Amy

I know you may not speak to me again, so I wanted you to know how I feel.

First, and foremost, I love you more than life itself. I can't stand the thought of a day without you. I knew from our first meeting you were the one, and the only one for me.

There is a lot about my life that I have never told you, and hoped that you would never know. Finn, who absolutely means nothing to me, is a part of that dark past.

I want you to know it was never anything about you. You are the prefect loving husband, more than any one woman deserves. One that completely satisfied my every want and need. I always saw us growing old together. It was me, and that dark past that brought this to our marriage, and for that, I will never forgive myself.

I have a desperate desire to tell you everything, but I know now is not the time. Hopefully, you will find it in your heart to give me an opportunity to explain myself. Afterwards, I will abide by any decision you may have about our lives together.

But one thing I want you to always remember. I love you with my mind, body, heart and soul. I can't bear the thought of facing life without you. Please give me the opportunity to explain.

I love you!

Forever,

Amy

Well that brought another round of drinks, and I entered another Turkey haze.

I must have dropped off to sleep. About 8:00am I got a call from Helen. She asked if she could come over. In my haze I told her I was in the kitchen, and for her to come in the kitchen door. I opened the garage.

When Helen walked in, I was staring at the shucked bullet. The first thing she said was, "Paul I can't talk to you with the gun on the table. Give me the gun."

I pushed it toward her and she picked it up, and put it in her pocket book. She also threw the bottle of Turkey in the trashcan.

I said, "Amy isn't here, I don't know where she is, and frankly, I don't care."

Helen said, "I know, Amy has been at my house since Friday, and yes, you do care. Now let's get you upstairs."

She put my arm over her shoulder and walked me upstairs to my bedroom.

When we entered the room, Helen exclaimed, "What the hell happened here?"

I said to Helen speaking of the bed, "That's where I caught them with his dick pounding her. That's his cum all over the sheets."

Helen noticed the destroyed door to the bathroom as we walked through. She turned on the shower, and started taking off my clothes. When she took off my shorts I asked, "Are we going to fuck Helen?"

Helen replied, "No, you are going to take a shower, because you smell like shit".

The shower was cold, but necessary. Most of the time I just sat with the water coming down over me, and I cried.

When I got out, and dried off, I noticed Helen had stripped and made up the bed, and put some fresh clothes on the bed for me.

When I had dressed and went back downstairs, Helen was in the kitchen making coffee, and cleaning up. After my second cup, Helen pulled up a chair, and just looked at me.

I asked, "Did she tell you?"

Helen said, "Most of it. She cried all day Friday, and it took me most of Saturday to decipher what she was saying through the tears. I finally figured out what had happened."

I asked, "Is she alright?"

Helen replied, "Oh dear Paul, NO! As long as you two are apart, she will never be alright."

I said, "She had got a funny fucking way to show it."

Helen scolded, "Hush your mouth. Don't you speak about her that way." After a long pause, Helen said, "Did you read the letter".

I replied, "Yes."

She said, "Paul you need to talk with her. There is a lot you don't know. A lot that you need to know. It will never erase what happened, but you will find out why. You need to know. Will you talk with her?"

I have to admit, her letter peaked my interest, and I wanted to know what this was all about. I thought 'Nothing more can hurt me, so why not.' With my head bowed, and my voice in a whisper, I said, "Yes, I will talk to her."

She said, "Good, I will send her right over."

In a few minutes, I heard Amy open the door. She timidly walked into the kitchen wringing her hands. I motioned for her to sit down.

Still sniffling, Amy said, "I don't really know where to begin".

I said, "Why don't you just start telling me who he is?"

"He is Finnegan "Finn" Martin."

I asked, "Who the hell is Finn Martin?"

Amy replied, "Finn Martin used to be....WAS, my pimp.

I thought nothing else could hurt me, but that one hit me square in the face like a brick. My mouth dropped, my ears started ringing, and I was experiencing shortness of breath.

Amy grabbed my hand and said, "I know what you are thinking, but please, please, let me explain."

I pulled my hand away, sat straight up in my chair and said, "Go on."

She said, "I'm going to start from the beginning. My mother died unexpectedly when I was 15. My father was a disabled Vietnam vet. He took her death hard. He drank before she died, but he jumped in the bottle after. He sometimes got real abusive. My mom was a waitress, and after her death we couldn't live on just his disability, so I got a job waiting tables at Mom's old restaurant. I guess they felt sorry for me. They let me work double shifts when school would allow, fed me, and let me take left-overs home to dad. In addition to being abused, my clothes were tattered. I was mocked, and bullied at school. Life was not good. I buried my father the day of my graduation from High School. It took everything left to bury him. I couldn't afford to live where we were, so I picked up everything I could carry, and moved to a woman's shelter. I kept working the double shifts until one day I waited on the well-to-do lady. We struck up a conversation."

She said, "You are a pretty little thing, I bet your parents are proud of you".

I told her that my parents were dead.

She asked, "Surly you don't support yourself here."

I told her that I was living at the shelter until I could find something different.

She said, "I work for a talent agency, and you are so pretty, I'm sure my boss could find work for you. Would you like to meet him?"

Of course, I was ecstatic. I was for anything to get me out of that shelter. She gave me her card, and said to be at her office at 2:00pm the following afternoon.

I didn't have anything to wear, and I had to work the morning shift, so I went in my waitress uniform. At 2:00pm sharp, I was sitting in her office. After some small talk, she took me into a large office to meet her boss, Finnegan Martin.

Mr. Martin said to April, "April you were right, Miss Harding, my name then, is a striking young lady. I think you are right, she needs to work for us."

Finn said he would set me up in my own apartment, and advance me money to live. He would have April help me purchase new clothing, because I couldn't meet their clients looking like this. He would advance seed money for everything, and I could pay him back over time. He did say that his business evolved an area of a sexual nature, and asked if I would have a problem with that. I told him I was a virgin, and didn't know anything about sex, but would learn. He said that he, and April would train me. He seemed extremely excited about me, and said we would make a lot of money together, if I agreed. I said yes, and he gave me a thousand dollar advance. April took me apartment shopping that afternoon. I quit my waitress job the next day, and moved into my new apartment.

For the next week April was my sidekick. We went shopping, and got all types of clothes, everyday, party dresses and evening gowns, bras, panties, hose, everything. She took me to her salon and they gave me new look, from my hair, nails, toes and makeup. I went to the doctor and started on birth control. They even had me apply for a passport. At the end of the week, you would not have recognized me.

Monday started my training, at their offices. I was stunned to learn April was called Finn's top bitch. She was the one that knew everything about his business, and recruited new employees. She was to supervise me. She taught me all of the rudimentaries of sex. Over the week I learned to give hand jobs, blowjobs and the rest. I spent most of my time in the same room, naked, with April and Finn demonstrating. I interacted as they wished. We went through role play of the sex act, but without penetration of me. They were were very careful of my virginity. Finn said he had something special in mind regarding that.

It soon had been a month. When they thought I was ready, Finn said he had my first job. He asked April to go home with me and pack a bag. She was also to escort me on my first job. The next morning I was at the McCarran executive airport in Las Vegas. After a minimal amount of screening, we boarded a private Gulfstream headed to the Sudan. During our trip, April taught me the proper etiquette for a member of the Royal House of Sudan. After arriving we were taken to the most exquisite accommodations I could have ever imagined. There were servants to cater to our every need. A few hours after our arrival, it was showtime. April walked me to the door of the of the Sheikh's room. I knocked and he bid me entry. I will have to say he was easy with me at first, but he got his money's worth. He hurt me badly taking my virginal blood as a badge of his manliness. We flew back the next morning. Upon our arrival Finn divided with me, after all expenses, and paying back Finn's seed money, my share was $17,500. I was hooked.

Now that I wasn't a virgin Finn took the lead over my training. I went back to the doctor, and had an IUD inserted. Between he and April they taught me everything about cocks and where the most sensitive points were. He taught me about keeping my body in condition, and how to flex my vagina muscles, pelvic movement and positions for the clients maximum enjoyment. He taught me the business side, how to handle the money. The theatrics of the game. That's the biggest misconception of hooking. People assume we like sex which is the furthest from the truth. I was taught to put on a big theatrical production to make the client believe they were the best lovers in the world. It is just an illusion, about like the show the WWF puts on. It is actuality about the money. We get the money, I get them to cum, and leave. I was taught to deal with my emotions. Emotions get you in trouble. The core of the business is to get the money, not enjoyment, not love, desires, or attachments.

Finn started giving me job after job. I made a lot of money, and made a lot of mistakes. Although we were in Las Vegas, we didn't do the convention trade. We let the street lizards handle them. Our business was the high rollers, and wealthy businessmen around the world. The ones that respected me, treated me well, and paid big. They paid well for arm candy, a blowjob and to snuggle during the night.

The Sheikh must have told the kingdom about my services, I would fly to the Middle East on his private jet at least once a month and other places in Europe as Finn directed.

I was stacking money in multiple safe deposit boxes. I was making so much money, I didn't know what to do with it. I asked one of my older wealthier gentleman friends about what to do. He introduced me to his financial counselor. He told me he could work miracles. Sure enough, he could take brown money here in the states and through his network in the Cayman Islands everything came out clean and green, but only so much at a time. But even that couldn't hide all of the money. So every time I went to the Mideast or Europe, I took suitcases full of money, and made wire transfers to the Caymans.

After watching the financial counselor, I wanted to learn what he did. With my flexible scheduled, I enrolled at UNLV, and got my degree in accounting.

Even with the highbrow clients, and as careful as I was, this is a violent business. After one bad weekend, a black eye, and bruises, I'd had enough. Watching Finns operation over the years, I found that those who left Finn ended up in the dirt in the desert. I then carefully planned my escape.

Las Vegas has a dark underbelly where money can buy anything. I found a guy that got me a complete new identity including birth certificate, driver's license, social security number, educational and employment history, along with a passport in the name of Amy Gleason. I had my things put in storage. I carried enough cash to support me for years and disappeared overnight. I got a job as an accountant in New York specializing in international investments. After a year I learned a lot, but it was apparent that I had to leave after I had refused the advances of my bosses. Thinking the coast was clear, I moved back to Henderson to work for Richard's company.

When Richard's company got into financial trouble, and no bank would help them. I went to the Board, and told them I had a source that would loan them the money at with a 10% fee, and an 18% interest rate. It was there last hope, and they readily agreed. I worked it through my financial counselor, and the Caymans account, so the Board didn't know I was their benefactor. They had a half a million in the company account in two days. They thought I'd worked miracles. Everything worked out, and I got repaid with fees and interest. The company grew fast, and they found themselves in another financial bind, this time for well over a million. The Board asked if I could arrange another loan. I did so, and they got their money within two days. I got my money, fees and interest back, plus the Board gave me personally a bonus. They never knew I was the benefactor.

When we bought the house, and we needed the down payment, I got it from the Caymans account. There is a bunch of money in the Caymans account, and I would give you every last penny if it would make this situation go away.

After three years, I thought I had seen the last of Finn. Somehow he tracked me down, and showed up at the dance. When he started dancing with me, he whispered that he had photos, and if I didn't fuck him, he would send them to you. He called me Monday at the office, told me I was too valuable to him, and he wanted me to come back to work for him or he would make a lot of trouble. I arranged to meet him in a motel on Wednesday. He called the next Monday, and wanted a repeat performance. Again, I met him on Wednesday. This Tuesday he called, but he didn't want to go to a hotel. Hoping to break me down to come back to work for him, he wanted to do me in our marital bed. In addition, I had made him wear condoms at the hotel. When we did it at the house, he wanted to go bareback or he would expose my secret."

I was totally amazed. I couldn't believe what she was telling me.

She continued, "Paul, you need to prepare yourself. I know Finn. He will do as he said. It is hard for me to tell you. I am truly ashamed to say that I have had all kinds of cocks; big ones, small ones, thick ones, thin ones, and ones in all the different colors. I have done every position you would be able to find on the internet and then some, and it is Finn's intent to show you everything I have done."

I said, "Was that what you did with me? Was it all fake?"

"Oh no my love", she said. "When you are in the business, being devoid of any emotion or feelings is the only way you can maintain your sanity. Most girls are alcoholics or on drugs. Me, I found that I could suppress my emotions, I was just a mechanical fuck bunny. Without emotions, it is just a job, no affection or caring, just get the money, do the trick, and go.

After I left Finn, I wasn't with a man until I met you. During that time I regained my self-confidence and separated from my past. Then you walked into my life. From our first meeting, I knew you were the one, and only one for me. That first time with you was the first time I really felt I could express my real emotions, and desires. I truly believe that that was the first time I had a real orgasm. I am so emotionally attached to you, that I would do anything to protect you and our marriage. I truly love you."

I sat in silence. There was just too much to comprehend. So much, I got upset with her and asked her to leave. She left crying.An hour or so had passed and I still couldn't get my head around the situation. I got another call from Helen asking that she come back over. In less than five minutes, she walked through the door. She had a six pack in her hand, sat down and popped two brews.

She said, "OK, it time to get over this pity party, get your head out of your ass, and in the game. What's bothering you?"

I said, "Helen, it is really strange, but I really don't care about the hooking. That all happened before me, and was a lifetime ago. I wished she would have told me. I think I could have accepted that. All I see is the flashback in our bedroom, and Finn's cum shooting on Amy's back."

"OK," Helen rationalized, "If someone knew you shot a person, or you had done some dastardly crime, and was blackmailing you to keep you from going to jail, would you pay it."

"Yes, but that's different".

Helen said, "No it's not. Someone had something of a terrible nature on Amy, holding it over her head, and she would do anything for that secret not to be known. Now, if someone kidnapped Amy, would you pay the ransom?"

"Before today, yes, in a skinny minute."

Helen continued, "Well that is your decision point. You, yourself would do anything to keep something secret from your past. Now the image of Finn is ransom for Amy. You have to decide if that image is too much ransom to pay, rather than living the rest of your days with your wife. No one can make that decisions but you."

"Helen, would you have done it?" I asked.

"Oh dear Paul, if it meant protecting my marriage or my children, I would strip in Times Square, and give you 30 minutes to draw a crowd to watch me get fucked! Think about it. Both of your futures are at stake, and only you can decide your fate. I'm going home. If you need anything, call me."

I thanked Helen and she left. God, what a day. What a weekend! The more I thought about what Helen said the more it made sense. I knew I truly loved Amy or I wouldn't be experiencing these emotions. Do I want to go through life without her? Could I get this image out of my head? I struggled with those question for hours.

It was 6:00pm Sunday night. I called Helen, and asked her to ask Richard for some personal time off of work. I had some things I needed to deal with. I then asked to speak to Amy. There was a quick "Hello".

I said, "I'm hungry, do you want something to eat?" There was a quick "Yes" in response. I said I would be over to pick her up in a minute.

When I got to Helen's I didn't have to go after her, she came running to my truck. Her face had red splotches, and had no makeup. Her eyes were red and her hair tossed. She was beautiful. We went to a restaurant, just outside our development. There was small talk and long periods of silence. It was hard to talk around the big elephant in the room.

I finally told her that Monday morning we needed to find an attorney. She immediately gasped, and burst into tears thinking it was for the divorce. After I quieted her down, I explained, Finn was never going to leave us alone, he could destroy our reputations. Our only recourse was to fight him. Not saying that we would ever get back together, but for both of our futures, we needed to stop him. I asked her to write down everything she could remember of her time with Finn.

She said she could do better than that. Although the information was old, but she had a copy of April's hard drive on flash drive in a safe box in Las Vegas with details of Finn's complete operation.