All Comments on 'Diary of a CH Pt. 03'

Somewhat of a good ending but not a surprise ending. Not a complete ending but leaves room for more.

Good. Nuff said:)

What more do you all want...BLOOD...He did write a book explaining his side of things. The ending is perfect. NOTHING else to saw...He had filed for DIVORCE...and REALLY....People...It is a work of fiction.

I know it's pointless to complain about a 6 year old story, but why do authors do this? Why end in the middle of the climax? It goes CLIMAX ===> RESOLUTION! Why waste everyone's time with 3 chapters of escalation to just do nothing?

Cowardly end for a cowardly MC

Very good but really needed a denouement very badly.

Unsatisfactory ending. Some authors try to be clever with their endings.

This one flopped

3/5

Umm an ending would be nice. Sigh. What a disappointment. He just cut and ran after his accusation. Well he was kind of a coward. Oh well.

Excellent, with or without an ending.

write a real ending to this story

Good story but the ending was a train wreck. I have an idea why he used thus device but was ill-conceived as it was applied.

Again fantastic story and it was ruined without a true ending. We are not here to make a Ending up that is the writers Job and this one failed completely!

Please finish.

I agree with the other comments it needs another chapter. Well done thanks!!

Sorry this can't be the ending. One more please. 5*****

In My opinion He got His Pound of Flesh and took down the very People who wronged Him in the very BEST way possible in front of everyone Now the question is will the Next book Be His soon to be Ex Wife Dairy?

Seems it ended too soon. Interesting characters and premise. 5 stars. I think it deserves another chapter.

It would have been nice to see the narcissist/cheating whore suffer due to her disregard for the person she was supposed to care for the most.

A very poorly thought out story. An epic failure.

Are all the husbands in your stories such pussywhipped cucks?

It needed a good ending .a chapter4

literitist interuptus 2/5

I gave this a big fat 1!.. it was extremely disappointing... I don't understand why you spent so much time giving us back stories, I assumed was heading into an awesome ending... just to fall flat???... the ending was quick and just ehhh... it's like the writer lost interest.. I realized the author lost interest in chapter 2.. chapter 2 ould've been put with chapter 1.. it took up space... chapter 3 the final chapter was not worth the reading.. it left me feeling unfulfilled... after all that buildingup , he just points to his ex wife and lovers table and walk away? No explanation from the wife, no real ending... you suck sir and I think I've gotten the gist of your stories.. this isn't the first story I read from you that had a lackluster ending.. you are very wordy... but it doesn't really go anywhere.. just a lot of talking.. you're good at the buildup but you really suck at a good ending.. They're always flat and bland..... we NEVER hear from the soon to be sluts.. there's NEVER a confrontation.. NEVER a final sit down... nothing... he just kets the sluts know that he knows, walks away a nd slap a "The End" at the bottom...I don't call what this MC did as a confrontation 😭😭😭.. he's a wimp... I expected way fucking more.. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON THIS STORY... IT'S NOT WORTH IT... I gave him a 1 for the buildup. The writer got me into the story.. but I took away 4 points for that useless chapter 2 and the shytty no substance ending..

Disappointing and bland in the end. So she's the earner, he provides the child care and she is cheating. So why doesn't she end up paying him alimony, him having custody of the child (she works all hours) and paying for the house? That would happen if the positions were reversed, wouldn't it?

A wonderful stiry falls flat. You had such a strong beginning and you had a great reveal prepared but it just ended with so little emotion. Yes the plot was easy to see coming but to not feel mire if the reaction of the wife and the others at her table just felt let down from a good beginning to your story.

The end? Dude, you really built significant suspense in a real non-cliche way though it is obvious who is "Marsha Tillman", no surprise there, BUT you ended it with a whimper. Just plain awful.

Another thing, your stories do have some whacky male characters behaving like they need some serious psychiatric help, you need to tone that down.

So much promise in the story but it seemed everything was telegraphed in the first few paragraphs. To then discover you knew the ending before the end of page 1 was disappointing but the ending just collapsed. Was it time for everyone to imagine their own ending? Was it mean to set the stage for another part? I won't damage the ratings that the story achieved to express my disappointment but encourage the author to continue writing but give your content a strong dose of editing and concentration on an ending. As other commenters wrote, the ending was actually a beginning!

I have a difficult time with the men in these cheating wife stories who hang on to their emotional instability like this guy did. Once the necessary course of action is decided it's time to lose all the emotional baggage. There was no satisfaction in the ending and the long drawn out unnecessary side trips became boring. No stars.

All the suspense for a lot of nothing and not even a proper ending let alone story. Story had tons of potential but defeated the purpose, which was to tell a story, if u want to even call that.

A bit more elaboration is desirable, but not necessary.

I enjoyed the story but would have liked a little more on the aftermath of his revelation regarding his wife and lover, as well as how he faired in the future. The story hags together well and is well written with very few errors.

End just not as good as the rest of the story. Decent overall though.

You finally managed to write a man with a backbone.

Took you long enough

Better to skim this drawn out show with no effort put into an ending worth a damn.

Good but quick ending. Now he will pay more child support and ALIMONY!!!

GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

Good story. I hope you're still around and writing stories. A little more burning of Zoe would have been nice and I wish he could have come up with a better title for the book. Why would a woman write a book about being a cuckolded husband?

Nagyon hiányoltam a végkifejletet,mert sok az elvarratlan szál az írásában!Igy ez egy amputált mű,elvágott "farokkal"!

you write very well and I like a good story This was a good story, in my opinion.

I enjoyed the story. It was kind of predictable, from the secrecy. I’d have liked it more, to read about the carnage after his announcement.

I'm sorry I read this story...we see what this guy goes through...and how much he has to suffer from what his wife is doing to him...but again...the author is very weak minded...the ending stinks...what this guys wife feels at the end is important and not telling us...we who are reading this.....I say this to this author...don't write another piss poor story ever again............

Good recovery and enjoyed

...de ...kontrolálatlan ,levágott véggel a történet így fele annyit ér!Szépen fel lett építve,volt sok érzelmi és empatikus töltése,...de ...a végkifejlet meg lett "erőszakolva",becsapott érzést keltve az olvasókban!

Way to BTB in public and her lover too. Doubly good as he knows he blew any possible contract.

Keep up the great work!

pretty pathetic. grammar still suck.

no real or completed storry. dead end. LOVE slap hapy papy#9

A public outing would surely satisfy some needs for revenge, but he's a rich author now, and she'll get half, correct? And certainly shared custody, perhaps even primary custody? He'll have to show he's been primary caretaker. He took no steps to protect all his hard work.

The main character is pathetic. He has Zoe's diary laying out what she's done but he doesn't confront her. He knew she was a cheater but took her back. What's changed? He has no friends. He gets a sympathy fuck from a lesbian! Now that I think of it, maybe Zoe doesn't try to get him back. Why would she? She can get half of the proceeds from his revenge novel and find a real man. 3 stars.

reasonable man

Agree with others. Ended too bluntly. No resolution on consequences to lovers or what happens with daughter.

The writing, not so much. But as long as you're coming up with plots like this, please carry on writing.

I loved it but agree with most of the other comments. I would love for you to continue and show them getting theirs.

You came all this way and ran outa gas!

5*

I really enjoyed the writing and the storyline. It was obvious who Marsha was fairly early on, but I enjoyed the unveiling. I agree with other comments that it ended too soon, and should have another chapter. But the sign of good storytelling is that you leave them wanting more, and you did that. I want to know what Zoe did. I want Michael buried by his wife. I guess I'll just imagine it.

That was damn good. And at least to me, original. Well done. I have given out maybe a dozen fives in two years so don’t feel bad about a four from me

Poor writing, ending too abrupt. Get another editor!

Gave 5 on the first 2. Gace a 2 to the 3rd . Bad ending.

You did a great story, and a good lead up, but the ending was a failure. What happens next? Obviously divorce. What about his daughter? What happens to his soon-to-be-ex-wife? What happens to the lover? and of course what happens to him?

I really liked what I read but agree with others it needs another chapter or two. I do hope the authors adds another chapter.

The author must have been in a hurry to go do something else. Too bad... he ruined what could have been a very good story.

If the author suffred a heart attack at the same time Zoe did?

I would have liked the plans execution to include the Wifes interactions during the divorce and what effect they had on him. Mind you that makes it tempting for the author to do the usual forgive and be the noble cuck happily ever after.

It definitley push buttons well .It's just that it did a lot of feelings from him and almost none from her.

On a personal level I like to delve into the mind of the cheater more. We go a few insights but it would have been nice to see her thoughts that raised her suspicions and whether she was completely surprised that he suspected.

I like it but it need where the ex wife try to win him back

Where's FTDS when you need him? FINISH THE DAMN STORY!

There are a few stories on this site that need an epilogue or another chapter or additional paragraphs to complete a story. Then there are a very few that are well written which definitely need to finished. This is one of those very few.

Please finish this story!

great potential but an unfinished story is just that, UNFINISHED

The ending was too abrupt. Too many loose ends. It's very good so far, but needs at least one more chapter to wrap things up.

Just when the story got interesting you ended it SO WRONG!!!

His whole goal for staying with her and not ending it as soon as he found out was to make sure he got to keep his daughter as the primary caretaker. Also, he mentioned how because he made a lot less money than her she would get everything, no alimony and even though he was the primary caretaker of their daughter she would get custody. I do live in the US, but I would imagine British family law would not be that different than ours. So in the US he would have likely gotten custody as he was the primary caretaker, gotten alimony and child support.

But anyway, let's assume that the laws in England were as the author proclaims. How does his waiting the 7 months after discovery, coming out as he did help him with keeping the child. In fact, if anything now he has to share the proceeds of both of his books (the second was written while still married) with her. And how does he now have a better chance to keep his wife than before? That was never explained.

Yes, it's nice to have what happened after. What happened to the wife, what happened to the lover, what happened with his love life. But where the author ended it was fine as this whole story was about him and his perspective. We never really got a glimpse of the wife or even her deep thoughts, even though we had an access to her diary. She was a character in his life that affected his thoughts and we were privy to that. So what happened to the wife (which a lot of LW readers love to read) doesn't concern me as much. So I'm ok with where it ended, although I must say it would have been a bit more satisfying to know the aftermath. But not explaining how waiting the 7 months to reveal benefitted him is the real mystery to me.

Not going to give what could have been an excellent story because there was no ending. It was unfinished and that was unfair to your audience that ploughed through to the end just to be let down. Consider taking the vast majority of comments to heart and tie up the lose ends and let us go happily into the sunset.

Ps I would have signed my comments as Dunny69 but the dam site won't let me log in so I'm anonymous

Very interesting and fly by the seat of your pants drama. It has blockbuster potential....it needs another chapter or at least an epilog. Thank you for sharing!

The bullet just left the barrel and you end the fucking story. I feel like I just stepped in a big steaming pile of cow shit. Waste of time.

You've left too many Loose Ends.

I gave it a 5 but come on don't leave it there i need to know.....

Probably the most unintelligent and emotionally vacant sex story ever written. And worst part? Not even the most stringent of writing classes could improve this author's lot. Some people are simply born not to endeavor creative writing. I can't even begin to critique in detail without forever regretting the waste of life's so limited minutes. Even now I feel my gut wrenching to flee!

How does this change anything? He gets divorced and loses custody of his daughter.

You spent all that time on the story and just brushed through the ending. The story was good but with little time on the ending. That should be as important as the story.

Needs an epilogue as a minimum.

There has to be some interaction and further turmoil as she faces the retribution for what she did.

How about another chapter ,the daughter,the divorce sueing the wife's lover and the company and there is Sarah

Rubbish and lazy ending.So why did she cheat? What about the daughter? What was the aftermath?

These are rather important. 2* as you left too much out and prattled on and on and on. Another chapter would be good, I mean a good chapter not a one page retelling of what we have just read.

Thrawn1234

...with no mention at all of the daughter who seemed to be a major concern of his earlier in the story. When an author takes a whole lot of story to detail (to an excruciating degree) all the hows and whys of Wifey being a cold-hearted bitch and then drops his big GOTCHA on her, only to immediately Exit Stage Right, readers can be forgiven for assuming the writer is a cuckolding fan. Once we're through all of Hubby's emotional pain and anguish, the revenge is just an afterthought. Your a decent writer and I'll look forward to your future submissions. This one let me down at the end, but I thank you for sharing it

Not enough confrontation kept this from being a 5*****, but 4**** is a solid score.

This is an interesting and well-written story but ends a little too abruptly and leaves too many questions about Zoe's behaviour unresolved. Why was she so jealous and why did she end her affairs as soon as she thought she might loss him and restart them as soon as she felt secure? Interesting psychology not fully explored.

LA

Really enjoyed the story just need an ending. What about the daughter??

Very enjoyable read, although need a 4th chapter!!!

It wold have been really interesting to hear Zoey’s thoughts in the period of time after she ended the affair. It would have gone from rekindled love to jealousy to fear and finally deep remorse. That’s something we should experience!

I am sorry but these three chapters only add up to half a story...because of that you get a 1 star

Some things that might help you:

The three chapters add up to about 4 web pages; a story of that length should be submitted as one chapter.

Your story starts in the present, but almost none of the action takes place in the present, so the real story is in the flashbacks. That's okay, but it would be much easier for your readers to follow if the flashbacks were one continuous narrative. Jumping around in time during the flashback and especially inserting bits from the present (which don't advance the plot or the characters), makes your story more confusing and less enjoyable.

You might want to read your story aloud, imagining yourself telling it to a stranger in a bar. If a narrative technique doesn't work orally, it probably doesn't work on the written page, either.

Thank you for the time and effort you've put into submitting this work.

GA

... otherwise there is a HUGE flaw in the story. Earlier it was stated divorce would ruin him, taking Ellie, his daughter, away from him, and intimation of financial ruin. Well, nothing’s changed, except now Zoe, if nothing else has changed, also gets the huge windfall of the payout from the new book.

Unless things are split very differently in the UK than they are in the USA, unless Zoe can be shown an unfit mother, she will get at least shared custody, if not primary custody irregardless of her infedelities. And if the proceeds from the sale of the book, or since it can be shown the book was written during the marriage, 1/2 of all profits will go to Zoe also, if not more if she is given primary custody.

You have not shown, again if UK laws are not drastically different, how Nick is going to circumvent the problems he foresaw just 8 months ago. Now, if in a following chapter you can show private investigator reports of the affair, and it being conducted in a way that might compromise the safety of the daughter, or show Zoe as being otherwise an unfit mother, that would help. If you could show Zoe not getting 1/2 the profits from the best selling book, so it looks as if Nick is financially in a much better position than Zoe? Or something else to show, especially, that Zoe not get primary custody of Ellie, and/or any financial windfall from separation due to her adultry, that would be all ok. But if you don’t address most, or all, of that then the story is incomplete because Zoe could still “win”.

I agree , needs a fleshed out ending. Good job so far

would like to read about the aftermath

Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed your story but feel that there could be a sequel in how the divorce pans out

Keep writing

Please add another chapter. We followed him for three and it is a good story but i would like a little bit on her and to read how that ends. Thank you.

The only thing I would add was that the ending needed to be longer. The readers would have appreciated some kind of confrontation with the cheating ex after having to deal with whiny unhappy cuckold for so long. He finally gets his balls back and then....nothing?? It's a good story....painful, but good.

Liked it. Turned the tables nicely.

Ended to quick what happened ????

Dropped the score because of too many unanswered questions. Was really good until then. Did he get custody of his daughter? What did Michael's wife do? What did Zoe do? Did Nick find a better woman?

Well written otherwise

in the first chapter and the ending I read was much more thorough. You started a great story, telegraphed the ending, wrote your paragraphs too short and dumped the ending over a cliff. There is much more to writing than structure, grammar and punctuation. Keep trying and learning and pick good editors and you might make it.