Falling Down

I hissed in pain and the look on her face told me she was not impressed with me. "Did you take one of the pain pills the doctor gave you this morning?"

I looked her in the eye and told her, "Karly. I'm not going to lie to you..."

And then I nodded and went back to filling out my form.

"You mule headed, stubborn jackass." She growled.

I looked at her and gave her the biggest shit eating grin I could come up with. "I love you too."

She sighed. "Okay. Make me understand."

I raised my eyebrows at her, "Understand what?"

Her eyes narrowed and I realized I was starting to come very close to the pinching or tickling of a lifetime...

"Why you won't take the pills. I know that hurts like a motherfucker. So, make me understand so I don't have to kick your ass up between your shoulder blades."

I sighed and set my pencil down. "They make me nauseous for one."

She gave me an 'are you kidding me?' look.

I looked back at my form. "You want to know the one thing that my dad did that was perfect?"

She raised an eyebrow at me, "Is that you trying to change the subject?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

Sighing I collected my thoughts. "I have done three sports all through High School. Until this year, my dad never missed a single game I was in. Even if I was just standing on the sidelines. He was always there. He would travel and watch me wrestle at every tournament. He would travel and watch me throw in track. He stayed each and every time, until I had finished my events and then he would drive himself home while I rode the bus. No matter how busy he was, or how poor we were, he would go to each and every game."

She tilted her head, "That's nice and all, but what does that have to do with you not taking your pain pills?"

"Be patient. When I was a freshman, my mom never came to a single game. I made the Varsity squad my freshman year. I suited up at every game, and played a few quarters here and there. I wasn't a starter, but I was still really good. I was named Defensive Player of the Year in the Freshman squad for our District."

She leaned in and kissed me. "I know. I used to go and watch you play. You ass looked great in football pants."

I chuckled, and then I sighed. "Last game of the season my dad called my mom and got pissed at her for not showing up to any of the games. She promised she would come. My dad told me, and I remember being so excited. So proud."

Karly's face went grave. "I'm not going to like what I'm about to hear am I?"

I sighed again. "She showed up all right. Very drunk. I guess she did what she thought parents did at those events. She screamed and she cheered. She made a total ass of herself. I was so embarrassed." I shook my head. "She ended up getting escorted out."

Karly laid her head against me, shaking it sadly. "You know, I don't know your family very well, but I sure as hell don't like them very much."

I shrugged, "Doesn't matter. They are who they are. I am who I am."

She turned her head and looked through her eyelashes at me. "So, you're scared you'll end up like her?"

"That shit runs in families. I figure if I never let it sink its hooks in, I can never pull me under."

She bumped me playfully. "I get it now. You know best. Just promise me you won't suffer if it gets to be too much for you, okay?"

I laid my head on hers, "Deal."

She moved quickly and kissed me on the cheek. "Now, give me that form so we can finish getting you your Varsity Letter!"

I held the form away from her. "I got this."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously again. "Let. Me. Help."

I kissed her on the lips this time. "Baby girl. Think about how much homework we have to do every day. I need to practice this. For eight weeks, I'm not going to be able to write with my right hand. This is going to be super tough. I'm used to being able to do my homework lightning fast. Now, I'm going to be struggling to write my name."

She kissed my forehead. "You are smart sometimes."

I smiled, laid my head against hers and continued filling my form out.

Coach wandered in and handed me a bottle of Gatorade. "Hey lovebirds."

I took the bottle with a smile and a raise of my eyebrows. I held the bottle up to him. "Coach, don't sweat it. You got stressed and said something stupid. I'm not mad at you. You don't need to try to make it up to me."

He smiled at me. "You're a good kid Gabby. I screwed up. A bottle of Gatorade is a pretty simple way to try to say sorry."

I popped it open and took a big drink. "Gift accepted."

He looked down at my Varsity form. I was shocked when he took it from me, crumpled it up and threw it over his shoulder.

"Coach! I had to fill that out with my left hand!" I screamed.

He laughed and shook his head. "You don't need to fill it out. You lettered. Case closed."

I looked at him deadpan. "Coach. I don't want to be treated differently."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "New rule. Anyone that breaks a bone on the mat and finishes the match automatically letters."

Karly laughed her ass off.

I bumped her, "What are you laughing your ass off about over there hyena girl?"

She pointed at me, "You kept wrestling with a broken wrist like a dumb ass."

I reached over and mussed her hair up. She hated that...

Chapter 13

It had been a week since the State wrestling tournament. I was sitting in my place after school, trying to shake off the boredom and loneliness that came along with me sitting here alone. I decided it sucked.

Normally, after school sports kept me busy. Football dovetailed into wrestling, wrestling dovetailed into track. This was my first break between sports where I was living on my own. Winter break I was with Karly most of the time. Now, without some sport keeping me busy I got home at a decent time and instead of rushing to put some food in me, get my homework done and get off to sleep I was stuck with all this time to sit and stare at the walls.

The one upside was that I got to ride home with Karly. She drove me home each night. Sometimes she came in and kept me company...

Tonight though, I was alone.

It wasn't terrible. I wasn't falling into a funk, but it still sucked.

I sat there for another fifteen minutes or so and decided that I wanted to talk to someone. I could feel the pressure building, and I didn't want to fall into a serious spiral.

I called Karly. She picked up on the second ring.

"Are you okay?" She asked. I could hear the panic in her voice.

It shamed me. She thought so little of me...

"I'm okay. I was just sitting here and staring at the walls and thought I'd like to hear a friendly voice."

"Well... okay... are you sure you're okay?"

This was weird. "Yeah, I'm fine. Am I bothering you?"

"No. No not at all. I mean I'm happy you called. I was just thinking of you. It's just weird for you to call and just... you know... talk."

I thought about it for a minute. I realized with more than a little shame that she was right. Man, I was slipping. Karly deserved better than that.

"Baby girl, I'm so sorry." I shook my head at myself. "I'm dropping the ball here."

"No. No, don't think like that. I see you all the time. I get plenty of Gabby time. I'm not stressing about it." She assured me.

I shook my head at my own stupidity. "No. It's not all right. You deserve a boyfriend that can't wait to hear your voice all the time. I'll do better."

She sighed at me, "Don't be stupid. Normally, you'd be at practice right now. It's weird to have you off. Honestly, I wasn't even missing it..." She paused for a second. "Okay, that sounded really mean."

I laughed at her. "Don't sweat it."

We sat there quietly. This was awkward.

"You suck at this phone thing." She said to me suddenly, laughing.

I shook my head. "You're right. I do suck at this phone thing."

"So why did you call? What brought it on?"

I sighed, shrugged and decided to tell her. "I was just sitting there and staring at the walls and decided that I wanted to hear a friendly voice." I paused for a second. "You're kind of the only person I have to talk to..."

"Me, and Jeremy." She reminded me.

I nodded my head. I had been spending more time with Jeremy lately. He had even come over and had dinner with me the other night. She was right. I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself. I should be reaching out to the people that had made me a priority in their life...

"And Joe." She added.

That put my hackles up.

"Not Joe." I corrected her.

She sighed loudly. "I know you're mad at him, but he is still your friend. He's giving you space right now because he knows he screwed up, but you should still realize that he cares about you. I know he'd never make the same mistake with you that he made the last time. You should think about forgiving him."

I shook my head. "I want to forgive him, but I also don't want to get slammed again."

"You can't always do everything alone. You need people to talk to."

"I have you." I told her.

She was quiet for a while. In fact, she was quiet so long that I started to worry that she might have something to tell me... something I wasn't going to like.

"You need more than me. What about when you get frustrated with me? Who do you talk to about that?"

"You. Shouldn't I talk to you about being frustrated with you?"

She sighed, "Okay, yes, that's right. Stupid question. I just..." she paused for a moment to think. "I just want to make sure you have people watching out for you, okay?"

I chuckled, my worries gone. She was just mother-hening me. "I'm okay."

Chapter 14

The next day was Saturday, and I spent my morning sleeping in and generally being lazy.

Normally, my Saturdays were spent rushing around for one sport thing or another. During football season, there was a meeting and a post-game workout. During wrestling and track, I normally had tournaments to participate in.

It was actually really refreshing to have some time off. To have an opportunity to just take it easy and relax.

I put a movie on to have some sound in the house, and took to cleaning. Karly was going to come over and we were going to spend the day together and I always liked things to be nice and tidy when she came over. I realized on some level that she really didn't seem to care, but I always liked making her nest nice and cozy...

She was supposed to be over at eleven, and eleven came and went.

I figured that she was just running late.

By noon, I was getting worried and I was just about to call her when I heard the door at the bottom of the stairs open and her familiar pounding up the stairs. She opened the door and bounced into my arms, kissing me fiercely. I hugged her, keeping my cast well and safe away from her. She was a gentle creature, but she really was like a puppy with a new toy sometimes, and she could get a little rowdy...

She broke from my kiss, her eyes closed. Her face glowed. "I will never get used to how good that feels..." She purred.

I pulled her close and kissed her again, "Promise?"

She smiled and my world lit up. "I promise."

She bit her lip, the way she did when she was nervous.

"Uh-oh." I said aloud.

She smiled at me and curled into herself, pushing me backward towards my big comfy chair. I fell into it, again, being careful of my hand. She dropped into my lap and kissed me again.

"Yep, I'm definitely in trouble now..." I told her.

She smiled and tried her best 'I'm innocent' look on me.

"What did you do?" I asked her.

She preened up a bit and wrapped her arms around me. "You remember that you love me, right?"

I pulled her in and kissed her to remind her how much I loved her.

She broke, her eyes fluttering. "Okay. Check. You definitely love me."

"I say again, what did you do?" This time I put a little more steel into my voice.

She paused a second. I got the feeling I wasn't going to like this...

"I got you a present." She finally settled. "But. You have to promise not to get mad at me. Deal?"

I gave her a dark look. "No deal. I know you. You're crazy as a shit house rat. There's no telling what you did."

"I just got you something silly." She put on her best little girl act. When she hugged me I knew I was definitely screwed.

"It's in the car. I have to run and get it. Okay?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Why don't I help you go get it? Then we can leave it in the car when I decide there is no way I'm accepting whatever crazy generous thing you've gotten me..."

She paused a second. "No. That won't work. This is one of those things that you can't just leave in the car."

I narrowed my eyes at her.

She put her finger on my chest. "Since you won't promise to not be mad, you have to promise to stay right here in Mr. Chair, okay?"

I growled at her. "You better come back into this apartment naked..."

She paused a second. "I could do that."

I threw my head back and she kissed me, laughing. "Let me get your present, then we'll discuss naked time."

I pulled her into me and kissed her. I suddenly wanted her very much. "Let's discuss naked time right now... then we'll talk about the present."

She pushed away from me and I could see the desire in her eyes. "No. Down boy. Present first. Then naked time."

I growled.

She jumped up and bounced her way out of the room. I knew this was going to be trouble...

Within a minute, she was bounding up the stairs again. I couldn't see the front door from my chair, but I could hear her sneak back in.

"Cover your eyes!" She called out.

"I'm not covering my eyes. Knowing your crazy ass, you'll throw a snake on me or something else equally insane."

"You don't like snakes?" She asked. "Good to know!"

I covered my eyes just to make her happy. "For the record, I don't mind snakes."

"Sure, sure, throw snakes... whatever."

"If you throw a snake on me, remember payback is a bitch."

She giggled. "Noted. Now are your eyes covered?"

I rolled my eyes beneath my hand. "Yes, oh crazy goddess. They are closed."

I could hear her move into the room with me. "No peeking."

I was starting to get really interested in what she had come up with. I knew it would be insane. I knew I would probably have to come up with a way to politely refuse her...

Karly had way too much money, and way too little impulse control. She was also completely smitten with me and she loved to shower me with things I couldn't afford. It was something I really needed to talk with her about. I was starting to get concerned that she would start to worry that I was only with her because of what she bought me. I needed to figure out a way to make her understand that I really didn't care about what she bought me, or what she gave me. I was happy with her, and she was all I needed...

"You better be naked when I take my hand away!" I joked with her.

"That might be awkward." I could hear the excitement in her voice. She was practically giddy. "Okay! You can look now!"

I took my hand away from my eyes...

Karly was standing there... a look on her face like she had just gotten busted with her hand in the cookie jar. In her arms was a squirming mass of yellow fur.

She thrust it out to arm's length, holding it beneath its front legs. "Puppy!"

Oh. My. God.

She's insane. She finally snapped a belt and went off the rails.

The puppy she held was small, just a little bigger than a handful. I knew my puppies. This one was maybe six weeks. Just barely old enough to be separated from its mother...

It was some sort of Labrador cross. Yellowish, bordering on white.

It was the cutest thing I had ever seen.

My eyes went from the puppy to her elated face. Puppy. Beaming smile. Puppy. Beaming smile.

I really fucking wanted that puppy.

"No."

She pulled the puppy into her arms and came over to me. "Now, you haven't heard my plan."

I shook my head at her. "I don't need to hear your insane plan. I can't have that puppy, no matter how much I want it."

She held a finger up to me. "No. I've got it figured out, just hold her while I lay it out."

I crossed my arms. "I don't want to hold the puppy."

She smiled at me. She knew she had me...

She nodded, "You want to hold the puppy."

I really wanted to hold that fucking puppy.

She held her out to me and I took her from Karly gently. She was soft, and warm, with those amazingly sharp little claws and teeth every puppy seemed to have.

I leaned back in my chair and put her on my chest. She looked up at me with beautiful caramel brown eyes.

I wrinkled my nose at her and moved my nose in to touch hers. "Hello there."

Then I remembered that I couldn't have a puppy. It didn't matter how much I wanted the puppy, I couldn't take care of it.

I looked at Karly. "Karly."

She put her hands out. "I've got it worked out. You keep the puppy. The puppy makes you happy. Problem solved."

I narrowed my eyes at her. I knew now what she was doing...

Karly pounded on. "You need someone to keep you company. Boom, puppy. Problem solved. You need somebody to watch your house. Boom, puppy. Problem solved. You need someone to talk to when you get lonely. Boom, puppy. Problem solved."

My heart melted a little bit more for her. When I called her last night the thought that went into her head was that I was sitting here all alone. She thought of all of the times I had talked to her about past dogs I had owned, and all the times that a dog had helped to hold my sanity together...

So, she got me a dog.

I sighed. I really wanted a dog. It was something I had thought about so many times... hell, I had even considered getting a fucking cat... and I fucking hate cats.

I looked at Karly, sighing. "Baby girl. I really want her." I shook my head. "But I can't keep her. I can't take care of her. I'm barely home. I was just thinking this morning how weird it was to have a Saturday morning to myself. I'll never be here for her."

Karly knelt in front of me. She reached out and fingered my cast. "Babe. You're going to have a lot more Saturdays free. With this, you're going to be on the shelf for a while. At least what? Seven more weeks?"

My heart fell. I knew she was right.

"I know track starts next week, but you can't even practice with this on." Her eyes were filled with sorrow. She knew how hard that was going to be for me. "You throw discus. Now unless you somehow learn to do that in the next couple weeks left handed you're not going to be working out with the team. That means every night, you're going to be home. Alone. Now I can be here sometimes, but not all the time. You cut your friends out of your life. So, I can't even count on them to help me pick up the slack." I started to argue and she held her finger up. "I know why, but it doesn't change the facts. You're alone too much, and right now you don't need to be spending all that time alone."

Her face melted. "I need to know someone is here looking out for you."

I felt tears start to sting my eyes. She was right.

"I can see you spiraling down. You're putting a brave face on it, and not talking to me, but I can see you getting more and more depressed. The fact that you're not talking to me about it is actually really freaking me out. You're isolating yourself and I can't pull you out of it." She laid her hand on the puppy and started to rub her ears. Then she looked down and I saw tears start to streak down her face. "I know she can pull you out of it."

Tears ran down my face.

I felt so weak. I knew she was right. I was lonely. I needed someone that I could talk to. I couldn't afford to keep staring at the walls and try to keep them from closing in on me. I was spiraling badly.

I wanted this so badly, hell, I even knew it was good for me, but it didn't change reality. I had no way to take care of myself, I had no right to put another life in that situation with me.