Against the Wind

"Enough flirting, young man or you won't make it to your bunk!" She could swear she saw him shiver. A blind man could have seen him blush.

He actually tucked her in. He even kissed her on her forehead. "Good night Christina... sweet dreams... and no wake-up call tomorrow."

"Good night Noel... and thanks again for this truly amazing day."

---

"Good morning sleepy-head... sorry... you need to wake up..."

When Christina ascertained that the voice was real, and Noel's, she opened an eye and whined lazily "I thought you said no wake-up call..."

"Sorry about that... I didn't expect you to sleep eleven hours straight and I wasn't counting on a visitor this late morning."

That woke her up. "I beg your pardon?" Upon opening both her eyes, she saw Noel, fully dressed in nautical apparel, waiting for her at the table with a coffee and a plate with what looked like two homemade bacon-cheese-and-egg muffins with slices of pineapple.

"The wind picked up a bit today - probably an upcoming cold front. Anyway, most of the boats have already left and one of dad's closest friends is on his way, by dinghy. He's probably had his first gin tonic already and he's probably about to challenge us to a friendly regatta. But he truly is a nice fellow. Enjoy your breakfast, I'll be right back..."

Christina hustled to the table and saw it was past 10 AM; she had indeed slept eleven hours - incredibly well, in fact. Breakfast turned out to be delicious, if only lukewarm. She could hear their booming voices in the distance.

"Permission to come aboard, lad?"

"Granted, you old loup-de-mer! Pleasure to see you!" After some imperceptible chatter, she heard their footsteps coming towards the cabin. "Philippe Hubert, I would like you to meet Christina Thomas, one of the lovely sirens who nursed me back to health."

Philippe was taken aback, and Christina, in fact, noticed his white face redden and his lips turning almost blue. "Madame..." was all he said while he proceeded to give her a very formal baize-main. "I had no idea you had company, Noel, and I will leave you be..."

"Don't be shy on my account, good Sir! Noel told me he expected you would issue a challenge..." She saw a sparkle light up in his eyes.

"Well, Madame, call it a tradition... or even a taunting, in fact, as his poor departed father kept running after my wake."

"You're on, Mister!" As she said it, she threw an imaginary gauntlet and poor Noel could not figure how to insert himself in this vaudeville.

The old sailor had a beaming and almost lecherous smile, accentuated by his blond beard. "Tiger point in 30 minutes? All-around-the-island?"

That was Noel's cue. "Sure thing, Philippe... we'll be there. Now go back to your Gin Fizz... I need to secure our gear and get ready."

After Philippe left, Noel looked at Christina with an amused smile and said, with an affectionate tone "well, I won't ask how well you slept and how good you feel today!"

"Noel, please look at me..." when he did, she whispered, amazed "...I have NEVER, EVER, slept so well and so much before! That was fantastic!"

"Glad to hear it... now, today will be a little sportier. I will lend you a sweater to wear under your life jacket, and today the life jacket stays on you all the time, all right? Plus, it won't rain, but we'll probably be quite wet by the end of this, so do you also want rain gear?"

"It's nice of you to worry about me, Noel, but I'm not made of dark chocolate... I won't melt. I will gladly accept the sweater, though..."

"Good. Then you should get dressed while I secure all this bric-a-brac."

Close to thirty minutes later, Frenchie's Appeal met Gin Fizz II off Tiger Point and the race was on, to Christina's supercharged delight. She skipped and Noel trimmed the sails. At times, the list was enough for her to feel standing rather than sitting.

"Do you want to keep this beam reach, skipper?"

"Yes... it's faster!"

"All right then..." He loosened the sails somewhat. "How does she feel now?"

"Like a winner!" Noel had an amused smile and pointed her towards the odometer - 7.6 knots. "Wouhouuuu!!!" It was after coming about that she realized the error of her ways. Whatever distance they had gained by speed they now had to redouble on the second tack, as Gin Fizz II kept closer to the island by staying closer upwind. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, reproachfully.

"Because you're the skipper and you're having so much fun, because the old maid is doing great and because we never had a prayer to begin with. Christina, that's an Oceanis 35.1 - he has at least 100 sq. ft. of extra sail on us and a hull designed for performance; plus he's no spring chicken at the wheel."

"That man is a walking heart attack!"

"Yes, I know... every morning that I see him dive in that lake, I wonder if he will make it to the surface. But as long as his bum heart keeps on beating, it will be one of the most generous I've ever met. He was dad's executor and he made I-don't-know-how-many trips to care for me..." He could swear Christina was mollified by all this "...he was also the first adult I ever saw naked."

"WHAT!?!"

"Yeaa... I can laugh about it now!" He was, in fact. "He was returning from a 2-year circumnavigation trip in his first Gin-Fizz and we boated south to greet him, near Troy. He was quite a sight: standing at the rudder, bigger-than-life, brown as a coconut and unabashedly buck-naked! I figure people forgot to tell him he'd made it back to the USA! Anyway, that leaves an impression on a 9 year old! Poor old dad never said a word."

And Christina joined in on the laughter. "What say you tighten these sails so we can give that French bucket a run for his money?"

"Aye Aye, Skipper!" He went at it, completely amazed. She barely walked on docks 28 hours ago. Now she was welcoming every splash of lake brine like a divine offering. After trimming the sails, he offered her a light beer, which she toasted to the old maid and drank like ambrosia.

Well, they never did have a prayer to begin with, but they could see the old sailor bow in appreciation of their effort. After the regatta, Noel asked Christina to take them downwind and he set the sails in gull wing.

"Now, Christina, if you want to keep the helm, please remain careful, because if you lose the allure and the mainsail crosses, which is called a jibe, it will be with wind force and the boom will swing like a baseball bat. I will keep the Genoa in front as it's too windy to use the spinnaker."

"All right. Say, Noel, just how many different sails do you have?"

"A 170% Genoa, which we used yesterday; a 150% Genoa, which we're using now; a jib, a storm jib and a spinnaker. Plus the mainsail, of course, which is a racing main but I can adjust the sail area with the two rows of reefing points you see there."

They kept up a lively discussion about sailing and Noel's youth aboard until it was time to lower the sails, motor in to port and berth. When all was done and tidied up, they both had bittersweet smiles when Noel locked the cabin. He made Christina promise to call him if she needed anything, which she did but found peculiar.

When Noel came to the only home on land he has ever known, on Macomb Street, the adrenaline of the week-end left him dreadfully fatigued, as he had barely slept the night before. He knew already that he was in love with someone who saw no chance in hell of them being together, whatever her feelings, and he was not amused by the divine comedy that was turning out to be his life. The phone rang before he could wallow in self-pity.

"Noeeeelll!!!"

He smiled. "Let me guess... you're out of the shower?"

"Bath, actually... you knew?!? What's happening to me? I feel dizzy but my pulse is OK..."

"Christina, relax... you have been rolled and rocked by waves for the entire week-end and your body is getting use to flat, steady ground again. The distraction of the phone call probably allowed your brain to fix its bearings. How do you feel now?" There followed a short silence.

"Better, actually... so this happens to you, too?"

"After every sailing week-end. It's my way of knowing it's really over."

"Then I'm sad."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want it to be over. This has been the happiest, prettiest week-end of my entire life. I mean it."

"Then I owe you copyrights."

"Huh?"

"I want to say to you the exact same thing."

"Can we settle the copyright fee over backgammon, next week-end?"

"Nothing would make me happier. I'll go to the bank tomorrow."

"Call me tomorrow night, you silly bird!"

"And you can call me anytime. Good night Christina." He hung up after she returned his farewell, and then talked to himself. "I love you... and I am so fucked up..."

**** Sandy Point bridge ****

"Everything alright at the helm, skipper?"

"Yes, Noel... is it time to signal the bridge?" Frenchie's Appeal was approaching the Sandy Point bascule bridge, on engine power. Christina saw Noel take out of storage a small canister with a horn screwed on top of it. The medium-pitch blare of the horn was so loud that Christina was startled to a scream which no one heard.

"Christina, meet the first culprit to send me to your unit."

"You got a burn from this thing?"

"Frost, actually, which as you probably know is pretty much all the same to bare skin. I mishandled the horn, when screwing it on a new canister, and it popped out, leaving the canister to eject all its compressed gas in maybe 10 seconds... by the time dad and I regained our senses, the can was frozen solid on my left hand! You should have seen the boils when we got the can free under cold water!"

Christina was not enjoying this conversation and she replied flatly. "I see enough of those, thank you... and I also recall vividly the pitiful state of your left hand when we first met, Noel... I wasn't sure it could be reconstructed as well as it finally was." She was holding his left hand and caressing it... and Noel did not shy away from it. The ringing of the warning chimes, on the raising bridge, brought them back to reality.

"Take us through, skipper, our hike awaits..."

It had been Noel's suggestion, after studying the week-end weather, to venture to Burton Island State Park, in Vermont, for a hike. From Plattsburgh, it is also a somewhat lengthy sailing trip that, so far, was going well. After clearing the bridge, Noel raised the sails again and they made good time. By late-afternoon, Frenchie's Appeal was moored.

Despite the fact that the trail was flat and did not require it, they hiked hand in hand. They had chosen the meal together and barbecued pork tenderloins and vegetable skewers in one of the picnic areas.

In the evening, Noel again lost joyously at backgammon and Christina was pleasantly surprised by a new musical ambiance, a mix of Motown and Bruce Springsteen. When quizzed about it, Noel shrugged "New-Jersey."

"You will be a man after dad's heart! You really like The Age of Aquarius?"

"Yes, I do, in fact I love it... the real question is: do YOU?"

"Dear Lord, yes! That can play on forever... and it takes me at least 25 years back in time! Thank you for guessing so right and doing this, Noel."

When came time for Noel to tuck Christina good night, this time she broke the ice, with a declaration she seemed to have rehearsed. "Noel, last week I told you about myself because I did not want you to feel rejected out of this bed... the fact is, you are an extraordinary man who deserves to be happy with a loved one, and my only regret, in this amazing friendship of ours, is that I cannot be that person. To answer your very first query, I do trust you implicitly and I will always be happy being here with you. Good night, Noel..."

When came time for Noel to kiss her forehead, he whispered back "For the first time, Christina, you are wrong. You ARE that person and you will always make me happy being here. But that is a discussion for a later time. Sweet dreams, my darling..." And before he turned to head for his bunk, Christina could swear she saw a tear on his cheek.

---

"How is she handling?"

"Just fine, Noel, the spinnaker does not change much, except for the scenery, of course..." After another long sleep and considering the light wind, Noel had indeed decided on rigging the spinnaker for the downwind leg of the return trip. He had also lifted the keel board, for an extra ounce of speed, as drifting is not an issue downwind. The sail was ballooning nicely in front of the bow, flashing its gaudy colors, and Christina kept it steady at the helm.

"Don't get me started about that! Why do sail makers, as soon as they get their hands on nylon, feel the urge to color everything like a circus tent? I mean, this is a white sailboat, not a hot air balloon!"

"Don't get all Mr. Architect on me, Noel! I like that sail... it feels like chasing the rainbow!" And Noel, watching her wistful smile, was befuddled on the spot. Her minimalist pearl-white bikini did nothing to help his focus. "Noel, would you please take the helm now? I would REALLY like to lounge in front this afternoon." She kissed his cheek to crystallize her request.

Noel gasped. "God help me! I have a sailboat wife aboard! So you get to tell me what sails are pretty, and then what? When to oil the teak? What scent to use for the cabin soaps?" He was playing, convincingly, at being outraged.

"Noel?"

He laughed and kissed her right back on her cheek. "You DO get to do all that, honey, and all you want... I couldn't be happier about it! Here, I have the helm... enjoy yourself and be safe!"

Back in Plattsburgh, before leaving, Noel gave her a small gift-wrapped present. They were keys. "This one opens the cabin lock. This is the engine ignition. You can ALWAYS come here, Christina, and be free and be yourself; or get away from it all if you feel like it." This time, Christina was the one with wet eyes, driving home.

**** Butcher Block steak and seafood restaurant ****

"You're sure about this, Christina? This will cost you an arm and a leg... and your unit specializes in hands..."

"Veryyy Funny! Of course I'm sure! It's the least I can do since you've been shepherding me aboard for the last six week-ends... besides, my backgammon winnings are paying for this!"

"Oh! Then I can order dessert, too!" Noel was laughing softly and savoring his clam chowder. He was self-conscious about keeping his booming voice in check, mindful of the other patrons. But, truth be told, every single second not spent eating or talking, Noel was blatantly staring and admiring his dinner hostess. "Christina darling, I know I'm repeating myself for the third time, but you are beautiful beyond words and I just can't stop admiring you."

"Will you stop? I can blush too, you know?!?" But Christina Thomas was, in fact, beautiful beyond words for her first evening out on land with Noel. She was wearing a cloud-grey satin cocktail dress, with shimmering silver linings worked in the fabric, which was both high-cut and plunging at the neckline, highlighting her figure to exponentially spectacular effect. She completed her dress with silver eyeliner, deep red lipstick, silver stilettos and long silver earrings. "So you use to come here with your dad?"

"Yes, this is... was... our big events place. It's where he also got me, VERY patiently, to stop mourning for the lobsters in the aquarium and savor them instead. Our other more regular hangout place, a pizzeria, is now closed. But tonight is a big event and I'm happy to be here; congratulations on your new Dan! And thank you for letting me attend."

"Don't be silly! Of course I would want you there with me! You... have... become very important to me, you know?"

"You really mean that, Christina? Then tonight we ought to try finishing the conversation I left open on Burton Island, that is if I can be brave enough." He toasted before eating his salad. "Cheers! May this be the start of something even greater..." Christina toasted and drank in silence, so Noel kept at it. "So... how far do you intend to keep on training? Do you envision yourself becoming grandmaster and taking over the dojo someday?"

"I never thought about it that far along. I don't live my karate with objectives of performance or status. I needed something for self-defense and exercise, true, that is how I started, but now it is really just part of who I am. Do you know, in fact, that I had postponed this examination twice, owing to my new priorities?"

"You don't mean me... us... I mean, do you want me to talk to your master or something?"

"No, silly! Stop always trying to fix things and listen to me: there is more to life than fighting; in fact, it is very much part of the balance one must search, both in karate and in life. And you ARE part of my life, Noel... sailing as well, of course... but you... you have become part of my balance. A big part. I'm grateful for that."

"All this beauty and wisdom too... God, I feel like an underdressed toad, right now. All right, my turn..." He sipped some wine, trying in vain to extract some liquid courage, then took the plunge "...Christina, I love you."

Most of the unexpected snap kicks or chops he saw, two hours ago, have had less impact than this declaration. Christina stopped chewing... and, temporarily, breathing as well. "Please don't say that, Noel, nothing good can come of it..."

"And you think I don't know that? Do you think that I'm not terrified of what I HAVE to say? Would you rather I refrain from being myself? Because that is who I am, Christina: someone who loves you. I cannot un-say it. I will live to make you happy and will accept whatever you want to share with me, even if it's nothing more than what we currently share."

"But... Noel... I will hurt you. This... can't work."

"You don't know that for a fact... and neither do I because I keep staying in port. And now I want to put myself out there."

"But..."

"Christina, I beg you, let me have my say, because I can only do this once. See my hands shaking? I know very well just how much against the wind we will be as a couple... I mean, hey, let's face it: different age, different skin color, different culture, similar genitals... it's a huge deal and, at the same time, it's irrelevant. Christina, I love you, plain as day. If that makes me gay, your boy-toy, both or none of the above, then que sera sera. It has nothing to do with how grateful I am for your care, and it is so much more than the crush you probably think this is. Do you know that my only purpose in life, when we are currently apart, is to prepare for when we are together? Right now, in fact, I feel anguish because we don't go sailing this week-end, and I'm too chicken to ask you to spend time with me or even just ask about your plans, like I use to..."

That bit of information was news to Christina. As much as it was unexpected, she was even more surprised about the sting of hurt she instantly felt. "I'm sorry, Noel, I know you asked me not to interrupt... but... we're not heading out this week-end? Why?"

"See the overcast out there? It's a warm front about to get lower and give us two to three days of calm winds and constant, dreary, rainfall. Sailing in the rain is even worse than camping. Everything smells damp. Staying in port is even worse, as the boat does not move naturally and it becomes very unpleasant. I was not looking forward to subject my loved one to that kind of discomfort."

"Then we keep the sails tucked in and we cocoon ourselves in a bay, no? Noel, I want to be with you, especially now. How can you be both so brave about life and love and fearful of puny clouds?"

"All right, that's settled... bring books and board games should we tire of backgammon. Now, can I go on embarrassing myself for you, please?"

Christina relaxed and projected reassurance with her smile. "Don't be embarrassed, please, Noel; I have never been courted before and, believe me, I am quite moved. So, yes, do please continue."