All Comments on 'Ghosts: CATU Book 01 Ch. 12'

I hope that the other stories that you have listed will be just as good.

A good tale although the grammar and syntax made it hard to follow at times

I think this reads like a movie script. Furthermore it's like a rip-off: "Princess of Wands" meets the "Paladin of Shadows", both from John Ringo. Compared to one of the best present-day writers your story sucks vacuum, but it's nice already to be on the same planet with him.

Never heard of either movies nor the dude. I'll need to look them up to see what your talking about buy considering I have never run across the concept I created I figured it was pretty original. Anyhow, thanks for your opinion.

You certainly are a prolific writer, and you have abundant ideas for plots and characters, but Bowlerhat is right--- it's harder than it should be to read your stories because grammar and syntax need vastly to be improved. Is there a local community college where you can take a course or two to improve your skills? Do you have someone to serve as your editor, to catch some of the things that are slipping past you? I hope you will consider one or both of these suggestions, because I would very much like to see you succeed!

I have actually contacted several editors from this site and have gotten no responses at all. Other than that no I don''t have anyone to edit unless I pay for one. Otherwise I just continue to write and see improvement as I write.

ok finished the first book.

as the rest of the story went forward at a descent pace i felt this last chapter was a bit rushed? earlier in the story you took more time to delve into the feelings of persons. i missed that a bit near the end.

nonetheless i liked the outcome.

as for the grammar/syntax, i agree a little.

the bold starting words could work in a printed book, but when reading online, and in this case you loose part of your sentence structure because of it, it sometimes feels a bit off. it is something you could consider. keep the bold for your site/printed work, but remove it for Lit?

as for editorial advice. yeah there were a few slip ups, but we're all (i hope ;-) ) human, it's only normal something slips through. you could ask a friend or fellow writer to simply proofread, it can already work wonders just to have a second pair of eyes.

myself i have Jazcullen as proofreader (and she catches a lot!) and then Asylumseeker as final editor. I did find Asylum via the editor forum, i contacted him myself and he still had room. sometimes you do need a bit of luck in finding one.

with this wall of text over *wipes fore head* i do offer a second pair of eyes if ever needed (i have the time for it)

with this book read i now will try and focus on my own before i comeback to read the next on the list =)

I really enjoyed this story!

Would have given it all five stars if I’d had the opportunity. I’m not sure why I wasn’t given the option this time.

However...

I, personally, did not notice much wrong in the writing; but that’s likely because my own writing has terrible errors in it.

As for it seeming similar to other writers, I can not recall ever reading anything quite like this story; which may be surprising since I can easily read two or more 200+page books in one day and my favorite genre has always been sci fi and fantasy.