Dramatic License

There really was only one thing left to do. I mustered all my courage and visited her the first chance I got. I was too early, but a dorm mate of hers had skipped school due to illness and was kind enough to let me in. Waiting in the room we shared so often didn't make things any easier and I was about to up and leave twice when Sarah came in.

She stopped dead when she entered her room.

"How do you get in here?" she asked, dropping her cane and school bag onto her bed.

"Used my charm on your dorm mate. Listen, I need to talk to you." Last chance to bail out. But what would be the use of it? No, let's get it over with.

"What is it?"

Time to face the music. There was no way I could soften the blow. She would kick me out anyway, so why bother? I took a deep breath.

"I cheated on you."

Her face turned pale and she nearly fell onto her bed. "You- you did what?"

My heart hurt. I had never, ever heard her voice like that. Lifeless.

"I cheated on you. With Sylvia."

Sarah didn't say anything. She just closed her eyes and breathed, long, measured breaths. "I knew it," she whispered, eventually. "Why?"

Why indeed? I could have said "no" so many times. I didn't say no.

"It sorta happened."

I expected rage. I expected tears. I expected anything but her sitting on the bed, not acknowledging my presence. Eventually, she spoke again, in a tiny, brittle voice.

"Why tell me now?"

"Because you are my everything," I said, putting all my conviction into that sentence. "I fucked up big time and honestly, you deserve better. I promised to be honest. I- I just don't want to lie to you any more. Whatever you say or do, I deserve it."

She laughed, harsh and bitter. "Go."

"Just like that?"

"What do you expect? A hug?" she screamed, rising to her feet. "Right now, I could kill you and that bitch. Go, before I do something I might regret!"

"If it's any consolation, I won't be going back to her," I said. Sarah had turned her back on me, her shoulders raised as if to ward off incoming blows. She didn't cry when I left. I fought to keep my own tears in check and managed to clear the dorm's stairwell. I had no idea why doing the right thing hurt so much.

* * * *

The next day, Sylvia waited for me at her usual spot. When I was close enough, she grabbed my arm.

"To my house," she snapped, trying to pull me away from the Language Tower.

"Why?" I asked her, sweetly. "Another threesome? Who's the lucky winner this time?"

"No, just you and me, like in the old times. You can have me any which way." She bent low, licking my ear. "My ass yearns for your pole, Chris."

"No."

"I think your girlfriend would be very interested in what we have done these past few weeks," she hissed as a flock of students passed us by.

I turned her face towards me and kissed her, full on the mouth. She looked at me questioningly.

"She already knows."

Sylvia raised an eyebrow.

"I confessed. She kicked me out. There is nothing you can do to hurt me."

Saying these words into her face felt good, maybe even better than fucking her ass had. My head felt comically light. Her face distorted as emotions raced over it. Shock. Rage. Embarrassment, but then rage returned. I didn't see it coming. Her slap nearly took me off my feet. She snarled and strode away, her trenchcoat flapping like a pair of black wings. I didn't care. I laughed and laughed until the tears came.

* * * *

A few days later I was at Tom's, getting high with him. Now that I had neither girlfriend nor lay, I could spend even more time at his place and we had a huge program mapped out. A whole evening of 'Heroes Of Might And Magic II' hotseat, a couple of blunts and a few six-packs of beer.

"You should have kept the story going," Tom said, pulling up his chair to the desk. "Now you don't have a girlfriend, a place to rinse off and we lost our second guitarist."

"I couldn't. Even if Sylvia hadn't pulled Jessie into it, I would have quit anyway, and lying to Sarah's face just felt wrong. I thought I could, but-"

Someone knocked at the door. "Hopefully it's not that chick again," Tom said, referring to his latest ex, the one looking for a DP. She did get one, from two guys who weren't Tom, so he had promptly dumped her. Now she clung to him like an old gum to a shoe. To make matters worse, despite his disgust, he let her in when he was horny. Tom was always horny.

"Is Chris here?" I was about to light the first blunt of the evening, but the voice gave me pause.

"Hey girl, didn't expect you here, after leaving the band like that," Tom said. I heard him hug our visitor. Sarah coughed. "Get your windows open. You smell like an ashtray."

"Now that you're free, why don't we go take a shower together?" he asked.

"Who said I'm free? Is Chris here?"

"You ask him yourself. Come in!"

"I'd rather not. Chris, if you're there, I need to talk to you."

"And there goes the evening," Tom groaned, clearing the way for me. "See you tomorrow."

I left his room, took a deep breath of relatively fresh air and walked towards the stairwell.

"You can take me with you," Sarah complained, holding out her hand. I stopped, offered my elbow which she took and together we climbed the stairs.

"You don't seem particularly happy to see me," she observed while I fiddled with my keys.

"I'm just careful," I said. "What's up?"

We entered my room and Sarah claimed my bed. I sagged down onto my chair. For the longest time, it was quiet between us. I had no idea why she came back to see me. I could see her jaw work, as if she was trying out which words to say.

"I've been thinking," she eventually said.

"Yes? Kicking me out not enough?"

"Shut up, you're making me regret my decision."

"Which would be?"

"I want you back."

"Why?"

"Won't you sit down next to me? Please?"

I changed seats.

"I miss you." Sarah hugged herself close to me. "Also, kicking you out would mean she'd have won. She would have destroyed us. I can't have that."

My heart skipped a beat. Did she really just say that?

"What, you're taking me back out of spite?"

"No, idiot. I'll take you back because I love you."

I was speechless. But I didn't need words to say 'thank you'. I kissed her until she tickled me to get off her. And then it was time to annoy my neighbors with some noise of our own.

* * * *

Nineteen years later and I'm still not sure if I deserved that second chance Sarah gave me. Don't get me wrong, I was more than happy she took me back and elated when she told me, a few years later, that she forgave me for my slip-up. In return, I managed to not get into any such crazy situation again. No affairs, no side pieces and only a bit of harmless online flirtation. We made it through her losing the last of her eyesight, we survived two marriages in our circle, one of which was Tom's and two moves. There's nothing which can break us apart.

We're happy together and I'm about to hand her this complete account of what really happened back then. I'm a bit nervous, to tell the truth. She never asked for any details, but for my conscience to be really clear, I have to spill my guts. But compared to the late '90s, I know where we stand and I know she'll still love me, no matter what.

The End.

*****

Final notes:

I hope you enjoyed this warped little tale of mine. If you did, please vote and/or comment. It's the only way I will ever know if and how you liked what I've written. Thanks for your time.

Blind_Justice