Alienation of Affection

Two days later, I had hardly entered my office in the morning when the door burst open and Dominic stormed in. With scarlet face and bulging eyes, he appeared to be on the verge of apoplexy and, almost in slow motion, I could see specks of spittle spraying from his mouth. "You fucking cocksucking turd!! What the hell is all this alienation of affection crap?" he shouted, waving a document in the air.

Striding across the office to stand in front of me, he shook his clenched fist under my nose and snarled, "I've a good mind to beat the shit out of you."

Despite the fact that at that moment he seemed to tower over me, I stood firm and said calmly, "You daren't take the risk."

"What fucking risk? I could take you down with one hand tied behind my back."

"You will be satisfied with just bloodying my nose but if I do manage to get the upper hand I will kill you," I told him. I think it was the venom in my voice rather than my words that unsettled him but Dom quickly stepped back muttering something about 'not dirtying his hands'. With apparently nothing more to say, he then turned abruptly and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

After another couple of days, I arrived at work later than usual having been delayed sorting out my kids but was hardly inside in my office when my second in command appeared, asking if I knew what was going on. When I professed ignorance, he explained that some people from head office had turned up; going on to say that both Dominic and Carol had been made to clear their desks before being escorted from the premises. I pretended to be as mystified as he. Next morning I received a courier delivered communication typed on head office stationary which read:-

Dear Sir, With regard to the matter of Dominic **** and your wife, our lawyers hold the considered opinion that the law you refer to is no longer extant. Notwithstanding, we are advised that, by dismissing the aforesaid two employees at the earliest opportunity, we have acquitted ourselves of any and all liability. On that basis we intend to defend the suit, should you chose to pursue it.

That weekend, I was half expecting Carol but it was Dom I saw approaching my front door, so when the bell rang, I opened it with the security chain in place. Seeing my precaution he held out his empty hands palms up, saying that he didn't intend violence and just wanted to talk. Noting that he looked rather subdued, I let him in. I gave him a drink, as hospitality demanded, and when we were seated, with more confidence than I really felt, mimicking his words, I asked, "What can I do for you?"

"I haven't got the hundred thousand pounds you're asking for," he said, "Hell, if I sell everything it will come to a lot less than half of that and then there will be the legal costs if I try to defend this. I've come to ask you to be a bit more reasonable if I settle out of court. If the company caved in so easily, I know I don't have a fucking chance."

I let him wait as I pretended to ponder and then asked, "What do you think would be fair?"

Dom shrugged his shoulders helplessly, "I don't know, the amount that you are asking for I suppose. I have been a bit of a bastard."

I let him sweat some more but that admission saved him some money when I said, "I think it only fair that you pay the £20,000 that is Carol's share of my negative equity because I don't want that still hanging round her neck when you dump her."

"I've no intention of dumping her," he was quick to protest

"Maybe not in the short term but I doubt if you and she will be drawing your old age pensions together. I think that Carol and I might have achieved that if you hadn't intervened, so I want another ten grand for that. You will also pay my legal costs but I don't think they amount to that much at the moment." Having stated my terms I paused for effect and then added, "That is my first and final offer but the amount will increase if you try to delay."

The relief on his face was palpable. "That is very generous, I accept," he said.

Strangely, with business settled he seemed reluctant to leave and launched into a speech which amounted little more that trying to justify his actions. He concluded by saying, "I was willing to lay out cash to win your wife but I never dreamed that she would be quite this expensive. I'm going to end up in a worse financial position than the one you were in when this whole thing started. The Subaru will have to go for a start, would you believe that I paid for that fucking car out of my own pocket.

*

Six months down the line.

I applied for Dom's job but understandably failed to get it; I did however keep my own position and was given an increase in salary, ironically almost exactly the amount that I had hoped for the year before. Carol calls frequently to see the kids. I find that I can't hate her for losing control of her hormones and we have an amicable relationship. I even went away from home for two weekends and one full week during which she moved in for quality time with her children. It seems that Dom has taken badly to relative poverty and I got the impression that, outside the bedroom, Carol is already becoming disenchanted with him. There is no prospect of us getting back together, not least because I have established a special rapport with my baby sitter Sue.