Goes Without Saying Pt. 01

Gwen reproached him, asking why he couldn't let go of his resentment at Celia's behaviour.

"I thought you'd made peace with her at our wedding," she said, "It demeans me that I'm not able to heal these antagonistic feelings you have for Celia. Isn't my love enough? She can't hurt you - hasn't hurt you since she left."

"It's not resentment, my love," David retorted, "It's simply that it brings up unhappy memories and I didn't want that for the rest of my life every time I call her by name."

The upshot was that Gwen, sadly, backed down and settled for Bethan Meredith Ann, her second name, and the two grandmothers' names. David saw what it cost her and loved her the more for it, but grimly she added a rider.

"I want Celia and Alex as Godparents when we Christen her. Surely you can cope with that?"

He shrugged and promptly forgot what she'd said.

-

David got the phone call at two in the afternoon on a lovely sunny day. It was the 17th April.

"It's started," Gwen told him, "I've phoned your mother and she's coming over. Lucy next door will look after Evan till she arrives. Can you come now?"

Of course he could. He arrived at the house fifteen minutes later, and they were on their way to the hospital. Gwen was timing the contractions and assured him it would be some time before Bethan arrived.

Gwen was duly signed in and shown to her delivery room. They chatted and David held her hand as the contractions got stronger. The midwife came and sent, taking soundings and finding how dilated Gwen was. Gwen was worried after her problems with labour with Evan, but smiled through it.

The labour seemed to progress better than before and two hours later, Bethan made her appearance. The midwife took her and cleaned her up, and then placed her on Gwen's stomach. Gwen smiled at her and then at David, with such love.

"She's so beautiful!" she said. Then she looked worried. "I feel funny," she said.

The midwife came over, took her pulse and pressed the emergency button. She picked Bethan up and gave her to David to hold. A team arrived and when he looked at Gwen, her eyes were closed.

There was a lot of conversation, none of which he understood. He cuddled his new daughter, who seemed blissfully asleep.

The activity round the bed increased.

"What's happening?" he asked in a panic.

"A little trouble with her breathing," said the nurse, interrupted by a sharp exclamation from the doctor.

"She's arresting!"

Immediately there was intense activity and the midwife hustled David out of the room into an adjoining one. She sat him down and sat with him.

"What's happening?" he begged her.

"She may have lost some blood. Don't worry, they're very good in there."

She held his hand stroking it gently, as he cuddled the little life on his arm.

It was half an hour later when the doctor came through the connecting door.

"I'm very sorry," he said. "We've lost her. She's gone."

David stared at him. "I don't follow," he said. "You don't mean she's..." He stopped, unable to say the word.

"I'm sorry," said the doctor, "but we couldn't save her. She suffered massive organ failure. Sister Flynn says she lost consciousness very early on. She didn't suffer at all."

"But... why?" David asked, of no one in particular.

The doctor thought he wanted to know the cause. "We don't know. The postmortem should show why it happened.

David wasn't really listening. He continued to hold his little daughter, and looked down at her.

A nurse put her head round the door and nodded to the two medics.

"Would you like to see her?" asked Sister Flynn.

David looked up. He was still trying to understand that his wife and lover had left him.

"Er, yes," he muttered, "Yes, that would be..."

"Come on," she said gently, "through here," and she led him back into the delivery room.

He halted just inside the door. The room was different. All the apparatus for saving a life had gone. The delivery couch was now a bed, and Gwen was lying there, her head on two pillows.

David looked at her. She seemed asleep, her face peaceful. The midwife was about to invite him forward, when he moved of his own accord, still cradling a sleeping Bethan in his arms.

"Here, Beth," he said gently, "Let's say goodbye to Mummy."

He laid the sleeping child holding her all the time, onto her mother's breast. Then stood erect.

"If you want to say goodbye yourself," Sister Flynn said, "I'll hold Beth."

He started, suddenly ware of the woman's presence next to him. He nodded absently and gently passed the child to her.

A nurse entered, and the sound seemed to wake him. He made a decision. He delved in his pocket and took out a camera.

"I want photos." He said. "I want one of Gwen. One of Beth and me with Gwen."

The two women looked at one another, and Sister Flynn nodded.

David gave the camera to the nurse.

"Can you take some of Gwen? Different angles?"

She nodded and as he took Beth from Sister Flynn, she snapped away. Then he sat by Gwen's bed The nurse took one of him there.

He gave the baby back and bent over Gwen's lifeless form. She was so peaceful and seemed content. He bent and kissed her cold lips.

"Don't worry my darling, I'll look after our little ones. Good night, and God bless," he said, brushing a wisp of hair from her face. He kissed her once again and brushed her cheek with his hand.

to be continued