them see him die slowly like that."

"Damn Fred, Lucy and I talked just the other day. She didn't mention any of this. Did she even know?"

"No Jim, I never told her or anyone else.

"Then why are you telling me this now?"

"Lucy called and talked to Shelly and in essence she told her how much she likes you. I think it is good that she is finally moving on."

"So your wife does not even know. Does anyone besides you and now me know any of this?

"No. Like I said, no one knows."

That took some wind out of my sails. We still had two hours to go before our shift ended. We took to patrolling some of the neighborhoods just to keep a low profile. When our shift ended we both went to our local cop bar for a couple of drinks.

"Fred, has Lucy been so lonely that she would actually feel comfortable with dating again?"

"Not so lonely she needs to date but Jim, Shelly told me Sunday night that Lucy may actually like you. She also told Shelly that when you two kissed she felt some electrical shock just before your lips met."

"I felt it too. It must have been static electricity in the air" I said.

While heading home that evening I decided I needed to talk to Lucy about some things but I also didn't want to push her into something that may or may not happen. I just figured I would call her sometime the next evening when I got home. Tuesday was also one of those no brainer days. It was filled with routine stuff not worth mentioning.

When I got home Tuesday evening I fully planned on calling Lucy but there was another message on the answering machine. It was from Bill this time. He wanted to meet with me that evening at a local watering hole. So I went over there not really knowing what to expect.

When I got there and went in I saw Bill sitting in a booth near the back of the place. The lights were not dimmed but they were not bright either. Bill noticed me and waved me over.

"Jim, how have you been? Long time no see."

"Good to see you too, Bill. Glad to know that you and the girls are getting along so good. How is Karen doing?"

"She's good Jim. She is just getting over the beating she took a while back but other than some soreness in her rib area, she's good. Look Jim, the reason I asked you over is to apologize to you about what happened when you were on your last training mission. It bothered me that we left you like that, but none of us wanted to face you with the truth."

"Look Bill, I already know about the three of you wearing the same wedding band and about both kids. I don't care anymore. It is past history and that is where it is going to stay. I don't dislike any of you three but I also don't need any of you in my life right now. So if you don't mind I am going home."

With that I got up to leave. As Bill stuck out his hand for a handshake, I shook it and left. We said our good byes to each other. I felt a sense of relief after telling Bill that. I wanted to move on and I didn't want any baggage from my past being dragged along. I needed to see Lucy. Instead of calling her I decided to just go and visit. I didn't like what I saw when I got there. In her driveway was a strange car that I did not recognize. Since her and I were not really an article I did not stop and kept on driving.

The next day I asked Fred if Lucy had another boyfriend or someone from her past that would be visiting her last night. He didn't know of anyone but he would check.

"Hey let's just drive by and check on her now" he said.

We drove by and the car was still there. Whoever it was spent the night. I did not like this one bit. I know I should not have felt jealous but I did. I don't know why, but I felt somewhat betrayed also. Fred saw the look on my face and told me to pull up and stop. There has to be some sort of explanation. I was not sure I wanted to hear it but we pulled over anyway. We went to the door and knocked. Lucy came to the door just about the time some guy came down the hallway holding Danni. My heart sank.

"Jim, I am glad you are here. I want you to meet someone. This is Tom, my brother."

As Lucy introduced us, Danni leaped from Tom's arms into mine. She hugged me and I could see Fred, Lucy and Tom smiling.

"Jim, it is a real pleasure meeting you. Lucy told me a lot about you. Danni said she likes you 'cause you smell good."

I was about as embarrassed as anyone could get. I had thought the worst. With my track record I figured it was going to happen all over again. Tom was in town for a couple of days and wanted to see Lucy and Danni. He planned on leaving early afternoon but I convinced him to stay and have dinner with me, Lucy and Danni. He went to the phone and called his wife and told her why he would be late that evening. He only lived about two hours away so it was not a problem staying for dinner.

When I went to pick them up, Tom said he would take his car and that he would leave right after dinner. We loaded Danni into the car seat and we headed out to one of the nicer restaurants in town. The food was good and the company was better. The conversation between the four of us was so comfortable you would have thought we'd know each other for years. The evening came to an end all too soon but Tom wanted to get a start for home. We all said our goodbyes and I took Lucy and a sleepy Danni home. I took Danni in to her bedroom and Lucy changed her into her pajamas. I was sitting on the couch when she finally came out.

"I so enjoyed this evening" she said." I am glad you had a chance to meet my only brother. I think he liked you. He didn't seem put out by you at all. But if Danni likes you then you probably pass muster with the rest of the family."

"I'll be honest with you. I drove by yesterday evening after work and I saw his car here. I was not sure what to think so I just kept on driving. I did think you had another boy friend and maybe I should just leave you alone. But right now, I am glad Fred made me pull over earlier today. I would have missed out on the truth. I don't want any secrets between us. I truly believe I am falling for you and Danni."

Lucy responded with one of her electric kisses. I know I felt it I just hoped she felt it too. I think she did because just before our lips touched it sparked and she moaned. That was a passionate kiss. I did enjoy it too much. I was getting excited. I told Lucy that I need to leave before I get carried away. Her eyes twinkled and she just laughed a little and smiled at me.

I drove home in a daze. I don't think I could have been any higher if I had taken some drugs. I was on an adrenalin high and I was riding it for all it was worth. It is a good thing my car could drive itself because I don't know how I got home without causing a traffic accident. That would not look good on my record as a cop.

Lucy and I started dating and within five months we were a couple. We did not have sex until a few months later. My past was behind me and I felt comfortable about moving ahead with Lucy and Danni in my future. Have you ever had one of those premonitions that something was just about to go wrong? Well I did. When I got home from a Wednesday afternoon patrol I was greeted at the front of my house by Bill and Karen.

"Oh shit, now what?" I thought to myself.

Bill asked if they could come in. After we got into the house, Bill got straight to the point.

"Jim, James needs a new liver. He is going to die without one. I know we agreed that we wanted or needed nothing from you but he is your son and he needs you right now."

"Look Bill, you, Karen and Tammy should really know me by now. You should not feel reluctant in any way about asking this for his health. Apparently he is sick and I am the only one that will be able to do anything about it. Just let me know what I need to do. I'll be there."

Karen cried and Bill looked hopeful. I know Tammy will be relieved. I just need to figure out a way to tell Lucy. I did follow-up with their doctor and found out that I would only need to give a small part of my liver to replace his liver. I would be out of commission for at least six months for work and probably only four months for sexual relations. Well since I wasn't having any sexual relations at that time it would not be a real BIG problem. I have plenty of vacation and comp time and sick leave so money would not be an issue either. I finally told Lucy about my plans to donate part of my liver to James.

"Look Lucy, I know I have told you about me having a son. What I don't remember telling you is that they live here in town. Before you ask I have seen them only in the line of duty and Karen and Bill separately. They wanted to apologize to me for the way it turned out. I told them don't worry about it, but I didn't want or need them in my life. I am moving forward. James, that is the name they gave my son, is in need of a liver transplant. I intend to give him some of my liver. Not enough to hurt me because they said my will grow back. I don't know how all of that works. But it will save James' life. I hope you understand."

"Honey" she started out. "I have grown to love the guy you are. Danni wants you in her life too. So it is unanimous that we both want you around. If you feel you need to do this for James, then do it. Danni and I will be there to make sure you are nursed back to health. We'll be your personal nurses if that is what you'll need. I do want to know one thing though."

"What is it you want to know?"

"Is anyone going to tell James why it is you who are giving him what he needs or even who you really are?"

"I had not thought much on that line of questioning. All I can do is ask and see what they say. If they don't want him to know that would be their decision. But I think I want him to know who I am and why I am doing this. But I will not disrespect them like they did me. That would only hurt James and would not accomplish anything."

Lucy hugged me and then Danni crawled up in my lap and went to sleep. I was due the next day to the hospital to be prepped for surgery. If all goes well, James will have a new liver and I should be in recovery in about three hours. I'll be out of it for a few more hours but I should be ready to go home the next day.

When I woke up, I saw two of the most beautiful things I could ever hope for. There was Lucy and Danni staring into my eyes. It took me a minute to remember why I was here. After I smiled at the two of them I asked how James was doing. Just then a nurse came in and took all my vitals and told me I would probably go home first thing in the morning. Before she left I asked about James again. Before she could speak, Tammy came into the room with tears in her eyes. I did not know if James survived or not. All she could do was cry and say thank you. I knew then it was a success.

I was released the next day with instructions to take it very careful. I was not to lift more than five pounds. I didn't know it would be this hard on me. When we, Lucy, Danni and I, got to her place I did ask why here. She merely told me it would be easier to care for me while I was there instead of at my place. She took me to her bedroom and laid me down on her bed. Danni crawled up in the bed with me and laid her head on my chest and went to sleep. It was not long after that I too fell asleep. Lucy had taken out her camera and took a picture.

Hours later I woke up with Danni still on my chest. Lucy just happened by and helped to take Danni off of me. I needed to use the toilet. I felt I needed a bath also but was hesitant to ask. When I returned to the bed Lucy noticed some distress in my demeanor and asked what was wrong.

"Is there something wrong Jim?"

"No not really. I just feel I need to take a bath but I didn't think I had it in me to ask you to bath me."

She smiled at me and went into the bathroom to run me a hot bath. Then she helped me into the bathroom and removed my clothes. She smiled when she pulled my boxers down. As I was getting into the tub, I did notice we "accidentally" kept bumping into each other. Once I got situated in the tub, which she had put bath oil and bubble bath beads in the water as it was running, I settled down just to soak for a while. Good God, it felt good. She left the bathroom but said she would be back after she checked on Danni.

She returned in just a few minutes, but I had my eyes closed just enjoying the soaking I was doing. Then I felt the water move and noticed she was climbing into the water with me. As she sat down in the tub, she scooted me forward enough for her to sit behind me. I was pleasantly surprised to find her as naked as I was. She started washing my back slowly using the wash rag as she sensuously messaged my back. She also slowly ran her hand across the incision. It was covered with some sort of water proof or water resistant coating that would allow me to bathe without worrying about the stitches falling apart too soon.

As she sensuously bathed me, I was starting to drift off into lala land. I started lying back onto her chest. I felt her breasts pressing into the shoulder blades of my back. It felt fabulous having her wash me like that. Eventually she started washing my chest while I was sitting there with her. I was leaning back onto her and her legs wrapped on each side of me from behind. Our bodies were touching, her front to my back. The inside of her legs to the outside of my legs. Her arms were wrapped around me as she was slowly washing my neck, my chest, my stomach and eventually down below my navel. It was so erotic and sensual I could not help from being aroused. Just as I thought she was going to wash my dick, she stood up, slid me towards the back of the tub and sat down in front of me. She had her back to me at this time. She sat down and leaned her back against my chest. Our slick bodies rubbed each other so slowly I was beginning to get a hardness down below and I knew she could feel it. She started washing my legs. She washed first my left leg, then my right leg. She spun around and parted her legs as she sat down between my legs. It is a good thing they were under the soapy water. Her legs were resting on top of my legs and our bodies were less than a mere foot apart. I had a wonderful view of her neatly trimmed bush as she sat down. It was matted to her body because of the water and the suds. I was so turned on I did not know how to approach her.