Big Bang Theory - Penny Pays the Bill Pt. 05

A fictional story about fictional characters.

*****

It was Tuesday night and Penny and her friend and fellow waitress Bernadette Rostenkowski were standing behind the bar of the Cheesecake Factory. It had been a slow night and they had plenty of time to converse while waiting on the few customers in the restaurant. "I'm going to introduce Howard to April," Penny informed Bernadette, "he did me a favor and I promised I would introduce him to one of my friends."

"But you know I kind of like Howard," Bernadette squeaked in her high-pitched voice.

"Really," Penny responded, "because Howard said he didn't think you were into him."

"What girl wouldn't be interested in Howard, with those smoldering eyes and those tight hoochy-mama pants he wears," Bernadette proclaimed, "you just tell him I'm waiting for him to make the first move."

"Yeah...right," Penny pretended to agree, "OK, forget about April."

"And don't think I don't know where your interests lie," Bernadette teased her, "I see you on Tuesday nights before the boys come in, standing in front of the stainless steel looking at your reflection, fixing your hair and touching up your lipstick."

"Oh that's just a coincidence, I always try to look my best," Penny brushed off her inference.

"Right...and don't think I haven't seen the way Leonard stares at you with that dreamy look in his eyes," Bernadette continued to tease.

"Really...he does? Oh, lots of guys stare at me," Penny answered.

"Yeah, especially when you "accidentally" leave the top three buttons of your blouse undone," Bernadette stated.

"Hey as a scientist you should appreciate that because it's part of a scientific experiment to see if I get better tips...and the results have been overwhelmingly positive," Penny told her.

"Scientific experiment...good one...but seriously, I can tell that with Leonard it's the real thing because when he stares at you he's staring at your face...not below your neck. You really shouldn't let this one get away...I know he's a nerd, but you can't always judge a book by it's cover," Bernadette urged her. "I know he's not the type you usually go out with; all handsome with lots of muscles, but nerds are loyal and will treat you the way a girl should be treated."

"To be honest with you Bernie, we have been out on a couple dates and the last one was the absolute nicest date I have ever been on," Penny admitted.

"And you didn't tell me," Bernadette squealed, her voice reaching an upper octave that only dogs could hear, "come on...spill...did you...you know."

"Jeez...no...it was just the nicest night. He took me up to the roof for a candle-lit dinner and we looked at the meteor shower. He is just the sweetest guy and it felt like we had known each other forever. It would be so easy for me to fall for Leonard head-over-heels, but I've been burned so many times; I just keep waiting for the REAL Leonard to show up...you know, the one who treats me like crap, Penny sadly added."

"Trust me on this Penny," Bernadette assured her, "I have been around nerds all my life...heck, I'm one of them...with Leonard, what you see is what you get. They only have a dark-side in their comic books. If you let him get away, you'll regret it. I've seen the way he looks at you...you are his princess."

"Thanks Bernie," Penny hugged her friend, "I needed to hear that...I'm going to make this nerd, my nerd."

As if on cue, Leonard, his roommate Sheldon, Howard, and their fellow scientist Raj walked through the door and headed for their usual table...Penny's table. Penny casually walked over to their table, leaned over and kissed Leonard on the cheek and then asked for their orders. Howard, Raj and even Leonard were too speechless to answer, their jaws hanging open at Penny's affectionate gesture, so she just nodded at Sheldon and read what she was writing on her pad, "barbeque bacon cheeseburger, with the barbeque, bacon and cheese on the side." After they had recovered enough to give her their orders, she reached out and squeezed Leonard's hand, then walked into the kitchen, leaving them stunned.

"What the hell was that," Howard demanded, nearly popping a vein in his forehead. Truthfully, Leonard was just as shocked as the rest of them (not being privy to Penny's previous conversation), but he played it cool, "I guess I'm just irresistible."

Sheldon snorted, his version of a laugh, and announced, "isn't it obvious...Penny is playing on your insecurities to increase her gratuity. I'll tell you one thing...she better not try to kiss me."

"Yeah, I don't think you have anything to worry about Sheldon," Howard calmed him, "but I would be happy to give her a big tip...if you know what I mean."

"Yeah Sheldon," Leonard added, ignoring Howard, "after all this time Penny knows she is only going to get the standard 15 % from you...figured out to the penny."

"But seriously," Raj chimed in, "what was all that touching about. Especially after you totally missed the kick-ass birthday party she threw for you...she must have been really pissed."

"Yeah, damn it...I missed it too and she promised to introduce me to her easy friends," Howard sadly added.

"No...she wasn't too pissed," Leonard dreamily added as he was flashing back to the night of his party when Penny had awakened him, slid into his bed and gave him two birthday gifts: her left breast and her right breast. "She is so perfect," he mumbled out loud.

"Stop mumbling," Sheldon scolded him, "here comes our food...finally."

As Penny distributed their orders, she leaned into Howard and whispered, "Bernadette is hot for you...she's just waiting for you to make your move."

"Jeez...what was that," Raj demanded, "when am I going to get a break?"

"Well...it seems like Leonard is not the only one who is irresistible," Howard explained, "Bernadette has the hots for me."

That night just before closing, Penny was cleaning up the bar when she noticed one of the last customers seemed to be having an argument with Bernadette. He was an absolutely huge black man with a glistening shaved head, and he seemed even bigger when standing in front of the midget-sized Bernadette. Penny started to approach them to see if her friend needed help, when Bernadette waved her off, "it's OK Penny, nothing to worry about." The imposing man gestured toward the apprehensive Penny and then abruptly left the restaurant.

"Jeez Bernie, I know it's none of my business but is everything all right," Penny inquired, "that dude was kinda scary."

Bernadette collapsed into one of the bar stools and began to spill everything to her good friend: "here's the thing Penny. You know I have been working my way through grad school with this job to supplement my income at the pharmaceutical company. Well they have offered me a huge promotion; heading a division of research; but the job is contingent on my getting my doctorate. That's really expensive. My father helps, but you know he is a retired cop and his pension doesn't go far. I've been able to afford the books and the classes, but this year's tuition was exorbitant."

"Isn't there some kind of assistance you could apply for," Penny asked.

"No, not for this level...only if I was an unwed mother or on welfare or something," Bernadette informed her. "Anyway, can I tell you something in confidence...promise not to tell anyone...ever?"

"Promise," Penny answered, making a zipping motion across her ruby lips.

"Well, truth be told, I am kind of a nympho...I love being naked...and I love sex. I used to do some performing for that guy you saw me with. Sometimes I did it for free, just because I liked it." You could have knocked Penny over with a feather, hearing innocent little Bernadette's confession. "Anyway, when I needed the tuition money, I borrowed it from this guy and his associates; as a last resort of course. Now they want it back...immediately. I assumed they would wait until I got the promotion, which would have meant a huge raise; but they want it now. Since I don't have it, they are willing to let me work it off...but...there is a catch."

"Wow, this is unbelievable," Penny blurted out, "it's like something out of a movie. What's the catch?"

"Well, they need two girls," Bernadette told her, nearly in tears, "he saw you and told me I would have to bring you along; or find someone just as attractive. Penny if you would do this for me I would be forever in your debt...I would owe you big time. I could get you a job at the drug company...anything you want...this would save my life...and I bet they would tip you generously."

Penny was speechless. Her best friend was asking her to do some kind of sex show with her. On the one hand she loved Bernadette and would do almost anything for her, but after recent events she was trying to stay away from getting naked for strangers. Due to the film she had just made, but was not very proud of, for the first time since moving to California she wasn't desperate for money.

Tears were streaming down Bernadette's rosy cheeks as Penny hugged her and whispered, "I'll do it...but Leonard can never know...promise."

"Or Howard," Bernadette sobbed, hugging Penny back, "I promise. Thank you so much. I have never had such a good friend before."

The following afternoon as Penny was entering the lobby of her building, struggling with two oversized bags of groceries, Leonard was descending the stairs to check his mail, "hi gorgeous," he grinned from ear to ear, "let me help you with those."

"Thank you my brave knight for coming to my rescue," she joked, "I wasn't looking forward to carrying these up three flights of stairs. Why the hell doesn't the landlord fix that elevator. What happened to it anyway?"

Taking one of the bags and forgetting about his mail completely, Leonard began: "well, funny story...I'll tell you as we walk. I once "borrowed" a container of rocket fuel from the university's lab...it was soon after I moved in with Sheldon."

"Why on earth would you want rocket fuel," Penny inquired.

"I thought it would impress Wendy Cho. I'm sure you've guessed, I'm not exactly popular with the ladies, so I need every advantage I can get."

"Well I don't know about the other ladies," Penny told him, "but you're pretty popular with this one. They don't know what they're missing," and she patted him on the butt as they climbed.

"Suddenly this bag seems lighter," Leonard joked.

"So did it work...was she impressed," Penny asked.

"By the time I got the courage to tell her, she had moved on," Leonard admitted, "anyway, one day we were over at Howard's and he showed me a real neat three-stage rocket he had built...but he lacked fuel. Well we brought the rocket over here and I diluted the fuel to match the size of the rocket...or so I thought. Sheldon told me the ratio was wrong, but I thought he was just being Sheldon...you know, always right, so I ignored him."

They had reached the fourth floor and he continued, "well the fuel began to smoke and I tried to get in the elevator to take it outside, but Sheldon said there wasn't enough time so he shoved me out of the elevator and closed the door. Almost immediately it blew up...no more elevator. And that's one of the reasons I stay with Sheldon: not only did he actually save my life, but he didn't report me to the police. Actually he has never mentioned the incident since. He is a crazy person, but very loyal."

"So I have you to thank every time I have to lug something up the stairs," Penny fake-scowled at him.

"Yeah, sorry," Leonard apologized.

Grinning shrewdly, Penny suggested, "well, I guess I'll just have to think of some way for you to make it up to me."

As she was unlocking her door, Leonard stammered, "umm, I wanted to ask you if you were free for lunch tomorrow...I was thinking of playing hooky."

"Oh really," she smiled, "what did you have in mind, oh mad scientist."

"I was wondering if you would like to go to the park with me and have a picnic," Leonard asked hopefully.

"I would absolutely love it. That's the nicest invitation I've had in a long time," she answered without hesitation. "Maybe ever," she thought.

The next day they decided to walk to the park and about half way there, Penny took his hand in hers and they walked the rest of the way holding hands. It seemed so natural to Penny and she could tell by the way Leonard puffed out his chest, that he was pleased too. He had carried his wicker picnic basket and something fairly large in his backpack. Spreading out the blanket from the basket, Penny saw him pull a drone out and thought, "well, he IS a nerd." The surprise was, once he showed her how to control it with his I-pad, she was having more fun with it than he was. She even made it hover and take a picture of them kissing.

It was so warm that Leonard had actually striped down to his t-shirt and Penny was impressed at the definition of his arms and chest. "Have you been working out," she quizzed him.

"A little, I've been going to the university gym at lunch time a couple times a week," he admitted.

"And how long has this been going on," she continued.

"Oh I don't know...about ten months I guess," he answered.

"So you started about the time I moved in," she teased.

"Just a coincidence," Leonard blushed.

Letting the drone crash near their blanket, Penny cupped his face in her hands and kissed him gently on the lips, "you are so sweet...where have you been all my life."

They ate the lunch he had packed and then just lay back on the blanket, looking up at the clouds and holding hands.

Back at the apartment building, Penny was all ready to ask him to come into her apartment and share her bed when the door to 4A burst open and a frazzled looking Sheldon ordered, "it's about time...get in here Leonard. Have you forgotten it's Halo night...Raj is already here. You too Penny...Howard is busy with his mother and we need a fourth."

"I don't know how to play Halo," Penny told Sheldon, "and we have other plans."

"Perfect, you can be on Leonard's team. Now get in here, I'll show you how," Sheldon demanded.

Leonard spoke up, "sorry Penny, but you know how he is. He won't leave us alone until we play. Did we have other plans?"

Sighing, Penny gave in, "none that won't wait I guess." Sadly for Sheldon, Penny proved to be a Halo savant, and proceeded to kick his ass; causing him to pout for the next two days.

"Maybe we can catch a movie or something this weekend," Leonard suggested as he walked Penny to her door.

"I'd love to sweetie, but Saturday Bernadette and I are having a "girl's day." We'll see what time we get back. If it's too late, maybe Sunday. Anyway, thanks for a wonderful day...I really loved spending it with you." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately, thinking to herself: "if I didn't have to work tomorrow morning I would have your clothes off in about twenty seconds."

Friday night at the Cheesecake Factory seemed to drag on forever. Penny was completely anxious about helping Bernadette "entertain" the next day and kept pumping her with questions concerning what to expect. "This party is supposed to be a bachelor party with the theme being Last Night In Paradise," Bernadette informed her. "Kevin, the guy you saw me talking to, is throwing it for one of his friends and he said there will be about eight guys there. He wants us to wear bikinis...to start with...but they probably won't be on for long, if you know what I mean. You realize when he says "entertain," he means sex."

"Uhhh yeah...I got that," Penny assured her, "all week I've been having second thoughts about it, but I know you'll be in big trouble if we don't go through with it, so you can count on me. Just please make sure Leonard never finds out because I really want to have a future with this guy. You were right: he IS a keeper."

"Thanks Penny, I owe you big time," Bernadette hugged her, "I'll pick you up about 3:00 tomorrow afternoon...you've got a bikini, right."

"That's perfect, I think the guys are having some sort of Dungeons & Dragons marathon, or some such nonsense, tomorrow, so unless you are the Szechuan Palace delivery guy they won't even notice you," Penny agreed. "I have a nice orange bikini which I think would be perfect."

On the drive to the bachelor party, Bernadette handed Penny a large thermos and told her, "it's margaritas...just thought you might need some liquid-courage. I'll finish what you don't drink when we get there."

"My kind of girl," Penny grinned as she opened the top and drank straight from the bottle. She left about half of the contents for Bernadette, who literally poured it down her throat as soon as she had parked the car. Kevin's house was a mini-mansion between Pasadena and Compton and when he greeted them at the door. Penny realized he was even larger than she remembered. He must have been at least six foot five and he reminded her of the guy from the Mr. Clean commercials. There was a table in the foyer that everyone had obviously thrown their car keys on and Bernadette casually added hers. It was then that Penny fully realized that these men were not to be messed with: there was also a pile of belt holsters loaded with semi-automatic handguns. Leading them down to the basement he told them that they should do a little dancing in their bikinis and then maybe a sexy strip.

The basement was your typical man-cave, complete with sofas, a pool table, a long bar, and of course the ubiquitous big-screen TV. The carpeting was so thick that it was like walking on a big sponge. Kevin took them around the room and introduced them to the other seven men, some of which Bernadette already knew. The bachelor turned out to be Kevin's brother Sean, who was even bigger than Kevin. Penny didn't remember all their names, or didn't catch them, because the music was really thumping. They had gone all out for the theme, as each guy was dressed in colorful board shorts and outrageous Hawaiian shirts, and there were huge potted ficus and palm trees everywhere.

They passed the bar and they both swiftly downed several shots of tequila for courage and relaxation. Then Kevin showed them to a spacious bathroom so they could change, which for Penny just amounted to removing her jeans and shirt because she had worn her bikini underneath. Bernadette had done the same and unveiled the skimpiest thong bikini that Penny had ever seen. Penny had only seen Bernadette in work clothes or jeans and was shocked at the size of her breasts. They must have been at least 38 DD and hung on her chest like a couple of giant water balloons. The material did not even fully cover her large brown areola and Penny could see that her nipples had been pierced and metal bars inserted through them.

Bernadette saw her trying not to stare and smiled broadly as she explained, "I had them pierced in college. I don't wear the studs much because you can see them through my bra...I also had another piercing." She proceeded to pull the tiny string, that barely covered her slit, to the side and pulled on a tiny gold ring attached to her left labia. Penny's mouth dropped open and she also noticed that Bernadette's pussy lips were unbelievably long.

"Holy shit Bernie, didn't that hurt," Penny exclaimed.

"I was drunk as a skunk," her friend admitted, "the next day it was a little tender. Sometimes when I used to perform for Kevin, I would attach a little chain between my pussy and one of my nipples...it seems to turn guys on." You could have knocked Penny over with a feather...sweet, innocent little Bernadette was a bona fide sex maniac. "Do you like my bikini?"

Penny could hardly tell she had one on. The string bottom was just that..a string. It disappeared between her ample ass cheeks and the only thing it covered in the front was her actual slit...and only then when she was standing still. Penny had thought her own bikini was revealing, but it was a "granny " bathing suit compared to Bernie's. Bernadette took off her glasses and replaced them with contacts, "they always get lost at these things," she explained. "Well are you ready to perform," Bernadette asked, "or should I just say; are you ready to get fucked? I'm getting wet just thinking about it."