Big Bang Theory Season 03 Ep. 19-23

Leonard put his hand to his head, "What do you want, Sheldon?"

He turned to leave, "Maybe this isn't a good time."

"Tell me why you woke me you or I swear to God I will kill you!"

"Do you really think death threats are an appropriate way to begin this conversation? Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me." He knew for sure now he was going to leave out the part about having coitus.

Leonard held his temper, "What-do-you-want?"

"You may want to sit down."

He yelled out, "I'm in bed!"

"Point taken, you may want to sit up."

He really yelled now, "SHELDON!"

He took a deep breath, "I've been seeing Penny behind your back."

Now Leonard sat up, "Okay, when you say "seeing Penny" what exactly does that mean?"

He for sure was going to leave out the coitus, "We had dinner last night. She made me spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up in it."

Leonard put on his glasses, "Fine! Why did you have dinner with Penny?"

"I told you, she made spaghetti with little hog dogs in it. I like spaghetti with little hot dogs.

"Well, then why did you have Chinese food with us?"

"I didn't want to upset you. Howard made it very clear that my allegiance should be to the male comrades, before women who sell their bodies for money."

"Is it possible he said, "Bros before ho's"?

"Yes, but I rephrased it to avoid offending the ho's."

"Sheldon, I don't care if you wanna be friends with Penny."

"Oh, so the emotional turmoil that has been keeping me from achieving REM sleep was entirely unjustified?"

Leonard smiled and nodded, "Yes."

"Well, then as my meemaw would say, looks like we butchered a pig, but nobody wanted bacon."

Leonard fell back to the pillow, "I guess not."

The next day, Penny was mellowed out, especially after Sheldon gave her multi-orgasm, nothing was going to ruin her good mood. She entered the laundry room and Leonard was there folding his clothes. She stood in the doorway, "Oh, I can come back."

"Don't be silly, we're neighbors. We're gonna run into each other. May as well get used to it."

She took a deep breath, guilty about fucking Sheldon's brains out all of a sudden, "Yeah, I guess you're right." She walked in and put her clothes basket on the washer

He stopped and looked towards her, "Are you used to it yet?"

She shook her head and replied really quickly, "Nope!"

"Me neither! Oh, Sheldon seems to think I'd be upset about you two hanging out with him. I want you to know its fine."

"Oh, oh good, because his mother called me. She wants me to take him shopping for sheets and towels."

"I was gonna do that."

She got defensive, "Oh, well, then you do it."

"Well I don't wanna do it, you can do it."

"Okay, then you can take him for shoes."

"Fine, I'll take him for shoes next Saturday."

"Oh, no, no, no, a bunch of us from work are going to Disneyland next Saturday and Sheldon wants to come."

He dropped his shirt, "You're taking him to Disneyland?"

"Well, he heard me making plans on the phone. Was I gonna say no?"

"Alright, but let me know if you're gonna stuff him with junk food. I don't wanna bring home a nice dinner for him and see it go to waste."

Her good mood was disappearing quickly, "We're going to Disneyland, he gonna eat junk food."

He bit him lip, he was getting pissed too, "All I'm saying is give me a heads-up."

She waved her head and she replied sarcastically, "Okay...Whatever!" She turned and left the laundry room.

As she walked out he blurted out, "And don't let him go on Space Mountain after he eats. He'll say he can handle it, but you'll end up with churro puke on your shoes."

She was getting ever more sarcastic, "All right! Got it! Anything else?"

"Yean, don't let Goofy near him. He'll have nightmares and I'll have to deal with it."

She looked at him with a pissed off look on her face, "What's the problem with Goofy?"

"Wish I knew. He's fine with Pluto."

Late Saturday night Sheldon came home with Penny leading the way, "We're home."

Leonard was playing a board game with Howard and Raj, "It's 10:00 p.m. where have you been?"

Sheldon stood before him, "We stayed for the California Adventure water show. It was pure Disney magic."

Leonard was getting pissed again, "I was gonna see that with him."

Penny struck back, "How was I to know that?"

Sheldon tried to smooth things over, "It's all right, I'll see it again with you."

Leonard jumped up, "And I have food him. You were gonna call, remember."

She started whining, "I know, I know."

Once again Sheldon broke in, "I can still eat."

Penny stopped him, "No! You already threw up once. Go put your p.j.'s on and brush your teeth."

He looked at both of them, "Okay, but just don't fight."

Leonard looked at him, "We're not fighting."

Penny added, "Just...go!"

He slowly began walking towards his bedroom and Leonard stopped him, "Aren't you gonna thank Penny for taking you to Disneyland?"

He stopped and turned smiling, "Thank you...Penny!"

She smiled from ear to ear, "You're welcome, Sweetie!"

Leonard stood before her, like two parents fighting over a child, "Want a cup of coffee?"

"Um, oh, I should probably get going."

"Come on, it's just a cup of coffee."

She smiled, "Yeah, okay!"

Leonard was pouring the coffee with Penny close at his side. He stopped and stepped back, "What am I smelling?"

She looked down, "Sheldon's churro on my shoes."

He looked down and gave her a disgusted look.

Sheldon was in bed with his Mickey Mouse ears on. Penny and Leonard were in the doorway watching him sleep. She shook her head, "He's such an angel when he's asleep."

Leonard nodded, "Yeah, shame he has to wake up."

She looked to Leonard, "I think we can do it."

"Smother Sheldon in his sleep? Wouldn't that be wrong?"

"No, I mean, be friends, you and me."

He turned and looked at her, "Oh, sure, absolutely!"

She smiled, "Good, I'm glad."

He had a grin on his face, "Here's an idea. I'm just throwing it out there, friends who have sex."

She padded him on the shoulder, Good night, Leonard!" She turned and left.

He followed, "Just kidding, just a couple of friends goofing around."

On Monday, the guys were eating at the university and Sheldon pulled a paper from his folder, "As per our roommate agreement, this is your 24-hour notice, that I will be having a non-related female spending two nights in our apartment."

Everyone stopped and took notice of what he just said. Leonard wanted a clarification, "When you said non-related female, you still mean human, right?"

"Well of course. Pets are banned by the agreement with the exception of service animals, such as Seeing Eye dogs and, one day cybernetically enhanced helper monkeys"

Howard looked a little worried, "Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?"

He looked at Howard, "Sarcasm?"

Howard nodded, "Yes, but mixed with genuine concern."

"For your information, I'll be playing host to Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton (Judy Greer)."

Raj questioned him, "The Cosmological physicist from Princeton?"

"Yes, we've been corresponding for years about our mutual interest in gravitational wave signatures of inflatons in the early universe. Now she's under consideration for a position at our university."

Leonard spoke up, "Why didn't you tell me you knew Elizabeth Plimpton? I am a huge fan of hers."

"I didn't realize I was obligated to share my connection with things you're a fan of but, very well. You enjoy Canadian bacon. I've been to Toronto."

"Okay, fine. Where is she gonna sleep?"

"My room, of course."

Howard raised his hand, "I have a two part question. A, are you kidding me? And B, seriously, are you freaking kidding me?"

"A, I rarely kid. And B, when I do kid, you will know it by my use of the word "Buzzinga!"

"So you're saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed?"

"Yes...Buzzinga!"

Leonard was dumbfounded, "Why is a renowned scientist staying in our apartment instead of a hotel?"

"She doesn't care for hotel, who can blame her? Windows that don't open, multi-user liners and keys shaped like credit cards. As if one walks around with unassigned slots in one's wallet."

The next evening she knocked on their door and Leonard came running out of his room, dressed in a suit, "She's here, she's here, how do I look? Do I look smart?"

Sheldon stopped wiping down the kitchen counter, "Oh, good grief, this isn't about you." He went and opened the door and Liz was at the door.

She let out a big sigh when she saw it was Sheldon, "Oh, Dr. Cooper, thank goodness, I completely forgot your address. Then I remembered that I'd written it on my hand. Lucky for me, I didn't confuse it with what I'd written on my other hand, which are the coordinates for a newly discovered neutron star. Because if I tried to go there, I'd be crushed by hypergravity, anyway, hello."

Sheldon nodded, "Hello."

"Nice to finally meet you in person."

"I would imagine it is." He welcomed her in and she was pulling her suitcase behind her. She stopped before Leonard, "This is my friend and roommate, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter."

He stepped forward and shook her hand, "Hi-lo, oops I started to say hi, and then switched it to hello in the middle. It came out hi-lo. Duh!" He put his hand out again to shake it, "It's nice to meet you. I've read both your books and most of your papers. I'm Leonard, I live here, you're brilliant."

Sheldon broke in, I apologize, he's only an experimental physicist."

She nodded, "No need to apologize, some of my best friends are experimental physicists. Well, not my best friends, but I know them. My best friend is a molecular chemist named Wendy. I'm sorry, I'm rambling. Hi-lo"

Leonard pointed towards the kitchen, "Are you hungry? Can I offer you anything?"

Sheldon interrupted again, "Listen, she's my guest, if anyone should off her anything, it should be me. Elizabeth, can I get you something? Perhaps a feminine-hygiene-product or a bowel-regulating yogurt?"

She looked at him weirdly, "Interesting choices, based on my current needs, I guess I'd pick the yogurt."

"Excellent, if the yogurt works, I bought some delightful scented candles." He went into the kitchen to get the yogurt.

Leonard picked up a copy of Elizabeth's book and pointed to her picture on the back of the book, "Look, it's you."

Sheldon brought her the yogurt and sitting in the living room, she spoke to both of them, "Thank you so much for opening up your home to me."

Leonard dominated the conversation, "Who wants to stay in a hotel? Windows that don't open, those crazy card-shaped keys."

Sheldon was dumbfounded he was saying that.

Liz leaned forward, "I'm so glad you understand."

Sheldon had enough and cut in, "No, he doesn't understand, I understand."

Leonard added, "I understand too!"

"You're just misappropriating my understanding."

Leonard ignored him, "I think any university would want you. Except of course, any university that already had you, because they would've already wanted you, before they, you know, got you."

She stared at Leonard a little confused by what he just said.

Sheldon added, "From the mind that brought you hi-lo. Let me show you to your room."

"All right, I guess I am a little tired." She stood there and Leonard couldn't take his eyes off her tall, lily white body. Her flaming red hair cascaded off her shoulders and down across her chest. He loved her sky-blue eyes. She turned and headed towards the bedroom, "Good night, Leonard."

He was once again tongue-tied, "Sleep night, I mean, obviously, good night. I started to say sleep tight, and then I changed my mind in the middle." He let out a deep breath, "I swear to God, I'm smart!"

She turned and headed to the bedroom and Sheldon shook his head, "Get it together man!"

He showed her the room and went over the features of the room.

She took it all in, "Can I ask you a question about your roommate?"

"He's an odd duck, isn't her?"

"What's his relationship status?"

"Well, there was a misbegotten adventure with a waitress who lives across the hall. It ended as inexplicably as it began. They had very little in common except for carnal activity. That's why I acquired these noise-canceling headphones. If you decide to use them, please clean the earpieces afterwards with the Wet Wipes you'll find in the bathroom. I'll leave you to your nighttime ablutions. Sleep well, my friend."

She shook his hand, "You too!"

Leonard was in bed, in only his t-shirt. He learned to sleep nearly naked after all of those extracurricular activities with Penny. He was re-reading Elizabeth's book when there was a knock on the door, "Yes?"

The door opened and Liz poked her head in. She was wearing an ankle length red robe, "I saw your light on."

He smiled at her, "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, I just couldn't sleep."

"Me neither, look what I'm reading...you!" He sat up taller in his bed.

She slid into the room and closed the door behind her, "I though you already read it."

"I did, but it's been a while, and I wanted to sound smart over breakfast.

She tipped her head to one side, she had her long red hair pulled up in a lose bun. She grinned at him, "Aw, you're smart"

"Oh, good, I wasn't sure it was coming across."

She stepped closer to the bed, her hands behind her, "What chapter are you on?"

He checked, "Uh, six."

She stepped even closer and turning, she gently sat down on the bed beside him, "Ah, the extragalactic distance ladder." With most of her back to him, she turned her head and looked down at him, "Want to know a little secret?"

He stared into those gorgeous blue eyes of hers, he stuttered, "Sure!"

"I wrote the section on the Wilson-Bappu Effect completely naked."

He was stunned and looked at her again, "Really? It sure doesn't read that way."

"Here, let me show you." She stood up and turned toward him, she cleared her voice, "When we consider the brightness of pulsating variable stars, we start to see a possible explanation..." She untied her robe and dropped it to the floor. She stood naked before him and continued, "For dome of the discrepancies found in Hubble's constant."

Leonard's eyebrow shot upward, his glasses steamed up and his jaw dropped. He stared at her lily white body and those large tits. He knew she was a true redhead, she had a tiny patch of red hair just above her tight-lipped pussy and her nipples and aeroules were a bright pink; that was a sure giveaway for being a true redhead. He just stared, "Wow! You really make science come alive." He tossed the book to the floor, threw the covers back, Wanna try and get some sleep here with me?"

She reached up, her large tits rose to the sky. She unclipped her hair, shaking it free; she slid to the mattress, like a cat stalking its prey. "Mmmm, maybe later, but first let me see...can you expel some of this energy I've seemed to accumulated talking about my book?" Before he could reply, he groaned out in pleasure as Liz's long red hair covered his thighs and belly and her lips encircled his cock and even though it was rapidly growing, she took it all into her mouth.

Leonard arched his back, his thighs scraped against her firm tits. He shivered as he felt her tongue roll around his cock as it began to swell. It was nearly at full length now and it scraped against the back of her throat. He loved how her throat muscles clutched at his cock and the head slid along her throat. He groaned as he felt and watched her mouth slowly begin to slip up and off his cock. He fisted her unruly red locks and tightening his grip, he urged her up until her mouth was on his. He shivered again as her stiff nipples scraped across his hairy chest and squash together as he pulled her tight to his body. He began tongue fucking her mouth and stopped when she sucked on his and drew it into her mouth. He cupped her luscious ass and his fingers found her dripping slit. Shoving two fingers up into her, he smiled as she moaned, opening her mouth and he took that advantage and sucked on her tongue and bottom lip. He finger-fucked her pussy, and at the same time, tongue-fucked her mouth.

Elizabeth was close to cumming. She anticipated fucking Leonard all evening and now, with his fingers and tongue working magic on her body, she could feel herself tensing up, ready to explode and when she felt Leonard's thumb on her clit, it sent her over the top and she groaned loudly and bathed his fingers in her juices.

Leonard loved how she reacted to his playing with her body. He knew he was good, the way he got this gorgeous redhead off so quickly, he knew the issues he had with Penny, were her problems, not his. He drew her back and pushing her down, he caught his saliva covered cock between those two pillows of flesh. He gripped them by the sides and began fucking her tits. He loved how her hair cascaded all over her tits and his cock. He grunted out, "Oh Liz, suck it; suck my cock while I fuck your gorgeous tits." He twisted her nipples and loved those rosy nips as they turned to deeper red.

Liz let out a shriek as she was suddenly on her back. She stared up at him with those lovely blue eyes. They turned from a bright twinkling blue to a dusty, deeper blue, masked in lust. She extended her arms and drew him down to her lush, milky white body. She moaned out as she felt his weight upon her. She reached down and encircling his cock, she guided it to her tight-lipped, but bubbling slit. She let out a rush of air from her lungs as she felt him part her outer lips and slip slowly, but steadily into her luscious, hot pussy. Her long legs rose up and wrapped around his sweat covered body. She locks ankles and began thrusting upward as she urged him on. "Oh yes Leonard, take me, make me your cum slut. Fuck me; fuck me till I can't see straight. Harder, slam that gorgeous piece of meat deep into my cunt. Come on Leonard, fuck me, fuck me faster, I'm ready, please, harder, I'm cumming!" She dropped her legs from his body and her feet were flat on the mattress. She used her leverage to thrust up hard, meeting his every stroke and when she came, her nails dug deep into the flesh of his back. She lay there in the afterglow of her orgasm. She gently swiped the damp hair from his forehead.

Leonard planted several soft kisses all over her face, neck and down to her heaving tits. He teased her damp bangs that clung to her moist forehead, and slipping down, he combed his fingers through the sea of red locks surrounding her flushed face.

After about five minutes, they were both raring to go again. This time Leonard slid down her glistening body, planting soft, wet kisses the lower he went. Upon reaching her dripping and pouty pussy, he used his thumbs to part her lips and he began licking, sucking and stabbing at her bubbly hole. Over the next thirty minutes, he managed to bring Liz to three massive orgasms. His sheets had a large stain from all of the juices she expelled.

Liz was drained, but she wanted nothing more than to feel Leonard fuck her, just like he did earlier, she wanted to feel him fill her with his hot cum. She wasn't going to be satisfied until he spilled his seed in her well-satisfied cunt. She used what energy she had left and pushed at his head.

Leonard got the hint and pulling away from her sticky thighs, he swiped his mouth clean with the back of his hand. He watched as she rolled over and got up onto her knees. He looked down at a sight to behold. Her luscious ass swayed back and forth before him and when she dropped her shoulders down to the bed, she presented him with her glistening pussy. He immediately gripped his rock-hard cock and thrusting forward, buried himself balls deep into her quaking pussy.

Liz rose up; she threw her head back, sending a sea of red all along her milky white, slender back. She screamed out on pleasure as she felt him send his cock deep into her.