Ashlee's Weakness

Macy was an experienced girl who knew how to hold back when necessary even if Ashlee was making it hard for her to do so at that moment. Luckily she knew at least one thing that would make it easier: making sure Ashlee was as distracted as she was. This, again, was easier said than done, but as Ashlee quickly found out Macy was more than up to the task as the next ten or fifteen or twenty minutes of frustrating and beautiful attempts to drive each other over the edge as many times as possible until they neither of them could take it anymore was simply mind-boggling.

By the time Macy had pushed Ashlee away from her saying "Oh my god, stop. That feels so good it hurts," Ashlee could hardly say she was disappointed. Instead her mind was more focused on being so amazed that she was still conscious that she was almost glad to just lay there on their now thoroughly sweat soaked bed and do nothing more than cuddle with Macy until Macy said she was thirsty and five minutes later Ashlee managed to find the strength to get up and get them both some water as Macy joked in a soft, dry voice "Remind your dad when our lease runs out that next time we need an apartment with air conditioning or at least one with proper windows so we can put one in ourselves or we're going to die come summer time from dehydration or lack of sex."

"I think I'd prefer dehydration personally," Ashlee said sitting down on the bed next to Macy as they shared the lukewarm glass of water she'd retrieved from the faucet in the kitchen.

"Right?" was Macy's laughing response as she cuddled up next to Ashlee and put her head on her lover's shoulder until the glass was passed back to her. Then it was Ashlee's turn to rest her head on Macy's shoulder until the glass was handed back to her empty. She placed it on the bookshelf next to their bed that also served as something of a bedside table. In the second it took for her to do that Macy curled up on the bed and closed her eyes letting Ashlee know she was ready for sleep.

Ashlee couldn't protest even though she wanted to. One quick glance at the clock they had luckily remembered to plug in and set let her know that it was almost half past one and thus past their self appointed bedtime. Still, it was with a fair share of reluctance that Ashlee cuddled up next to Macy's soft warm body and wrapped her arms around her before placing a soft kiss on the back of Macy's head and said "Goodnight."

"Night, baby," came Macy's sleepy response and then they both went silent as sleep quickly overtook them.

If either of them was worried that Ashlee's mother would end up being right about how living together was going to be tougher than they both had imagined it definitely didn't affect their sleeping in anyway as both them slept straight through the night. Ashlee didn't even wakeup when the alarm went off to let Macy know it was time to get up. She also wasn't awakened by her lover taking a shower or getting dressed or cursing herself for dropping a cereal bowl on the floor. In fact, if Macy hadn't awakened her with a kiss before walking to work Ashlee probably wouldn't have got out of bed for hours.

"Wake up, sleepy head," Macy had said sweetly as Ashlee grunted softly.

"What time is it?" Ashlee managed to say after one more kiss that helped quell her usual hatred of being awakened.

"Time for me to go to work and for you to get up," Macy said simply as she stroked her lover's hair in an absent minded, but loving fashion.

"Do you need a ride?" Ashlee said, the sleep still weighing heavily on her mind.

"Nope. I'm gonna walk. It's not that far. I walked there when my dad brought me up here for orientation. Really, it's like two blocks away. It's almost on campus, really."

"Well then why did you wake me?" Ashlee said grumpily, rubbing her eyes.

"Because you have practice in like an hour, grumpy and you didn't even budge when the alarm went off for me, so..."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"Alright," Ashlee said finally as if deciding she wasn't going to be a bitch about being awakened. Actually, this wasn't far from the truth. While she wasn't anti-morning she really did hate being awakened before she was ready. Of course, it wasn't so bad when it was Macy, but she still didn't like it all that much. Luckily Macy knew this about her and she was more than willing to let it slide just as she merely smiled when Ashlee sat up and kissed her before asking once more "Do you need a ride?"

"No, silly. I'm good. You just go eat something and get yourself some water. It's gonna be hot today, alright?"

"Yes mom," Ashlee said teasingly at the last comment.

"Shut up," Macy said with a smile before they kissed each other once more, "Love you, baby."

"Love you too, baby," Ashlee replied without pause.

"See you in about six, seven hours," Macy said and then she kissed Ashlee one last time before hopping up and running to the door after noticing that time was getting short. Still she managed to remember to yell "Love you!" on more time then slamming the door behind her before Ashlee could even try to respond. Ashlee didn't really mind. She just got up and made herself a small breakfast, took a quick shower, got dressed and headed off into her day.

It was a very uneventful day. Practice was nothing special and wasn't even really a practice for her. Basically she and the other freshman just ran drills while the upper classman did slightly more serious work. Ashlee was a bit surprised, but not too much. It was just that for some reason she'd expected a little more. She didn't really mind though. After a summer of relative inactivity when it came to sports an afternoon of basic drills were probably just what she needed.

Another thing that surprised her was the sheer abundance of freshman on the team. Of course that really shouldn't have been a surprise at all. She'd been told what seemed like ages ago that the school's soccer program was in a rebuilding year thanks to a combination of a new coaching staff, a relatively poor record over the last few years and the fact that the last years starting squad had been almost entirely made up of seniors who were now long gone. Honestly, that was half the reason she'd even received a scholarship. Of course, she was also a pretty good midfielder, but she was humble enough to admit that if the team hadn't been in bad shape she likely would've been going to school at the state college not far from her parent's home.

Of course, Ashlee was far too busy just trying to keep her head into what she was doing to worry about of that nonsense too much. Apparently she did a pretty good job of it too, because the coach, a woman who honestly didn't look she'd been out of school too long herself, actually singled her out in a very positive fashion more than once even though Ashlee couldn't see why. Not that Ashlee minded. Praise was praise and if her dribbling skills could get her some actual playing time instead of having to ride the bench waiting for an injury or for a chance to give someone a break for a couple minutes that was great. Playing was better than watching and waiting any day.

Sadly, by the end of practice she quickly realized that her fate as a benchwarmer was pretty much sealed as midfielder was just about the only position filled by veteran players with any real talent besides goalie and striker. Still, there was always next year. She could wait. Well, at least as long she got some playing time she could. Either way she was a team player and she wanted the coaches to know she was ready if the team needed her whenever that might be.

Regardless of all that practice turned out to be a pretty good experience if only because it was nice to finally start meeting some new people. Even if she was a relatively shy person who didn't really try to make new friends too often it was still nice to talk with new people and get a feel for the girls she'd be playing with and just talk for talking's sake. Sure, she didn't really make any friends, but a couple of the girls seemed cool if a bit aloof. It didn't matter though. She wasn't looking to hang out with anyone that night, so she could wait them out. As far as she was concerned her night was already planned out as more of the same from the previous night minus the majority of unpacking.

She was right, of course. That evening turned out to be just as wonderful as the previous one as did the night after that and, somehow, every night that week as Ashlee and Macy took full advantage of their new found freedom by making love on every bit of furniture they had in every room of their apartment whenever they happened to be together for more than five minutes at a time. Until classes started this condition was met often enough that by the end of the week they were both starting to notice that the neighbors seemed to be giving them funny looks whenever they met them in the hall or the parking lot. After that they made a small effort to keep the volume down and moved the bed away from the wall that was shared with the apartment next door, but they didn't even think of putting a check on their lust for each other. At least they didn't until classes started and the need for sleep helped them regulate their urges enough to keep them from losing their jobs, Ashlee's place on the team and preventing them both from flunking out their first week.

It was hardly easy at first, but after Macy's boss yelled at her for being late for work the third day in a row and, coincidentally on the very same day, Ashlee's coach chewed her out for, as the coach had so gently put it, "Playing like a retarded monkey," they both managed to get themselves under control and settled for a more sated, but still satisfyingly active sex life that no longer resulted in them staying up until one, two, three or four in the morning when they both had to be up at the crack of dawn to work, go to class or practice or even to just chill out with some friends after all that was said and done without passing out from exhaustion once they both started to make some.

And make friends they did and quite fast really. This actually took Ashlee a bit off guard. Not because she didn't want to make friends or anything, but, honestly, she'd never really had a whole bunch of them. There were only two people in her life post middle school that she'd ever really been comfortable calling the F word and she'd ended up being more than friends than both of them. Beyond that everyone else she'd hung out with in high school had really been more friends of friends than anything else. Not because she didn't like them or anything, but more because it was just that to her friends weren't just people you hung out with every once in awhile just for the heck of it. No, friends were people you could trust with your deepest, darkest secrets, people who got you and understood you without judging and in her life only two people had ever really fit that definition.

Now that she was in school however things had apparently changed. Why she had no idea, but as she became acclimated to her new environment she somehow seemed to be collecting a fairly large, by her standards at least, group of friends. Macy, for her part, was doing much the same until they both suddenly found themselves with relatively full social lives for the first time in either of their lives.

For Macy her friends mostly came from her classes and her job and, oddly, enough, a lot of them were guys. Well, that wasn't too odd because she'd always had a few guy friends, but now she seemed to be collecting them at record pace. Not that that was saying much because she'd never been all that social, but still Ashlee quickly learned to not be shocked by the sight of her girlfriend hanging out with some random dudes smoking a joint and watching TV when she came home from soccer practice or work.

Not all of them lasted that long after they figured out that Macy and Ashlee were more than just roommates. Even some of the braver souls who weren't put off by that eventually vanished when they realized that when Ashlee and Macy said that they were gay they weren't bluffing and therefore any hope of a threesome happening was pretty much quashed. Eventually Macy was left with a small harem of gay male friends and a handful of straight guys who didn't give a shit and just thought she was cool enough to spend time with despite the fact that there was no chance of getting into her panties.

For Ashlee, however, her friends came mainly in the form of girls from the soccer team because, honestly, during the season those were the people she was around the most. She also had a lot in common with them and not just because they all played soccer. In fact, it went a hell of a lot deeper than that in a way that would eventually lead her into trouble. Why? Well, honestly, it was because a lot of them were into girls.

Well, maybe that's over stating it a bit. There were after all plenty of girls on the team who were straight and even some of the ones who were bisexual weren't exactly all that interested in girls beyond the occasional fling (or so Ashlee gathered both from observing them and the rumor mill once she started getting to know everyone). Still, in the case of their schools team the old stereotype of the lesbian athlete proved to be at least partially true and Ashlee seemed to have a knack for picking them out of the crowd. Well, actually it would be more accurate to say that she made it easy for them to pick her out of the crowd because she just wasn't that good at staying in the closest.

Of course, to be honest, it wasn't like she was really trying. Sure, she wasn't exactly keen on her parents finding out for various reasons, but her parents were far, far away and completely out of the loop. As for everyone else, she didn't really care. She had no intention of going out of her way to tell everyone, but if they figured it out or asked her directly Ashlee wasn't going to deny the fact that she was gay.

Still, it was a bit of a shock when the first of her teammates bluntly asked her one day while they were stretching "Is that chick who picked you up the other day like your girlfriend or something?" Ashlee still answered in the affirmative and was happy to receive a "You lucky bitch," in return even though another girl who had over heard them looked a good deal less impressed by that particular bit of information. She was in the minority, however, and by the end of the day she and Macy had been invited to hang out with a few of the more friendly girls on the team and Ashlee had accepted gladly even though Macy was busy trying to write her first paper on some evil sounding science nonsense.

All in all, they were pretty cool and eventually even Macy found that she got along with them and that for the most part the feeling was mutual. Still, they were definitely more Ashlee's friends than Macy's if only because Macy, though she had actually been on the high school team with Ashlee, had never been that interested in soccer while Ashlee's "Jock" friends, as Macy called them with a mix of affection and bewilderment regarding all things sports related, obviously were. Ashlee simply loved it. That was the real reason Ashlee clicked with them so much. Sure, the weed was nice and they were fun to just hang out with after practice when she had no classes or didn't have to work, but it was also nice to have someone to talk to about her "jock stuff" for once.

If either of them were worried about Ashlee's mother's warning they didn't let it show. In fact, just about the only time they ever mentioned was as a joke when they realized just how they were to be together. Sure they did have a few small fights over stupid things like what the toilet paper should roll and whose turn it was to do dishes, but they always got through it with relative ease. No, as far as they both were concerned after only a few weeks of living together as friends and lovers nothing could have possibly been better and Ashlee's mother couldn't have been more wrong. Sadly, they were mistaken. At least they were in a way. Ashlee's mother would indeed be wrong in a way, but only because the complications that began to arise in Ashlee and Macy's relationship were of a sort she never would have allowed herself to imagine.

She wasn't the only one as even Ashlee didn't notice what she was heading for until it was too late. Even when she did allow herself a glimpse of what was really going on in her own mind she managed to deny it to herself just long enough to allow the situation to fall out of her control. Her only excuse was the fact that she had honestly hoped she was as strong as Macy thought she was, but, sadly, she'd fallen far short of her lover's expectations and no silly rationalize would be able to save her from that hard truth.

Still, in Ashlee's defense, it had started out so innocently. It was all just a direct result of Ashlee's tendency to narrow her friendships to those she felt most drawn to rearing it's ugly head again. Not that she stopped hanging out with her teammates or anything, but when Carrie entered the picture, thanks to a chance encounter at one of her other friends apartment, Ashlee couldn't help but find herself being drawn to her like a moth to a flame. There was just something about her that made Ashlee want to know her, to be with her and to stay in her presence as much as possible. Of course, this wasn't really that amazing to anyone who knew Carrie. She was quite simply an absolutely alluring personality. She was smart, she was funny and absolutely and totally ravishing and Ashlee had a crush on her the moment she first laid eyes on her and she knew it and that scared the crap out of her.

Still, how could she not? Carrie really was absolutely beautiful. From her long black hair, her large, beautiful dark eyes to her wonderfully light brown skin and that perfect body that just seemed to be built for running (which was what she did. She was the star of schools track team in long distance running). Her perfect oval of a face with a lovely, perfectly small, but not too small nose above those lips that were full without being too full. Even her tattoos were perfect from the little broken heart just over her left breast, the rainbow of stars on her tummy to the star on her lower back and the tiny blue one on her wrist. Sure, none of them were really all that unique, but on her they were just perfect as were her many piercings on her ears, eyebrow, lip and bellybutton. All of it just made the natural beauty she was already blessed with just seem that much more intriguing.

In short, physically she was nothing short of a goddess as far as Ashlee was concerned. She was hardly alone in this opinion. Even Macy had commented on how beautiful she was when she'd met her on one of the rare nights they were both able to go out together without either having to worry about waking up early the next day. Ashlee had actually gotten a little pissed at that even though she knew she was being hypocrite. Still, that knowledge hadn't stopped her from being a bit of bitch and starting a fight over it.

Luckily she was drunk at the time, so she was able to make use of that classic excuse the next day when she apologized still feeling like a hypocritical bitch even though Macy just laughed it all off as no big deal. Ashlee did nothing to cure her lover of this delusion even though a part of her felt terrible about the whole thing. Still, she pretended that nothing was wrong and instead let Macy make love to her sweetly until the guilt and other dark feelings she didn't quite understand faded away into bliss.

Sadly, it hadn't lasted and by the end of the first month of their first semester in college Ashlee was already beginning to feel herself beginning to unravel as she continued to catch herself thinking about Carrie in a less than pure manner. The guilt, however, did nothing to stop Ashlee from harboring something of schoolgirl crush on the older, beautiful girl. Ashlee even started finding excuses to hang out with Carrie alone even though she didn't need to. Macy really didn't care because she trusted Ashlee fully and truly. Still Ashlee often felt compelled to leave Carrie's name out of it when telling Macy of her plans.