For the Love of Shawna

"One of the things that Josh said is that you and Bobby broke up."

"Yeah. Turns out he was seeing Wendy Johnson so he could, um..."

"Get his rocks off?" suggested Jessica.

"Not a cliché that's used much anymore, but it's one way of putting it."

"Josh told me very pointedly that you are still a virgin. I was surprised to hear that. Most people lose their virginity around sixteen or seventeen."

"That might have happened if you all hadn't had to move. I told Josh about me not having done it Monday when I found out about Bobby and Wendy. I mentioned how I was glad I hadn't done anything with him. Then I just sort of let it slip out that I wanted my first time to be with someone a lot more special than Bobby."

"Yes, if you're going to do that, you definitely want it to be with someone special. Did you know that he is also still a virgin? I was surprised by that, too."

"Um. It didn't come up in conversation. I never thought about it."

"Josh said something rather profound, though. He said that as important as the first time was and that it should be very special, he thought that even if he weren't your first, it was just as important to him that he be your last. You know what he means, right? He means that he is totally in love with you and wishes for a life with you."

"That's really sweet," Shawna answered. Then she thought for a second before continuing. "Can I let you in on a secret?"

"Sure, sweetie. You can talk to me about anything, remember?"

"I started looking for an excuse to get rid of Bobby as soon as you guys moved back here. I don't know why I didn't just break it off when I first saw you guys getting out of the car. I always thought that it would be Joshua and I forever, and that's why I never let any of the guys I went with have sex with me. I never thought I'd see you guys again, though, and I did date some. But none of them were for more than a couple of weeks, maybe a month at the most, except for Bobby. And I think he knew that I wasn't going to stay with him, and I think the only reason he hadn't broke up with me already was that he hadn't gotten into my panties yet. I was actually kind of glad when I found out about him and Wendy."

"Are you saying that you like Josh the same as he likes you? asked Jessica.

"Yeah," Shawna replied blushing again. "I really do. I wish I had dumped Bobby a lot sooner. Josh has been a big help with getting me through all this fucked up mess with my parents."

"I think maybe you ought to tell him all of this. But take your time. Do it when you feel the time is right."

"Okay." Shawna thought for a minute then looked back at the older woman. "Jessica, can I ask you something? It's kind of personal."

"Again, you can talk to me about anything, Shawna."

"It's Josh's birthday today, and I would like to do something special for him," she blushed. "Could you help me make it special for him?"

Jessica smiled."Tell you what. After you finish that last piece of toast, why don't you go home and get changed, and you and I will go out and go shopping. We'll get some things that will really help with that, and I will talk with you about what you might need to know to make things go a little smoother. Just be sure that you really want this before you make it happen."

"I'm sure. I'm really sure. I'll be back as soon as I finish getting cleaned up and changed."

Shawna noticed that Carol was not home and that her bed had not been slept in. She figured she must have been with her boyfriend all night, probably at his apartment. She knew it had to be an apartment since he was going to be moving here instead of them trying to move wherever he lived. For once, she didn't care. She wasn't going to let her mother's actions ruin her day, and for that matter, she thought, she wouldn't let her attitude and problems dictate her own any more. She went to her own room, retrieved clean clothes, and moved to the bathroom to shower.

By the time she was done, Carol had returned home. She smiled at her daughter and greeted her amicably

"Hi, baby. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, mom."

"That's good, I know this has all been hard on you. I didn't mean for it to be."

"That's okay, mom. I'll be fine. Looking at your bed, I guess you didn't make it home last night."

"No," her mother answered. "I fell asleep at the motel."

"Shit," thought Shawna. "The bastard had to get them a motel room? Did that mean that he was also married?" However, she didn't put her thoughts into words, but just nodded her head.

"Today's Joshua's birthday, mom. I'm going shopping with Jessica so that we can get things for it. She's making a special meal and all that, so I will be eating with them tonight."

"Okay, dear. That will give me time to do some things that I need to get done. Remember that we have a dinner planed for tomorrow at twelve thirty. Be sure that Josh knows so that he's on time getting here. I sort of need to have him here for something. And wish him a happy birthday for me, will you?"

"Sure, mom. And we'll be here on time." With that, Shawna stepped out the door and walked to the Caldwell house next door to join Jessica for their day of shopping.

`Joshua entered the house at just after five thirty. Jessica and Shawna were busy with preparations for the meal, but as soon as they heard the door open, Shawna left as quickly as she could. She met him just after the door closed and jumped into his arms, kissing him madly and fully. Joshua was surprised, but after the initial shock, quickly wrapped his arms around her, closed his eyes, and returned the kiss, pulling her to him tightly and opening his mouth slightly as he felt her tongue against his lips. Their tongues began the familiar dance that couples have known throughout the ages for the first time and neither of them wanted to stop. Shawna finally pulled herself from the kiss, looking into his dark eyes.

"Happy birthday, love," she said simply.

Joshua was shocked by the term of endearment but couldn't keep the smile from his face. Then he drew her to him again to continue their kiss. Jessica had come out of the kitchen a bit after Shawna and just stood and watched with a smile on her face.

"Okay, you two," she said finally. "There will plenty of time for that later. Josh, why don't you go get washed up while Shawna and I finish the dinner?"

Joshua leaned in for one more quick kiss and whispered "Thanks, sweet lips," then made his way towards the bathroom.

"Dress up for dinner, Josh," Shawna's voice called after him. "Dancing afterwards."

Joshua turned and noticed the dress that Shawna wore. It was a deep blue evening gown that fell half way between her knees and the tops of her feet with a slit up the side that ended demurely a few inches below her hip. It was perfect for dancing in, and she looked stunning. His eyes drank her in and he smiled as he turned towards his room and the bathroom.

Before dinner, Joshua and Mark moved the furniture in the living room to the sides of the walls so that there was room to dance. The conversation was easy during dinner and he could see that Shawna was doing much better. She was smiling now and seemed much happier than she had in recent days. "Perhaps," he thought, "she is getting over the feeling of abandonment."

After dinner, Joshua was pushed to open his presents. His parents had gotten him a new oscilloscope and it was top of the line.

"Shawna said that your old one may have been broke during the move," Jessica said.

"Actually," Joshua laughed," it was alright. But this one is much better and I was saving up to buy it. Thanks, I really appreciate it."

It didn't take long to go through the small stack of presents and enjoy the cake and ice cream. Before long the two couples were back in the living room to begin a night of dancing.

As they danced to a variety of music, Joshua decided to approach the subject that had been on his mind since he had gotten home. "You seem a lot more relaxed. Are you okay with what is going on with your parents?"

"Not really," she answered. "I just decided that I wasn't going to let mom's shenanigans keep me from a life of my own."

"Well, it's good to see you smile again. You know that I love you, don't you?"

"Of course I do," she replied giving him a kiss. "And I love you just the same."

"I don't mean like a best friend, Shawna.'

"Josh, honey. I know exactly what you meant. And I meant what I said. I love you with all my heart. You have been my best friend, my confidant, my comforter in the hardest time of my life. I knew long ago that I was in love with you, and I still am. I am completely yours, sweetheart. Now and forever. I love you that much and in that way."

Joshua pulled her into his arms and held her as tight as he could. She leaned her head up and they drew into another kiss that was deep and loving.

"We're headed to bed, guys," Mark said. "See you all in the morning."

Jessica drew Shawna aside momentarily and whispered "good luck. And remember all the things I said today about relaxing."

At the same time, Mark shook Joshua's hand. "Josh," he said. "One word of advice. Don't be too quick. Slower is better, and always, always treat her right. She is special to you. Always be sure that she knows it."

"Sure, dad," he responded confusedly.

Then the younger couple found themselves alone. "I think this has been the best birthday I've ever had. I thought it was going to be really bad because you have had such a horrible week and when you hurt, I hurt. But you've made this day really great."

"It's not over yet, lover. You've still got one more present to unwrap."

"You've already given me the best present I could have received when you met me at the door with that kiss. It was the greatest feeling in the world to have your sweet lips on mine."

"I think that was from the glaze I had put on the bananas," she giggled. "Some of it got on my fingers and I licked it off."

"Glaze or not, it's still the best present. I love it every time we kiss."

"There will be plenty more. But I think it's time for you to unwrap your final gift."

"Okay, but nothing could top the one you already gave me. Where is it?"

"This way," she answered with a giggle leading him towards his room.

When they reached the door of the bathroom, Shawna stopped. "You go get ready for bed. I need to stop in here."

"Damn," came Mark's voice from his parents room next to where they stood. "Did you just do that today? It's beautiful."

Joshua looked confused as Jessica gave a small laugh.

"We went to the spa while your mom and I were out today. They do waxing," Shawna explained.

"Oh," said Joshua. Then the realization hit him what his dad must have been talking about. "Oh," he said again. Then another thought came to mind and he looked at Shawna questioningly.

"Yes," she said quietly with a smile. "Me, too."

"Oh," Joshua said again and grinned.

"Go on and get ready," she giggled. "I'll be right there with your last present." She walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

"Yep," thought Joshua. "Best birthday ever!"

He made his way to his bedroom and thought about how to dim the light. After changing out of his dress clothes into his usual sweats, he placed a cloth over the lamp and found it was sufficiently light enough to be able to see what he was doing but still dim enough to be romantic. Then he started looking through his collection of C.D.'s. Choosing one, he placed it into the player and made sure it was on repeat. As he turned, he saw Shawna at the door. She was wearing a silky, knee-length, dark red nightgown that was low cut enough to be sexy while not being too overt. Her long, brown hair fell just a little below her shoulders, and her dark brown eyes were barely visible in the dim light, making them seem all the more sultry. She spread a large towel across the bed then turned and walked towards him as Kenny G.'s "Songbird" started playing and wrapped her arms around him as they kissed.

"Shawna," Joshua pulled out of the kiss. "I love you more than anything in the world. I want this, but I want to be sure that you are ready for it. I don't want you hurt anymore than you have been already lately. Are you sure about this?"

In answer, she put her finger to his lips to hush him, then pushed her mouth back to his. As they kissed again she grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt and pulled it up. She pulled back to raise it over his head and draped it over the chair next to his work table. As the second verse of "Songbird" started, she pulled her nightgown off and draped it on the same chair, revealing her C-cup breasts and completely bare womanhood to her lover for the first time. He fondled her left breast while they began kissing again. Then he felt her hands on the waistband of his sweats. she lowered them quickly along with his underwear and kneeling in front of him had him step out of them. They ended up folded neatly over the chair before she lowered herself to her knees again and took him into her mouth.

Joshua gave a small moan as she worked her tongue over the head of his manhood. Then she pulled him into her mouth as far as she could and bobbed her head back and forth for a few minutes before standing again. With one hand on his very erect penis, she used the other to guide him towards the bed. He lay down and they began the dance with their tongues again as she lay next to him. His right hand wandered to her left breast as they kissed and she moaned into his mouth. Slowly, he released his mouth from hers and started kissing her neck. His hand moved across to her right breast as his mouth continued to move down the skin of her neck. As his mouth reached a breast, he moved a hand to that sweet spot between her legs and gently began to massage and slowly enter her, though not very deep. Her moans let him know that he was doing something right as he followed his hand further south with his mouth Before long, he could feel her getting very wet and his lips kissed the bare mound above her slit. She began writhing at the feeling of his mouth kissing her. Finally, he moved between her legs and started kissing her and licking her, sucking on her clitoris.

"Ooohhh," Shawna moaned. "That feels wonderful." her body was raising off the bed as Joshua copied every move he could think of from the videos he had watched on the internet. What he lacked in experience, he made up for in his desire to please her, and it wasn't long before her back was arching off the bed as she directed him to where it felt good and away from the spots that seemed less erogenous untill she had her first orgasm. He moved just as slowly back up her body as he had moving down it, and once again began to kiss her. After a few seconds, he withdrew from her mouth to once again give her the opportunity to stop if she felt she was not ready for this step. She rose up looking at him, then she put one knee on each side of him straddling his pelvis. Slowly, she lowered herself on to him, holding his erection up so that it entered her. The head made contact with the outside of her most secret place, and she pushed it in just a little. He felt the penetration as she lowered herself further, and then felt a resistance at which point she stopped. She raised back off him a little and started to lower herself down. This time taking more of him in. She made one final downward thrust, and gripped his shoulders, holding her breath. It made the pain a little more bearable, but her mouth still opened in a silent scream as her head lifted towards the ceiling and her nails dug into his skin where she gripped him hard. She held still for a minute letting the pain ebb as a tear wound its way down her cheek from her left eye. Then she began to move slowly up and down his shaft, the feel of him inside of her beginning to feel pleasurable instead of painful and her natural lubrication beginning to flow more easily, making her wetter. Pressing herself against him she started kissing him again.

"I am yours completely," she whispered. Their breathing became more labored as they moved against each other's bodies. After a couple of minutes, Joshua grabbed her and rotated their bodies so that he was on top. He began thrusting into her as deeply as he could, and she wrapped her legs and arms around him as they again found each other's mouths for a deep loving kiss. He knew that he wouldn't last long and he tried to withdraw before he lost control. She pulled him tighter to him with her legs and moaned in his ear. "Stay there," she said. He did so and again thrust deeply into her. She felt every thrust push against her cervix, and felt him grow harder inside her as his own release began to build.

"I'm going to cum," he said. "Shouldn't I pull out?"

"No," she answered. "I want you inside me. I am on the pill. Mom insisted on it when I turned sixteen."

With a few more thrusts, he felt a familiar churning and pushed deeply within her as he unloaded his sperm. As he did, she moaned as a second orgasm overtook her and the two lovers collapsed in each other's arms on the bed.

"I think that every time we make love from now on, I will hear the music of Kenny G. whether there is any music in the background or not," Shawna said. "That was a wonderful experience, Joshua. I loved it. Thank you for letting me control things at the beginning. It made it a lot easier for me to decide when to push through."

"You mean everything to me, sweetheart. I figured it would be best to let you set the pace."

"This was absolutely great. But we have to talk, now. There are some things that I have to tell you."

She rose out of the bed and wiped what little blood there was on the towel before tossing it to him to do the same. Then she grabbed his sweats and underwear and threw them to him before pulling her nightgown back on.

"Oh, no," said Joshua. "You regret it already?"

"Baby, I love you. Nothing in this world could make me regret being with you. This talk has nothing to do with that. I am yours completely and always will be. Understand?"

"Okay. It's just that I can see that this is serious and I couldn't stand to lose you again."

"You will never lose me, lover. But, with me saying that I am yours, I have to demand that it is the same with you. I mean that you must be mine totally and completely."

"Always and forever, Shawna. I always have been yours, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Good. That might make it easier for me to say what I need to say.

"I spent all day today with your mom. We went shopping and did a lot of talking. She was very helpful in more ways than one. We talked about what is happening with my parents quite a bit and she helped me figure how to deal with some of the emotions that go with that, though I had already decided that I wasn't going to let mom ruin things for me, but we also talked about tonight. She actually helped me plan all this, and decide what to wear and all kinds of things like that, including the towel. I wouldn't have thought of that. This nightgown is new. She's the one who suggested I should get it for tonight. She also gave me a lot of advise about how to make this first time go easier. She told me how to take my time and to be on top so that I control when I would have that initial thrust go through. She also told me that I needed to be honest with you about everything in my past. I think this is an excellent time to tell you about that. It's important that you know, okay?"

"Okay, sweetheart."

"When you left," she said as she lay back down on the bed next to him and cuddled into his arms," I thought I would never see you again. I thought that I had to find a way to move on, so when I was allowed, I started dating. Since you've been gone, there were five guys that I dated. None of them were serious and none of them made it into my panties. There was a reason for that.