Because I Still Love You Ch. 01

'Stop thinking, sweetie,' said Ken as he rose and pulled her close and placed a kiss on her forehead. 'I can practically feel you thinking.'

'I don't want to lose you,' said Lea, close to tears. 'I love you ...'

'No, Lea. Don't cry,' said Ken soothingly as he kissed her eyelids. 'You won't lose me. Nobody can love me as much as you do. Get some sleep, baby,' he said and allowed her to hold him close.

***

'I wanna rip this tux off you.'

Ken looked at his new wife as they claimed the first dance, surrounded by friends. 'Oh God! Did I marry a tigress?'

Dressed in a black Armani tux with a grey silk vest, grey silk tie and crisp white shirt, he looked more edible to Lea than the wedding cake. She was wearing a white silk dress with sheer beaded sleeves and a mini-train. She looked like a beautiful angel and Ken was damn proud of his precious wife. The wedding had gone off without a hitch. Ken's mother had been eager to get them to the altar when she came to know that Lea would have to live in New York. Although, she wasn't happy with the news, Ken had convinced his mother.

He nuzzled her temple. 'I cannot wait to go to our suite. I am going to take off this beautiful dress ... and whatever sweet things you are hiding beneath it ... and spend the rest of the night making you scream.'

'Is that a promise?'

'Damn straight it is.'

Lea felt a flutter in her belly, anticipation beginning to build. 'And how are you going to do that? How are you going to make me scream?'

Ken nuzzled deeper and replied, 'With my fingers, my lips, my tongue and,' he whispered into her ear, 'with my cock.'

Lea felt a familiar ache between her thighs. 'How much longer do we have to wait before it's polite to leave?'

Ken glanced around and chuckled, 'I think we should atleast stay for the first hour.'

'Shall I ask you something?' asked Lea as she looped her hands around his neck.

'Anything,' said Ken as he gently swayed to the music.

'Are you happy?' asked Lea, searching his face for an answer.

'I am so lucky to have you in my life.' He looked into her eyes, his voice rich and resonant. 'I can't tell you how happy I am right now. You are officially mine and I get to keep you for the rest of my life,' his voice possessive. 'Mine, now and forever.'

'I like the sound of that,' said Lea and drew Ken's lips down to hers.

And, forgetting about the music, forgetting that they were supposed to be dancing, forgetting about the friends who watched and the camera that flashed, they kissed long and slow and deep.

***

Her body tickling from anticipation, Lea kicked the door to the bridal suite shut with her foot, her arms around her husband's neck as he carried her over to the bed.

'Thank you,' he said as he set her on her feet. 'Thank you for making me the happiest guy on Earth.'

'I didn't do anything,' said Lea as she looked at him with all the love that she had for him. 'I am just one among the million girls who would have married you.'

He chuckled, reaching up to remove his tie. 'Nice try, but I was there, remember? There were no million girls drooling over me. You were the only one who wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.'

'I didn't want to, Mr. Harper,' she said as she sat on the bed and kicked off her heels. 'You were the one who wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.'

'I agree.' He sat on a nearby chair, drew off his shoes and socks. 'But I don't want to talk about that.'

'What would you like to talk about?'

'I don't want talk at all.' He stood, shucked his jacket and vest, and then walked toward her with slow steps, his shirt half-unbuttoned; the glimpse of sexy man chest it gave her enough to make her pulse skip. 'Right now I have more important things to do with my tongue.'

His words sent a shiver of anticipation down her spine. She stood, turning her back to him so that he could unzip her dress, the silk falling into a puddle around her ankles. She heard his quick intake of breath, felt a thrill to know he liked the lingerie she'd chosen to titillate him. She stepped out of the dress, and then turned to face him, her blood going hot as his gaze raked over her, taking in the white lace corset, panties, and garters she wore, a telltale bulge appearing behind his zipper.

'We will have to get you out of those panties, angel. I am going to need full access.' He reached behind her, slid his hands beneath the sheer fabric and over the bare skin of her bottom. 'The corset, stockings, and garters can stay ... for now.'

The moment her panties were off, he toppled her backward onto the bed. 'I love you, Lea Harper. You are everything to me.'

'I love you, Ken.' She looked up at him from beneath her lashes; let her hunger for him show. 'Now keep your promise. Make me scream.'

And he did.

***

Ken stood inside the shower, feeling the spray pounding on his back as he leaned his forehead against the tile wall. His eyes were closed, every muscle tight with the effort to control the raging demand that pounded through his body and his mind.

Lea was leaving for New York and there wasn't a fucking thing that he could do about it. He thought that he would be strong when she left. But here he was under a shower, trying to come to terms with his raging emotions. Would he be able to live without Lea? It would be a hell he could have never imagined before now. Yes, he would live. But it would kill him.

'Ken?' Her voice was a whisper of hunger, of the needs that raged within him as well.

He opened his eyes, ignoring the water that poured over him as his turned to meet her gaze.

Her blue eyes were dark with pain, with goodbye. Not yet. He wasn't ready yet.

'The flight is at 10.' His heart clenched at the sound of her voice, at the misery in it. 'I will have to leave in a couple of hours.'

Lea had put her robe back on, had belted it tightly around her waist and pushed her hands deep into the little pockets at the side. Her hands were clenched, her fingers bunched together to restrain the pain he saw reflected in her gaze.

He wasn't ready to let her go, wasn't prepared to do without her presence in his home.

'I left the spare key on your desk. If you decide to pay me a visit in New York, it will come in handy. Ken, I ...' He watched her swallow convulsively; saw the regret that filled her eyes, and the tears.

'No!' he growled.

Straightening abruptly he jerked her into the shower, ignoring her gasp, pushing aside the knowledge that no matter how hard he wanted, how much he loved, that it was time for her to go.

'I will always be here.' His arms wrapped around her, pulled her against his chest as he maneuvered his body to protect her from the full force of the water. 'Always, Lea ... I will be right here, sweetie. Anytime you need me. Anyway you want me.'

Her arms tightened around his shoulders, holding fiercely to him as he felt the heat of her tears against his chest. God surely hadn't meant for a man to have to endure this sorrow? He prayed for mercy, because he couldn't cry with her.

***

Leaving Ken was the hardest thing Lea had ever done in her life. She didn't think she would have the strength to do it. But she did it. She threw her suitcase into the waiting taxi. Ken stood behind her silently. He had watched her pack, his expression worn and his gaze turbulent. But he hadn't made any demands, hadn't asked for any promises, he was simply letting her go. Reluctantly, she could tell, but he was letting her go. She turned back to him as she closed the rear door, staring up at him, realizing that the pain in her chest was more than just regret. It was a hollow, gaping wound she feared would never ease.

'Remember to let Mom know that you reached safely,' he told her softly. 'She worries, even if she never says anything.'

Lea nodded, smiling though her heart was breaking. 'First thing,' she agreed.

'And remember, you always have me,' he finished. 'Anytime, Lea. All the time.'

She wanted to weep at the softness of his voice. 'Ken...' There was so much she wanted to say.

'No.' He shook his head regretfully, reaching out to touch her cheek with a caress so light, so tender she felt it rock her soul. 'Just remember that, baby. You know where I am at if you need me. Always.'

She had to look away from him or she would never hold back her tears. How was she walking away from him? She could feel everything inside her screaming out in rage that she would do so.

'Go,' he said then. 'You will miss your flight if you don't leave soon.'

Her lips trembled as she turned back to him. She blinked fiercely to hold back her tears, fighting her head and her heart as she stared up at him. 'I want...' He cut her words off, laying his fingers against her lips as he flinched slightly.

'Don't, Lea,' he whispered. 'Don't make letting you go impossible for me to do or for you to do. There's always tomorrow. We aren't saying goodbye, remember?'

She licked her lips, feeling her soul shatter. God help her. He didn't want her to go. She could see it in his eyes; in that crooked, pain-filled smile that was hers alone. It was hers alone because he loved her.

She was barely aware of the whimper that left her throat but there was no mistaking the strength, the need in his body as he jerked her against him, holding her tight to his chest, sheltering her with his big body as one hand held her head to him.

'Listen to me,' he growled fiercely. 'You don't have to say anything, Lea. You don't have to do anything. Come home whenever you feel like. Know I will be here. That's all. Damn you, this isn't forever. I won't let it be.'

He pulled her head back, his fingers tangling in her hair, destroying the perfection of the intricate braid she had painstakingly worked the strands into. But she didn't care. He was holding her, his lips were on hers, his tongue taking possession of her mouth, wiping away the destructive agony piercing her soul. It wasn't goodbye. Not yet. One hand gripped her hip, rocking her against his erection as his mouth ate at hers, his groan vibrating against her lips as the hunger that raged between them began to gnaw at her resolve.

'You are going to send me up in flames right here on the roadside, woman. Is that any example for civic sense?' He dragged his lips from hers, a weary, entirely false spurt of laughter leaving his lips as he stared down at her. 'I am too old for this, baby. Now get out of here, so I can get some work done.'

He stepped back from her, ripping her heart from her chest when he did so. 'Go on,' his voice softened as he nodded at the jeep. 'I will see you soon.'

She backed away. She couldn't turn away from him. 'Soon?' She heard the desperate plea in her own voice.

'Very soon, baby,' he promised. 'Anytime you need me.'

'What about when you need me?' she wondered aloud.

His expression flinched, a subtle expression of pain that had her stilling the cry in her throat. 'I will always need you, Lea,' he said softly, roughly. 'Always.'

***

To be continued ...

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