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"Connie, you're amazing. I should have listened to you from the start."
"Now you're talking, but what about that sweet young thing of yours?"
"I'm not worried about her, with you around I'm worried about Dave. I owe him bigtime."
Kevin left her cube and hung his bag from the wall of his own cube and logged in to the computer. He tried to work, but memories from the night before made it impossible to concentrate.
His phone range. He picked it up on the first ring. "Hey Dave, what's up?"
"How'd it go with Mary last night?"
"It went fantastic. I owe you bigtime."
Dave laughed, "What do you mean you owe me?"
"You know, for covering my back. Breaking up me and Janet. Setting me up with Mary. All of that."
"Are you serious?" Dave was incredulous.
"Yes. You really looked out for me."
"You know, Mary's grandmother was right, you really are an idiot. You're a loveable idiot, but you're still an idiot."
"Why does everyone keep saying that?"
"Because it's true. You don't owe me. You've never owed me. Ever. If anything, I still owe you. Don't you remember what happened in high school?"
Kevin thought back to how he took the heat for Dave's anti-prom while Dave hid the booze. There was always something cooking in Dave's head. His job was always to cover for Dave. It was an important job and he did it well.
Dave said, "The three of us were a team. We made things happen. I was the king of the world when we were together."
"We can't relive high school you know."
"You're right, but having you and Mary together is the next best thing. You two will be happy and I'll always have somewhere to crash."
"You selfish bastard. That was your plan all along."
Dave laughed, "Admit it. When on your door I knock, happy to see me you'll be."
Kevin laughed, "That's enough, Yoda."
They laughed a bit more, said their goodbyes and hung up.
Kevin pulled the waste bin from the corner with his foot and pulled out the framed photo. Janet's beauty radiated through the shattered glass. For a while he'd thought he loved her, now he was certain that he never had. He would have to replace the picture with one of Mary, and maybe one of the three of them. The photos would be on his desk to remind him of the day his friends came to his rescue.
- COMMENTS
ScottishTexanover 1 year agoI'm a sucker for the whole 'platonic friends find everlasting love together' trope. And yet, you managed to mangle up your story so badly that I gave you a three in the end. The whole thing with Mary trying to dominate Kevin really turned me off. So did the denying answers with "how much is it worth to you?" teasing. That's fine if you intend to cave in later on and reveal the answer. But you carried it across the line into an abusive behavior that was sinister.
I tried to appreciate the whole thing with the oysters, but it became boring pretty quick as well. 😴
Normally, I would have probably been okay with Herb and Connie's open relationship because they were both in full agreement about the arrangement. But when you included the best friend Dave into their tryst, I couldn't stomach that one either.
There was a way for you as a writer to build an epic love story here, but you missed the mark. 3/5
inka2222over 2 years agoThis is good craft, but a shitty story. The whole dumb "I can't say i love her" garbage does not happen, ever.
And she will be cheating on him in a while. Because she doesn't respect him and doesn't love him as much as he loves her, and doesn't value him enough.
lovemyroseover 4 years agoThe whole oyster narrative is worth the price of admission! The time spent dining was just right. Nice romantic vision.
argeelogalmost 5 years agoYou write a great 5 star story like this and also pure crap like "All In". Stick with this type and avoid that kind, please.
Anonymousabout 5 years agoBut by the end of page 2 the manipulative almost nasty teasing got to be too much for me.
