A Life Gone By

As I handed Bill a card with my cell number on it, I asked that they consider it.

"Look, I'll see you guys later" I left.

When I got home Danni asked if I saw the little boy.

"Yes Danni I did" I said.

"Is he going to carry the ring?"

"Danni, I left that up to his parents to decide. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

Danni looked a little disappointed but went outside to play. Lucy wanted to know what happened.

"Lucy, I told them I was not going to try to come between them and James. I also said that if James asks why I gave him part of my liver that I would tell him that I was just a near perfect match. Then I told them it was Danni that wants this, not me. But I am OK with it as long as it does not create a problem between them."

Lucy hugged and kissed me.

"That is why I love you Jim. You are considerate of others. You did not have to do what you did, but you jumped right in and did it without any hesitation. I don't know if James means anything to you other that the fact you are is father, but I can tell it means a lot to Danni. She really wants to have him carry the ring."

"OK Lucy, maybe we should invite all of them over to let them see we have no ulterior motive. Danni wants this, so let's get it to happen. Have you decided on a date yet?"

"Yes. I figure we could get married in three months. That will give everyone from out of town to make their arrangements and give me time to do some of the things I need to do. You and I have not rushed anything yet and I don't want to start now. You do know how much I love you, don't you?"

I kissed her hard. I felt like swooning. Everytime I sees her, I get excited. I cannot wait to make her mine. As we were kissing and rubbing each other's back, Danni came in and ran over to us and grabbed one leg each and hugged us too. I could not believe my luck. I really hoped fate was not going to play a cruel joke on me again.

A month later, Bill, Karen, Tammy, James and Sue came over for a Saturday afternoon B-B-Q we were going to have just for them and us. We all got to know each other. Danni liked James and Sue immediately. They were all around the same ages and it appeared the three of them just went into the "Kid World" and left the adults alone. Occasionally James would look our direction and smile.

"Bill have you guys told James I am the one that donated part of my liver?"

"Yes. We all three told him. He said he wanted to meet you. That's why we called and agreed to come to your house. By the way, it is a nice place. I love the big fenced in back yard."

"Is there anything I need to explain to the three of you so you'll know our intentions about asking James to be our ring bearer?"

"Are you wanting to have James become part of your life?" asked Karen.

"As I told you earlier, the answer to that is no. But if he ever asks about me I might tell him. I won't lie to any of you. What you did hurt me. It hurt badly at the time. I could not figure out why the three of you would leave just one week before I returned from my training. I think had you stayed I might have understood but I probably would have chosen to go ballistic. You chose to leave and that blind sighted me. I hurt for two years. I poured myself into being a cop when I got home and a year later I finally started moving on. A piece of me died then but I held out hope. Then I met Lucy and it seemed to me my life had turned around. The day I met her daughter, it completely turned me around. I fell in love with little Danni and eventually fell in love with her mommy. To make a long story short, maybe I should thank the three of you for abandoning me like that. I probably would not be where I am today if you hadn't done that to me. Anyway it is Danni that wants James to be in the wedding party. I cannot say no to her. She is like a little angel from heaven. She has so much love to give and I intend to be there as her daddy from now on."

"Damn Jim, you got it bad for Lucy then, don't you?" said Karen.

"I could not agree with you more. But I would like an answer about letting him be in the wedding before you leave today. It's not much longer and the wedding will be here before you know it. So think about it and please let me know before you leave."

The rest of the afternoon went well. The kids played together like they were cousins and the adults got along good once the ice was broken. They agreed that James could be the ring bearer and they left on a happy note. After Lucy and I cleaned the yard and put the leftover food in the refrigerator we also turned in for the night. Tomorrow was going to a good day. I could just feel it.

"Good morning handsome" Lucy said as I opened my eyes. I looked around for Danni because she is usually right there in bed with us.

"Where is Danni" I asked.

"She must be all worn out from yesterday. She did play pretty hard you know."

"Yeah, it looked like she liked the kids pretty much."

"I haven't seen her play like that in a long time. She looked happy" said Lucy.

"So what is on the menu for today" I asked.

"Nothing planned. Why don't we just play it by ear."

When Danni finally did get up she looked excited and ran over to us as we sat in the kitchen drinking coffee. She jabbered away like most kids wanting to tell us both how much fun she had and wanted to know if they could come back over. Lucy told her we would think about it.

Later that afternoon, we went to the city park and just walked around and enjoyed ourselves. We ate hot dogs and washed them down with sodas. We walked the hiking path and just enjoyed the total serene atmosphere and all the pleasantries that go with the whole family setting. Fate was looking good for me.

The next two months flew by with all the wedding plans, finally the rehearsal dinner and the greatest finale' of it all, the wedding.

When the wedding march started, Lucy started walking down the aisle. She looked like royalty. Believe it or not, I was a nervous wreck. My best friend told me later that he thought I was going to pass out. I might have been close to that but all I really knew at the time was that Lucy was so beautiful. As I looked her in the eyes I could see twinkling star lights looking back at me. Her face was veiled, the gown went down to the floor and trailed her by five feet. Her glove covered hands and forearms. She was statuesque in her pose and had the most radiant smile one could imagine.

When I heard "You may kiss the bride" I dove right in.

I never wanted to release her. Finally, Fred, my partner and groomsman, told us to get a room, we came up for air. When I finally released Lucy, Danni came running up to us and jumped into my arms.

"Daddy, I love you" is all she said.

I got emotional to the point I almost cried with tears of joy.

The preacher announced "I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Jim McDonald, and of course Danni.

As Lucy and I was making our exit from the alter I carried Danni. Now we are family.

Fred and his wife kept Danni for the week we were honeymooning. What happened on our wedding night was magical. Even though Lucy and I had been making love before we were wed, it was just more magical because we were now really united as one. I undressed her, kissed every inch of her body. She undressed me and did the same to me. Once we finally consummated our marriage, we fell into a blissful sleep. I also found out what she had bought that her and Danni kept a secret. It was a Fredericks of Hollywood sleepwear. I don't know why they call it that, because she didn't wear it to sleep in, that's for sure.

We were awakened by Danni calling us on the phone. After laughing we did talk to her for about ten minutes before we were able to hang up. We wanted to consummate our nuptials again and again and again. We finally called for room service for a meal somewhere around five that afternoon. We had not eaten since before the wedding and we had gotten hungry. The motel gave us comp on our first meal as newlyweds. When we had finally eaten something, we showered together and got dressed for an evening of dancing. Since we did not have to leave town we knew where we were going without having to look anything up.

"Jim" she said. "Right now I am the happiest I have ever been. I do not want this feeling to ever end. I love you so much. Let's dance."

I was not about to argue against anything that would allow me to hold her close to me in public. We danced all the slow songs and a few of the faster ones too. The good thing is there even were more slower ones than faster one. As the evening grew close to an end, some guy came over and asked Lucy to dance. I politely told him she was with me and this is our honeymoon. He did not want to leave so I had to get firm with him. He took a swing at me, which I was able to block, then I hit him hard in the gut. There were some other off duty police officers in the club and quickly corralled the situation. When I finally identified myself as a cop, the actor that initiated the altercation was hauled to jail and charged with drunk and disorderly conduct, and assault and battery. I decided it was time for me and Lucy to head back to the motel.

Again we made love. We started out by slowly removing each other clothes. Eventually we made it to the bed. As her mouth neared the head of my dick, I felt another zap between us just before contact. Could the air be electrically charged this much or did we actually have that much of a connection? I know I felt alive everytime we were together. When I went down on her, there was that same feeling of being zapped by an electrical current. Every time she and I felt the zap, we would also hear some sort of sound like a small lightning bolt.

We were oral to each other for half an hour. When we finally were able to regain some sort of normality to our breathing we just lay there beside each other. Eventually we started hugging and letting our hands roam over each other's body. I found her well manicured bush and was just rubbing and probing her with my hand. She had found my manhood and was stroking it. She sat up, straddled me and proceeded to ride me. After just a few minutes I felt her tremble. When she settled a little bit, she continued rubbing her hot pussy up and down my shaft and over my stomach area. I penetrated her again and we both came immediately and passed out.

I awoke the next morning and we showered, together. After getting dressed I had to ask her about the guy from the club last night. "Lucy, do you know who that guy from the club last night was?"

"Yes, he was one of the three guys I dated before we met. I told him at the time that I did not wish to see him any longer. He tried to push his point about me being a prick tease and that we would sooner or later cross paths. I just told him to stay away and for the most part that is what he did. I had not seen him since he and I had our last date. At least until last night anyway. Why do you ask?"

I told her "Since I had been burned three times in the past and I never did anything to try to get them back, I would never not fight for what is mine again. If it meant that I would have to go to jail, I'd fight. Now that you and I are married, I'd kill anyone that even tried to take you from me. That is a promise. You know me, I don't break promises."

She just came over and hugged me. We kissed and left the motel room. We had the continental breakfast at the motel and then set out to see some of the city we had never seen. All in all it was a wonderful day. The next four days were filled with us having a good time touring the city. Sex was on that menu, a lot of making love sex.

We were happy when the time came for us to finally go home. Our honeymoon was a success as was our homecoming. Danni was the first to greet us as we pulled into Fred's driveway. There is nothing sweeter than having a woman love you as much as Lucy loves me, except maybe having her daughter love you also. Danni never called me anything but daddy from that day forward. Fifteen months later, we gave Danni a new sister. We named her Luce. Two years later her brother Eddy was born. A year later our twins, Jean and Frank, were born. With five children we were done having children. Lucy wanted to get her tubes tied but I was strongly set against it. If something were to happen to me and she remarried, I wanted her to be able to give her new husband children. I got my wings clipped.

Things went very well in our lives. First Danni graduated high school and was able to earn a scholastic scholarship. The year after she graduated college with a BA in business administration, Luce graduated high school. She too was able to score a scholastic scholarship. She decided she wanted to be a nurse and ended up with a degree in nursing. I tried to persuade her to become a doctor. When Eddy graduated, he had obtained a football scholarship. He would wind up in the insurance industry. A week before he was to start fall training, Danni got married. Jean and Frank graduated a year later. She wanted to become an accountant. Frank wanted to go to trade school and become an electrician. Our lives had been a wonderful roller coaster ride with more ups than downs. James had never become part of our lives.

Jean and Frank actually got married on the same day to another pair of twins. It was funny because Frank's wife was Jean's sister-in-law for two different reasons. Jean's husband was Frank's brother-in-law for the same two reasons.

Tragedy finally struck. Fate had reared its ugly head. My wife, Lucy was struck with Cancer. She never complained about any pain and I never noticed she was in pain. We were retired and in our mid sixties. She did not want any treatment. She had seen what it did for one of her friend's dad. While it prolonged his life for only another twenty-five months, he passed away weighing only ninety pounds. He used to weigh almost two-hundred pounds before he started taking treatments. She did not want to put us through any of that. She had known about the cancer for months before she finally told me.

The day of her funeral, I cried the hardest I have ever cried in my life. I spent the past week in hell. I felt there was nothing left but hell for me from then forward. Lucy was in the ground less than thirty minutes when I went berserk. Frank took me home and tried to console me. Danni had been there nearly all the time for the past three months. Fate had taken another woman from my life. The first two were girlfriends, the second being a less than faithful wife, and now the fourth. The most loving, most beautiful, the most full of life person I had ever known. Now she was gone. I had no reason for living.

A year later I contemplated taking my own life. I actually had the gun in my hand. Now all I had to do was put it to my head and pull the trigger. It would be all over and once and for all. I would beat fate. I knew I had to do it. I knew I wanted to do it. As I looked around the room, I saw all the pictures of Lucy and the kids and an old faded photograph of Danni's father, Danny.

It looked to me as if he was saying "Jim, Please, Don't Do It."

I put the gun down and fell asleep crying on the couch. In my dreams I saw Danny and Lucy hugging. They were also looking at me. Danny seemed to be telling me thank you for taking care of his Lucy. Now he would take care of her until I got there. The three of us would be family. I knew that when I woke up, I would live and not let fate have its way with me. If I was going to die, it would be from old age. I still had kids and grandkids to love and cherish.

It was not long after Lucy's funeral before my demeanor started turning sour. I became grumpy, grouchy, short tempered and just a major pain in the ass. Some of the things I did even had me wondering if I was still sane. After the near attempted suicide I realized that I missed Lucy tremendously. I would sleep and see her in Danny's arms. I would go into a trance like state of being and I would see her and Danny hugging. I knew I should not feel like this. I knew they loved each other before he was killed overseas. I was the one that insisted that his picture stayed on the "Wall of Fame" where we kept all our treasured pictures. Was all of this my fault that I was feeling and acting this way? I missed Lucy.

Danni came over to visit. I could see Lucy in her. Danni had always been able to get me to do something I did not want to do. She had me wrapped around her little finger, even now. She wanted me to sell the house and move in with her and her family. She told me I would more than likely mellow out from what I was feeling. I cried. She held me. I cried some more. I loved Lucy and I missed her. I did not want to sell the house. It held all my memories of Lucy and our five kids. We had raised them here. We had a wonderful life here. I wanted to stay here.

I told Danni about my dream of Lucy and her dad, Danny hugging in heaven. I told her that Lucy told me they would be there with open arms waiting for me. They both told me how much I had meant to them. I didn't even know Danny when he was killed in action, but his voice seemed loud and clear to me during that dream. I told Danni I wanted to be with Lucy. I did not want to live another day without her. I really wanted to die and be with the only woman that ever loved me as much as I love her.

Danni came to me and hugged me. Later she called all the other kids and told them we need to have a family meeting. She also told them to drop everything and be at her house this Saturday morning without fail. It is that important. She told them no details over the phone.

She just said "BE THERE".

All the kids showed up as ordered. Danni explained to them what I was going through. She had a plan that she said would maybe help me out. She told them the plan. I had no idea what was about to happen.

They showed up at my house the next day and packed everything up. They forced me out of my house and moved me into Danni's house. Eventually they sorted things out, got rid of the useless stuff and sold everything else. I got to keep my recliner. They also listed the house that Lucy and I had raised all the kids in. It sold in just under a month. I had nothing to look back on. All my memories were either stored or just plain gone. I had no say so in any of it. The kids probably knew what was good for me a lot better than I did. Lucy had done a good job raising them.

I settled into a routine at Danni's home. Her children would always make sure I was never alone. One of my other kids would visit almost every weekend. I slowly started coming out of my funk. It had been only fifteen months since Lucy had passed away. I still dreamed about her. The dream I had about Danny and Lucy slowly started to fade. Every now and then, it would reoccur. Only now it did not hurt me as bad. I had accepted the fact Lucy was gone and was now in Danny's arms in heaven. But I still missed her greatly.

With all the activity going on now, I did not have time to reflect on my sadness. Joy was eventually coming back into my life. Even I could see it in me. I now had time to reflect on my entire life. I knew my life would come to an end at some point, I just did not know when.

By the time I turned seventy I got the news I was looking for. I was dying. I welcomed the news of my impending death with open arms. It was then and only then I had another dream about Lucy and Danny. In this dream, Lucy told me she was waiting for me, her lover, her man, her savior, her lifelong partner. I told her I would be with her soon. I could see us in my dream now. We were hugging. Danny was also there. He was fading fast. His image was becoming translucent in my dream. I knew my time was short. I looked forward to it.

I was on my death bed with all my children, my grand children and even both of my great grand children. I told them not to weep for me. I would soon be holding Lucy forever and ever. I closed my eyes...