AD 2022: Welcome Back Cane & Birch!

In fact, things turned out not to be as bad as the Admiral had foreseen. A suitable ship was found "second hand" in South Korea and the Koreans were so glad finally to get rid of it that they agreed to fit it out as a training ship to the British Navy's specification at a knock-down price. So in 2024, some two years later, the Navy became the proud possessor of a ship which could cope with about one hundred "cadets". I say cadets for want of a better word and in fact they were officially called cadets; but the lads who were to live and work aboard the HMS Endeavour as she was newly christened on her arrival in Plymouth, were, in fact, prisoners. The Courts had sentenced them there for two years in the hope of turning them into useful citizens, rather than condemning them to an approved school a juvenile detention centre.

But before things actually got underway, came another "coup de grace" from Whitehall, who wanted the Navy to occupy itself with not one but two hundred lads. The Admiral went through the roof when he received the news: "Who the hell do they think they are they are over there," he said, "Suddenly to tell us that we have to take twice the number of boys than we had budgeted for. How on earth are we supposed to fit two hundred lads into a ship designed for half that number?"

His ADC was somewhat calmer, having had warning on the grape vine of what was to come he had had a chance to think about things and was his usual calm, cool and collected, constructive self: "Well sir, we don't actually have to send all the cadets to sea at the same time. I see no objection to their two years of training being a split fifty-fifty between land and sea. After all sir, the Navy does have ample empty facilities at Plymouth, what with all the cutbacks left right and centre we have had over the past few years. In fact sir, on might say that we are ratting around in our Plymouth facility: you are aware, I am sure sir, that it's half empty at present. And I might add, sir, that what I am suggesting is precisely what we do both with training naval rating cadets and commission cadets; half their time is spent on land and the other half at sea: so I see no objections at all being raised. In fact sir, I think that now we have the ship and the budget we should get on with things and stop worrying about Whitehall. At the end of the day sir, taken in the overall context of the UK's naval activity, it is only a very minor thing we are to be involved in. After all sir, nothing we do will affect the country much, either one way or the other."

"But I foresee another problem," said the Admiral. "It is all well and good to call these lads cadets like the others; but there is a very important difference. In our normal training activities, whether for ratings or officers, the men we are training have chosen to join up; they are there of their own free will and want to make a career in the Navy. Now you cannot compare that with the sort of riff-raff we are going to be landed with. I don't want to be a snobbish, (which of course he did), but there is a world of difference in working with a group which is willing and one which has been, how shall I put it, more or less press-ganged into it."

"Now I can tell you that even with the officer training division, we have a hell of a time keeping even those young men on the straight and narrow, especially as for the last several years we have not been allowed to use any form of corporal punishment on them. So how on earth are we going to keep order with some two hundred petty criminals: and I say "petty" lightly, because some of these lads are downright dangerous; how the hell are we supposed to keep them in order if we can't thrash their hides? Just let me tell you from long experience, the thought of getting one's arse roasted can be a great deterrent."

"But sir, of course we can use corporal punishment on these lads. The law was changed about two years ago." The Admiral's ADC was flabbergasted that his boss did not seem to be aware of this astounding piece of volte face legislation on the part of the then government. But perhaps the old boy lived too much in the past. "Yes sir, both the cane and the birch are alive and well throughout the country; I can tell you sir, that it was a group of public school masters, including my own brother, who teaches at Rigby School in Lincolnshire, which was one of the most persistent lobbyers of the government to persuade it to re-introduce corporal punishment as a means of combating the rising lawlessness among young people throughout country; and so sir, the post Brexit government, finally gave into the general clamour of voices from all sides and the act of parliament was passed some two years ago."

If the Admiral was embarrassed by his lack of knowledge, he did not show it; in the great tradition of the armed forces of the UK, he ploughed ahead regardless: "So if I understand things correctly, you are telling me that we can flog these young ruffians who are being foisted on to us; well that certainly is good news. Thank God that the powers that be finally came to their senses, saw the light and took a sensible decision for once."

"Well sir, it's not quite like that. I did say the cane and the birch, but not the whip. So we shall have to content ourselves, when the need arises. as it surely will, with applying the cane and the birch to the backsides of our young charges; so we cannot actually flog them. But I am sure I don't need to tell you sir, as an ex-public schoolboy of the most prestigious educational establishment in the country, that both the cane and the birch, when well applied, can be very dissuasive of bad behaviour. But sir, as you surely know, the Navy re-introduced corporal punishment into its training establishments almost two years ago; both cane and birch are in regular use in both rating and officer training posts as well as on our ships, where they keep the younger crew members in order."

The Admiral huffed and puffed: "So typical of Whitehall to do things by half; if we're going to reintroduce corporal punishment, why the hell didn't they re-introduce the lot; whips included?" The Admiral seemed blissfully unaware that the whip in the form of the infamous cat-o-nine-tails had not been in use in the Navy for almost eighty years. "And let me just tell you something, the birch is utterly useless for a sea-going ship. My housemaster at school maintained that to be truly effective, a birch needed to be freshly cut that day if the receiver was to get the full benefit of a proper birching. He told me that as he was preparing to birch me for illicit smoking; and by God, he was right: did it hurt! I can still remember the sting of those twelve strokes to this day. But where the hell are we supposed get any form of serviceable birch on a ship underway at sea?"

"Well sir, things are not quite a bleak as you think. The old concept of the birch made from a bundle of twigs has now been completely superseded by what is known as the cable birch. If I might explain sir: the cable birch is made of a number of strands of a plastic covered cable, itself formed from a number of fine steel wires, twisted like a rope into a cable. The result is a very flexible cable, lengths of which are then fixed to a handle. There are several calibres and lengths of this instrument available from the suppliers, but he most common are the 2mm and the 4mm versions, both of which when correctly applied to the naked buttocks of the offender are very painful; very painful indeed sir. So you see sir, under the latest rules, we are allowed to use the standard rattan cane in various thicknesses and these two birches. And if I might just add sir, my brother who as you know teaches at Rigby School tells me that they have adopted the cable birch and use it regularly for all serious misdemeanours. According to him one has to be very careful when applying the cable birch to the naked posterior of some deserving offender, not to lay it on to heavily as one can easily take the skin of a lad's backside."

The Admiral cheered up at the thought and said: "Sounds exactly what we need; I've no objection at all to seeing a little blood run when a lad is punished, after all that's the way it was in the old days and they all survived."

At the end of the day, things calmed down, and the new project took form exactly as the Admiral's ADC had suggested. So a hundred lads were on ship and the other hundred on land. The programme was that each group would spend six months either at sea or on land and then switch over so that after the two years envisaged, each lad would have sent a year on land training and a year at sea.

The operation was controlled and coordinated from the Dartmouth facility. An elderly Commodore, John Creighton, was the titular head of the entire enterprise; beneath him and totally responsible for day to day operations on land was a certain Commander William Grey, known for his strict adherence to rules and capable of maintaining order. On board and in command of HMS Endeavour was Captain Roland Whittaker, again selected for his ability to enforce discipline with an iron hand. So, all in all, the two main protagonists in this new venture were both equally rigid men from whom the cadets and indeed the non-commissioned officers and ratings also could expect no quarter. Obey the rules and all will be well: but disobedience and laxness will be severely punished. So the newly introduced instruments of corporal punishment were in good firm hands and a very receptive atmosphere and would certainly see service whenever needed, both on land and at sea.

The first contingent of the cadets arrived, not quite a hundred strong and were all assigned immediately to the HMS Endeavour. It had to be remembered that these lads, aged between sixteen and eighteen, were from all parts of the country and had been convicted of a variety of offences by the local courts. None of them had ever before had to live in a closed community, which was in itself a shock and to be obliged to sleep, wash and generally to obey a set of strictly enforced rules was not easy. Also as most of them had never actually done anything at all useful in their lives, knuckling down to the exacting daily work schedule was like being thrown into a bath of ice cold water. The young lads were kept occupied from roll-call in the morning at six, to supper in the evenings at seven. They had little free time to get into trouble, but where there's a will there's a way and inevitably many of them did, with very painful consequences; consequences which none of them had ever envisaged when they were assigned to HMS Endeavour.

On their arrival, Captain Whittaker addressed the group. He made it quite clear that absolute obedience was required from them at all times and that any offences, even minor ones, would be severely punished. He told them of the arrangements by which punishments would be carried out on board ship by introducing them to the concept of that Friday night ritual, the Punishment Parade: Any cadet committing an offence will be placed on the charge sheet for the next PP, as it came to be known. Both commissioned and non-commissioned officers down to the level of Petty Officer rank, could slate any cadet whom he felt needed to be punished and that lad's name would be entered onto the charge sheet for the Friday night PP. The list of cadets to report for punishment was posted on the notice board at six o'clock each Friday evening and every cadet on the list must to report to the punishment room at eight the same evening

The captain went on to say that all candidates for the Friday PP would arrive on time outside the punishment room and would be correctly dressed for the occasion. The correct dress, he went on, with considerable relish, to add, was bare foot, with a gym singlet and shorts, the latter to be worn with strictly no underwear. Whether all this made any immediate impression on the majority of the cadets was difficult to say. Did they, in fact, understand the significance of what might happen to them if they had the misfortune to find themselves on the PP list? To judge from their reaction, which was practically non-existent, not a word of what had been said had sunk in: the message had heard but not registered!

This was born out when the list of the "lucky" lads who were to participate in the very first of the weekly Punishment Parades was posted; no less than six cadets were slated to be thrashed that Friday evening; but the great surprise was that there were an additional three names on the list; names of regular naval ratings, crew members, who were also, for some unspecified reason, to be punished. So the first PP was "well subscribed" with no less than nine participants.

Like the cadets, none whom had previously known one another, members of the ship's crew were, for the most part, on their first posting together; a few of the ratings had served on other ships together and the second in command, with the rank of Lieutenant Commander, had served with Captain Whittaker on his previous posting; but beyond that, all the commissioned and non-commissioned officers were new to their posts, had never before crewed together and had to get to know one another and learn to work together. So there were no established cliques aboard HMS Endeavour.

A young sub-lieutenant, aged twenty-three years, called William Alexander Curtis (Alex to his friends) had been placed in charge of all discipline and it was he who finalised the Friday list and prepared the charge sheet which would be read out to each individual who had the misfortune to figure on it. WAC, as he quickly became most appropriately known, thanks to that chance configuration of his initials, was the latest in a long line of naval personnel from the Curtis family. One of his direct forebears, his namesake, a William Alexander Curtis, had served as Commander of one of the ships in Admiral Lord Nelson's fleet at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805. He had not been aboard the Flag Ship, Victory, but he had been at the battle. And from then on, every generation of the Curtis family had supplied at least one commissioned officer to the Royal Navy, of which the latest, and probably also the last member, given his sexual persuasion was the present William Alexander.

Naturally a commissioned officer never actually wielded the rod of justice himself. That distinction had fallen upon a young Leading Hand called Sean O'Connor. The same age as his immediate master, Sean was from Northern Ireland and had started his naval career when aged sixteen he had been accepted as a cadet trainee seaman. He had then gone on and signed on for twelve years as a Rating and now, after seven years or so, mainly at sea, he had achieved the rank of Leading Hand. In view of his strong physique he had been nominated by the Captain as the person most suited to the job of wielding the cane and the birch; as such he was took on the given the non-official title of "Beater"; so once his official duties had commenced and the crew realised the here was the man who would become the scourge of the ship he was always referred to as "Beater O'Connor".

Belying his ethnic background, Sean O'Connor was the exception which proves the rule: he was a blond Irishman. Just over six feet in height and with a strong muscular physique, it was not difficult to see why he had been chosen by the Captain for his present special post.

So, the implementation of the Punishment Parade was in the hands of two young men, who until they met on board ship, did not know one another. And had the Captain not designated Sub-lieutenant Curtis as Chief Disciplinarian and had he not selected Leading Hand, Sean O'Connor, to administer the cane and the birch, chances are that the two young men might never have really got to know one another in the way they did and of course, this story would then have been quite different. But apart from the professional relationship which linked them, unbeknown to each of them they did have another thing in common: they were both gay; moreover, they were both gay and unattached.

Sexually both men had been very active in their previous posts, but having been moved around from posting to posting, neither young man had developed a lasting relationship with any of his previous partners: and so, here we have two young gays brought together quite by chance, each of whom was footloose and fancy free. What was quite clear was that had they not been thrown together, the sex drive being what it is, both of them would have sought out new partners from among the crew and, dare one say it, from among the older cadets on board. Whether this pair would have found each other whilst on board is difficult to say, but that is not the way things happened.

The first close contact that the two men had together was when Curtis summoned O'Connor to the punishment room early on the Friday afternoon, to check that everything was in order for that evening's "inaugural performance"; that the correct canes and birches were available for the first Friday Punishment Parade and that the beating horse, which had just been delivered on board prior to sailing, was fully equipped with the necessary retraining straps. So we have here the first meeting between a commissioned officer, albeit a junior one, and a rating; but rank, as ever in the Navy, played its usual role.

"O'Connor," began Curtis formally, "You and I have to work together regularly on this Friday night punishment business and I think it my duty as your senior officer, to tell you exactly how things will happen. I just want to get it right from the word go, and as we shall not have a rehearsal, it is vital that everyone know the part he has to play as I want no slip-ups. The cadets and ratings to be punished will be brought under guard to wait to be called in the corridor outside this room. All the men will be barefooted and wearing only a pair of gym shorts with no underwear and a gym vest. In this room, apart from the two of us, will be two other ratings whose job it will be to settle the offender on the horse and to see that he is properly strapped at the ankles and wrists to render him immobile. We do not want the offender to thrash around and disrupt the punishment once you have started laying on the strokes."

"I will read out each name on the charge sheet and that man will be will be brought into this room by our two assistant ratings. I will than read out the punishment he is to suffer. Please remember that neither you nor I have any influence in what you are going to do; you will use in each case the type of instrument punishment and apply the number of strokes as are set out on the charge sheet. Our job, or rather yours alone, as it is you who will be wielding the cane or the birch, is just to carry out the punishment; ours is not to reason why; we are there to carry out the sentence as prescribed: no more, and certainly, no less; any pleas the offender makes for mercy, however loudly, during the punishment will go unheeded. I should tell you that all the offenders on the list will have been passed by the ship's doctor as fit to receive the punishment prescribed."

"I shall then order the offender to remove his shorts completely, step across to the horse, which he will mount, if necessary assisted by the two ratings, who will see that he is firmly strapped into place. At that stage we are ready to begin the actual punishment. I will call out each stroke in turn and you will then administer the blow to the naked buttocks of the offender. I shall pause for some ten to fifteen seconds between each stroke to ensure that the offender fully appreciates the intensity of the pain of each successive stroke. And so we shall continue until the requisite number of blows has been made. The offender will then be released from the horse and we shall pass to the next man on the charge sheet and so on. I trust O'Connor that all that all that is perfectly clear. If you have any questions please feel free to ask me now, as I want no slip-ups this evening; and remember O'Connor, all cadets and non-commissioned ranks on this ship may be sentenced to corporal punishment, and that includes you as well!"