Ashlee's Weakness

"I'll try."

"Don't try. Just don't do it."

"Even if they really deserve it?"

"Especially if they really deserve it."

"Oh, you're such a taskmaster. Fuck, I gotta go. I need to get ready. Ugh, just promise me you'll have fun while I'm working so at least one of us won't be going absolutely crazy."

"I promise, baby. I'll have a fucking blast and think of you the whole time."

"You're a saint. I love you."

"I love you too," Ashlee said and ended the call feeling a bit shitty for a moment as she thought of Macy working all those hours before her train of thought was wrecked by Carrie.

"Ah, so sweet," Carrie said and then laughed before adding "You guys are so fucking cute."

"Whatever," Ashlee said, actually blushing a little thanks to Carrie's mocking tone.

"Oh, quit blushing," Carrie said noticing as she dared a glance at Ashlee while driving down the busy highway. "I was being serious. It's cute how you guys still say I love you and all that stuff. My girl hasn't said she loved me for months now. Well, not unless you count when I make her come. I know I don't."

"You're such a slut." Ashlee said while smiling weakly.

"How does that make me a slut? She's my girlfriend. I'm supposed to make her come. It's like my job."

"Your job?"

"Well, not my job. You know what I meant. I love her and blah blah blah. Anyway, enough of that. So... you now find yourself with an evening free of class, practice and girlfriend. Whatever shall you do?"

"Hmmm, that's a good question..." Ashlee said instantly falling in line with Carrie knowing full well what was coming next.

"It is. It totally is," Carrie said and then paused before adding "And she even told you had to have fun and here I am the funnest fucking person you know..."

"Oh, shut up. Just say it already."

"Say what?"

"Say 'Let's get drunk!' or whatever 'cause you know I'll totally say yes."

"Hmmm, you'll say yes to whatever I say, huh?" Carrie said as a very dangerous smile appeared on her face. It was a smile that spoke volumes about what Carrie and the way her mind worked as did the playful little touch she placed on Ashlee's arm as she spoke. Ashlee couldn't help but shiver a little, but with thoughts of Macy still fresh in her mind she managed to defuse the situation with a quick clearing of her throat before adding in a soft, somewhat controlled but still nervous little voice "See, that's why I called you a slut," and received another wicked smile in return before Carrie, unfazed by the rebuff of her teasing advances, shifted gears as she asked "Seriously, you wanna like hangout or go out or whatever?"

Ashlee's answer was of course a resounding yes to all of it. It may have been the middle of the week and she may have had a long practice the next two days in a row and then a game on Friday with a wonderful mixture of class and work and another game before the weekend was over thrown in just to make it interesting, but damn it, she really wanted to have fun. Besides, she knew Carrie was more of a smoker than a drinker, so hangovers weren't exactly a big worry until Carrie finally formulated a plan that she just wouldn't let Ashlee say no to: she wanted to go to the gay bar.

"Oh, come on," Ashlee had said even though she could tell by the look in Carrie's eyes that she didn't have a chance in hell of changing her mind. Honestly, she kind of knew that the moment the words gay bar came out of Carrie's mouth. It had actually been a bit of an obsession with Carrie since she found out a week or so before that Ashlee had never been to one. According to her it was something that everyone had to do at least once.

"Oh, come on yourself. You know you wanna. Girl, it'll be fun and they'll totally let you drink and everything. Shit, Tina should be working tonight and she just loves you cute little athletic types. Seriously, just give her a smile and chances are you won't even have to pay. Well, unless her girlfriend is about then you'll have to pay, but still, she won't even card you. Swear. C'mon! Say yes, damn you!"

"Oh my god," Ashlee had said after about ten minutes of that. "Fine, but if I can't even get a drink we're totally leaving."

"Don't worry about that. Tina loves me. Besides, we'll totally smoke up before we leave just in case. Hell, it's not like they care. Teddy might even get you high himself if he's around. If he is though just remember you're twenty-one. Anyway, yay! We're gonna pop your gay bar cherry! Be excited!"

After that Carrie came to the conclusion that it would be best if they got a little dressed up for their excursion. Ashlee suggested that Carrie get ready while she went home showered and dressed into something more socially acceptable than a sweaty t-shirt, running shorts and track shoes. Carrie nixed that idea almost instantly saying "Fuck that. Why don't you just hang here and smoke a bowl while I hop in the shower and get dressed quick and then we'll both go to your place and you can do the same."

"But it'd be so much quicker if I..." Ashlee started to retort.

"Yeah, yeah. Who's in a hurry? C'mon. Indulge me. Besides, no offense, but you wouldn't know sexy if it bit you in your cute little butt."

"Excuse me?"

"Hush, girl, you got cute down, but not sexy. Don't argue with me."

"But it doesn't matter..."

"I said don't argue with me. You should listen to your elders. It's a sign of respect."

"Whatever, you're like three years older than me."

"I said hush! Seriously though, c'mon. Just chill here for like twenty minutes and I'll take a quick shower and throw on what I was going to wear tonight anyway. Besides, we have time. It isn't even dark yet. We have time. Oh, and let's go get your car. My ride is about out of gas and it's been due an oil change for like a week. Last thing I need is to be walking home from the fucking bar because my P.O.S. decided to stop working while we were busy getting drunk. "

Ashlee knew at that point that the argument was lost. She also knew she'd be waiting a lot longer than twenty minutes, so she not only smoked a bowl, but she smoked two and then spent the rest of her time waiting looking through Carrie's lover's bookshelf. She was both impressed and surprised by what she saw there and was going to say something about all of the literary goodness on display, but the thought was shocked out of her mind when Carrie appeared beside her dressed in nothing but a towel on her head as she continued to dry herself with another towel.

"Find anything interesting?" Carrie asked as she dried her arm and stood next to Ashlee fully nude. Ashlee didn't hear a word of it. Instead she found herself desperately trying to drink in every inch of Carrie's toned and perfectly tanned body noting the cute constellation of rainbow stars and the lovely, little navel pierced so perfectly with a simple silver barbell. She even managed to memorize the curves of Carrie's small, but perfect breasts before Carrie cleared her throat and said teasingly "I meant on the bookshelf."

"Oh, umm... Sorry, I... I...," Ashlee started to say as she once again blushed as she averted her eyes only to hear Carrie laugh lightly beside her.

"You're so fucking silly. Look, I'll go get dressed and then we'll head out to your apartment. I'll just borrow some of your make up at your place. Cool?"

"Yeah... yeah, cool," was all Ashlee could think of to say as she braved looking in Carrie's eyes and saw that the smile was still there and felt even sillier. Luckily, that feeling of silliness did nothing to stop her from catching another peak at Carrie as Carrie slowly exited the room. By the time Carrie popped back in to the room ten minutes later Ashlee had managed to regain some semblance of dignity and grace. Or she did until she let her eyes take in Carrie's form now dressed simply, but sexily in tight, well worn and low cut blue jeans and a tight black t-shirt with a rainbow on the front and the words "I know what girls like" over that. If it hadn't been for the fact that it was all just tight enough to leave nothing to the imagination it would have looked like nothing special. With Carrie's body, however, even that seemingly casual ensemble was nothing short of an invitation to sex.

"I'll take that as compliment," Carrie said smiling her mischievous smile yet again as she momentarily struck a playful pose for Ashlee letting Ashlee know that she'd once again been caught staring. Of course, it also let her know that Carrie didn't mind one little bit. Still, it still took a good bit of effort for Ashlee to sputter out her compliments without blushing too much before Carrie thanked her and then finished the exchange by saying "Ready?"

After that they were off to get Ashlee's car and then let Ashlee get dressed in what Ashlee had imagined to be a fairly quick succession of events. Little did she know how paranoid Carrie truly was about her girlfriend finding her car and instead of just parking her Saab in the coffee shop parking lot she insisted on driving out to the middle of nowhere and leaving her car in the parking lot of some grocery store Ashlee had never even heard of before. "Trust me, if you knew my girl like I do you'd totally understand," Carrie had explained upon joining Ashlee in her Jetta and noticing the weird look on her face. Ashlee merely shook her head before heading to her own apartment to take her shower and begin the arduous search for the perfect sexy, but not too sexy outfit for her first trip to a bar.

By the time they arrived at the bar almost two hours later Ashlee's stomach was simply full of butterflies. She hated to admit it, but she was honestly scared about going to the bar with Carrie. Neither because it was a gay bar of course nor because she was going with Carrie though there was a part of her that was definitely anxious about that for multiple reasons. No, the reason she was nervous was because she'd honestly never been in a bar before and, frankly, she had some naïve notions about what went down in one. She wasn't sure if she would be walking into living, breathing meat market of drunken, anonymous sex or a savage bar fight that would engulf the entire place into an orgy of violence but a small, very loud, very outspoken part of her psyche was absolutely certain that it would definitely be one, the other or possibly a combination of both.

Luckily upon following Carrie into the dimly lit environment and hearing nothing but the sound of loud, drunken laughter emanating from a single source ( a very drunk and very effeminate man by the sound of his voice) and some relatively soft and soothing music pumping to a light, but still somewhat powerful beat the butterflies almost instantly disappeared. When they rounded the corner to see a small bar with a couple of older dykes chatting it up over some Pabst Blue Ribbon, and some scattered sparsely occupied tables of mostly gay men just sitting and drinking in a relaxed manner with big grins tattooed on their faces Ashlee suddenly found herself completely unconcerned about her surroundings.

In fact, as she followed Carrie to the bar she actually felt an odd sense of comfort building inside of her as she started to tune into the relaxed vibe of the place. By the time she found herself being introduced to a beautiful tall and thin butch with a cute red Mohawk and several intriguing piercings whom she was informed was her supposed benefactor Tina she was no longer worried in the least. Even when Tina made it instantly clear that she was going to flirt with Ashlee every chance she got by immediately telling Ashlee how pretty she was as she held Ashlee's hand just a bit longer than was required for a polite hand shake Ashlee felt more flattered then disconcerted.

Even when Tina replied with the simple, but oddly intriguing "I envy her," when Ashlee informed her that she was in relationship in response to Tina asking if she was single Ashlee couldn't help but smile. She was almost disappointed when Tina switched from flirty to friendly, but business like as she asked them what they wanted to drink and then handed over two coronas with lime. This train of thought was then disrupted when Carrie slapped Ashlee's hand away from her pocket as Carrie handed Tina her credit card while saying to Ashlee "Don't worry about it. I'm a trust fund kid and I assure you my grandmother would want me to spend her hard earned money on getting you drunk. She was just that kind of lady." Tina never once even mentioned the word ID.

After that they both sat down and made conversation for a bit until one of the dykes at the bar seemed to notice Carrie suddenly as she shouted "Holy fucking Jesus, look who's here!" as she walked briskly, but drunkenly even though it was still just a little past eight and the bar had only been open for about an hour towards Carrie before leaning down to give Carrie a much more than friendly kiss which Carrie gladly returned before gently pushing her drunk acquaintance away and introducing her to Ashlee who was still struggling to keep the jealousy she knew she shouldn't have been feeling in check. It was quite a fight, but she managed to muddle through it. Still, she did have to ask for the woman's name one more time before she said hi to C.J. and shook her offered hand before she was forced to sit through five minutes of drunken flirting from C.J. until Carrie took mercy on her and told C.J. that it was nice catching up which C.J. correctly interpreted as "Fuck off, you drunk ass third wheel," and then politely made her exit after one more kiss and a promise from Carrie that she would definitely call her that Friday.

"What was that all about?" Ashlee asked after the women sauntered back over to the bar where she tried to kiss one of the other women only to find herself being bitterly rebuffed.

"C.J.? Oh, we just hooked up a couple of weeks ago when my girl was out of town doing her usual bullshit. She's really quite sweet once you get to know her. A little gruff and frankly I'm not big on butch chicks, but whatever. It was just fun, you know? Nothing serious," Carrie said nonchalantly before taking another sip of her beer.

"Oh," was all Ashlee could manage to say even though she was as always more than a little intrigued by the way Carrie just passed off cheating on her girlfriend like it was nothing more serious than going bowling with her buddies. No matter how many times Ashlee witnessed this behavior it was still both shocking and very alluring at the same time. Even as their conversation returned to more mundane topics Ashlee still found herself contemplating her friends nonchalant approach to casual sex much more intently then she knew she had any right to until Carrie once again took the conversation done a more interesting path then what Ashlee thought of the music currently blasting out of the speaker next to their chosen table.

"So what do you think of Tina?" Carrie asked seemingly out of nowhere twenty minutes later after returning from the bar with another round of beer.

"What do you mean?" Ashlee found herself asking. It was an authentic query. She would have hated to admit it but with the weed she'd been smoking earlier which had been excellent and the fact that she was both tired and a definite lightweight when it came to alcohol she was already pretty good and buzzed.

"I mean would you fuck her," Carrie said calmly, but an odd little smirk that told Ashlee she was teasing her, but which Ashlee ignored because, honestly, the first thing that had come to her mind at the mention of Tina was whether or not she'd been reading her right when she thought she was flirting with her and found herself kind of hoping that she was even though she really couldn't justify why she even cared. Consequently it was hardly amazing that when Ashlee finally managed to spit out a response by saying "Of course not. I'm in a relationship," it wasn't with a good deal of conviction.

"Well, I didn't ask you if you wanted to go out with her. I asked if you would have sex with her," Carrie said and then paused to take a sip of her beer before concluding by adding "Completely different."

"Oh," was again all Ashlee could come up with in response as she sat there drinking her beer noticeably faster than Carrie. In part it was just some residual nervousness over the fact that she was doing something that definitely wouldn't look good to the power's that be at the school. After all, under age drinking by athletes, especially those on scholarship, wasn't exactly looked upon with high regard, but hell, she was already walking a dangerous line with all the pot she smoked, so whatever. It was a fragile defense that wasn't quite working on her at the moment because that was hardly all that was worrying her as Carrie took her silence as an invitation to continue talking about the difference between sex and relationships and, in fact, she did so for almost the entire time they were at the bar.

At first, it just made Ashlee nervous even though it was nothing she hadn't heard before. Macy had actual said similar things in the past. Honestly, Macy and Carries thoughts on the subject were pretty much identical with one very important difference: Carrie seemed to see nothing wrong with enjoying the benefits of both at the same time while Macy had made it clear that while she had no qualms about fucking just for the hell of it when she wasn't in a relationship when she was in something serious it just wasn't something she was into (Well, not quite. Ashlee and Macy had actually discussed threesomes in the past and even though they both found the idea intriguing they had so far done nothing to make the fantasy real).

Through Ashlee's first two beers Ashlee found herself (as was usual when Carrie started in on this her favorite subject) arguing Macy's case almost on reflex, but also because, despite her conflicted feelings at the time and her relative lack of experience, she really did believe that Macy had it right. Still by her third beer her spirited support of Macy's personal sexual philosophy was beginning to wane as Carrie pressed on.

"I mean," Carrie started after Ashlee had come back with another round, her fear of being busted having dissipated into nothingness as her buzz began to take hold, "If I find some chick attractive and she finds me attractive and neither of us are looking for anything serious or long term why shouldn't we? I mean, it's not like that's actually cheating."

"But how is that not..." Ashlee found herself saying for what felt like the hundredth time as the discussion continued despite the fact that they'd both covered all sides of the issue several times already and, has at happened almost every other time she'd tried this tack, she quickly found herself being cut across by Carrie almost as soon as the words left her lips.

"Because it's just sex. I mean, come on, Ash. You going to tell me if some really hot, really smart, really interesting, super sexy chick walked through the door right this second and came over here and started flirting with you just the right way, touching you in all those nice little spots that just get you wet and started whispering sweet nothings in your ear and made it clear that all she wanted was hot, no strings attached sex with you right here, right now you'd say no just because you have a girlfriend?"

"Well, yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. Cheating's cheating. It doesn't matter if it's just fucking, if there are no strings attached or whatever. All that matters is the fact that Macy wouldn't do it to me, so I wouldn't do it to her."

"But if she would you would?"

"Well, yeah... I mean, I don't know. I guess I would, but... but it doesn't matter 'cause she wouldn't and I won't either. It's a moot point."

"Interesting," was all Carrie said and then their conversation was interrupted before Ashlee could ask what exactly was so interesting about what she'd just said by yet another friend of Carrie's coming over and saying hello. This friend was another fairly butch and slightly older woman, but much cuter and more subdued than Carrie's other friend. Sadly, she also stayed with them a good deal longer. Of course, why this was a bad thing Ashlee wouldn't let herself know, but it didn't matter. She was drunk enough not to care, but not so drunk that she couldn't take some effort to bury this feeling and play nice even though from the look on Carrie's face as she introduced her friend Rita to her told Ashlee that she might not have covered her feelings as well as she should have.