Freshman Ch. 00: Prologue

Smiling sheepishly at his thoughts, he extended his hand and knocked on the door. Silence greeted him and he waited a few seconds before trying again. Still nothing.

Muttering a mild curse under his breath, he shook his head and looked around the hallway. Suddenly his plan of getting there a little early seemed stupidly short-sighted. What was he going to do now? Stand in front of the door in silence like some stalker weirdo? There wasn't even any place to sit.

Sighing, he decided he'd perhaps go back down to the main floor of the dorm and see if there was a soda machine or something. He'd just turned back towards the stairwell when he heard his name.

"Kevin?"

An automatic tingle shot over his scalp as he whirled back around to face the sound. He recognized the voice easily and it made him stir. However, he'd been unprepared for the accompanying image.

He swallowed as he saw Rebecca walking towards him, smiling, less than fifteen feet away. But it wasn't her smile that made his blood pump. Her body was covered only by a bright pink towel, with a matching miniature partner wrapped firmly around her head. She was carrying a shower caddy in her right hand, her left holding the tucked in flaps directly over her boobs. Her tanned skin glowed against the contrast of the towel. She looked incredible.

She continued smiling at Kevin as she finally reached her door, but she raised a curious eyebrow.

"Hey! What are you doing here?"

Kevin swallowed through the pinches of his drying throat and forced a smile back as he attempted to regain control of his voice. Pulling a breath in through his nose, he indicated to her door.

"Hey! Uh, I was actually meeting Rachel. She texted me and said that she'd be getting out of class soon and that I should just come here."

Rebecca smiled again and nodded in understanding. She smirked to herself as she watched Kevin's eyes flick quickly down her toweled frame. Grinning at his tangible nervousness, she turned the door knob and nodded her chin back to him.

"Well come on in. I'm sure she'll be here soon."

Kevin swallowed again and stepped cautiously into the room behind her. As he closed the door, he felt a sudden rush go through his stomach as the reality that he was alone with Rebecca while she was wearing nothing but a towel sunk in thickly. His eyes drifted over the smooth contour of her legs and around the noticeable curve of her covered ass. He shook his head and looked away.

Rebecca set her shower caddy down and turned back around to face him. Securing the knot by her chest, she carefully unwrapped her head towel and began drying the strands of her long, dark hair. She smiled warmly at Kevin.

"Sorry about this. I was just grabbing a shower after practice. Didn't know you'd be here."

She paused as she set her hair towel down on her dresser and idly retrieved her phone. As she scrolled through her missed messages, she nodded again at Kevin without looking at him.

"You guys hanging here or you have plans or what?"

Kevin stepped around the edge of one of the room's two beds and sat gingerly down on the corner. He shrugged.

"Not sure. Might grab lunch or something if she hasn't eaten. We didn't really have a set..."

He trailed off as he watched Rebecca smirk at her phone and shake her head. He raised an inquisitive eyebrow at her.

Rebecca placed her phone back down on the dresser and rolled her eyes at Kevin's curious look. She'd just read Rachel's text message saying that she might be late. And it was the reason for her potential tardiness that drew Rebecca's smirking grin.

"Rach actually texted me. She said she's running a little late."

She pursed her lips as she decided to leave out the part about Josh. She didn't want to treat Kevin with kid gloves, but it wasn't necessary to alert him every time Rachel was off likely blowing some another guy. She swallowed and decided to change the subject anyway.

"So when do you leave for school?"

Kevin idly scratched at his chin and licked his lips.

"Uh, a few days. Probably Monday morning. Gonna be a long drive."

Rebecca nodded and picked up a comb as she began brushing out the tangles of her wet hair.

"That's cool. You excited?"

Kevin smiled.

"Yeah, for sure. Definitely gonna be weird though. I don't know a single person out there. Not like you guys."

Rebecca felt a mild tingle go through her stomach as she sensed a hint of sadness in his tone. She didn't want to make him dwell on potentially upsetting topics, but she couldn't resist probing him a little.

"Yeah, Rach is definitely going to miss you. She's been talking about it all week."

She paused and stopped combing her hair.

"How are you doing with her and all that anyway?"

Kevin stiffened a bit as he processed Rebecca's inquiry. He didn't really like delving into his feelings about Rachel too much. He was in a good place with her, but when he thought about it too intensely, he sometimes started talking himself into the possibility that something beyond friendship might still be an option. It just wasn't a productive exercise.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm cool. We're cool. I think."

He sighed and decided to let out a little honesty.

"Like, I still have a little feeling for her. I don't know if she does too. But it's all good. It's not a big thing."

Rebecca smiled warmly as she studied Kevin's expression for clues that betrayed his words. She knew he surely still had a thing for Rachel to some extent; years of pent up emotion didn't just evaporate in a matter of weeks. However, she did have to admit that he did seem different ever since that week at the beach. His face no longer twitched with reflexive anxiety when Rachel was around. He'd even met Josh once, and while previously, being in the presence of someone she was clearly hooking up with would have caused him to retreat into a quiet ball of polite hurt, he'd seemed to have taken it all in genuine stride.

However, Rebecca also knew that the most damaging thing Kevin could do to the start of his new life would be to keep any sort of candle burning from afar. He'd be meeting new people and entering a new chapter and it would only hurt him if he wasn't fully present in the moment. She also strangely still felt a little responsible for his well-being, both as it related to him and the ripple effects it had on her best friend.

Narrowing her smiling eyes, she cocked her head and grinned.

"Well, listen to me, sweetie. I'm so proud of you for moving on like you have. Don't let any of that stupid shit stay in your head when you get out to school, okay? Live your life."

She paused as Kevin smiled back. Twisting her lips into an even more devious grin, she continued.

"In fact, here's what you're going to do. As soon as you get out there, you need to find the first cute girl you see and, well..."

She winked.

"You know what I'm saying."

Kevin's smile deepened but his cheeks began to flush with color. Yes, he understood her meaning, but...

He shook his head and cleared his throat.

"Yeah, I hear you. I dunno though. I'm not really like-. I mean, that sounds great and all, but-."

Rebecca squinted at his nervous tone and laughed out loud. Resuming her combing job, she spoke with playful dismissiveness, like she was giving obvious advice.

"Kevin, trust me. A little kick-off sex will be just what you need to turn the page. Just find some little freshman hottie, strike up a conversation, and then take her back to your new room and fuck her."

She paused and grinned at him as she watched his smile tighten at her perhaps unexpected language.

"It isn't rocket science, sweetie."

Kevin felt his cheeks burn as he processed the utter casualness of Rebecca's advice. She was just so smoothly confident about such things. It had been intimidating from the moment he'd met her, and even though they now had some (albeit very brief) sexual history together, it still made him feel like he was some inexperienced child in the presence of an adult.

His senses tingled as he watched Rebecca comb her hair and arch her back in her towel. It was awkward enough talking about sex with her. But to do so while she was a single slipped knot away from being completely naked? He swallowed and laughed back in a defensive tone.

"Rocket sci-? Yeah, easy for you to say. Look at you. I mean, guys just line up down the-."

He paused and shook his head as he stopped himself from saying too much. Grinning at her, he rolled his eyes.

"It's different for girls. Or at least girls like you or-. It's just different."

Rebecca again paused her combing as she turned to face Kevin fully. Her skin tingled gently as she processed his direct (if perhaps nervously fractured) compliments. It was obviously no secret that Kevin was into her (at least on a physical level) but he was usually pretty guarded about expressing such things. She smiled to herself as she recalled just how euphorically satisfied she'd left him that first night at the beach. And not just physically. But spiritually.

But beyond his words, something stood out about his tone and twitching demeanor. She was sure that standing in only her towel and talking about sex had something to do with that, but she was also just as sure that it wasn't the full story. She licked her lips as she studied his eyes. Inhaling a sudden sharp breath, she raised her eyebrows and tingled again.

She knew.

Placing her comb down, she took a few steps towards Kevin, keeping her friendly eyes on him as she approached. She smiled warmly and sat down next to him on the bed, almost touching his body. As she heard him swallow and felt the palpable stiffening of his neck, she took a deep breath and spoke as gently as she could.

"You've never done it before, have you? Had sex."

She kept her eyes warm as she watched his lungs pull a tight breath in and hold it. She'd purposefully avoided using the word 'virgin.' She knew sometimes that made people (especially guys) feel even more uncomfortable. But she also already knew the answer.

Kevin felt his ears catch fire and his muscles lock as he processed Rebecca's question and the extremely close proximity from which she'd asked it. His earlier feeling about the awkward inequity of their respective experience levels multiplied one-hundred fold and he fought to keep his head from spinning. He had no idea what to say.

His overwhelming nervousness finally pushing a reflexive laugh out of his chest, he blinked his eyes and looked down at his legs. Feeling like he was in the middle of a cliché dream, he exhaled and finally found his voice.

"I, uh-."

He pulled his head back up and looked into her eyes again. Shrugging, he nodded.

"Well like, yeah."

Rebecca exhaled smoothly as her smile morphed into a wide grin. Bringing a gentle touch to Kevin's shoulder, she gripped him reassuringly and shook her head.

"Kev, it's okay! You don't have to be all nervous or feel bad or anything."

She nodded and squeezed his shoulder more tightly.

"Seriously."

Kevin exhaled and smiled back as he felt some of the tension slip from his chest. Despite Rebecca's natural intensity, she had a genuine kindness about her that she seemed to be able to tap when needed. He hadn't expected her to laugh at him or make him feel stupid, obviously. But he also hadn't expected such tender warmth either. It felt safe.

Still, whether it was his primal male instinct or just a result of silly social pressures, he felt the reflexive need to defend himself and perhaps exaggerate his autonomy over his status.

"Well, look, I mean, it's not like I haven't had-. Like, there have been a few times when maybe I could've-."

Rebecca pursed her lips and smiled at him as she cut off his unnecessary posturing.

"Kevin, you don't have to explain yourself. I'm so definitely not judging you."

She paused and took a deep breath as she leaned back from him and chewed her lip thoughtfully.

"Look, there's no 'right' path here. Everyone's gonna feel different about this stuff and you don't have to justify or qualify your choices to me or anyone."

She smirked as she shook her head and continued.

"The first boy I had sex with, I probably shouldn't have. And not every choice I've made since has been the best in retrospect. But I don't have regrets about it and you shouldn't either."

Kevin swallowed as he took in Rebecca's advice and honesty. It was all certainly intense, but also strangely comforting.

"No, you're right. I wasn't trying to-."

He sighed and looked into her eyes as he decided to be honest as well.

"I didn't mean that like, I'd been turning it down left and right. Just that I-. I, uh, you know. I've definitely spent a lot of time being hung up on..."

He trailed off but communicated the obvious conclusion of his sentence with a smirk. Rebecca returned the expression and nodded as she finished it for him.

"Rachel."

Kevin shrugged and looked back at his knees. The suffocating awkwardness that had come earlier was long gone, but despite the conversation being pretty brief, he felt mentally drained. A lot had been communicated with just a few words and expressions.

Rebecca twisted her lips together as she looked at Kevin's posture and processed the meat of their exchange. She'd only been trying to help earlier by suggesting that he move on from his lingering feelings by getting a little casual ass. It's what she would do in his shoes. Hell, she'd done it before.

She hadn't been prepared for the playful conversation to go to such a heavy place. She realized she was still reflexively rubbing his shoulder and back and she tingled as she felt the expanse of his breaths. Poor boy. Still struggling to get out from under the weight of his own paralyzing introspection. Just as he had been that night at the beach.

The thought sent a sudden shiver through her fingertips and she brought her rubbing motion to a halt. She'd really saved him (and Rachel) that night. She still felt good about it. But not in a pitying, charitable way, like she'd volunteered at a soup kitchen. It hadn't been just a mechanical transaction. She'd enjoyed it, too. And a small, small part of her brain still lit up reflexively when she'd see him enter the room and the exciting images would flash-.

Rebecca inhaled a sharp, audible breath through her lips as a wildly dangerous idea washed over her. She didn't want to push Kevin into something he wasn't ready for (especially something as momentously meaningful as this), but she suddenly felt so right about it. It made too much sense. Just like she'd done for him at the beach, she could again give him the boost he needed to pass into the next chapter of his life with a clean slate.

"Kevin?"

She watched his head rise up quickly in response to the seriousness in her voice. Her tone was soft, but it was direct. Licking her lips, she brought her hand to his and continued.

"Listen, I'm going to ask you something and I need to be completely honest with me. Okay? I'm serious. Can you do that?"

Kevin's face tightened and he felt his stomach twist as the earlier intensity of their exchange began to return. Rebecca's eyes were swirling and she was beginning to scare him a little again. He swallowed and nodded.

"Yeah. Of course."

Rebecca smiled and nodded back as she sucked in a breath and studied his face. Forging on, she squeezed his hand in hers and continued.

"That night back at the beach. You know, when you and I-."

She paused and grinned as he got her meaning.

"Do you ever like, think about it still?"

Kevin's tightened stomach pulled into a full knot as he leaned back and raised his eyebrows at her unexpected question. Did he think about it still? He had to stifle a laugh. Was she serious? Fuck, he thought about it almost every day.

Obviously not wanting to reveal the full extent of the imprint she'd left on his psyche, he smiled and shrugged casually.

"Well, yeah. Of course I do. That was like the best night of my-."

He cut off quickly as he heard himself beginning to reveal entirely too much. Re-gathering his words with a touch of awkward haste, he finished his answer.

"Yeah, for sure. I mean, not like all the time or anything. You know."

Rebecca grinned and blushed mildly at his expected yet still effusive praise for the event. Swallowing smoothly, she nodded and spoke again, her tone friendly and warm.

"Yeah, I think about it, too."

She watched as Kevin's attempt at projecting nonchalance evaporated. She'd figured (correctly) that he'd never considered that she'd given him much thought sexually after that night. And while she was sure the amount of mental energy they'd respectively devoted to such a thing was shaded severely in one direction, it'd hadn't been as completely one-sided as he'd probably imagined.

Sure enough, the revelation that Rebecca had perhaps not simply treated their hookup the same as any other insignificant decision she'd made that day made Kevin's heart pound. He cocked his head at her and furrowed his brow in disbelief.

"Really?"

Rebecca grinned at his shocked tone and nodded her head reassuringly. She laughed gently as she spoke.

"Yes, really."

She broke eye contact briefly before exhaling and looking back up at this face again. Truthfully, she was playing up the timid, sweetness of her tone and demeanor a bit because she didn't want to intimidate him. But she was actually surprised at the level of genuine nervousness she was feeling. It was unexpected.

Steadying herself for her final step, she flipped her hair behind her shoulder and looked intensely into his eyes.

"So, have you wanted to do something like that again?"

She paused for a two-count in her head and then dropped the bomb.

"Or maybe something...more?"

The electrical surge through Kevin's circuits could almost be felt in the room as he absorbed the full gravity of Rebecca's words. He hadn't even been given a moment to process her first incredible statement before she'd obliterated its significance with her second. It was conceivable that such a revelation might have taken him a few seconds to fully decipher based on the pure unexpected insanity of its content. But Kevin's brain was sharply focused. He understood immediately. And he'd never been so simultaneously terrified and excited in his life.

" 'More'? You mean-?"

Rebecca grinned warmly at Kevin's wide-eyed expression as she processed the understanding in his face. She nodded gently.

"Mmm-hmm."

Kevin swallowed and leaned his head back as he fought to stay ahead of the swirling chaos overtaking his system. Rebecca had just clearly asked him if he wanted to have sex with her, and while his answer seemed instinctually obvious, he'd realized quickly that it was more complex than he would've anticipated. And that was actually due to her.

Rebecca's earlier words about how he shouldn't feel the need to justify himself had actually struck a deeper nerve than she'd probably realized. It was certainly true that his virgin status was more a product of opportunity than desire. If Rachel or any number of other girls had engaged him in the past as Rebecca had just done, his chastity would be long gone. But that also didn't mean that he felt the need to simply check the sex box just to get it done.

However, something about Rebecca not only felt safe, but it also felt right. It felt genuine. And, as his eyes moved slowly from the fierce beauty of her face and passed over each seductively alluring curve of her body, he was reminded fully of all the other ways it made him feel. Feelings that needed no flowery descriptions.

Kevin smiled momentarily before returning his expression to one of serious confidence. He had her answer. And it didn't contain any words.