Dani

"What about those over there?" Avery asked pointing a rack about 20 feet away.

"Those are our cashmere blends. Very pretty. Very chic. Would you like to see them?"

She pointed to some that were camel colored and started in on her pitch. "These are a wool blend from Anne Klein. They're lined, single-breasted, with a point collar and..."

"I like these. Do you have one in her size?"

"Of course," she said pulling one off the rack that seemed to be maybe half of what he thought a coat should look like. She handed it to him and he gave it a quick look before handing it back.

"That's perfect. I'll take it. Oh, and that first one? The lighter material thing that was a kind of light gray or something?"

"Uh-huh," she said leading him back that way.

"Let me get one of those, too. This one might be too heavy for some days."

"I agree. A girl needs a range of choices. Personally? I love both of these. I'm sure she will, too."

"I hope so. I don't really know her all that well. All I know is she doesn't even have a coat so I thought I'd help out."

"Wow. You're a very nice man." She glanced at the ring on his finger then said, "I hope your wife appreciates what a great guy you are." She smiled then grabbed one of the lighter coats and took him to a register.

"Okay, will this be on your Nordstroms card today?"

"No. Visa."

She rang him up and the total was $372.16 with tax. She hung them on some bar thing then put a clothing bag around them and said, "Okay. You're all set."

Avery shook his head as he took the bag. He didn't care about the money as he had no one and no thing on which to spend what he had. He was just amazed at how expensive something like a couple of coats were. He had no idea he'd gotten off easy nor did he care.

He walked out of the store and made a direct line for the exit when he heard someone call his name. "Mr. Avery?"

He turned around and there was Dani, wearing the same clothes she'd worn to the meeting except that her blouse had been replaced by a black tee-shirt.

"Dani! Hey, there. This is a pleasant surprise. Are you working?"

"Yes. Well not yet. I start my shift in ten minutes. I couldn't believe it when I saw you. I mean, what are the odds of bumping into you twice in the same week?"

"Very low," Avery said with a smile. "Listen. I don't want you to think I'm weird or anything."

"I don't," she said. "I think you're nice." Her smile was actually very pretty. Yes, her teeth were a bit...large, but it was still very...nice.

"Well, you might. Just know I mean well. You told me you don't have a coat and you were freezing the other night so..." He held out the bag and handed it to her.

"What's this?" she asked not sure if she should take it.

"Oh, here. Let me show you." He unzipped it and pulled it open. "I couldn't stop thinking about how cold it is and you not having a coat so...I wanted you to have these."

"They're beautiful. Oh, my gosh. They're gorgeous," she said touching them admiringly. "But they're too expensive, Mr. Avery. I...I can't. I love them, but I just can't."

"Is it the money or that I'm an old many buying a pretty girl he barely knows a present?"

"Pretty? Ha! That's nice of you to say, but I know what I look like. The gift part isn't weird or anything. It's really very thoughtful. No one's ever done anything like this for me before. It's just that these are crazy expensive. I was saving up for a down-filled coat. You know. Something that goes for maybe $50 or so at WalMart."

"Well, if it's just the money, then I'd like you to have them, Dani. I'm not Bill Gates or anything. I'm nowhere near being rich, but well, I don't exactly have a family now so it would make me very happy knowing you had something warm to wear. I really don't care about the money at all. So if you don't, either, would you please take them?"

"Wow. Are you sure? I mean, these are really nice, Mr. Avery. I love them, but I don't have anything to wear with them. I...I don't really have a lot of nice clothes." The truth was, Dani didn't own a single item of clothing she could call 'nice'.

"Well, we could change that, too. Why don't you let me take you shopping when you get off work today?" he said out of the blue.

Dani's smile faded and was replaced by a look of confusion. He saw her eyes move left then right and then down. Just as suddenly as his offer was blurted out, Dani said, "I gotta go, Mr. Avery. It was really nice talking to you. See you later, okay? Bye." She spun around on her black and white tennis shoes and strode off.

"Dani! Wait. I wasn't trying to..." She was already fifty feet away and walking as fast as she could. Avery stood there holding the garment bag feeling like the fool he was.

"Jesus, Alan. What were you thinking? No, that's the problem. You weren't thinking."

He sheepishly went back into Nordstroms and told the same girl he needed to return both coats.

"Oh, did you need a different size?" she asked hopefully.

"No, the size was fine. I just need some help with..." he said causing her to think he was going to need her help.

He spent the rest of the weekend alone except for a brief visit from his supervisor who asked what was wrong.

"Nothing really. I just misread a social situation and felt like a first-class fool. No big deal. Hey, listen. I really appreciate you checking on me like this, but you don't need to keep stopping by. I'm fine. Really."

"Alan, I wish you'd think seriously about...well, about moving. This place...it...it can't be good for you with, you know, what happened to Beverly."

"Yes, but it's also my connection to Aaron," he said without sounding defensive. "This is where we lived. I'm not sure I'm ready to give that up. Maybe someday, though."

"Okay, you know what's best for yourself to include me leaving you alone. I just want you to know I'm here for you if you need a friend, okay?"

Avery thanked him and walked him to the door where he said, "Life is funny sometimes. Not that long ago I had a wife and a family. It wasn't perfect by any means, but along with work, it was my life. My parents are both gone, I don't have brothers or sisters, and now I have no family. This just isn't how I pictured my life turning out, you know."

"Yes, I do. I can't say I've been through the anything even close, but having been divorced twice and one of those due to my wife cheating with my former best friend, I do know things can change pretty quickly. I've also learned that how well we adapt to those changes has a lot to do with how happy we feel. I know it takes time to process something like the kind of losses you've experienced, but at some point, we really do have to move on."

Avery shook his hand and thanked him then said. "I agree. I'm just not sure what 'moving on' looks like yet."

The other man slapped him on the shoulder and said, "You're a smart guy, Alan. Whenever you do see it, you'll know. Until then, just bide your time and keep looking. Oh, and be willing to look 'outside the box', as they say."

Avery closed the door and thought about his friend's advice. It sounded good, but he had no idea what that even meant because he had no idea what 'box' he'd been looking in. Hell, he wasn't even aware he had a box let alone that it was something he looked at.

For a brief moment, he envied Bev. Maybe she hadn't taken the coward's way out. Maybe she'd made the most rational, logical decision a grieving mother who felt her marriage was empty and meaningless could make. And then he felt like shit as he blamed himself for having somehow driven her to such desperate measures. The feeling was mercifully fleeting as he knew he couldn't be responsible for how anyone else acted or reacted to the curveballs life threw at them. No, that had been his wife's decision and hers alone. Still, he felt like bad for her which was how he mostly felt about his entire life. Screwing things up with Dani just proved his point.

"Okay. That's enough," he said out loud. "Get your sorry ass up and do something."

He changed into workout clothes then went into his nicely-equipped home gym and slowly began working his way back to some previous level of fitness. He knew he'd be sore after the long layoff, but other than spending time with his son, this was the only thing he'd ever known that had helped him work through the stress and frustrations of this crazy thing he called his life.

Every muscle in his body ached for several days and yet he was grateful for the physical pain as it helped him not dwell on the mental anguish of his losses or on having made such an inappropriate offer to a young girl he didn't really even know. In spite of the distraction of the pain in his body, Avery still beat himself up for it several times and by the day of the next meeting it was really eating at him.

He was torn between deciding to never go back and let the whole thing go away or doing the right thing and facing Dani and apologizing to her. She was only 20 and she must have been deeply disturbed, confused, and maybe even sickened by some guy her father's age saying something that profoundly inappropriate and even...stupid.

He knew he had to go back to the church and apologize and yet he was secretly hoping Dani would be the one to never return and that would be that. But after having stuck his foot so deeply in his mouth, he had to be the adult and face the music. If he was lucky, she might tell him it was no big deal, and then could put that mess behind him.

And that's when he remembered he'd offered to pick her up. "Shit!" he said out loud as he headed home. He brooded about that for the next couple of hours. She either didn't have a phone or he didn't have her number, and he knew her grandmother didn't so he couldn't even call.

"Shit!" he said again as he headed toward her place.

He pulled up to where he'd dropped her off and waited. He thought about going inside but the shabby apartment complex was very large and he had no idea where she lived. He waited for 15 minutes then pulled away not sure if he was happy or disappointed. He nearly bagged the meeting, but decided he'd go this one last time in the event Dani might show up. Then again, what did it really matter? He didn't have an answer to that question beyond feeling the need to make things right.

Pastor Priest met him again as he walked in and said, "It's good to see you again, Mr. Avery. I hope this has been a help to you."

Avery shook his hand and smiled but didn't respond to his comment. It hadn't helped at all. It had only opened fresh wounds, making things worse. Either way, he had no intention of ever coming back again. He was tempted to get up and leave when he saw her.

She made eye contact with him almost immediately and Avery smiled weakly at her and kind of raised his hand in a wave hello. She gave him the same weak smile back then headed to the other side of the room and took a seat. He wanted to talk to her right then and there but the priestly pastor called the meeting to order and he'd missed his opportunity.

When the hour finally ended, he saw Dani get up and start to walk out. One way or the other he wasn't going to let her leave until he apologized. He couldn't help but notice she was wearing the same black...everything again.

"Dani! Can you please wait?" he called as she was almost out the door. He caught up to her and said, "I don't blame you for being upset with me. I was completely out of line and I owe you an apology. I'm very sorry."

She stopped walking and turned toward him. "What? I don't understand," she said. "Why are you apologizing when I insulted you?"

"Okay, I'm completely lost here," Avery told her. "How do you think you insulted me?"

"You...you made this really amazing offer and I just ran away." She tried looking at him but couldn't. "I...always do that. I get scared about stuff."

"I really have no idea what you're talking about, Dani. What am I missing?"

"I ran away. At the mall. And then I was so embarrassed I left the apartment early so I wouldn't have to see you."

"You did?" he asked trying to piece this together. "But you came here tonight so...I'm still confused."

"Everyone says that when they talk to me. I'm not very good with people."

She still hadn't looked at him. She was standing next to him with her arms wrapped under her armpits, her black sweater pulled tight.

"Can we maybe start over?" he asked. "Is it possible...would you maybe let me take you for a cup of coffee or something so we could talk?"

"Oh, I don't drink coffee," she said.

"Okay, how about some hot chocolate instead? This has been bothering me all week and it's not gonna go away until I know you don't think I'm some kind of...pervert."

"Pervert? Now I'm totally lost. Maybe it would help if we talked. I just need to let my grandma know, okay? Will we be very long?" she asked finally looking at him for a moment.

"No. I don't think so. No more than half an hour. Maybe less. Just a cup of chocolate and I'll take you right back home."

They hadn't said a word on the way to her apartment so Avery asked, "How was work this week?"

"Oh, it was fine. I guess."

Getting little help, Avery followed up. "How many hours do you work each week?"

"Sometimes close to 30. More than that and they have to pay for some kind of healthcare or something. I don't really understand it."

"Obamacare," he told her. "If you work more than that, they have to offer you health insurance. Many employers limit their employees numbers of hours because of that."

"Oh, okay," Dani said in response not understanding what he'd just told her.

They drove the rest of the way in silence, then Dani told him she'd just be a 'sec' when he pulled up without parking or even turning the car off. She was back in less than a minute and said, "Okay. My grandma said it's fine, but I can't be late."

He wasn't about to try and get into the dynamic of her relationship with her grandmother. It just seemed rather unusual that a 20-year old young woman would have to get permission to be out an extra half hour, but he let it pass without comment.

"Is Starbucks okay?" he asked having passed one a couple of blocks back.

"Oh, sure," she said.

They went inside, got their drinks, and sat down.

"Okay, what I was trying to say was that I realized how inappropriate it was for me to offer to take you shopping. Just buying you a coat let alone two of them, was presumptuous of me. You must have thought I was some kind of weird old man."

Dani took a first sip then said, "I never thought that. Why would I?" she said. "You were being nice. I was the weirdo. I always do weird stuff when I don't know what to do."

"Dani, you didn't do anything weird or wrong. Why would you think that?" he asked still thoroughly confused.

"Because after I thought about it, it made sense. You're a very nice man and you were just trying to be nice to me. But when you said you wanted to take me shopping, I had that sick feeling I always get."

"What feeling is that?" Avery asked assuming it was when older men said inappropriate things.

She was still looking at her cup when she said, "You know, like when I like a boy and then I think maybe he likes me and I get scared and I either say something stupid or I run. I didn't want to say anything dumb so I just ran away. I...I always do that when I like someone."

"Dani? I'm the adult. Okay, you're technically an adult too, but it's not normal for a man of any age to offer to take a girl or a woman of any age shopping, unless he knows he very well. I didn't think before I said it. I just felt so bad that you didn't have a coat and then when you said you didn't have any nice things to wear with it, I just blurted it out. And I felt like...like a fool all week. That's why I needed to talk to you and to apologize."

"Oh," was all she said in response.

"Are you upset with me?" he asked not sure how to read her.

"No," she said shaking her head and staring at her cup.

"Then what's wrong?" he asked more confused than he was before they set down.

"Oh, nothing," she replied.

"Dani?" he said waiting for her to look at him. "I want you to know you can talk to me. You're a very nice girl and I like you very much so please don't think you can't tell me what you're feeling."

"I like you, too," she said before looking away.

"Well, see! That's a good thing, right?"

"I just to don't want to say the wrong thing. I always do that."

"You can't say the wrong thing, Dani. Not if you tell me what you're really feeling. As long as you're honest, it can't be the wrong thing, right?"

"I want to go shopping with you," she said without moving her eyes.

"You what?" he asked not sure he'd heard her correctly.

"I like you, too, Mr. Avery, and I want to go shopping with you."

Avery didn't speak for a moment and out of nowhere Dani said, "You can take me home now. I know I just said the wrong thing again. I always say the wrong thing. I get nervous and then I do that."

"All right, first of all, you didn't say anything wrong, okay? Second, I would love to take you shopping, as long as you know it's just shopping. I'm not doing it because I...you know...expect something in return. Does that make any sense?"

"So you don't like me?" she asked still playing with her cup.

"Dani, I like you very much. You're a really nice girl and you knew Aaron. I just wanted to do something nice for you. Okay?"

"Okay." She sat there for a few seconds then said, "I got confused again. I...I thought you liked me."

Finally, the light came on. Or at least Avery thought it did.

"You mean as in like you like you?"

"See, I always get things wrong. I get everything wrong when it comes to boys. I think we really should go now."

For the first time, Avery understood what was going on, and it was exactly the opposite of what he'd assumed. She not only wasn't upset with him, she evidently had some kind of...crush...on him. Moved with compassion, he reached out for her free hand.

"Dani? That is perhaps the nicest thing I've ever heard."

"It is?" she asked as her limp hand lay in his. "That I get everything all mixed up?"

"No. Not that. I had no idea you thought my offer was, you know, more than just being friendly."

"Now I feel foolish," she told him.

"Hey, don't say that," he told her. "It's really...sweet. I'm flattered."

"You are?" she said cutting her eyes his way without turning her head.

"Well, of course I am. What guy my age wouldn't be? It's not ever day a pretty girl your age thinks a guy like me is..." He stopped then said, "I'm not really sure what it is you think of me."

"I really like you," she said again. "I...like you like you."

"Okay, then I really am flattered," he assured her. "But I'm more than twice your age, Dani. I'm 42 years old and you're 20."

"I'm almost 21," she said seriously. "I'll be 21 in December."

Avery managed not to laugh. Hurting her feelings was the last thing he wanted to do.

"I guess I could take you out for a drink on your birthday. I mean, if you don't have any other plans," he said jokingly.

"I don't drink alcohol," she said. "But I don't have any plans, so we could try that. I've always wanted to taste beer or wine."

"Oh. Okay. Well, then we'll definitely do that," he said as he slowly moved his hand away.

"Did you still want to take me shopping?" she asked him. It was so pure and so innocent. There was no interest in her part in getting stuff. She simply wanted to know if he'd meant what he said.

"Yes. Yes, I do," he told her. "I'd like that very much. When would you like to go?"

"I don't work this Sunday," she told him. "I could go with you then."

"Okay. Sunday it is. What time shall I pick you up?"

"The mall doesn't open until noon on Sundays."

"All right. How about I come by at noon then?"