All Comments on 'Crime & Punishment Pt. 03'

This bit was disappointingly bad. Your writing is excellent but just too many enormous holes in this chapter. If you want them to reconcile, so be it but come up with a better story line to get there.

I'm kinda with some of the other comments I'm seeing on here. The first two chapters of this were really strong, but I feel like it's becoming way too convoluted. The story keeps drifting further and further from the original characters and premise, to the point that the therapy sessions feel kinda out of place even though they're the only real thread from the beginning of the story.

Also I feel like you introduce a lot of interesting twists and turns, but it sort of feels like you have a strong idea of where you want them to go, instead of letting them guide you. Like I'm not entirely against reconciliation but if this sort of keep happening because of deus ex machina's it doesn't really feel earned.

Also, to be brutally honest while I don't think these things are at all intentional, I feel like there are some misogynistic and racist undertones in some of the writing. Like I get that some of it is the character's voice not yours (Like Laura's boss making comments about protagonist's Irish roots), but just a lot of unnecessary description about people's appearances and vernacular, but only pertaining to their gender/race. Also the way every successful woman is always attractive, and the ones who aren't are so quickly dismissed, but many of the men's appearance's are only described when either relevant to the plot, or not at all. (again, unless they happen to be a minority).

Eurgh I guess this has probably seemed like a character assassination of a comment, but I honestly didn't mean for it to come out this way. One thing I'll always say is that I never bother commenting on a story's quality unless I'm invested, so you're definitely doing something right! I just wish the story had stayed a bit tighter to the original cast, or at least removed some of the subplots (his friend's/mentors backstories or the DA election stuff).

One thing bothers me here..."You let her cheat to give yourself an excuse " and I agree with the Doc here...He heard them make plans...That Wensday he should have come to her office and told her to her face...he new what she was going to do...We know she hadn't done anything up to this point...I feel if he really loved her...he should have stopped her before hurting him...and also he should have the Player in his place... but then we would hove no story here...........

Moral of the story. If your wife cheats, and is well connected, she gets whatever she wants.

One star...

No the moral of the story is don’t get married. If you love someone, stay with them. If something happens just walk away. She keeps her shit and you keep yours.

Good story but you good writers are really getting me confused. I'm 78 and very naïve when it comes to relationships, love and emotions. Even though I was married twice the last for 40 years there is still a lot I don't understand. Some of these stories have led me to believe "once and don" when a partner cheats. Many who agree with this also look at promiscuous and call them sluts or whores. Lets face it people (both sexes) like sex. Is what keeps the human race from dying out. So men can screw all they want and they are just experienced and woman that screw all they want are sluts? Why aren't they experienced? Well back to the story the councilor hit the nail on the head when she pointed out that Pat had let his wife cheat. As the story goes he did. He should have confronted before she went on the first rendezvous with the creep. Pat thought he knew his wife but it turns out she was the self assured strong person that he thought she was. So.............Pat was partially responsible for her cheating or allowing her to cheat. Should he understand should he forgive her? Like I said you writers are confusing the hell out of this naive 78 year old. Keep writing.

In the first two installments I thought of the MC as simply the quiet, but strong type. Then this installment? The author wrote him as a gigantic pussy.

When that counselor questioned his pride in their first meeting? I would have leaned into her direction so I was only 3 feet away from her face and called her a man hating CUNT and told her that every session after that I was going to refer to my wife as "the whore" since a big part of why she fucked the asshole was because he promised to help her make partner and there make more money. Since she sold herself...therefore she was a whore. So that's how I will be referring to her in our sessions from there on out. "How's that for pride you stupid fucking CUNT."

How many more sessions do you think they'd have had of that court mandated counseling?

And to the post just prior to this. Whose referring to sex as just something that ordinary human beings have. No big deal to cheat. And that its his fault for not stopping her from fucking her boss since he heard the plans prior to?

Hey you dumbass. In the case of this story this broad KNEW the man she was marrying was a boy scout who sees everything in stark black and white terms. She KNEW if he found out what would happen.

Also...he worked as an assistant DA. He had trials and times where he had to work extra hours. She was an experienced and trained attorney and savvy negotiator.

What happens when he confronts her? And does not "let her" fuck the guy?

Think she doesnt deny it with a straight face and lie to him? Ends up twisting what he "thinks he heard"?

"Oh honey. I don't know what you THINK you heard he and I discussing, but meeting for sex was NOT what our Tuesday night meeting is about." As she laughs in his face.

Then she tips off the asshole...they get their stories straight AND THEN the next time they make plans to fuck they make sure they are more cautious and careful. Meanwhile he is running and prosecuting any number of cases...working 50 to 60 hours a week. No way he can keep track of the whore to know whether she is sneaking off for sex on lunch appointments or not.

So there you have it dumbass. You cannot stop someone from fucking around if they are determined to do it. You simply postpone it. And you make it harder to catch them.

There was nothing he could do short of confronting her...and then hiring a full time PI to tail her everywhere she went and track all her email and text messages. But if it comes to that point in any marriage? It's time to just divide up your shit and get out.

Again I like the writing. But damn I do not like the turn the author took in writing the MC. He turned out to be a total fucking pussy...tied to this whore forever now with a kid.

My guess is that kid is gonna have one seriously fucked up life. A dad who never wanted him and a mother who fucks people she doesnt even like in order to get ahead in life.

Read this for the second time. Still good. Thought he should have stopped from cheating but then again what the doc pointed out she was in effect a very weak person so even if he had stopped her she would have done it again. Should have filed for divorce immediately when he heard the plans, that would have woke her up. Good writing though.

ROTTEN FISH...

The skank Bella says only a real man accepts his wife fucking other men. She says God is in control and SHE will impose he will. She

says love and honor but forgets all about forsaking all others!

Sadly the ploy of our hero being injured and has to be looked after by the cheater has been used numerous times, none of them including this one ever work. So much so that I’m amazed an author of RG’s abilities lowered himself to using such an obvious contrivance.

Well, this story took an unexpected turn.

1. Frank's felony conviction would have destroyed him, but instead we get a bizarre extortion plot leading to a temporary DA position.

2. Pat was described as immature and I expected his growth to be the focus, but we instead have the focus on Laura's insecurity (really?!).

3. Unending counseling is counteracted by withdrawing the divorce petition and simply leaving Laura and moving back to NYC where an exceptional trial attorney with ADA experience is worth (more than) his weight in gold.

4. Instead, now we have an assassination attempt and a deus ex machina reconciliation. Oh well. As the saying goes: "Not my circus; not my monkeys."

Very disappointing RAAC ending. It ruined the whole story.

Any amorous feelings would have been killed during 5 months of being attacked and abused by his wife and the counsellor.

They would have been replaced with anger and bitterness coz his wife, the guilty party, the wrongdoer, was still conducting and he, the innocent victim was still having to dance to her tune. A dead sure recipe for hatred to erupt.

Sorry, the end of this part was rushed out, whereas the crime and election parts were dragged all along. This really went off the rails. Are all female characters devoid of any common sense? Which husband will stay with someone like Laura, who's screwed herself into a higher position? That's the very definition of a white. Sorry, this was awful. 2*

You had a great story going here until you decided to turn your hero into a pussy whipped wimp.

Great Story until this last page . Do I Hear a Cluck Cluck Cluck out their

Still going strong. The question that begs to be answered is when he followed his wife to the cheating rendezvous why didn't he stop and confront them or do something? Was it enough for him to cal the marriage quits after he heard them plotting to meet and have sex? I guess premeditation shows she lost all respect for him and the her prime focus was was making partner basically making her a whore. Sex for money or career advancement is the same thing. In my mind pride had nothing to do with the split, a promise was mad and the promise was broken ending the marriage. There are no justifications or excuses but that is proven wrong everyday in this world with a divorce rate that is unacceptable.

Quote I intend to get him out. I bet this killer lawyer is another Rickman happily overcome by his Patterson sodomized woman who played him the cuckold from the beginning.

Don't really like Pat potentially or partially crippled. Hoping for full recovery. Mixed feelings about Laura

First off, love your voice here as an author. I have some gripes ofc, like how you can't use a comma to save your life, but I always like reading your stuff. Well, almost always. This was a Fail.

Others have detailed much of what went wrong so I'll just concur. But like a wise man said, "Not my monkeys" =)

Yeah, no. Patrick is not at all responsible for his cheating wife's decision to sleep her way to the position she wanted. I was reading this story because it seemed to be leading away from the typical clichés that somehow make it okay that his wife cheated on him, and that he's somehow not being a real man by being okay with it. Of course the previous chapter had a major red flag when the lawyers in the wife's side said he was being immature, but this is ridiculous. I'm going to finish the rest of the story, and hope it gets better, but I'm not expecting it to.

I fail to see how Pat could be partly to blame as he knew from the first fuck who, where, and why. He knew after overhearing the plan for a Wed. fuck date by his wife. In his words, he was afraid to bring it up prior to the Wed. liaison. I believe his cowardness is a mental defect, untreatable and he paid the price. She is a slut, similar to my first wife, climbing the success ladder and after attaining the goal, is fucking miserable today. Just my personal view. Loving the series!

Nice story but bullshit, this guy would never have reconciled. He knows and dear wifey knows she will open her legs for some fuckwit at the drop of a hat so no there would be no reconciliation

You ruined it with the divorce dismissal. Just because he was incapacitated doesn't mean that the ONLY choice was to dismiss the divorce ao that his future ex wife could take care of him.

Furthermore, why would he take her back now? The change in the character is too big. He's no longer a strong man he's a weak man, clearly only thinking with his dick and willing to accept vwing cuckolded as long as he gets pussy.

I do not know what the commentators always blaspheme. We know that this author loves cuckolding and allows it in his stories. So what are you upset about? He is and will always be a cuckold fan.

Darn, your tale started out so strong and had me hooked. Somewhere along the way it lost its intensity and my enthusiasm. Still, a good tale. Thanks!

Good so far. I find myself rooting for the cunt. I just think she has too much to offer her husband and I don’t really mean sexually.

Bill S.

So even a hotshot lawyer can be a pussy whipped cuck.

Story is still not over. LP

The writing is excellent.

But the story falls apart completely at the first interactions with the therapist.

It just makes no sense. I read to that point and then had to come and comment. I'll go back and finish, but c'mon.

His wife...who pretty much admits to being a whore...selling sex to a senior partner/her boss for her own partnership. So she can make more money and amass more power...that is exactly the definition of a whore. She and the senior partners in her law firm "arrange" for the judge hearing their divorce action, with a signed settlement agreement ready btw, to stall the action and order counseling. With a counselor/therapist who lives hours away?

Which is a load of horseshit. No way could any argument be made to any judge anywhere that a party to a divorce must attend the therapy in the middle of the work day taking at least 8 hours out of his work week and having to travel hundreds of miles. He IS a fucking ADA!! What can the judge do if he goes political through his boss the actual county DA or goes to the state and makes a complaint to the judgicial ethics/state bar association? He cannot be compelled to HAVE to go to therapy at the cost of an entire work day in order to travel. It's a clear hardship. And what? There are no marriage counselors in Albany? Horseshit.

Then there is the first session of counseling. By her machinations he's forced to be there. My guess is after the hearing with the judge he'd be seething. His heart would harden against her even more. And on top of that think about his day. He'd get up. Get ready. Try and get a bit of work done before having to lose almost the entire rest of his work day to get on a train and then go to therapy he doesn't want to do. He'd be sitting on that train the entire time just boiling...resentful. Angry as fuck. And it's clear he IS a litigator. Meaning he's excellent at arguing. Excellent and finding weaknesses in others explanations. Excellent at the intense back and forth that would happen in therapy. Excellent at hiding emotion. Shielding his reactions. Playing up drama. Setting others up.

So he walks into this situation and he's gonna let this cunt of a therapist tell him first thing "just set aside your pride and take some of the blame for your wife whoring herself out"?!

It's laughable.

His reaction in real life would be exactly this. In front of his wife and this therapist who he doesn't know and doesn't care about at all he'd say mechanically with as little emotion as possible. "Listen bitch. I'm here only to comply. And within a week or two I won't have to come back because I've filed complaints against 'judge Rocky' for ordering me to come all the way here and lose an entire work day. It's an extreme hardship and everyone knows it. It won't stand up to scrutiny and as soon as the state bar and the state ethics people see it and have to address it...we won't be meeting any more. So how's that for pride? Until then? I'll just sit here and let you and this whore drone on and on about how sorry she is for having been a whore. And about how she whored herself for me and for us to give us more money and a better life. But don't expect a lot of constructive interaction from me. Ok pumpkin?"

I guarantee you...that reaction or a similar one? Would pretty much stop all therapy with this idiotic therapist from then on out.

Seriously what's the judge gonna do? Argue publicly that going to therapy in NYC is a necessary thing? Google tells me it's over 3 hours car ride one way from Albany to NYC. And about 2 hours and 50 minutes by train?

The entire storyline breaks down at that point. And NY as a state is the exact same as every other state. The courts that have jurisdiction over family law are fucking full. It's a never ending slate...like a factory. In and out. Next one. Next one. Next one. This judge has a SIGNED settlement agreement for the divorce. An agreement signed by 2 practicing attorneys! They understood it when they signed it. Nobody can disagree with that. I don't care how good the wife's attorney is. In a no fault state...with a signed agreement? Both parties informed? "Bang" the gavel goes down and the judge yells to the baliff "who is next?".

I'm gonna finish reading the series. It's compelling writing. I just don't believe his reactions anymore. It's like part of the time he's this uber intelligent super competent trial attorney. And others he is just sort of along for the ride letting others manipulate him when he clearly doesn't have to be manipulated. So it sort of comes across that he is suffering from sort of mental, psychological or emotional deficiency?

Ughh...yuck.

What a spineless jelly fish this MC turned out to be.

His wife is a repulsive sociopath. Don't care how much sex appeal she has.

My ex wife is supposedly "hot" according to my friends. But she cheated and more importantly turned into a spiteful and unapologetic bitch. We divorced. And now to me? She is absolutely repulsive. I would not touch her with someone else's dick let alone be able to get hard with her.

When you love someone absolutely. And they betray you at the level this stupid wife character did? It immediately turns to hate. And no level of horniness is gonna change it. She comes to your bed in a black nighty? Call her a whore and ask her if that's the slutty lingerie she wore when she whored herself out for a job? I guarantee the "mood" will be broken and she'll run crying from the room and then you won't have to worry about procreating with a mentally deranged skank.

Who would want to have a baby with this absolute horror of a woman?

Again I speak from experience, the women always win the battle of the sexes. Keep going Mr. Gerald, the second and third readings are just as good if not better. 5 stars again and again.

I been really liking this story but this is my worst review chapter thus far. You just keep heaping shit onto this good man, the fact that he is fictional is beside the point. So he loses the election, has an attempt on his life, has a stroke, is cripple at least partially for the rest of his life, and somehow her lawyers got a divorce dismissed while he was hospitalized? Is that even possible? How could they disregard one parties wishes arbitrarily? Then to add insult to severe injury she beds him while he is weak and knocks herself up. So now he is stuck with her? With someone who has no respect for him or for fidelity? In all honesty his life seems like hell on earth to me.

I was quite liking this story, but it got weirdly racial.

It's always distracting and a bit uncomfortable when stories go "and they were all black!"

Doubly disappointing for this one, because it's a genuinely good yarn.

Just let the baddies be the baddies, don't make it weird.

Ok. I like this author. I like this series. It's actually one of my favorites. Read it a few years ago.

But I have to find fault at this point of the story. It falls apart.

"It would be a shame to throw away a chance at help because of pride," she said."

This is the start of the very first conversation they have in counseling.

The response written by the author is...inadequate. Glaringly so.

This is an attorney who got outmanuvered by his faithless wife's law firm. He has the agreement signed. To order counseling at that point is by the judge...is unusual to the point of being unethical.

His wife IS an attorney. She understood what she was signing.

The counseling is nonsense. And they are forcing him to give up half a work day to travel and have this ridiculous counseling.

His wife and her law firm are playing games. He just paid $100 to sit on a crowded train losing his work time going somewhere he does not want to go while his cheating wife plays into these games. His patience would be shot. His tolerance levels would be down to zero.

For her (the counselor) to immediately start talking about how this was partly his fault and he needs to be responsible for part of the breakdown of rhe marriage? Right off the bat?

This attorney is going to go into this seething a little bit. He's going to be unwilling to really participate. And he's going to lay the groundwork right off the bat about what he thinks about this circus. He's going to play the same game his bitch of an ex wife is playing. It's not about him being a Neanderthal or stubborn or anything. He is simply going to make it perfectly clear feom his first I traction with this idiotic counselor and his whore of a wife. "I don't want to be here. This is a waste of time. I'm not really going to contribute a whole lot. I'll be here but I have zero faith it's going to change a God damned thing."

How does he do that? Easily. She lobbed a softball right at the beginning with her statement above.

This guy wouldn't have meekly just rolled with it all.

He'd have established where he was at immediately to both of these women and said something like-

"Well...when your wife decides she's gonna fuck her boss to get ahead...and turns into the corporate whore she has always been? Not even keeping it a secret amongst her colleagues...just to get a partnership? Hmmm...sleeping with a partner in order to get a promotion...betraying her marriage vows? That is the very definition of a corporate whore...making her husband a n unwilling laughingstock of a cuckold? Well...all that's left to that man is his pride. If he loses his pride? Then he has nothing. Because he certainly does not have an equal marriage partner any more now does he? Just a lying disrespectful cunt he used to married to and used to love."

I guarantee...he'd have something very close to that ready to say...especially if he's as good a trial lawyer as the author has painted him to be here.

That's how he'd start this dialogue off. That's how most men would respond. Eseentially when a wife publicly emasculated her husband...she has lost all respect for him...what's left to that man? His pride. You take that away? He's less than a man. End of discussion about "pride".

This therapist would be put on notice from the VERY first to stop talking about "pride" like it's a bad thing for a cheated on man to have.

Good God who actually buys that he isn't due a little pride in trying to reclaim some respect from a scheming deceitful cunt who slept her way to the top?

It's unacceptable. It's horrific behavior. It shows an incredible character flaw in someone. Yet here is a recognized therapist evidently trying to put equal responsibility for the end of a marriage onto him?

And he is just going to nod his head and suffer through this? I doubt it. Highly doubt it. He has all the righteous indignation on his side. He's a trial attorney. He thrives in arguing. In oral arguments. Winning point by point. He's not going to take being spoken to by this therapist like this when she's so obviously wrong.

Sorry. That's nonsense. It's not believeable.

He'd never allow himself to be spoke to in this manner. It's kind of a major flaw in the story at this point. The author starts to use the therapy as the basis for reconciliation...slowly...but to move it in that direction. And really...in real life...therapy only works if you have 2 people whole heartedly really wanting to reconcile.

These two really don't even have the basis of a good and equal relationship. Her sleeping around pretty much destroyed any trust.

And later in this story she morphs from competent alpha female attorney into a pretty pathetic figure who schemes and then can't even take care of her most basic human needs. It's kind of a wierd turn. And it starts here...with this lopsided nonsensical counseling sessions.

No way he doesn't tell this therapist to go fuck herself inside of the first 3 one on one sessions.

I'm calm and cold fish in my business face. 30 plus years of finance and sales. I don't react even when the place is burning down.

But if a counselor that I didn't care about...in therapy sessions I did not want to attend anyway...is relentless in his/her attacks upon me and my character? I have zero problem letting them experience my emotional side and telling them where they can take their opinions. When not laughing at their attempts to try and analyze me...I'd be prone to emotional outbursts telling him/her they could take their opinions about my pride and "shove them straight up your fat ass." Repeatedly. We'd get no where fast. And thus would end this ridiculous mandated counseling.

and this is wher ei stop reading was a great story till you pussied out and oh she stopped the divorce and got pregnant. killed the story right there. sad another author i thought was gonan be good only to end up on the avoid their stories list.

Give us all a break with the "when she wants to turn up the heat, I am helpless" bullshit.

Nobody wants to make a baby with a whore. And that's what this cunt is. A whore.

She feels bad for being a whore that one time. But she was only a whore for the good of her family. She was the whore with a heart of gold.

She'll never be a whore again...until the next time what has to whore herself again for her career and family. And she'll feel bad for having to be a whore again. But she'll do it because being a whore is natural for a whore.

This is not who anyone procreates with.

I don't know which one of them is more pathetic.

The whore with zero ethics or the dumbass who let's her rape his baby into her diseased cunt.

It kind of makes you sick...even if it's just fiction...to think about a child brought into the world with these people as it's parents.

Good series, but it really started to go off the rails here. Judge ordered counseling AFTER she has already signed the agreement? The counseling so far away? And of course the completely unethical behavior of the counselor. Not to mention his responses to the counselor don't sound like a prosecutor. I see the author is trying to legitimize a reconciliation but it really fell flat here. Just really went off the rails.

Well done.

How sad. A great beginning slowly but surely devolves into a reconciliation. I know it's only a story but surely no sane man would reconcile with this whore to say nothing about the 'kindly uncle' Saul character... out to screw over the MC... I think that readers want to see guilty parties get what they deserve and stories that fail to deliver on that premise create disonance

I don’t like the way it ended. She got everything she wanted. She cheated and he let her get her way in the end

You lied when you said that there were no cucks here.

The Psychiatrist manipulated and kept manuevering Pat into believing that there was something wrong with his pride in order to convince him to let go of it so he would fall prey to Laura's psychopathy once again... at least it didn't work then... however, since he was too weak in his sexual needs and desires his pride fell and he lost... which was a real loss for the man and the story.

Good writing....poor wimp story

In defense of genuine marriage.

I hate that the author thinks it's okay for wives to cheat on their husbands as long as they truly "love" them, and are repentant. It's repeated again and again in every story. In essence; "What you didn't know didn't hurt you." "It was just sex, I love you." Cheater's mantras. Fucking pathetic if you ask me. No, wives do not have an inherent right to fuck around on their husbands. The main point of marriage is that two become one, meaning the highest level of trust and fidelity is expected that is possible in human life. The betrayal of this means the end to the foundation of the marriage. The result is that the best that they can hope for in the future is fuck buddies. She'll get whatever strange she feels entitled to, and he gets the scraps. Not a genuine marriage.

I hated Susan's line about them being human for having a swap orgy. The implication is that all humans fuck around on their spouses. Yes, many do, but some humans have a higher standard and actually live by it. This is why people marry, because they are making a commitment to one person. It's not a temporary living arrangement, where partners are fluid. People who are faithful are just as human as those who are not. They have actually developed self control, and are not governed by the whims of their pussy or cock. They actually do love their spouse and realize the impact of any potential betrayal. In a sense, all marriages have a element of sacrifice. Each proper spouse is at minimum "sacrificing" all other potential intimate relationships that they could have enjoyed, and confining themselves to only one person.

Really didn't like this.

That was a stupid deus ex machina in what had been a good story. I hate those cheap ploys.

Fan-fucking-tastic writing. You are a gifted writer and story teller. Ignore the insects with their tiny complaints.

I thought episode 1 had the makings of a good story but was so poorly edited ir was difficult to read. I was surprised, therefore, to find episode 2 substantially more readable. Unfortunately, episode 3 has fallen back to the level of episode 1. I have given three stars to each episode, so far, because there really is a good story hiding amongst all the run-on sentences, incorrect words, and questionable organization.

I don't know how an author on this site acquires the services of an editor like blackRandi, but I wish this author would look into it.

To the anonymous commenter, three or four posts back: So, you think redemption and forgiveness should be removed from the world? In response, look up John 8:7, then look yourself in the mirror. The world could do with a lot more redemption and forgiveness and a lot less your hypocrisy.

Lost one star for his weakness 4****

This story is pretty solid. Every time I think reconciliation is in the works, you hit us with another curve ball. Great job with the characters as well. You've managed to make them likeable as well as unlikable. You feel for the MC and condone his revenge, but he's constantly doing dumb shit and second guessing himself. Then you hate the wife, then you think her to be sincere and feel some sympathy, but then she does something as shitty as force a pregnancy. Nice touch. I do however, kind of hate how everyone's trying to bully him into reconciliation. Not the story part of it - setting it up like it's the whole world against him. I'm just saying it's easy to hate the characters that are doing so. Also a nice touch. Good job, mate.

Ewww I hate the ending. Laura is SUPER toxic. If she loved pat so much she'd stop the manipulations.