All Comments on 'Caged Pt. 02'

For the most part the story was well written, but there's no such thing as "I contact." I'm sure you meant "eye contact." There were a few other errors that I'm sure you would have caught if you had proofread the story. I usually review mine as many as ten times, sometimes for errors and others so a long story will have the right continuity and I can remember all of the characters' names and relationships.

I think both are great. I’m ok with her brining in another to push things since she’s from the bdsm community. I felt the whole situation was really hot especially the pegging discussion!

Thanks for the input. I'm really new at this and still totally an amateur. Looking back on this story...yeah, I'd say most of your criticisms are right.

I think, with this story, I felt like I needed to push things further. Also, with the first two stories, I was really just writing what I wanted to write. With this, in many ways, I was more influenced by other people's stories which I personally enjoy, but may not be the kind of stories I want to write. Finishing and submitting this story, I distinctly remember not being as satisfied with or proud of it as I was the first two stories I wrote.

There's a good chance I'll retcon this story away, or replace it with another part 2, especially if I get more comments saying similar things.

I liked chapter one. Not so much chapter two. It is too easy for teasing to get out of hand. I really didn't like how quickly you included an outside person. He expressed a legitimate negative reaction and she blew it off. Even worse that Rachel seems pushy and almost obnoxiously so. I certainly think less of Elle for the decisions she's made this time. I'm afraid you will turn her into another crazy domme. Anytime an author has a dom/me blithely say they know the sub's limits, I cringe. That usually is an excuse to do petty, mean and terrible things that the sub is always magically okay with.