Dani

"Really?" she asked looking over at him for the first time.

"Yes. Really," he said smiling at her.

"Okay," she said smiling back. "I mean, if you're sure you want to."

"I'm sure, Dani. In fact, I'm already looking forward to it." She looked back at her cup and Avery said, "Would you like some more or should we maybe get you home?"

"I should probably go. I don't want to be late. My grandma gets really upset when I'm late."

On the ride home, it was like a dam had broken. Dani talked the entire way. Most of it was about her memories of Aaron for as far back as she could remember. Avery's eyes misted up as she retold stories he'd heard from Aaron and he laughed at those he hadn't heard before.

He pulled up to the same place he'd let her out before. She was still bubbling over with enthusiasm and in the light of a street lamp over the top of his car he couldn't help but think she was a potentially very pretty girl. She was socially awkward, but as sincere and honest as the day was long.

"Mr. Avery?" he finally heard her say.

"I'm sorry, Dani. What were you saying?"

"I just said I had a really nice time tonight."

"Oh. Um, me too, Dani. I'm glad we talked. I was so worried you thought I was...creepy."

"No, you're not creepy," she said. "You're not creepy. You're...cute."

Avery laughed until he realized he'd just hurt her feelings. "Dani. I wasn't laughing at you. It's just that I'm so much older."

She stopped talking and was looking down again. "Dani, please don't be upset with me." She didn't move or speak so he reached out for her hand again. She didn't offer hers nor did she resist when he took it. "I'm very sorry. You've been so much fun and I really enjoyed talking with you. I had a nice time, too."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes. Really," he told her.

She went to open her door and Avery said. "Hold on. Let me get that for you. You just sit tight, okay?"

He went around and opened her door then offered her his hand. She stood up next to him and said, "No one's ever done that for me before."

"Opened your door? Really? Not even on a date?"

"I've never been a date before. I said I did, but it wasn't a real date. I went with a my friend, Lisa, to hang out with her boyfriend and another guy once, but that wasn't really a date. I guess this was my first one," she said her tone of voice changing again.

Avery didn't have the heart to burst her bubble. He'd made things right with her and he'd make good on his promise of offering to buy her a few things; things she clearly needed for the winter and then he could start trying to put the pieces of his life back together. The life he realized no longer existed.

"Well, take care, Dani, and I guess I'll see you Sunday around noon."

"Okay, Mr. Avery. Oh, and thank you for the hot chocolate. It was really good."

"You're very welcome," he told her with a genuine smile.

"So...g'night," she said. Before he could react she put her hands on his chest and kissed him on the cheek then turning quickly away and walking quickly toward the entrance. "See you Sunday!" she called back.

Avery lay awake in bed wondering why he was allowing this to continue. From his perspective, it really was all very innocent. A young woman who needed some winter things didn't have the money to buy them and he did. In turn, she had memories; precious, irreplaceable memories of the person he'd love more than any other. He honestly didn't believe he was using her, and yet that wasn't the real issue. The real issue was the way Dani was suddenly taking this unreasonable interest in him and it just seemed wrong.

For as long as he could remember Avery had always done the right thing. He had a paper route as a boy. He'd made Eagle Scout. He'd gone to college. He had a respectable job. He'd even toughed it out in a marriage most men would have bailed on years ago. And he'd raised an incredible son. Was it really that wrong to enjoy this young woman's...this...girl's company for a while? As long as she was willing to spend time with him, was this really that big a deal?

The part of him that always did the right thing told him in no uncertain terms that having to even ask the question was his answer. But the part of him that had listened to that voice all those years wanted and desperately needed some kind of human contact. Contact with someone who wasn't deeply complicated or demanding or...selfish or worst of all, pitying him. And the fact that she knew Aaron was, at least for the time being, enough to allow him to justify spending some more time with her. Could she maybe get hurt if she thought he was more than a friend? Well, maybe. Then again, he wasn't leading her on, and he'd made no promises or commitments beyond taking her shopping.

Having justified what he wanted to justify, the warring voices grew silent allowing him to fall into a first really deep sleep since...since...

For the first time in weeks, Avery slept until his alarm clock woke him up. He was both exhausted and refreshed. Having slept nearly nine hours straight explained the refreshed part. Having only average 3-4 hours a night since...he was too tired to even go there...explained the exhausted part.

During lunch, Alan's supervisor walked into his cubicle. "Did I just hear you whistling?" he asked smiling at Avery.

"Was I?" Avery asked completely unaware he had been.

"Big as life. Is this a sign things are maybe looking up?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I slept really well last night. I guess it's possible things don't seem quite so dark. I don't know if it'll last, but it feels so good to feel good again, you know?"

"We're all pulling you for you, my friend. You've had a rough row to hoe and a lot of us aren't sure we could have handled it. For what it's worth, I'm happy for you. And Alan? I'm proud of you. You're a good man."

Avery thanked him but his comment forced him to confront reality again. "Yeah, I'm such a good man I can't stop thinking about someone my son's age; someone I should be pushing away and yet all I can think about is drawing her in. Yeah, I'm just freaking great."

His bout of reality soured his happy mood yet this time he didn't sink back into the depths of despair he'd wallowed in since... Right or wrong, good or bad, he had a spark of hope or at least something that felt like hope. And hope, he decided, was a good thing. He looked at his watch and hoped the rest of the week and Saturday would hurry up and get the hell over.

When Sunday finally called in Northern Virginia, Avery was up early and after a cup of coffee, got in a pretty good workout. He wasn't quite back to where he'd been before taking this extended break, but he was feeling strong again and the workout plus a hot shower and a good breakfast set the tone for what he hoped would be an enjoyable afternoon with Dani.

She was standing outside waiting when he drove up. He hadn't checked the temperature but if it was 45 it was 90. As soon as she saw his car, she smiled, waved and ran toward it.

Avery didn't even have time to open the door for her before she was inside.

"Hi, Mr. Avery! I knew you wouldn't forget," she said as she buckled her seat belt.

"No, of course I wouldn't forget, Dani. After all, we made a..." He knew he shouldn't use the word. That voice screamed at him to say something else. It screamed and he ignored it. "A date."

"I know, right? And this is our second!" she said excitedly. Avery couldn't help but notice she was still wearing the very same things.

"Dani? I don't mean to be too personal, but do you have any other clothes? Anything at all?"

"They're not the same clothes because I have two pairs of black pants and I have some different tee-shirts, too. Why? Is there something wrong with them?"

"No. Of course not. I just wanted to know where we're at. For when we start looking at things. That's all."

"Oh, okay. So what do you want me to buy?" she asked while she actually looked at him.

"Me? Oh, no. This is for you, Dani. I want you to buy whatever you like. You know, just go with the style you prefer and we'll fine."

"I don't really have a style," she told him. "I like black...a lot, but other than that, I don't really know what I like. Would you tell me what you like while we're looking?"

"Um, well, sure. I guess I could show you what I like, but as I said this isn't for me. It's for you. I'd like you to get some warm clothes and especially a coat and maybe some gloves and a scarf, but you can get whatever you want, okay?"

Warning bells went off again louder than ever when she said quietly, "I want to look nice for you, Mr. Avery. So whatever you like is fine."

Those same bells went ballistic when she reached out for his hand. He looked down for a moment, searched for some kind of resolve to refuse her offer. Finding none, he took it. Almost immediately the bells went quiet in what he hoped wasn't an ominous sign of of the other proverbial shoe about to drop.

Neither of them spoke any more on the way to the mall. When they arrived, Dani sat and waited for him to open her door. She thanked him when he helped her out and immediately reached for his hand again as they began walking in. For several brief moments he had this sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. A feeling that everyone was watching and talking and snickering. And then he realized they were all alone walking into a shopping mall on a very cold, late-October day.

"It feels so good in here," Dani said. "So where should we start?" she asked excitedly.

"I guess that depends. If you want to go to shops that cater to girls...sorry, young women your age, we should..."

"Uh-uh. I want you to take me to the places you like."

Other than his recent trip, Avery couldn't ever remember going to a mall before. Beverly bought all of his clothes and not having a daughter, he'd had no reason to ever go to one. They were back in front of Nordstroms where he'd bought...and returned the two coats...so he said, "Well, how about we start right here and see how far we get?"

"Cool!" she said talking like a girl her age for the first time Avery could remember.

He smiled but not because what she said was childish, but because seeing her happy made him happy and happiness had been in short supply in his life for a quite some time.

To his great delight, the girl who'd helped him before wasn't working today. An equally young girl greeted them and asked if she could show them anything. Avery waited for Dani to answer her while Dani looked up at him.

"Oh," Alan said. "I guess we want to look at...everything."

The girl smiled and said, "I've worked her for three years and never had anyone say that to me before." She looked at Dani then back at Avery. "Which one of you are we shopping for?"

Avery didn't know there were men's clothes in the store and he almost said, "Duh," but was glad he didn't. "For her," he said instead.

"So...dresses? Skirts? Blouses? Sweaters? Shoes?"

"Yes," Avery said. "Oh, and a coat. She needs a winter coat, too." He looked down at her feet then said, "And some boots and whatever else she'd like, too." And then he wondered what Dani wore underneath her black attire.

He leaned over and whispered to her, "Do you need, you know, under things?"

Dani laughed which really caught Avery off guard.

"Actually, I probably do need bras and panties," she said not whispering.

"Not so loud," Avery said. "We're talking about...you know."

"Oh, okay," she said whispering before addressing the sales associate. "Could we start with bras and panties, please?" Dani called out in her normal voice.

Avery looked over at her with wide eyes. "You did not just say that."

"I did say that," she said playfully, a happy smile on her face. She looked down then said quietly, "I mean, I do need bras. But...it's not like I have boobs or anything."

"Well, alrighty then!" he said imitating Jim Carrey as he dealt with the uncomfortable way he was feeling.

Dani laughed and said, "I love that movie!" Then she said again, "But I really don't have any boobs." She looked at Avery in a pleading kind of way and said, "You probably don't want a girlfriend who doesn't even really need a bra, do you?"

Avery shook his head and said, "Girlfriend? Dani? What...what are you talking about?"

As though a switch had been thrown, Dani's face went pale as she said, "Oh, my God. I did it again. I always get it wrong. You...you don't think of me as your..." Just like before, she spun around and started striding off.

This time, Avery went after her. He caught up to her but she wouldn't slow down. "Dani? Dani, please. Would you please stop? I need to talk to you."

He reached out to gently grab her arm and she pulled it away. "Don't touch me!" she said as she kept walking.

"Dani. Wait!" Avery matched her stride for stride then for reasons he couldn't explain said, "That's not the way a girl treats her boyfriend."

Within two steps, Dani stopped. She stood still staring straight ahead then turned slowly toward him. "Are you?" she said, hurt and pain all over her face. "Are you...my boyfriend?"

Avery looked down and knew he should tell her 'no' but when he looked back up at her he didn't see a tall, awkward girl. He saw a potentially beautiful young woman with a big heart and a lot of love to give.

He looked into her eyes with compassion and concern and said, "I could be. If you want me as a boyfriend."

She was looking at him too, and said, "You've never looked at me like this before."

"Like this?" he said unsure what she meant.

"Yes. Like you're looking at me right now. Like...like you think I'm...pretty." With that, she looked away and down at her feet.

Touched, Avery moved closer and put his hands out hoping she would put hers in them. He waited and then, very slowly, she did just that. "Dani? You are pretty. You just don't know it."

"I've never had a boyfriend before. I've never even been on a real date. I just thought because you were being so nice to me that..."

He moved very close and said quietly, "I would love to be your boyfriend, Dani."

"Really?" she said without looking at him.

"Yes. Really." He turned and lowered his head to make eye contact and waited for her to look at him.

"Do you really mean it this time?" she asked. "Because I always get things wrong, so if I'm not understanding then..."

Ignoring a lifetime of pragmatism and rule following, Avery leaned in and softly kissed her on the lips. Dani's eyes opened wide in amazement and she didn't kiss back. She just there speechless staring right through him.

"I'm not pretty, Mr. Avery. You're very so handsome and I'm...not pretty. Why would you want a girlfriend like me?"

They were standing next to a store called Zoe Salon and Spa and Avery said, "First, you need to start calling me Alan. Second, you just need to see how pretty you really are." He held out his hand and said, "Will you let me show you?"

"I guess," she said taking his hand.

He waited for someone to recognize them and asked if they could possible fit Dani in for a shampoo, cut, and styling.

"You're in luck. I can take her right now," the attractive young woman said. She turned to Dani and said, "Just let me know what you want and I'll get you all taken care of."

"I have to ask my boyfriend," Dani told her. The girl looked around and seeing no one else, finally put two and two together.

"Oh. Oh, okay," she said looking at Avery then back at Dani. "Um...sure. Take your time, sweetie."

Her hair was long, straight, and a bit greasy looking as well as tangled in some places. "What do you want me to do?" she asked.

"Well, your hair is long and if we trim it a little and get it styled, a nice shampoo and blow dry will give it body and shine. Umm. Maybe a side part instead of down the middle?"

"I think soft, wispy bangs would be perfect on her face," the girl said with a smile.

"Does that sound okay?" he asked Dani.

"Sure. If that's what you like."

He turned to the stylist and said, "Do you do makeovers?"

She said they did and he could come back for her in about an hour and a half.

"Okay, so I'll see you then, all right?" he said putting his hands on the back of her upper arms.

"Okay," she said very quietly. Then very suddenly she said, "Would you kiss me again?" She was still looking down so Avery gently lifted her chin and kissed her softly. Dani kissed back this time, but she kissed him like she was kissing her grandmother.

"That was really nice," she said still not looking at him. "I like kissing you, Alan."

"That was nice," he said smiling at her. "I'll be back in 90 minutes, okay? You go with her and she's going to show you just how beautiful you really are."

"K," she said turning away with her head still down.

Not sure what he'd just done or why he'd done it and caring why even less, Avery walked around in a daze for over an hour before he realized he'd passed every store in the mall on both floors but hadn't seen a thing. He saw a sporting good store called Champs and walked in and spent the next half hour remembering the good times with Aaron as he looked at baseball gloves, footballs, and soccer cleats.

He needed to be back to the salon in five minutes so he started making his way there. When he arrived, he saw the young girl who'd helped him and noticed Dani wasn't with her. She saw him, smiled, then said, "She's all ready." She leaned closer then said, "You're not even going to recognize her."

"Really?" Avery said as someone approached in his peripheral vision.

"Hi," he heard Dani's voice say off to his side.

He turned and looked for her, but the girl he saw wouldn't match the girl he was looking for. He stared for a couple of seconds then said, "Dani?"

"Hi," she said again very shyly. "Do you like it?"

He knew she'd look different—and pretty. He just couldn't have envisioned...this. Her hair was thick and full. It was shiny and even looked silky. It was still basically straight, but it had volume and body and a gentle wave in it. The side part and wispy bangs were perfect for her thin face.

The other girl saw him staring and said with pride, "Did I tell you or what? Oh, I also redid her nails at no charge. You know, to match her lipstick. Doesn't she look amazing?"

The makeover made even more of a difference than the hairstyle which had literally transformed her.

"Oh, my goodness," Avery said unable to process the difference.

"Alan? Do you like it?" Dani asked again.

The stylist said, "I took the liberty of putting together the makeup products we used and I can ring them up for you, if you'd like. She helped so she could learn how to do it herself and the quality of the makeup really makes a difference."

Avery was still staring. "Sir? Would you like me to ring up these products along with the cut and makeover?"

He glanced at her and without thinking said, "Um, yeah. Sure. That's fine," then went back to staring at Dani.

"Yes. Yes, I like it very much," he finally said to Dani.

"You were right," she told Avery.

"I was, wasn't I? he said still taking it all in. "You really are very pretty."

"Thank you," she said quietly. "The girl said I would look even nicer without my glasses." She took them off and Avery saw her eyes do something. They didn't cross, they just looked empty.

"That's up to you, Dani. I think you look perfect with them on. But if you want contact lenses..."

"No. This is fine," she said putting them back on. "If you like them better then so do I."

Avery paid no attention to the credit card receipt he signed but it came to over $300. Quality makeup and brushes were expensive, but these were meaningless numbers to him for what the money bought. He handed the girl her pen, and she handed Dani the bag. "Enjoy it, pretty girl!" she said.