Evening The Score

"That's not the same thing. That's just... well, it's not the same. You don't even understand."

It was my turn to shake my head sadly. "No, I don't understand."

We didn't really have anything else to say after that. Soon she walked away and went somewhere else in the house while I wondered what would come next.

Over the next couple of weeks, we didn't resume that conversation. She would randomly snap at me or refuse to talk to me. She and I held each other when she cried, which was at least once a day. She went to Jeremy's three times, and came back in a cheerful mood and treated me much better for a while, although she wouldn't say anything at all about what they did. She and I did not make love at all during that time. I would have liked to, but she pushed me away when I tried and I didn't press the issue.

About halfway through that period, she asked me some questions about what happened.

She started with, "Was it good?"

"Yes."

"Did you kiss her?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It didn't seem right to have sex with her and not kiss her."

"Did you come inside her?"

"Yes."

"Did you go down on her?"

"Yes."

"Did she go down on you?"

"Yes."

"Did you do anal?"

"No." I don't do that with Sarah either. I'm just not into it. She knows that; I'm surprised she asked.

"Did you do her from behind?"

"No."

"Who was on top?"

"I was the first time, she was the second time."

"You did it twice?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"We had enough time left when I recovered. I didn't know if I'd ever get to do it with her again, so I went for it."

"Where did you touch her?"

"Hair, ears, breasts, belly, pussy, legs, feet, butt-cheeks, back."

"Where did she touch you?"

"Hair, ears, chest, penis. And she had her arms and legs around me."

"You forgot lips. You guys kissed, remember?"

"Yeah, I thought you mean where did we touch each other with our hands and stuff."

"Did you snuggle with her when you were done?"

"Yes."

"Who would you rather be with, me or her?"

"You."

"Don't lie."

"I'm not. I love you. She's fun to play with, but she's not you."

"Is she more fun to play with than me?"

"I'd never been with her before. She was brand new. That made it more fun."

"If she wasn't new, who'd be more fun to play with?"

"I don't know." It wouldn't do any good to lie to her.

"Would you do her again?"

"Hell, no! I don't want to go through this again."

"If I was really okay with it, would you do her again?"

"Yes."

"Thank you for telling the truth."

"You're welcome."

She gave me a hug and wandered off.

At the end of the two weeks, I knew that I had to do something. We were losing our connection, and I was getting sexually frustrated, and it was becoming clear that neither of those problems would go away on their own. When the kids were in bed, I brought it up. I started by going for a kiss, which she pushed me away to prevent.

I said, "We've got a problem. I know that you're having a hard time, but we have to start making love again."

"Oh we do, do we?"

"Yes. We're going to lose our connection to each other if we keep going like this."

"Did fucking Samantha give you a connection with her? Why don't you just go to her?"

"No. Having sex is necessary but not sufficient to keep that romantic connection between us."

"Necessary but not sufficient?"

"Yes."

"What if I don't want to? What if I can't?"

"Then we've got a serious problem."

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, I'm telling you. Maybe we need to go to counseling or something, but we've got to fix this."

"And what exactly can you do with me that you haven't already done with Samantha?"

"What?"

"Everything you and I do together, you did with Samantha."

"I never did her from behind."

"That doesn't count. That's just a different position, not a different act. You held her and kissed her and snuggled her!"

"Well, I never told her I loved her. I never married her and had kids with her and cared for those kids with her. I never stayed up with her when she was sick. I never held her hand in the hospital, or took care of her when she came home. I never bought a house with her, or picked out furnishings with her, or did any work on it afterwards. I never worked to support her. I never held her when she cried. And she never did any of that with me either."

"Right now you're trying to get me into bed. What can you give me in bed that you haven't already given to her?"

I didn't have an answer for that. I could have asked her the same question with respect to Jeremy, but I didn't.

We just looked at each other. I heard nothing but my own heart beating. Finally, she said, "I want you to tie me up."

"What?"

"Tie me up. You didn't do that with Samantha, did you?"

"No."

"Tie me up and have your way with me."

"Okay." We both knew there was rope in the garage.

"Not 'okay', don't ask me for it, tie me up and take it!"

I was shocked. "You want me to force you?"

"Yes! Take what you want!"

"You're going to fight back?"

"Hell yeah, I'm gonna fight back! If you want it, you better take it!"

"What if I hurt you?"

"Yes! Hurt me!"

"No, I mean like really, actually hurt you? How would I even know?"

She thought for a moment. "If I say 'abort', stop what you're doing right away and let go of me. If I say anything else, anything at all, keep going until you're finished with me. Got it?"

"Got it." I was getting nervous. I was not very coordinated, and I could very easily hurt her for real. She was pregnant, for crying out loud! If I made her lose the baby, I'd never forgive myself. But she left no doubt that that was what she needed.

"I'm serious, go get the rope, and when you get back here, it's on. I'm not giving you anything. You better be ready to take it."

"Okay." I went and got the rope. I came back in the house with it and locked the front door. I took a deep breath and opened the bedroom door.

She glared at me. "What do you want?"

Damn, she's a good actress. "I want you."

"Oh really? Why don't you go fuck your little slut?"

"Maybe I will, after I'm through with you."

"No! Get out!"

That brought me up short. I believed for a moment that she meant it. I was about to leave when I remembered that the only word that counted was 'abort' and she hadn't said it. So I responded, "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you, it's been two weeks and I've had enough, and we're going to fuck."

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, I'm telling you. I'm going to fuck you. Right now."

She ran for the door. I grabbed her arm. She tried to pull away hard enough that I thought sure she was going to dislocate her shoulder. I didn't dare grab her around the waist. I tossed the rope onto the bed and grabbed her other hand, after she flailed it away from me a few times, and pulled her with both arms toward the bed. She tried to kick me. I got on the bed and pulled, and her legs hit the bed and she bounced on her ass.

I pulled her further up by her arms, up toward the railing of the bed. She flailed her legs and tried to kick me. She was on top of the blanket, which made it easier to drag her without actually hurting her. When I got her hand up near the railing, she bit me!

I let go of one of her arms and slapped her face. Hard. For a moment, I was sure she would abort, and I was ready to apologize. She didn't abort, just looked at me with a shocked expression. I didn't see much choice but to stay in character and go with it. I said, "I'm going to fuck you, do you want me to hurt you too? Don't fucking bite me, bitch!"

She glared at me again and tried to slap me back, but I grabbed her hand before she could connect. If she kept this up, she might actually hurt me hard enough to get me to abort. I pulled her hands together so that I could hold them with one hand, and reached for the rope with the other. She kept trying to kick me, but her pregnant belly was in the way. She was still seriously trying with all her might to get away, to get her hands free, to launch another attack. She didn't try to bite me again, though.

Finally, I had both her wrists in one hand and the rope in the other. I wrapped one wrist against the railing a few times so that I could safely let go of it, then tied her other wrist to the railing with a proper knot. Then I unwrapped the first wrist and tied it properly to the next railing over. Now it was time to deal with her legs.

I grabbed one leg, pulled it back as far as I dared, and tied a good knot around her ankle. She could pull her leg further back a few inches, but she couldn't lower it at all past where I had held it when I tied it. With the other end of the rope, I did the same to her other leg, then tossed both ends of the rope behind the railing.

She was completely helpless and glaring at me. I quickly undressed myself, and positioned my cock near her head. I said, "Suck it!"

"Fuck you!"

"Look, bitch, you give it up to Jeremy whenever he wants it, you've been his little slut for months, even getting knocked up while you're out whoring around, so don't come tell me you're not up for it!"

"That's cause Jeremy knows how to please a woman!"

"Samantha didn't have any complaints! Maybe I should call her in here and fuck her while you're tied up watching! Maybe you'll learn a thing or two!"

"You wouldn't! Get the fuck out of here and don't you dare say that little whore's name again!"

"Bitch, you've given me enough lip! The only lip I want from you is on my fucking cock! Get to work, and don't you dare even think about biting me if you wanna keep all of your fucking teeth!"

She gasped in shock. I took that opportunity to shove my cock into her mouth. If she bit me... well, that would be the end of this game at the very least. I waited a bit nervously to see where she would go next. She tried to pull her head away, so I grabbed her hair and held on. She glared at me again and then... licked the shaft, swirling her tongue against it inside her mouth. Then she slid her lips up and down.

Holy shit it felt good. She picked up the pace and put everything she had into it. It was the kind of sloppy, enthusiastic blowjob that I hadn't had from her in quite a while. I let go of her hair and she kept going.

I didn't know if I could last long enough to do anything else with her. I felt the pressure building up, so I pulled my cock out and said, "That's enough, you're not getting away that easy." Then I positioned myself near her ass, with her legs up in front of me. I pulled off her shoes, then started undoing her shorts. She started squirming, trying to free herself. The knots were too good, though, and she couldn't get anywhere. If I left her alone for a while, she might manage it, but that wasn't going to happen until I was done with her or she said 'abort'. And I was becoming certain that she wasn't going to say it.

I pulled her shorts and panties together past her hips and up her legs. I managed to get them over each foot and hang her shorts and panties from the rope between her ankles. Now I had both hands free again and I reached around her legs and up inside her shirt and pinched her nipples. They were hard and swollen and crinkled, indicating that despite her words and struggles, she was turned on. I positioned my cock at the entrance of her pussy, and found it soaking wet and radiating a surprising amount of heat. She was turned on like I'd rarely seen her. Even with Jeremy or Samantha joining in, she hadn't been this wet. My cock slid in easily, and I started pounding her quickly and roughly.

She screamed. Not with protest or anger, but with pleasure. I pounded her with everything I had and she started squirming against her bounds. I felt her pussy spasming right away; I was making her cum without even trying. I squeezed her boobs and pinched her nipples and fucked her, taking what I wanted, not even trying to press her buttons or make it good for her, and somehow she just couldn't get enough of it. "That's it, scream for it you little slut! Can't get enough, can you?" I slapped her ass.

She screamed for it, all right. I slapped her ass again. I felt the pressure built up again and I kept going, not even trying to make it last, just enjoying the sensation and making it as intense as I could. I shouted, "Here it comes, bitch!" and an incredible orgasm took hold of my entire body and I could feel it squirting harder than ever as I filled her up. Oh good Lord that was amazing!

After I was done, I watched her panting. She was out of breath and took a good while to recover. Somehow her pussy juice had gotten all over my pelvic area and the sheet underneath her; there must have been even more of it than I'd thought. Once she was breathing normally, I untied her and kissed her and said, "Wow, that was... intense."

"Yeah."

"I'm going to break character now. I didn't know you wanted this."

"Sweetie, you weren't in character. You meant every word you said and every thing you did."

"No!"

"Yes. I know it wasn't all you meant. I know you love me, I know you care about me, but together with all that... you meant it. Didn't you?"

She was right. "Yes," I finally said.

"Thank you! About time you stopped holding back!" She patted her belly. "Ever since I did this to you you've been holding back."

"I wanted us to stay together and work it out. I didn't think calling you names and slapping you would help with that."

"I'm not saying you should have hit me or anything. Well, not until I asked you to." She smiled and blushed at that. "But damn it, do you think I'm so fragile that you expressing your anger and hurt -- all of it -- would have chased me away? You really think I care so little about you? That you calling me out for what I did to you would make me want to leave you?"

"I did call you out."

"Not like you wanted to. Look, if we're going to stay together, you've got to be straight with me. Don't be careful with me. I'm not going to break. We can't work this out while you're still holding all of that inside."

"I'm... I'm not very good at what you want. Half the time I don't even really feel it until later, and then it's too late to bring it up."

"I'm not asking you to be perfect. I'm just asking you to try. And bring it up anyway, no matter how much later it is. Please?"

"I don't want to cross the line and make it worse."

"Well, don't hit me unless we're role-playing. And don't scream at me all the time for stupid little things. But... stop treating me like you're afraid of me. Stop treating me like you're afraid of breaking me or chasing me away. I want to be with you just as much as you want to be with me. I want to stay and make it work just as badly as you do. I can't do that if you won't be straight with me."

"Okay. Let me ask you something. The last couple of weeks, were you being straight with me? Or were you trying to provoke me or something?"

"When I left you alone with Samantha, I knew it would hurt. I didn't know how much it would hurt. Then when I couldn't take it... I tried to take it and... when I pushed you away and cut you off because I just couldn't and... and you just took it and waited and tried to baby me and that made me feel even worse and... when you finally lost patience with it I was relieved but even then I couldn't make myself just give you what Samantha had given you I... it just came to me what we had to do."

"Are you going to be able to give it to me now, after this? I don't think I want to force you every time, even as role-playing. It's really intense and fun, but I want to do other things with you too."

"Yes, I think I'll be able to."

"Tonight? I could go for it again."

"Yes, tonight. I feel... closer and... I think I can do it."

"I hope so, because you'll have to, and soon, if you really want to make it work going forward."

She smiled at that. "Okay. Tonight. After that, are we even? Really even?"

"One more thing. After this," I said, patting her belly, "I want one more. I know you wanted to stop at three, but you haven't given me three."

"Okay. One more baby, and we'll make damn sure it's yours. Anything else?"

"Yeah, don't cut me off like that again, and don't hold back all of what you just told me of the last couple of weeks. Got it?"

"Got it."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

We did make love again that night, slowly and tenderly. She ended up on top, riding me, pleasing me, doing her best to make it up to me. Afterwards, we held each other until we fell asleep.

A few weeks later, late at night in bed, she told me, "I want to stop seeing Jeremy. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, it's okay. Are you sure?"

"Yes. I want to go back to just me and you. I'm not saying I'll never try it again, I know you like it when I do, and I really really enjoy it too, but... let's wait till I'm through having kids at least. And make sure there's no chance the next one isn't yours. And just... be with each other again for a while. You know?"

We kissed, and one thing led to another. The next day, she went to Jeremy's house and came back a very short time later. "It's done. I'm not sleeping with Jeremy anymore. He tried to get me back into bed, for one last time or maybe even to change my mind, but... I got out of there to make sure I wouldn't."

"Good girl. Now I get to try to keep up with you all by myself."

"You're pretty good at that. I think you'll manage."

We named the baby Lynne. Sarah is friends with Samantha again. Samantha told her in no uncertain terms that she was never doing a threesome with us again, and she was never sleeping with me again as long as I was married to Sarah. I would have liked to be with Samantha again, with or without Sarah, but I know and accept that it's not going to happen.

Since I was married to Sarah when Lynne was born, Lynne was legally my daughter. We couldn't force Jeremy to pay child support, and he didn't offer it. By the same token, Jeremy couldn't force us to let him see the baby. We offered to let him come over and see his daughter anyway, but he never took us up on it. Once he lost access to my wife's body, he didn't really seem to want much to do with either one of us. Sarah was hurt by that. She knew he didn't want a relationship, and she didn't either, but she had thought that he'd at least considered her a friend.

She kept her promise, and is now expecting our third (her fourth) child. We still role-play every once in a while, but usually not with biting or slapping anywhere except her ass. The 'abort' signal has become our thing, even when we're not role-playing. The idea is, whenever I want her, I should try to persuade her into bed, and even if it takes her a while to get into it, I should keep trying unless and until she says 'abort'. Any push-back without the word 'abort' means, "I'm not really into it yet, but keep trying and I think I can warm up to it." Now that she doesn't have Jeremy on the side to keep her warmed up, this arrangement helps us stay on track without me misinterpreting things, missing opportunities, or pushing her too far when she's absolutely not into it.