All Comments on 'Double or Nothing Pt. 01'

Unlike others comment, I enjoyed your writing and am looking with much anticipation for following chapters. PLEASE don't take too long to submit them.

I agree with anonymous what kind of crap is this starting the story out with the two demons and then at the end nothing

I am enjoying it, please finish

It’s going great. I’m interested in the follow up and finish of this story. Post the next segment soon.

Thank you for the story.

Please…more, more more!

Great story need MORE

Looks like another Chapter 1 story that is going to get lost in the sands of time.

Author Other2 is setting a very high bar indeed. When he cuts down some of the over extended soliloquies, fixes the incorrect use of "your" in place of "you're", and cleans up the punctuation, he will rival the masters on this site from 20 years past. Nice tight plot, good characters, believable, and enjoyable.

Keep 'em comin'.

terrible its supposed to be a sex story about cuckolding n hot wifes but its a thriller ...pls stop writing these stories on here n move them to family veiwing in other places

Enjoyed the story - want to know what happens next. Please.

Extremely good

I’m hooked

Nice story, keep writing! But please pick a different proofreader/editor.

Sooo good... I'm hooked too! Sooo looking forward to next part! Grays on a great start! 5*

Good start. Keep it up.

enjoyed so far but really looking forward to the continuation

Part II is now in editing with a new editor, hopefully will have it out soon. Also part III is half drafted 😉

as one good author once wrote Those Who Can, Do… Those Who Can’t, Criticize well I wont do the second - and probably not the first either

enjoyed the read was able to engage with the main character and don't mind minor grammar issue etc.

Big question is how far away is part 2?

When do we get other chapters.

I've liked the story so far.

Surely it would be easier to draft the whole story and submit parts a few days apart? Leaving it 2 or 3 weeks between chapters means you forget the plot and story and need to reread the whole thing again.

Are you ever going to finish this story? This is why I don't care for stories with multiple parts. It sucks waiting weeks, sometimes months for the other parts to come. I wish you writer's would stop doing this. People tend to forget the story. This first pat is quite good but the torturous waiting for the complete story is irking. Please finish the story.

Looking forward to the new chapters.

The story started interesting enough, but then quickly fell into a morass of stupidities. I know we should thank authors for sharing their time and stories, but take this as constructive criticism as some of us had to read the stuff:

(1) Given the good relationship Terry had with his daughter, it is unlikely that a 14-year old Mac would have acted as she did without something more that is not in the story;

(2) “Having been through this play with clients before, Kim had asked for a specific doctor” – it is ridiculous to suggest that lawyers bring clients to ERs because of purported shock unless the lawyer was the worst possible ambulance chaser;

(3) No doctor would chase a patient out of ER because of a restraining order and, in fact, it may have placed the hospital at risk for liability;

(4) “you're suffering a mild form of shock following the events of today” – unbelievable, and, even if true, you don’t go to hospitals for something like that;

(5) The courtroom scene is so make believe as to be painful to anyone who knows anything about courts and judges. Judges don’t comment unnecessarily and certainly would ask questions before saying anything. No lawyer would have asked that a college-fund (which would be a 529 account) be turned over to one parent without some mitigating emergency. No way that husband would get house for free for as long as he wanted and then pay only 40% to wife.

(6) Terry should have talked with Mac when she came by and found out what was behind her actions. Instead, Terry became a screamer. Is this what we want from the hero of a story?

one star until you have finished the story

Hey Everyone, For those that are asking Part II is in edit right now, I’ve teamed up with someone and we’re working well together, I’m about 80% done on part III and know where I want to take Part IV. There will likely be a part V and VI as well with how I’m feeling on this story.

For those that are asking me to speed it up, I write when I have time. I have a family and run three seperate companies so it takes me time to write.

Thank you everyone for commenting and for those of you who are enjoying my works

He gave an update three days ago. It's in editing. I'm looking forward to it too. Chill people. It's been 20 days and you're hounding him like there's no tomorrow. If he rushed it, you'd be unsatisfied where the story went or bitch about grammar 🤷🏻‍♀️. Just chill and go along with the ride, when it happens

Excellent start to this story, I'll wait for part 2. Take your time and get it how you want it before submitting. Just a thought for next time though, finish the story, then submit each part on subsequent days.

I very much look forward to the next chapter of this story.

chapter 2 soon????

Must be the slowest editor in the world

WOW! Author has three companies to run, if you want something done right ask a busy man. So Mr. Other take what time you need to write your tale. So far it's a good one. We'll wait but not forever. I am anxious to hear what he says to the ex's after their showing up uninvited at the family gathering. LP

I need more!

"For those that are asking me to speed it up, I write when I have time. I have a family and run three seperate companies so it takes me time to write." - That's cool, well understood, so DO NOT post any more until the story is complete. I'm now sorry I wasted my time reading this, because I'll likely have to reread it later.

Good Start. Story is good. I did notice "I was flawed" - did you intend "floored". Probably already pointed out by your volunteer editors :-). Clearly the mercenary mother and daughter lives have not worked out as planned.

I have enjoyed you story and looking forward to the next chapter. Keep up the good writing.

So finish the damn story then publish on sequential days. Waiting a month for chapter 2 means at this rate it will take over 6 months to get the story out. Not cool.

WHERE IS PART ll. I for one have no intention of reading any further part until the series has been posted.

In your preamble please state the time scale of the posting of the next part.

Good story so far. Waiting for part 2.

Part 2

I thought it sucked since the author does not have the ability or desire to finish what he started. It would have been a lot better if he did nothing,thanstart what he cannot finish.

Wonderful story! Waiting on part 2. Ignore these people, they aren't paying you or probably even helping you, and certainly aren't being positive. It will come when you are satisfied it's the story you want to tell. Don't get me wrong, I understand wanting the gratification of finishing reading the whole story but bitching about it won't change anything. Good luck and godspeed. 5*

I knew there'd be no second chapter, why bother saying there would be?

Somewhat disappointed that there is no update.

This is the reason I don’t like to start multi part stories until all the parts are published. Please finish the story or take down part 1

Part II is mostly edited, apologies all both my editor and I have had some health issues to get through recently.

I can let you know though that I have finished the drafts for Parts III through V. All going well as I publish Part II, the other parts will come out quicker :)

As it is over 1 month since part one was posted, I don't believe we will ever see part two. If there are more parts, please either state in your biography when we can see the rest of the stort, OR take down part 1 and repost all the parts on consective days. And remember a lot of readers don't like being jerked around by authors who can not finish what they start.

Guess I am the idiot. Seems the author responded and had issues. He gets no real compensation for his stories being provided to you. Ever heard good things come to those who wait. Yes, I have also read incomplete stories and it is frustrating but life happens. It just does. Sorry, not sorry. Thank you Other2other1 for the gift of your story. Hope you are feeling better. Looking forward to the good read.

Excellent story. On pins and needles waiting for part 2.

Part II has been submitted for publishing :)

Thanks, but i wont be reading anymore until all 6 parts are completed. 6 weeks between chapters is far too long, you have to reread the previous chapters to remember the story line.

Message to bitter commenters: If the title shows "Chapter 01" or "Part 01," and you are personally insulted when all subsequent segments are not already posted, may I suggest you save yourself the angst and simply don't read the story. To read it, then complain about it not being a complete story, creates a VERY negative picture of your situational awareness.

Message to authors: If you choose to write a story that has multiple, separate chapters, I recommend you hold Chapter 01 until the Epilogue is ready to submit.

Just my opinion, friends and neighbors.

BTW Other 21, you are dramatically improving from your first story. Also, although curiosity may "peak" or top out, curiosity is typically "piqued" as in "stimulated."

Keep 'em comin'.

Enjoyed story to this point - hopeing for more with some closure -

Ok, here is the update, Part II is submitted for publishing (just waiting on admins, so very soon), Part III is in final edit, I’m smoothing out Part IV in its first edit this week. And Part V draft is complete.

Some of you are going to struggle with Part II as I am doing somethings out of order, but Part III and Part IV really get into the conflict.

For those of you saying write the whole thing then post, I’m seeing the logic, I’ve got a few big stories in my brain so we will see how that goes once I get all five parts of this story out.

It’s coming everyone, hopefully all out by Xmas

I like our hero's reasoning. Someone who doesn't kowtow to the crazy ex-wife's accusations. Just too long a gap between the releases in order to keep myself in-tune with the storyline, therefore 4*

A decent story spoiled by too many spelling and grammatical issues. Get a proof reader.

Well the story looks interesting but now that I see it is a planned FIVE part story and it's nearly all written, anything I might add will have no affect to your story. So I'll WAIT for all five parts to be posted before I invest my time reading. [You can blame TTT for my attitude being burned on "A Town without Honor" series, leaving all hanging in 2017, (and no one will post a 'February Sucks' type endings).]

/

Hooyah

Hey O2O1 - great story! I'm looking forward to the other parts. Thank you!

‘minutes’? unless an Oz thing for ‘notes’ or ‘records’

‘spare’ of the moment? see above, but I think ‘spur!’

Just a sample of ‘scratch your head’ oddness noted.

It looks like Voice-to-Text software without subsequent editing. Near-homophones are a bitch! Most of the ‘oddness’ of this chapter seems to be either auto-correct-gone-wrong or V2T without careful review.

4* Not a bad plot start but a painful read … due to apparent carelessness.

You nailedit and i am loving it!

Great story, I was glad to see Terry come out financially better than Carol or Mackenize as what they did to Terry was lower than low. Well Written 5 stars

Love it keep on keepin on

re-read this story in preparation for reading part 2. Great the first time around, great the second time.

Good read.

Oh my! How refreshing a man with a steel spine and brass balls! This is how it should be done gentlemen! Horrible subject mattter but I loved every moment.

A good story is when you can believe it actually happened or could happen, except tbe part about the part about court judgement; that was purely fiction and fantasy, as anyone who has been through the Australian Family Law System, can attest.

really looking forward to chapter 4

Meh

Excellent story. Personally I really like what happened in the court whether that could happen for real or not, besides this is "other2other1" world so anything can happen here if they want it to. Terry is lucky to have a great sister like Kim. I was worry that Mackenize was tricked into signing the adoption papers or her signature was forged but you did good showing that she went fully along with the plan.

She fucked him over for 2 years, including his daughter, and he never knew? Any raltionship that shallow, distant, and tepid was not worth keeping. The husband was clueless and timid. He probably spoiled both bitches rotten, so they acted like the rotten people he helped make them. Serves him right. Maybe he'll get some balls before he remarries. Thanks for the effort.

Second time reading and it gets more interesting even if I know what the future holds. I must say I noticed a few grammatical errors this time but perhaps I simply over looked the the first time. Looking forward to rereading the remaining parts of this story.

You need an editor in the worst way.

Excellent, well written story. The ending confrontation was probably the most exciting dialogue I have read on here. He really turned his righteous anger loose on both ex wife and ex daughter. Well done. An outstanding part 1!

Great start!

Yeah, I thought that the writing was good, but the subject matter hits a little bit too close to home. My ex wife is a narcissist and probably bipolar as well. Something very similar happened to me with my youngest child choosing to live with his mother and her new boyfriend. Unlike your Protagonist, I had been married to my wife for 24 years of the 26 years that we were together. We had three children together. Fortunately, the two oldest saw right through her bullshit and gave me their loyalty and support. In her narcissistic mind, she truly believed all three would abandon me. And now, two years later, there are signs that the brainwashing of the youngest child is wearing off since on Christmas Eve he expressed a desire to spend more time with me. I'm willing to take him back because he never sought to be adopted and totally abandon me. I continue to pray to God daily for deliverance from this evil. I sincerely hope that she rots in hell for all of eternity. Just like in your story, it's easier for me to imagine that she died on the day that she left. It's the only way to survive once you have invested 150% of yourself into the relationship that you believed was forever.

-

On another note, I wanted to point out a common mistake that bites many writers in the ass, yours truly included. You wrote:

"My curiosity peaked; ever since I had met this couple, they had treated me like family;"

The word that you should have used is "piqued". Rated 3/5.

this is certainly not a spare of the moment thing.[spur of the moment]

"Right now, your numb, your right with what you said before. [you’re numb, you’re right]]

I blushed at thirty-two; it had been a few years since I had been called young. [I blushed. At thirty-two it had been a few years]

”He's done nothing but love and dote both of those girls for years. [dote on]

"I will minute your words and your derogatory comments [I will record your words]

“When they ask why I except you will know what to tell them.”

I was flawed.I had been making deposits into that account for Mackenize since she was born,

"Mackenize, your fifteen now, [you’re]

Very well done. 5 BIG STARS. I'm going to follow but you start writing Cuck Shit and that's over, lol

So far it sounds like my life story after 13 years of marriage almost 40 years ago and a divorce. good story I love to read about dumb bitches. 5 stars

Very powerful emotional content. Very well done. Looking forward to the next installment.

You really, really need an editor. Really. At least get a couple of proof-readers, but you should really try to find an editor. Seriously. Just saying.

.

Good story so far. Except for all the wrong words, grammatical errors, and incomplete sentences. You might want to find an editor. That's what I'd do if I were you. Get an editor. Seriously.

You absolutely need. An editor in the worst. Way.

I wanted to wait until this series was done before I bothered. Normally i would say i wish i hadnt but i enjoy a good train wreck once in a while. This is the most contrived nonsense I have ever read. I can't wait to finish this. Because everyone has a close daughter who just up and abandons their father without a warning at 13. Chosing to live with the richer parent, oh I can buy that. This however is so batshit stupid that I am laughing. The absolute crushing guilt would he apparent to everyone even if it was in the form of acting out and getting into trouble. If the girl was entirely self absorbed then perhaps not but that would he evident. More than that, its not how she was developed.

You bothered to address the wife's disrespect so clearly you aren't completely clueless. I can't imagine why you think this works despite the idiot brigade 5 bombing it because it's a cheating wife story and they hope she will be placed in an iron maiden.

I will also reinforce that there is a major difference between a child chosing to live with a parent who cheated and one who seeks to cease all contact entirely with a parent they are close to. No one is ever going to convince me that a teenager will do that without there already existing problems and/or a lack of attachment and closeness (which also happens).

I am not seeking to minimize anyone's pain from their experience but it's never this one-sided. Sorry folks, I have been in the social work business for a long time.

Okay I just couldn't let this go. I promise this is the last one for now. I know that I come on strong but I am amazed that people seriously do not think their story through before submission.

An order of protection must be personally served or significant efforts made by local law enforcement with documentation where it fails. Leaving paper on a table for someone doesn't cut it. There would need to be a hearing before it was made official and there is no way the doctor would he included NOR could he possibly bar the husband from seeking care at a hospital. In fact, the doctor entering into a relationship with a patients mother is absolutely an ethical violation and would absolutely result in medical board sanctions.

You need to research. I think you have the ability to write a story but you really need to spend time thinking through your plot, characters and action. Your score aside, this is extremely sloppy

This is by far one of the dumbest stories I have ever read.

The story was interesting if somewhat simple-minded. The proofreading was almost comical. These careless mistakes tell readers a lot about you-see the Lit guidelines.

another evil bitch

Well with the recent boom of the feminist movement (you know women are equal) I would have knocked that SWAMP DONKEY'S teeth right out the back of her head

Good start. Hope the following chapters are too.

Men here need therapy man, why are they always shitting on their imaginary pink haired feminist boogeyman? Read some Alexandra Kolontai please.

"Right now, your numb, your right with what you said before.” "your" for "you're"[multiple times]

“… stolen my wife and decided to make his daughter his.” (make my daughter his)

“When they ask why I except you will know what to tell them.” (expect)

“I was flawed. I had been making deposits into that account for Mackenize since she was born, …”. (floored)

I could hear some hushed gestures, (gestures make noise?)

Do you have any idea how the Australian hospital system works. The doctor would be disbarred and why would a rich couple be attending at a public hospital for something a specialist would handle. Really really poorly done.

Very nicely done. A little better editing otherwise good.

The multiple spelling errors really distracted from the reading. Not a bad plot but nothing new. Still, I gave it a 4.

My Ex Daughter shafted Me in Court . Unknown to My Ex Daughter and Ex Wife . I had placed My Bonus Checks in a separate account at a Different Bank . One month I got a great Bonus for catching an error that My Boss had Missed . My Boss is Great and He makes sure that everyone has their worked Checked by someone else . Yes I am a Lowly CPA but I had almost 150,000 thou in the other bank . Oops She will never see a cent of it . I do Love My 350 Mustang and My New Mitsubishi SUV . I Love My wife and 12 year old Step Daughter

Great Story !!!!!

5 Stars - couple editing tweaks needed but story is good

Better the second read.

You don't realize just how good your writing is. Carol should have her head almost knocked off her shoulders and that asshole doctor should be beaten, where he really suffers, where his"doctor training" will do no good...

Awesome, ditch the treacherous cuntz

lol stinky piglets