Alex & Alexa Ch. 16

I put my face in my hands, rubbing it wearily.

"And you're sitting there trying to figure out why we have a problem with your marrying your aunt when we didn't blink about you fucking a girl who is a relative removed by a factor of twelve," she said dryly, not terribly impressed with my exasperation. "Alex, she's your aunt. A very direct relation to you, and she's my baby sister. Forgetting for a moment that avunculate marriage is legal nowhere in this country, how on Earth could I possibly be tra-la and whimsical about my sister and son getting being in love and getting married?"

She had me there. She sat back and sighed, making a motion with her hand. "Just continue, I refuse to believe this has ended."

"Well, Freja visited after that, which no doubt threw you off the trail again," I said. "I'll admit, they included me in their lovemaking as often as they could."

Mom raised an eye. "So at this point you were having sex with your aunt-wife and her soul-mate?"

"I... yeah. Freja totally approved of Alexa and I being in love. She even offered to legally marry me and carry a baby that Alexa and I would conceive, so that we were bonded."

"This gets more twisted-sounding with every moment," mom muttered. "And then Freja met Jeanie and they fell in love. And since Alli was involved with them sexually, I can only assume that means you were too."

I shrugged. "We had a foursome in the gym and that was when Jeanie asked Freja to marry her."

Mom was lost in thought. Dad stayed resolutely quiet beside her, a figure of towering calm. The more I looked at the two of them, the more obvious the folly of all this became to me. What had I done?

"The Edith Piaf song," mom murmured. "It was never about Freja, was it?"

I shook my head. "It was Alexa singing to me, telling me that even if we never managed to work things out, she regretted nothing, and she would always be mine."

Mom's eyes were tearing again. "Alex... she's your aunt. It would have been the most beautiful story in the world, except for that. I... you know, your father and I could possibly have accepted you two having casual sex, because you were physically attracted to one another. I could possibly overlook that, if you were being careful. But in love? Were you planning to run away to somewhere that allowed avunculate marriage?"

"No," I said firmly, shaking my head. "We couldn't. She just got here, mom. That was never a serious consideration. It would have broken Alexa's heart to leave you behind so quickly."

"Just go on, Alex," dad said. "There's no doubt more."

"Freja had told her mother and her dad, and they approved, seemingly," I said. "I guess avunculate marriage is legal in Denmark, so it wasn't a big deal to them, if somewhat uncommon. Anyway, her mother was very kind in her advice to me, telling me to spend every moment I could with Alexa if I truly loved her. I guess she knew what was coming."

"I remember the bouquet incident," mom said distantly, remembering. "I convinced everyone to let her catch it. And her eyes shot immediately to you. You kept laughing and clapping, giving no indication of your feelings, but Alli's eyes betrayed hers. It was at that moment that your dad and I were convinced she was secretly in love with you and that we had to do something."

"Makes perfect sense when you put it that way," I sighed. "I... that's pretty much everything unless you want lewd details. I've been as honest as I could. So... now what?"

There was a long silence. I said nothing. Everything depended on mom now. Finally, she spoke. "I understand why Alli ran away. But it was the wrong thing to do. I need my sister back."

She couldn't hold it in any more and she turned to my father, her eyes brimming with tears. "Michael, I need my sister back..."

She burst into sobs and dad held her, caressing the back of her head, his eyes closed. I waited, my mother's tears slicing through me like knives. I'd caused her such anguish. Getting her sister back should have been one of the happiest days of her life, and I'd become the reason Alexa ran away.

"Alex, do you have your phone?" dad asked finally. I nodded and pulled it out. "Give it to your mother, please."

I unlocked it and gave it to mom, who disengaged from my dad and took the phone, sniffling as she composed herself. Her eyes were red and bleary, and I'd never seen her look so heartbroken. I felt like the worst person to ever live.

Mom composed herself and dialed a number in the phone and then activated the speaker function. We waited silently while it rang and finally someone picked up.

"Heya, Alex," Jeanie chirped cheerfully. "How's it hangin'?"

"Jeanie, sweetheart, it's Karen, Alex's mom." my mother replied.

There was a pause of confusion on the other end. I cold almost hear Jeanie looking at her phone screen to check the number, but she recovered quickly. "Hi, Lady Prof, how's your bod?"

"Jeanie, would you please put Freja on the phone?" mom asked levelly. Jeanie called out for her wife and the Danish girl answered seconds later.

"Hello, Mrs De Bourne?"

"Hello, Freja," mom said, trying to keep her voice from breaking. "I know you're still on your honeymoon in Muskoka, and I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you'd heard from Alli."

"No, we have not, not in the last day or so," Freja replied. "Is everything alright?"

"No," mom almost choked. "Michael and I told her we knew she was in love with Alex. We gave her some time alone, but then she disappeared, leaving a note saying she loved us all."

What followed were several seconds of silence and then Freja spoke.

"We'll be down immediately."

***

Muskoka was normally three hours away, but there was a knock at the door within two. We'd mostly been sitting quietly, with mom crying against dad occasionally. There wasn't too much to say just yet. Dad got up and answered the door, while mom and I both stood. We heard him invite Jeanie and Freja inside.

Jeanie immediately rushed over to mom and hugged her, both of them bursting into tears. Freja, meanwhile, walked up to me, took me by the hand and led me out of the living room and into the kitchen. She turned around to look at me, taking my hand in hers and placing it against her heart. Her eyes were hard with fear and worry.

"What do they know, Alex?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"Everything," I replied. "Everything."

She thought about my response and nodded. She then led me back into the living room and went to hug my mother, starting to cry with her while Jeanie came over to me and took my hand, watching.

"I am so sorry, Karen," whispered Freja. "So sorry for my part in this."

"You're the best friend she could ask for, Freja," my mom breathed, trying to control herself. "Do not be sorry, just... help me get my baby sister back, please..."

"I think we'd all better sit down and discuss this," my father said, watching us passively. He gestured for Jeanie and Freja to sit on the love seat while he and mom sat back on the large chesterfield. I took my place in the lounger. He looked at us all and sighed. "I guess let's all get caught up so we're on the same page."

I recounted for Jeanie and Freja everything that had happened from my point of view and then mom filled in details from her end and let them read the letter. Jeanie was mostly silent, but Freja sighed at the conclusion of my mom's story.

"I am so sorry," she said sadly. "From what you have described, I have never seen her so despondent. Let me... let me call my parents."

She pulled out her phone and dialed a number. We could vaguely hear a woman's voice on the other end and Freja began speaking in Danish, her tone uncharacteristically serious. The voice on the other end lost its cheerful tone as Freja explained something. I heard her mention myself, my mom and dad, and of course, Alexa. The call did not seem to be an encouraging one. She finally hung up and sighed.

"My mother sends her regards and her... feelings?"

Mom nodded. "I know what you're trying to say, Freja. Thank you."

"Okay," said the Danish girl. "They have not heard from Alexa. But that does not surprise me. I... I do not think she wants to be found."

Mom burst into sobs again and dad hugged her. Jeanie balled her fists and squeezed her eyes shut, tears trickling down her cheeks. Freja put a hand on top of hers, consoling her.

"I chased my baby sister away..." mom choked.

"Oh, Mrs De Bourne, no!" Freja protested, crossing the floor quickly and kneeling in front of my mother, taking her hand in hers and looking up at her with tears in her eyes. "No, Karen, not at all. Alexa, she thinks she is protecting you all. This is not your fault."

"She wouldn't have left if I hadn't confronted her."

"But of course you had to," Freja insisted. "You didn't know the whole story, how could you have? We kept it from you. What you were doing made absolute sense at the time."

My mom pulled Freja to her and hugged her. Freja trembled as she fought back her tears and then looked at my mother again. "She had to go, Karen. She loved Alex too much to stay. I know her better than any of you. I've never seen her in love before, not like she was... is... with Alex."

My face flushed red. I found myself wishing again that the earth would swallow me.

"So, we all agree we want her back, but she doesn't want to be found," dad said, trying to gather our focus. "I guess we'd better start trying to piece things together. I'll start in her room. Alex? Freja? Which of you would know her room better?"

We looked at one another and I shrugged. "I... I've been in there more often, but I imagine Freja would have the better intuition about things concerning Alexa. She's known her longer."

"Let's go, Freja," dad said, rising. "Alex, you and your mom still have talking to do, I think. Jeanie, stay with them."

"Yessir." Jeanie said dutifully, nodding. They left without another word, heading upstairs to search Alexa's room. Several moments of silence passed before mom looked at me.

"I cannot believe how completely you had us fooled, Alex," she said quietly. "I never even suspected. I know a lot of parents are blind to how their kids behave, but your father and I always had a good bead on you."

I shrugged and smiled wanly. "It's... it's not something I'm proud of, mom, but I really didn't know what to do."

She sighed. "And I don't even know what to say, Alex. She's your aunt. She's my little sister. Was the sex really that good?"

"Oh, she's a total Bene Gesserit, Mrs De Bourne." Jeanie piped up.

We both looked at her, rather bewildered to hear anything like that coming out of her mouth.

"What?" she said somewhat defensively, frowning a little. "I liked the Dune novels and things that smell like cinnamon. Gimme a break already."

Mom shook her head and turned to look at me again. "It's just so unlike you, Alex. You've played it straight and safe most of your life. Brave, sure, but you've always been sensible. This is so out of character."

"You think I don't know that?" I replied. "I was the one living it."

Mom sighed and pinched her eyes for a moment. "Alex, I know your father and I do some strange things, like messing around with our students on occasion..."

"Thanks for that, beeteedubs." Jeanie added, smiling. Mom ignored her.

"And yes, your father and I even had a fling with some twin sisters," she continued. "But there were no implications for them, and none really even for us. This is on a whole different level."

"I know," I said quietly. "I... you have no idea how much we wanted to tell you. The stress of not saying anything got pretty immense on occasion."

"I can imagine," she agreed. "I don't even know what to do if we somehow convince her to come back, because there's still your situation to deal with. Breaking you two up as soon as she gets back here can't possibly improve anything, and we can't pretend it isn't happening, either."

"I know... I know..." I sighed, putting my face in my hands, trying to compose myself.

A few moments passed and then something I didn't expect- the feel of my mother's arms around me, hugging me tight.

I held her as well and we said nothing for some time. I know how hard this was on her and now we were just trying to get through it, one way or another. Jeanie sat quietly and watched us until dad and Freja returned. Mom looked up at them.

"Anything?" she asked.

"Nothing terribly useful," dad replied grimly as he sat on the chesterfield and mom joined him. "Just about everything is still here. Only things gone are her laptop and any personal identification, along with her phone. She left pretty much everything else, as far as I can tell."

"I tried calling her, of course," Freja added. "No response."

"She must be hurting real bad if she's cut you out too," Jeanie said, caressing Freja's cheek. "We can't get her back if we can't find her."

"And there's not even any guarantee she'll come back anyway," Freja sighed. "I've never seen her like this."

"I think we've been sort of dancing around the obvious issue, too," dad now stated. "Whether we like it or not, it's the reason she left."

I looked away, which my mother saw. "Alex, we're not going to talk about this like you're not here. It's okay to speak."

"I can't, mom. I'm sorry." I said quietly.

"Why, baby?"

I drew a deep breath. "Because I can't talk about Alexa except... except as my wife. That's the only context I have for you. Maybe it's silly to you, maybe it's absurd. But it's the only frame of reference I can give you about any of this. And so I don't really have anything to add."

Mom and dad said nothing. Jeanie and Freja looked on quietly. Yes, they were involved, but this moment didn't concern them.

"You got married, hm?" dad mused.

I nodded. "You guys had a kegger that night, you left us a note that we found after we got back from the glade. We had a rather pleasant honeymoon as a result."

Mom grimaced. "Not on my bed, right?"

"No," I said, trying not to chuckle while Jeanie snickered. "I promise."

Mom sighed. "You already know it won't stand up legally. This whole thing still overwhelms me in so many ways. The length of time it's being going on, the scope of it..."

She looked at our guests. "Anything you two can add to shed some light on this can of worms?"

Freja made a wry face and looked at Jeanie. "Can of worms?" Jeanie shrugged helplessly. Mom might as well have said antidisestablishmentarianism. Nonetheless, they both contributed what they could to the narrative. Freja related many late-night Skype conversations with Alexa where she talked endlessly about Alex, to the place where Freja was convinced her friend was in love. Since avunculate marriage was legal in Denmark (if unusual), she didn't care at all, as long as Alexa was happy. She just cautioned her about the implications here.

Jeanie was every bit as honest, if somewhat less insightful, for the most part. She mentioned her sex with Alexa and then teasing Alex with nude videos of her aunt, thinking she was being a silly pest by suggesting that Alexa and I having sex would be hot.

Then she walked in on us making love in our office and she was struck by exactly how beautiful and perfect we were together, that she was even jealous, sad because she'd never find a love that deep and meaningful. Freja bit her lip and hugged Jeanie while she spoke. The brunette continued.

"I... I guess I never really stopped to consider how much this could fuck things up for you two," she murmured, looking at my parents. "I mean, you guys've been inside me, so I guess I just figured you were sorta untouchable, y'know?"

"Jeeeez..." I groused, putting my hands over my ears.

"A little late for that reaction from you, Mister Lannister," mom said dryly. I didn't know whether the return of her sarcasm was a good thing or a bad thing in these circumstances. Although I was happy that she'd stopped crying, at least for now. "Please continue, Jeanie."

Jeanie considered her next words. "No word of a lie, I was so happy for them, I never really considered anything else except keeping their secret."

"You're a good friend, Jeanie," mom said. "I'm sure Alex and Alli appreciated that."

"Wish we hadn't had to." I sighed. "I don't even know if 'sorry' is the right thing to say, mom."

"I don't know either, Alex," she said wearily. "I don't even know what to think. This has torn our family apart in one way, but if I'm practical, then I consider what might have happened if this thing between you two had gotten out at the university."

I squirmed uncomfortably.

"Not everyone likes your father and I," she explained. "There are lots of people who resent our influence over the departments. Something like this would give them a lot of slander material to work with. The university could reject that nonsense outright, but if a big enough stink was made, however undeserved, they could also decide it was just easier to let us go. And what legal action could we take, since the premise we're fighting to keep our jobs on, an incestuous relationship, is illegal?"

I said nothing.

"Even if we won, there would be a cloud over us for a long time to come," mom said quietly. "Alex, I'm not saying that your father's and my careers take precedence over your happiness, but there are very serious considerations to be examined here. If this got out, forget the effect it would have on us, what would it do to you and Alli? If it was widely-known, who would hire you for jobs? You couldn't even attend a church in peace."

My face was in my hands. I couldn't say anything. I just let her talk, I owed her that. To the most dreadful depths, of every aspect I'd ever avoided, I would let her take me there. Because it had to be faced, for all of our sakes.

"I mean, you could move out of the country," she pointed out. "But I can't imagine that suiting Alli, after nineteen years of desperately wanting to know her family. She just came home. She wants to be here."

"It's true, she does," Freja agreed. "She wants to live here more than anything. It has always been her ambition, even when we first got to know one another. To come home, it was... everything to her."

Mom stopped talking and wrestled with her tears again. Dad had an arm around her. I think it killed them both to do it, but they didn't console me or put their arms around me, because I needed to feel this and face it alone, even if they were so nearby. In some ways, they might as well have been across the continent.

"I need a rest," mom said finally, rising and holding a hand out for dad, which he willingly took. "Alex, we'll talk again when I get up. Ladies, I'm so sorry we had to disrupt your honeymoon."

"There is no honeymoon for us if Alexa and Alexa are in distress, Karen," Freja said readily. "Or you and Michael. We're your friends, and we will remain here until this has seen its end, whatever that is."

Mom smiled and wiped her eye. "Please keep Alex company, then? See if you can figure something out?"

Both girls nodded and walked up and hugged her. Then mom came up and hugged me.

"I love you so much, Alex..." she said in a tiny voice.

Then they were gone. Freja and Jeanie took me to the chesterfield and sat me down cuddling me and whispering their condolences. There was nothing at all sexual about this, even if their hands were on me. We were all worried sick about Alexa.

"My parents will do what they can to see if she arrives in Denmark," Freja assured me. "We will also try to determine if she returned to Cardiff, since that is where Miranda rests."

Jeanie was trying not to cry, caressing my cheek and kissing it gently. She had little to offer except emotional support, which she gave the only way she knew how, with affection.