Bah Humbug

'Ok, if I stay, where do I sleep?'

'There's a spare bedroom you can use.'

She was still hesitant, her senses on high alert. She tried to read what his motives were from his face, but there was nothing she could tell from the way he was looking at her. She looked out of the window once more at the snow and made her mind up.

'OK, I don't have much choice do I?' She was still mad at him, but his gesture had thrown her off balance.

'Look, I'm sorry for what's happened.' he said, 'It's not what I intended. Let me show you the room first.'

She realised she was still holding her jeans in her hand and hurriedly pulled them on. She hoped his sweat shirt she was wearing had covered her knickers. She followed him as he opened a door in the kitchen which opened up into a small bedroom. It was basic, with a single bed, a small chest of drawers and a bicycle standing against the wall. It looked clean, and most importantly there was a lock on the door.

'Sorry, it's my bike. I told you I don't drive, so I ride a lot. I'll move it if you want.' She shook her head, sharing the room with a bike didn't worry her in the slightest. She had slept in many places worse than this. What she didn't understand was why he was so keen to please her. What was his game? Everyone had a game, but she couldn't work out what his was.

***

He knew he was overcompensating for what he had done. It wasn't his fault that it was snowing so hard. After all he had only meant to be kind. But, there was something about her that made him want to make it up to her. He shouldn't be inviting strangers into the house, but he couldn't bear the thought of her sleeping rough. When she had burst into the kitchen after waking up, her eyes had blazed with anger, yet that spark of emotion had drawn him to her.

'Sandy, I'm going to make some dinner, it's only pasta with a tomato sauce I made and defrosted, would you like some?'

Her stomach growled at the thought.

'Yeah, I would like that, thanks.'

He thought she must be hungry by the way her face lit up when he mentioned food.

'Ben, can I help with anything?' she asked.

'Thanks Sandy, can you get some plates out of the cupboard over there? And some knives and forks from the drawer above. I'm going to have a glass of wine, do you want one?' He sensed her hesitation. 'If you don't, that's fine, there's water in the fridge, if you prefer. Can you open that bottle of red over there and pour me a glass?' She opened it and looked around for a glass.

'In the bottom cupboard, right where you're standing.' He said. She bent down, and he caught himself looking as the jeans tightened across her bum. Her hair, now dry, was blonder than it had appeared when it was wet and she kept pushing it behind one ear, a gesture that somehow made her look even more vulnerable. He went back to reheating the sauce as he heard the sound of wine being poured into a glass.

***

She felt his eyes on her, even though her back was turned. She didn't mind, so long as it was only looking. She blushed a little as there had been times when she had slept with a man simply to get a meal and a warm bed for the night. She poured him a glass and thinking, what the hell, she poured herself a glass. She handed him the glass as he stirred the sauce, 'Cheers, Ben, thank you.'

He grinned at her, 'I am sorry, you know. I deserved what you said about making decisions for you without asking. I should have known better.' He clinked his glass against Sandy's and she wasn't able to stop herself smiling.

'Well, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gone off at you like I did. It wasn't fair, but I was scared.'

'Can we start again?' said Ben.

'Sure, I'm Sandy.'

'And I'm Ben, pleased to meet you Sandy.' He smiled and she liked the way it lit up his face.

Ben brought across the bowls of pasta and sauce, serving portions for both of them. Sandy was wolfing it down, and he felt a pang of conscience as he realised how hungry she must be. She looked up and said with her mouth half full, 'S'great, thanks. Tastes wonderful.'

He smiled, 'There's plenty more left. Help yourself.' She piled a second helping onto her plate while Ben refilled his glass of wine and offered one to Sandy. She nodded, and he poured some into her glass. She held her hand out to stop him, 'S'enough, thanks.'

She looked around, noticing something for the first time, 'You haven't got any Christmas stuff up.'

'It's because I hate Christmas.'

Sandy stopped, her fork halfway to her mouth, 'You hate Christmas? How can anyone hate Christmas?'

He shrugged his shoulders, 'Well I do. It's an excuse for businesses to persuade you to buy a whole load of stuff you don't want or need. People end up getting into debt for the rest of the year to pay for it all. The Samaritans take more calls at Christmas than at any other time of the year because families end up fighting with each other when they get on each other's nerves. Plus, the whole thing starts about September so you can't go into a shop between then and Christmas without hearing Slade singing Merry bloody Xmas Everybody.'

Sandy looked stunned. 'Wow, didn't you enjoy Christmas as a kid?'

Ben frowned, 'No, I grew up in an orphanage. It was a hateful place. Christmas was the worst time.'

She felt guilty, 'I'm sorry, it couldn't have been much fun then.'

'No it wasn't. So, I never celebrate Christmas, too many bad memories.' He shivered a little as he remembered how miserable he had been at this time of the year in the orphanage.

Sandy smiled at him, 'Still, it's a real white Christmas this year.' He felt his heart jump a little at how her eyes sparkled when she smiled. He watched as she took another helping before eventually sitting back and burping loudly. Ben laughed and Sandy went bright red, covering her mouth with her hand.

'I'm so sorry. It was so good.'

'Don't worry, in some cultures, that's a compliment.'

'Ben, thanks for the meal and everything, but do you think I can get some sleep. I feel so tired.'

'Sure, no problem. I hope you get some rest.'

She stood up and started to walk towards her room. She stopped, came back and gave him a peck on the cheek, 'Thanks, Ben, you've been great.'

She giggled then ran back to the room, closing the door behind her. Ben sat there for a while, staring at the door and wondering why that little peck on the cheek made him feel so good. He finished his glass of wine, stacked the dishes in the dishwasher before going to his bedroom. He found it difficult to sleep, his mind going over what had happened, and why he had acted as he did. He finally decided he had done the right thing, falling asleep with a smile on his face.

Something woke him, and he lay there for a moment trying to work out what it was. His mouth was dry, so he got up to fetch a glass of water from the kitchen. He had filled the glass when he thought he heard a noise, like someone sighing in the distance. He stood listening for a moment, but heard nothing. it must have been the wind outside, he thought. He was heading back to bed when he heard it again. This time it seemed to be coming from Sandy's room. He tiptoed across, and despite feeling a little guilty put his ear to the door. He could clearly hear the sound of crying. He tapped on the door, 'Sandy? Are you OK?'

The noise stopped, then restarted. Ben tapped on the door again, 'Are you OK?'

'I'm OK, please go away.'

He shrugged, short of breaking down the door there was little more he could do. He walked back to his room. Looking back at Sandy's door, he felt something lurch in his chest as he heard the crying start once more. He lay in his bed, wondering about how someone like Sandy ended up living so close to the edge. He thanked his lucky stars that he had survived his childhood, but he knew how lucky he had been. If things hadn't gone his way, it might have been him out there today. He finally fell asleep thinking about that kiss on the cheek.

His alarm woke him up at seven o'clock as usual. Sometimes he went for a run or a ride on the bike before making breakfast and getting started on his work. One look out of the window convinced him that wasn't going to happen today. By the depth of snow on the bushes outside, it must have snowed even heavier during the night. Ben shivered just looking at the flurries being whipped about by the wind, and the clouds looked heavy with more snow. There was no sign of Sandy as he walked into the kitchen and he assumed she must still be asleep. It was only when he had finished making some tea that he noticed the piece of paper on the table. He picked it up, his heart sinking as he read what was written there.

Ben, thank you for last night. It was kind of you to take me in and to give me some food and a place to sleep. I can't thank you enough. I have to get going though, so thank you again and I hope you find out one day that Christmas isn't all bad. You're a lovely guy, love Sandy.

Ben looked but couldn't see Sandy's plastic box and he realised she had already left. He looked through the window to see the snow had started to fall again. It was coming down in big fat flakes and Ben knew it would be freezing outside. How could she have gone out in weather like this with only a thin coat and her hoodie? He looked out of the front door and saw fresh footprints in the snow leading up to the gate, then turning left up the lane. He went back inside, sat down and picked up his tea. What could he do? She had made her own choice. It wasn't anything to do with him anymore. He took a sip of the tea, then swore to himself and looked around for his coat.

***

Sandy hadn't been able to get back to sleep after she heard Ben knock on her door. She was grateful for his kindness. She hadn't had a meal like that for ages, and to sleep in a proper bed by herself had been wonderful. But she knew this couldn't last. She needed to get back on the road again, try to make some money from people who might feel sorry for her at Christmas and buy some of her stuff. She got dressed and crept out into the kitchen, picked up her box and was about to leave when she thought she couldn't just disappear like this. Ben had been too kind for that. She found a piece of paper, hastily writing a thank you note. She thought her mother would be pleased about that at least if about nothing else she did these days.

She slipped on her anorak and opened the front door as quietly as possible. By the light of a solitary street light she saw it had stopped snowing, but it lay deep on the garden path. She hesitated as she looked out, but then squared her shoulders, closed the door behind her and started down the path. She would get a bus back to the shelter, then set out to try her luck in another patch. She started to shiver as the cold cut through her thin coat and her shoes were soaked by the time she got halfway up the lane. She looked back once, but even the street light outside Ben's house had disappeared in the snow.

She had to keep moving to keep warm, so she plodded on, the box growing heavier in her hands, which were already shaking with the cold. She reached the end of the lane and turned left to where she remembered there were some shops. She would surely find a cafe to sit in with a cup of tea to warm up. She found the cafe in the middle of the row of shops, but there was no sign of life inside. It surely wouldn't be long before the cafe opened, she thought, as she sat down in the doorway to wait.

***

Ben plodded up the lane, pulling his collar up to keep the snow from trickling down his neck. You're barking mad, he told himself. She's long gone, probably sitting on a warm bus right now. He half thought about turning around, but something made him keep going. It was eerie walking in the snow. There were the tyre tracks of one or two cars in the road, but there was no-one else about. There was a spectral quality to the light as it reflected off the snow, softening and distorting the edges of everything it covered. The snow also seemed to deaden sound, and it was eerily quiet as Ben walked further up the lane. Sandy's footprints were clear enough in front of him, and he would keep going until he couldn't see them anymore.

He got to the end of the lane, following the tracks which seemed to lead to the small parade of shops. Even here there was no sign of life. Ben wondered if this was what life after humans would look like. He followed the footprints across the road towards a cafe in the middle of the row of shops. The snow was falling heavier now, but he thought he could see something in the doorway of the cafe. There were no lights on inside and he guessed the owners had taken one look out of the window, then decided to have an early Christmas. He began to run the last few steps as he saw a bright blue box in the doorway, and Ben's stomach dropped as he recognised Sandy's anorak.

Ben stumbled as he reached her, almost falling on top of her. She was hunched over with her head on her chest and her arms wrapped around her knees. Calling her name, he shook her shoulder, but she didn't respond. He saw her eyelids flutter as he tried again, but that was all. Her hand felt like ice when he touched it. He knew he had to get her warmed up, so he took off his coat, wrapping it around her shoulders. She moaned softly as he did, opening her eyes briefly, but not seeming to recognise him. He took off his hat and stuck it on her head before kicking the box out of his way. He would come back for it, or pay for the whole thing if it came to that. She felt as light as a feather in his arms as he picked her up. He retraced his steps, slipping a couple of times in the deepening snow. He stopped to wrap his coat around her as tightly as he could before carrying on. Without his coat and hat he began to shiver as he tried to walk as fast as he dared. He was shivering by the time he got to the front door and in fumbling for his keys he almost dropped her. She opened her eyes, smiled as she looked up at him, then closed her eyes again.

Ben carried her through to the bedroom before taking off the coat and hat which were now wet through. Her hands were still icy cold when he felt them. He rubbed them between his hands, but he soon realised that would do little to help as he was still shivering himself. He knew he would have to get rid of all her clothes which had been soaked by the snow before she could warm up. He hesitated for a moment. He was going to have to take everything off, but the situation overrode any concerns about modesty.

Pulling her upright he lifted the hoodie up and over her head. She was wearing a t-shirt underneath which was also wet through, so he pulled that off as well. He thought she would be wearing a bra but as he removed the t-shirt he was surprised to see her small puffy breasts appear. He stopped, slightly embarrassed, but this was no time to be prudish. Throwing the duvet over her, he ran to his room grabbing a pair of his pyjamas and a couple of thick sweaters. By the time he got back she had begun to shiver, which he thought he had read somewhere was a good sign, the body beginning to warm up.

With a little struggle he got his pyjama top on her and managed to pull a sweater over the top. Her jeans had to come off next, but they were so wet it was difficult to pull them down. He yanked hard, and they began to move when Sandy moaned, briefly opening her eyes before closing them again. He hoped he wasn't hurting her and tugged at the jeans one more time before they slid down to her knees. The jeans had caught on her knickers and they came down too. Ben looked up, almost falling over in shock. Nestling in her groin wax a small but unmistakable penis.

He stared at it, not quite believing his eyes. For a split second he wondered if it was real, then realised how stupid that was. Sandy moaned again and seemed to be coming round, so he quickly wrapped the duvet over her before going to fetch his own, laying that on top of her as well. He touched her face which didn't seem quite as cold as it was before. He felt himself begin to shiver as the adrenaline rush left him.

He needed to get warm as well. His hands were shaking as he made some tea. Nothing in his life had felt as good as that cup of tea, he thought. He sat by the side of Sandy's bed and watched as she blinked once or twice before her eyes opened fully. He smiled down at her, 'Hi Sandy. How are you feeling?'

She frowned, 'Where am I? I'm so cold.'

'You went out in the snow and I think you have hypothermia. You were out for the count when I found you and brought you back.'

'Oh. I can't remember.' She tried to sit up but fell back on the pillow, 'I'm shivering.' Her teeth were chattering loudly.

'I'll get you something to warm you up.' He went back to the kitchen to make another cup of tea. 'Here, drink some of this. It will help warm you up.'

Ben held the mug for her as her hands were trembling so much. He wrapped her fingers around the mug to warm them up as she sipped the tea. She looked up at him as if recognising him for the first time. 'Ben, thank you.' 'You're welcome, Sandy. Drink the rest of the tea.'

She drank some more before laying back on the pillow again. 'I feel so tired and I have a headache.'

'It's OK, I'll be here.' He watched as her eyes closed again. She seemed to be shivering less and her hands felt less cold than before. Ben finished his tea, thinking about what he had just seen. It had been a shock to see that she had a penis that's for sure. He recalled that yesterday, he had been confused about whether she was a boy or a girl. He now realised he knew why. That's fine, he thought, if she wants to identify as female that's her choice. What he couldn't work out was the thrill he felt as he thought about her. He looked at his watch, it was already 11 o'clock so he knew he wasn't going to get any work done today.

***

Sandy slowly woke up. The duvet wrapped around her felt so comfortable. She didn't feel like moving at all. She opened one eye to see Ben sitting on a chair next to the bed reading a book. She didn't move as watched him. What was it he had said? She had gone out in the snow and he had brought her back. Try as she might she couldn't remember anything. As her mind began to clear she felt the duvet against her bare legs. That meant she didn't have her jeans on. Shit, he must have undressed her and put her to bed. She felt her face go red as she realised he must know about her. Fuck, she thought, she had to get away.

He looked up from his book, smiling as he saw she was awake, 'Hi Sandy, how are you feeling?'

'I have to go,' she said. 'Where are my clothes? I have to leave.'

He frowned, 'Look, I didn't go out this morning to stop you from freezing to death to allow you to try the same trick again.'

What was he saying? Freeze to death? She groaned as flashes of memory flickered into her mind. Walking up the lane, feeling colder and colder. Sitting in the doorway of the cafe waiting for them to open. Being carried back down the lane. Feeling so cold she couldn't even shiver. Drinking tea so hot it burnt her mouth. Oh shit. He must think she's a freak. Maybe he's called the police already to have her picked up. She had to get away. She struggled to sit up, but the weight of the duvets pulled her back done. 'I have to get going, thanks for everything, but I can't stay here.'

'Sandy,' he said firmly, 'You're not going anywhere today, even if I was going to let you, which I'm not. It snowed so hard there's no public transport and the lane is closed to cars. It's still snowing. The heaviest fall this century they're saying on the radio. So, you're not going anywhere.'

'Have you called the police?'

'Why on earth would I call the police? I was going to call the ambulance if you didn't wake up, but not the police.'

'Because you think I'm a freak.' She was close to panic. He laughed, and flushed with anger and fear she said, 'What's so fucking funny?'