Help I've Turned into a Woman

"Yes Elena is straight and so is Pamela.

Pamela had two kids but she wasn't happily married.

Her husband was always off playing football, golf or some other sport. He's one of those blokes that likes to be the last man standing.

Pamela loved her kids but would have liked him around more to help with them.

Don't be surprised when we have a girly evening, the talk can become a bit explicit and we like to bitch about the men in our lives."

During our conversation she had been filing my nails to start giving them a more feminine profile, she also painted them, including my toe nails, a pale pearlescent pink.

"I'll sort you some clothes out in the morning, do you know your shoe size?"

I'd only brought my trainers, as they were acceptable as either male or female.

"Well I was an 8 or a 7 depending on the make, but since my body change I think they are smaller."

"How about you try on a pair of my size 5."

I tried them on, they were too tight, I wouldn't be able to wear them for the day and it would be unfair to stretch them.

"Right" said Chris "you can't wear a skirt with trainers, it'll have to be jeans and a top."

That was good for me as, although I knew I'd need skirts, I wasn't keen on the idea just yet.

"Your hair is too masculine, at the moment, it'll have to grow out a bit first, I have a hairpiece that closely matches your colour, we'll sort that out in the morning too." Chris said.

By this time, it was only 10pm, but I was feeling exhausted. So much had happened, I think it had taken it's toll, I asked Chris if she minded if I went to bed.

"Of course not. Sleep well and I'll see you in the morning."

I brushed my teeth, went to the toilet and I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I slept like a log, till about seven, when I heard movement downstairs, so I got up had a morning wee and went downstairs. Chris was eating cornflakes at the breakfast counter, I said good morning and asked if I could make her a drink. After making coffee for both of us, I also had some cornflakes. After we'd cleared away and washed up, Chris told me to use the bathroom, she would use her en suite, and when I was ready, go to her bedroom where she would sort out some clothes, do my hair and makeup.

Off I went, used the toilet again, washed my pertinent parts. I would never have thought about that as a man, especially as I hadn't had a sexual partner since my wife. I now felt the need to be clean and fresh down there regardless of sexual partners.

I didn't have room for an en suit but, I was definitely getting a bidet when I got back to my house. Cleaned my teeth washed hands and face, went back to my room put on bra and panties. Thought about putting the dressing gown back on, but then thought sod it, we're all girls together. I trotted off along the landing to her bedroom and knocked on the door, a voice said come in. Entering I saw Chris sat at the dressing table doing her makeup, she was also in bra and panties.

"Just let me finish my makeup. I've put some clothes on the bed for you to try, have a look. Then I'll do your makeup."

I saw a pair of skinny blue jeans, a white blouse, and a pale lilac t shirt top amongst other items. I just had to try on the jeans, they fitted me like a second skin. The lilac top was lovely, but I thought would have looked better with the black jeans, plus if I was to be trying on clothes, I didn't want to be pulling it on and off and messing up my hair and makeup. So it would be the white blouse with the buttons down the front, which also had the advantage of not being figure hugging, I wasn't yet ready for everybody to stare at my breasts.

Chris approved of my choice, before I put the blouse on Chris did my hair and makeup. We then both finished dressing.

I looked at the finished me, in her mirror, and thought that if I was a man, I would fancy the woman I saw. I thought I looked quite presentable, the look would be spoilt by the trainers. Chris gave me a small handbag, because as she said I needed somewhere to put my keys, phone, purse plus she said in the side pocket she'd put a couple of tampax and a couple of panty liners. I asked why I needed them, she said it would be normal for a woman of my age to carry such items in her handbag in case of need and as we didn't yet know when or if my period would start, it was better to be safe than sorry. I didn't question that any further at this point, but there was more I wanted to ask her later, when we were alone. It was now ten o'clock, so we left for Brent Cross.

6. New Clothes, New Woman

We arrived at the shopping centre by ten thirty. As we walked through, I was aware of men looking at me, and it felt uncomfortable, did they think I was a man in drag, or was this how men behaved towards women. Either way I didn't like it. Chris seemed to understand what I was going through as she squeezed my hand and gave me an encouraging smile.

She asked if I minded if she picked my makeup out for me this first time as she had an idea of what would suit me, I didn't, as I wouldn't know where to start. First we went to Boots and she picked out moisturiser, foundation, mascara, eyeshadow, lipstick, makeup cleanser, nail polish and remover, that would be OK to get me started.

Then she made me buy more panty liners, a box of sixteen medium tampax and a pack of medium sanitary pads, so I was now prepared should anything start and I had a choice in case I didn't get on with the tampons.

Next it was M&S for tights, shoe liners and a couple of pairs of ladies pyjamas. According to Chris the clothes were too frumpy and the place was beginning to feel like BHS.

Then John Lewis for two packs of Sloggi knickers.

Chris asked one of the assistants if anyone was available to do a bra fitting for me. The assistant said she was available and would madam like to follow her. She led us to the back of the lingerie department to a private area, Chris sat on one of the seats and the assistant took me into a cubicle and pulled the curtain across. She asked me what size I was wearing, I told her 32D.

"Was the bra for a special occasion?"

I said no just for work every day so I didn't need anything fancy and I would prefer something the same colour as the Sloggis.

She asked me to remove my blouse so she could measure me. She looked at me, there was a slight frown, walked round the back and put a couple of fingers under the band and came back in front of me.

"You are wearing the wrong size cup I think you should be a 32DD, but I'll just measure you to make sure."

She passed the tape measure round me and under my bust, then over my bust at the fullest point.

"Yes as I suspected you should be 32DD, if you care to wait I'll go and get one for you to try." Chris popped her head round the curtain and asked how I was getting on. I was actually OK, I hadn't been made to feel odd but made to feel at ease. The assistant came back with a Victoria's Secret bra and said

"I'll leave madam to try it on and I'll check it when you are ready."

I looked at the packaging which said it was a Perfect Coverage Bra, it was underwired and padded, colour was Almost Nude. I slipped off the one I was wearing and put this one on. I called the assistant she gave me a check over and pronounced it to be a perfect fit. She left me to get dressed again, but before I did I asked Chris her opinion. She popped her head round the curtain again, looked me over, told me to turn round, she said it looked good. I put the 32D back on and the blouse.

I would in time learn there was no exact science for measuring breast size, depending on manufacturer, some were cut more generously than others. The time of the month also affected my breast size. The only sure way to get a correct fit was to try on.

We went to the assistant, thanked her and I said I would take two bras and the Sloggis, but I still had some shopping to do, so she got me a basket and put all the items in.

The bras were £40 each and the knickers were almost £20 for a pack of 3, this, along with what I had bought so far, was going to be an expensive day. Good job I had some savings I could use.

Time was moving on, we next hit the shoe department. I tried on several shoes and styles, I didn't want anything with high heels. By trial and error we found I was a size 6. I settled for a pair of navy Gabor wedge heel ballet pumps for more formal wear, and some John Lewis wedge heeled espadrilles in a cream colour.

Out came the debit card and I queued to pay. I'd kept the espadrilles on and asked the assistant to pack my trainers. I would dispose of them later. I looked so much better with the change of shoes.

It was now time to go and meet Yvonne and Pamela at the sushi bar, on the way there I dumped the trainers in a waste bin. They were already there when we arrived, I was introduced. I had to pretend I didn't know Pamela, as she certainly didn't know me. We enjoyed our sushi, the talk was easy and intimate in a way I'd never experienced. When we finished we all needed the toilet so we went upstairs to the ladies, Chris and Yvonne would look after the shopping while Pamela and I went first, then we would swap.

My wife had often complained about the queues, but I was still surprised at how busy it was in there. A cubicle became available, and a couple of friends shared it. Another came free and as Pamela made for that one dragging me with her, the one next to it became free, to my relief.

As I closed the door I noticed there was no toilet paper, but I needed to go. Yuck, this was not what I expected, the toilet seat had been dribbled on. I gingerly lifted the seat, I was going to have to hover over the toilet and perhaps I could shake myself dry. As I hovered I realised just what a workout it was giving my thighs. Even though I had little experience as a woman, I was beginning to think men didn't know the half of it. After all 'pointing Percy at the porcelain' was easier than 'lowering Lilly over the loo'.

What was I thinking, after less than 48 hours, I knew diddly squat about being a woman. I had a lot to learn yet. Being a woman was more complicated than I thought.

I was startled when Pamela tapped on the partition and said

"Rhona I've just come on and I've run out, have you got one I can borrow?"

What was she talking about. Come on, run out, borrow. Then it dawned on me.

"Just a moment" I said as I rummaged in my handbag. I passed her a tampon under the partition, and asked her if she had any toilet paper in her cubicle.

I heard her pulling on the toilet roll on her side and a big handful appeared under the partition. We'd been able to help each other, was that why women went together?

As I left the cubicle I warned the woman going in that there was no paper. As I waited for Pamela, I washed my hands, checked my makeup and hair. When Pamela was done and she'd washed her hands, checked herself in the mirror, we left and swapped with Chris and Yvonne.

When we were all done, we headed back to John Lewis, where the girls helped me pick a couple of business like skirts, blouses and jackets. Then we visited one of the in-store concessions, where I picked a less formal summary striped jersey dress, the cut was generous, so I tried a size 10, I added a fine chain belt that I could fasten round my waist. It looked perfect. After all the dressing and undressing trying clothes on, it was time for a coffee, first I paid for all my purchases with my debit card. Fortunately my debit card showed only my first initial and last name, so there were no embarrassing explanations to give. There was now a big hole in my account, but as I said I had some savings which I could use.

After coffee, Pamela went home, Chris and I got in her car and Yvonne followed in hers back to Chris'.

I really wished Yvonne wasn't staying that night as I needed to talk to Chris, I needed to know more about periods, how would I know when I was due, etc. To my shame I hadn't taken much notice of my wife's periods, it was a woman's thing which, like all women, she just got on with. I was even uncomfortable with the ads for 'women's things' on TV, the place for that was in the women's magazines. I didn't want to know. I had to agree with Roger on that one, women should retain an air of mystery and not have all their bodily functions paraded so publicly.

But now, well according to the ads, if I wore a certain product I could go skydiving or rock climbing. I wasn't going to be doing any of that, but I did like swimming. Was that possible. Also could I wear a tampon, because I assumed, I was a virgin.

All these questions would have to wait for another time. We got to Chris', I unpacked and hung up my new clothes, sorted out my makeup and other supplies into the dressing table in the guest room. Checked my email, opened my google spreadsheet and checked off what I'd bought, saw that Elena had updated the sheet with the fact that she had spoken with her brother and he had agreed to help.

I went back downstairs and between us we made something to eat and set the table. Once we finished and washed up we sat in front of the TV and talked, but I soon excused myself saying I wanted a bath. I did, but I also wanted to let Chris and Yvonne have time alone together and I was feeling a bit of a gooseberry.

After my bath I put my boy pyjamas on, I loved the shorts but maybe I would change the top for something a bit looser.

I went back to my room and started leafing through some women's magazines I'd borrowed. I'd flicked through women's magazines before out of curiosity, but now I found them interesting. I read through some stories and articles, then I turned out my light to go to sleep, I hadn't heard Chris or Yvonne come upstairs yet.

7. Masturbation and Confusion

Something woke me during the night.

I could hear a rhythmic movement, whispering and soft little moaning sounds coming from Chris' room.

Oh god they were making love, I put my head under the pillow to try and block it out. Of course once I'd heard them I couldn't stop my imagination and found myself fondling my breasts both hands pushing up the pyjama top, caressing my breasts, feeling my nipples getting hard. I never realised just how sensitive nipples were. I pulled them, twisted them, tried to suck them but couldn't quite get them in my mouth. I began to get a strange feeling between my legs. If I was male I would have had a raging hard on, this was altogether different my hand went between my legs inside my shorts. My lips felt warm, soft, puffy and damp. As I ran my hand in my pubic hair and between my thighs I felt myself opening up and becoming wetter. I gently parted my lips with my index and middle finger.

I hadn't so far done a detailed exploration of my new self, the sensation of touching myself was pleasant, very pleasant, and I was getting very wet. I ran my fingers up and down my slit and found my clit.

Oooh damn that was good. My clit was larger than my wife's had been, she just had a little nub that she liked me to play with and lick. Just the thought of somebody doing that to me, made me so excited I nearly came there and then. Mine, I could just hold the tip between thumb and forefinger and wank it like a little penis.

At some point I lost the shorts and top, I put the pillows between my legs and imagined I had mounted a man and was riding his cock, while my finger was working in and out of me. The feelings building inside of me were like nothing I'd ever experienced, my orgasm when it hit me was so intense. It felt like a series of electric shocks running through my body.

Pleasuring myself as a woman was so much better than wanking as a man. I fell off my mount, the pillows, but I wasn't done yet.

I could still hear Chris and Yvonne, it seemed as if their love making had become more intense and louder. That set me off again, this time I was on my hands and knees, furiously fingering my vagina and rubbing my clit. I was so wet I could hear a squishy sound as I pumped my finger in and out. I imagined it was a man holding my hips and slamming into me. Oh how I wished it was, I wanted to feel him in me, fill me up, instead it was empty air and my finger. As I came again, I stuffed my hand in my mouth to stop myself from screaming. Stars were bursting behind my eyes and in my head.

I collapsed on the bed, instead of feeling relief I had a headache. I was confused and I started to cry. I'd never thought about sex with another man before, why now! Wait I was a woman now, but I had been a man. What did that make me. Lesbian for being turned on by two women having sex. Homosexual for wanting sex with a man.

I hadn't liked it today when I thought men were staring at me, but the women, when I was trying on clothes in the store or when I used the public toilets didn't treat me any differently than any other woman. What was I, some sort of monster, where did I fit in.

I fell asleep curled up and crying with this all spinning round my head.

When I got up in the morning I looked and felt rough, I would need a wash as I was a bit sticky and smelly, but I needed coffee first. I found my pyjama top on the floor near the bed and the bottoms under the duvet at the bottom of the bed, I just put them back on and went downstairs.

As I was making a coffee, I heard Chris and Yvonne getting up, so I started to get things out for breakfast.

When they came down, I'm sure we all knew what had transpired in the respective bedrooms, but nobody said anything.

Chris, when we were alone again, would admit that they had heard me and couldn't help being even more turned on at the noise I was making. The idea of them turning me on, me turning them on more and back and forth in an endless cycle of being turned on nearly fried my brain.

Anyway once breakfast was finished and everything tidied away, I told them I was going to Watford, I nearly said the Harlequin Centre, but remembered that Yvonne thought I'd just come from Manchester, so would have been surprised that I knew the shopping centres' old name. It was now called 'Intu Watford'. I much preferred the old name, so I acted as if I didn't know about the shopping centre.

It was partly an excuse to let them be alone together, and partly to clear my head. I went to have another bath, I needed it after last night. I put on my new panties and bra, mmh, they would do for work. Maybe while I was in Watford I could find something prettier, I also wanted a swimming costume.

It promised to be a warm day so, on went my new striped jersey dress and espadrilles. While I was dressing Chris came up and said Yvonne would be gone by two and she would then teach me how to use and put on makeup and if there was anything I wanted to ask she would do her best to answer.

Great I thought there was so much I wanted to tell her about my experiences yesterday, and I wanted more information about periods like when would I know if one was due, symptoms, etc.

Chris did my hair and makeup before I left.

8. Toilet Etiquette and Periods

On the walk to Watford, I stopped in a quiet spot in a park so I could phone HR, I explained that I needed to discuss personal issues and managed to get an appointment with the head of HR for two the following day.

Arriving at the shopping centre I needed a wee, but my mind was on other things and I walked into the Gents and headed towards a urinal. It was only when one of the guys turned round and was doing himself up that I realised, by the surprise on his face, I was in the wrong toilet. At that I ran out, quickly heading to the Ladies. I didn't even notice if there was a queue, I just dived into the first free cubicle and leant against the door, my heart pounding. What if they had called security? I listened out for the hue and cry, but all seemed calm.