Finding Love after a Broken Heart

When I walked in, everyone was sitting in the family room. John and Sarah were also over. Anna was pregnant again. Katie was playing with Johnny on the floor with huge blocks. "You didn't change?" Chad smiled when he saw I was still in my uniform. I hadn't even removed my weapon. I was too preoccupied about the ring that I forgot to take it off. "And who are the roses for?"

"They're for you. I was hoping to do this at home, but you weren't there." I got down on my knee in front of him and opened the ring box. "Chad, would you do the honors of marrying me?"

His mouth opened and shut and opened again, his eyes were watering and he had a death grip on my hand.

"Chad?"

"Oh my God, yes, Tony. Yes." I kissed and pulled him into a hug. I bought him two rings, which when put together are as wide as my band. One of his was diamonds-embedded around the top half of the band. The other band was solid. I took the one ring out of the box and put it on his finger. It fit perfectly. "How did you know my size?"

"Guessed." I hadn't really. As I've said, Freddy and he were so similar, I just asked for the size Freddy would wear. I know it is terrible to keep comparing them, but as I've also said, they are so similar it scares me. "I love you, Chad."

"I love you, too."

We decided to just stay engaged for a little while. We had a little backyard wedding on September twentieth. We had been together two years and two months by then. We only had a few family members and friends there. We both wore white tuxes with a red rose. The picture sits on the mantel right next to Freddy's and mine. I was going to take it down and put it away, but Chad said it belonged there, so it stayed.

When we were together for four full years, married for almost two, both John and Ryan had two kids each, and Anna and Sarah were pushing Chad and I to adopt. One night a few months later, Chad and I were cuddling in bed. "Babe, have you considered adoption?" Chad asked.

"Honestly, I've been thinking about it more and more lately. Would you want a child, Babe?"

"I've been thinking about it a lot more since I turned twenty-seven last month," Chad responded. "It is weird. Every time Anna and Sarah have brought it up before, I really wasn't keen on the idea, but lately..."

"Yeah, lately I've been thinking about it also."

"Well since we are talking about it, Honey, do you want to be a father at thirty-three? You probably will be older than that by time we are cleared to adopt."

"I think if John and Ryan can do it, I should be able to do it," I smiled and pulled him tighter to me.

In the following months we did apply to adopt and became foster parents to a little three year old. The agency called Chad one afternoon and told him they had a little boy that needed to be placed in a home. He had lost his parents in a fire, and there were no relatives that could be found. The kid had been in another foster home for a few months while they were searching for a relative, but the other foster home didn't want a permanent kid. So the agency was asking if we wanted him with possibility of starting adoption process in a few months. Chad didn't even take a second to think. He told them yes, and asked when he could pick him up. They told him he was ready right then to be picked up.

I didn't know that we were placed with a child until I got off duty and home. I was working a shift-and-a-half and Chad knew he couldn't call me when I was on patrol. When I came home, John's car was at my house, so I assumed Sarah, Anna, and Ryan with all the kids were there too. I walked in and the kids were running around and there was an extra one. Chad looked up at me and smiled. "Honey, you look tired."

"I am, but I see we have company and an extra kid running around. Never seen him before, whose kid is it?"

"Nice that you feel like we are a burden tonight." John jeered.

"Honey, the kid is ours." I was about walk out of the living room down the hall to take a shower when Chad announced that.

I turned around and looked at Chad, stunned, "Say again?"

"He is ours." Chad was smiling along with everyone else in the room. Chad got up and walked over to me. "Babe," he tapped my forehead and laughed, "are you there?"

"You said he is ours?"

"Yes, Babe. He is ours. With option to adopt in a few months."

"Really?" I was smiling now. Yes, having the kid here already was a little breath taking because I just figured we would be called down together and it would be a few more months. "Wow. What's his name?" Everyone looked at each other when I asked that. "What's going on?"

"Well Honey, I didn't find out his name until I got down to the agency."

"Okay, that is fine, what is it?"

"Fredrick."

I just stood there and looked at Chad.

"Freddy." Freddy ran up to Chad and hit his leg to remind him, I looked down at Freddy and he looked up at me.

"Freddy?"

"Yeah Babe, Freddy." I bent down and picked him up. He didn't shy away from me. "He is a very smart little boy for being only three." Chad hugged me when I put Freddy back down. He wanted to run around more. "Honey, go and take a shower and change. We were waiting to have dinner. The kids already ate."

I was stunned, I will tell you the truth. Was I ready to have a kid in the home? Not completely. Was I ready to have a kid in the home that was named, Freddy? I didn't know. I think I took the longest shower I have ever take that night. When I came out to the kitchen, everyone looked concerned.

Anna walked up to me and put her arms around me. "He needs someone, please don't turn him away."

I softened at that. "I'm not. It just freaks me out a little. That's all, really." Chad came and hugged me next.

"Babe, I love you."

I laughed, "I love you too, Chad. It is okay. Really it is. But I'm hungry, and you know what I turn into if I get too hungry." I smiled at Chad.

Having Freddy in the house was a blessing. He was full of energy and tired both Chad and I out. Chad's mom watched him when we both had to work, which was a blessing in itself, because it saved a ton on childcare. We did end up adopting him after six months, and he completed our family. We didn't adopt or foster another one. Having Freddy was enough for the both of us. Now I know why my parents stopped at one.

Chad and I just celebrated our sixth anniversary, and we have a second grader in the house. Freddy is a little social bee. We have kids over at the house all the time along with Katie and Kyle, Anna and Ryan's two, and John and Sarah's two, John Jr. and Nicky. When they all sleep over, let's just say it isn't fun for me. They know I'm a big softy and over run me big time. Chad hates that I give into everything. He feels like the hated one because he has to maintain control. I need to start stepping up, or Chad is going to refuse to sleep with me one of these days.

Chad is still my world though, and he knows it, because he can get me to do anything too. I bring him roses once a week for no reason at all. Every once in a blue moon, because I know his favorite flower is daisies I will bring them home. He thinks I don't realize they are his favorite, but I know they are, so I keep those for special times. Roses are just a dime a dozen, I keep telling him. He still calls me his blockhead, and I hope he never stops, because as I said before he is my world. Well, he and Freddy are my world and it is a beautiful one.

Edited 10/18/2017