Help I've Turned into a Woman

I looked at the toilet seat, no dribbles it looked clean but I wiped it with some toilet tissue anyway. There was no way I was going to hover, I needed that wee but I also needed to sit down, calm down and compose myself. When I'd calmed down sufficiently I opened the door, looked round, there was no security waiting outside. I quickly washed my hands, checked myself in the mirror, and headed for a little coffee shop just outside the shopping centre.

As I sat drinking my cappuccino, I wondered if I could buy little packets of toilet tissue and loo wipes that I could keep in my handbag. After my coffee and feeling better, I went to Boots and bought a packet of tissues and a packet of wet ones, for emergencies. That reminded me that, when I got home, I should replace that tampon Pamela had borrowed yesterday. I vowed to 'Be Prepared.'

Then I visited Fat Face to browse the clothes. There was an assistant, she was Spanish, who reminded me of Ramona from the TV show Cold Feet. She helped me choose a pair of jeggings, paired with two different stripy t-shirt tops and some giraffe print baggy trousers with a black strappy top. Added to the list was a summer casual dress, a cardigan, a tankini and some pretty panties with matching bras.

Was I now beginning to think like a woman. I was enjoying clothes shopping, whereas I used to put up with shopping, unless it was to do with my bike or new personal technology.

By now it was time for lunch and I went back to the little coffee shop, it was my favourite one in Watford.

After lunch I walked back to Chris', perhaps I should have taken the bus with all this shopping to carry. I got back just after two, and was glad to put my feet up.

Yvonne had gone, I would now have time to talk to Chris about my experiences so far, and my concerns. First we went to my room and I tried on my new clothes to show Chris. I wanted to try on my new tankini, but was too shy to strip off in front of her, being in bra and panties was ok, but that was as much flesh as I was prepared to expose for the moment. In the shop I'd had my knickers on under the bikini briefs, I wanted to see what it looked like without them. So I turned my back to Chris and slipped my knickers off from under my dress and put on the bikini briefs, then slipped off the dress and bra before putting on the tankini top then turning round for Chris to see.

I asked her if she would go swimming with me one day soon, as I could do with her moral support for my first time at the pool as a woman. She agreed and promised we would make a day of it, but said no more. I would try the new panties and bras later in privacy. Chris left and I got dressed again, before joining her in the kitchen, it was becoming our favourite place to talk.

This is when she told me they heard me last night, I admitted that it was hearing them that started me off. She told me that when she had sex with Paul, she would usually stay over at Paul's. So if ever I needed the privacy to bring somebody home, I was welcome to do so. I didn't think that was going to happen because, a) I didn't have a partner, and b) I wasn't comfortable with the idea of using her house in such a way. If I was to bring somebody home it would be on my terms and on my territory i.e. my house.

We then discussed my toilet experiences over the last couple of days, and while she had a giggle at today's mishap, for yesterday's she said "Welcome to the sisterhood." She agreed that women could be sloppy when hovering, as they didn't want to sit in somebody else's dribbles, but hovering was compounding the problem. It would be so simple to lift the seat, perhaps the old sign 'Gentlemen lift the seat' had become ingrained in the national conscience.

Sharing toilet paper and sanitary products was what women did without question, you never knew if you would need the favour returned.

She did remind me that when using public toilets I should remember I was a woman now so I should face the door, after closing it, and pull my pants down. If anyone caught a glimpse of my feet pointing towards the toilet as I pulled my pants down, they might think I was a man and that could be embarrassing.

Next we talked about periods, hymens, virginity and losing it. Yes I could go swimming when I had a period. Yes a virgin could use tampons, your hymen did not cover the entrance to the vagina, but was perforated, else how could you have a period. Considering where my fingers had been last night, that made sense. No you wouldn't necessarily bleed when you lost your virginity, too much fuss and old fashioned ideas were attached to that. Your hymen could be stretched by, masturbation, using sex toys or in my case cycling. Nobody would be able to tell if I was a virgin or not. Technically until I had sex with a man I was a virgin.

Why was it OK for men to have one or more sexual partners before marriage and a woman expected to be a virgin. Where were all these virgins if men were having as much sex as they claimed. I had to agree, even when I was a man I thought it strange. A woman was in charge of her own body not men.

I learned about symptoms, cycles, flows, frequency and that no two women were the same. She didn't believe in women's periods syncing when they lived together, yes mothers and daughters in the same household often synced. Women living together or sharing digs at college may only sync once or twice a year.

During all this Chris showed me how to apply makeup and do my hair. She asked what I would wear for my appointment with HR, then advised on the makeup.

Chris said she she was putting on a wash when she got up in the morning, if there was anything I wanted doing, leave it in the machine and she would sort it out. I told her I'd do the ironing and buy the groceries, next week, while she was on nights. I would pay my way, I couldn't keep relying on her charity.

I knew Chris would stay up till the early hours, then sleep late the next day, she always did before the start of a night shift. I went for my bath, while there and thinking of our conversation, I squatted over a mirror and really examined myself. I examined my slit, inner and outer lips, my clit (hidden away now) my orifices, closely inspecting my vagina, I couldn't tell if I was a 'virgin', I stuck my finger in, not the nicest feeling, as I was dry.

Maybe if I ever had intercourse I would check again to see if I looked any different.

Going back to my bedroom I replenished the supply of tampons in my handbag. I found instructions in the box of how to use them, so I read through, tried the positions they suggested till I found a position that just felt right. We would see, if and when I came on.

9. Putting Plans into Action, #@&% MEN!!!

Next day I was dressed smartly and took the train to Euston, then the underground to Victoria where the offices were. I didn't like the underground, crowded and dirty. In the carriage I'm sure the man behind me deliberately rubbed his erection against my bum. I looked at the man behind me. He was smartly dressed and in his sixties, he had that blank look on his face that all underground passengers seemed to have. I could have been mistaken, maybe it was an accident, but I moved away.

I met with the head of HR, an understanding lady. I told her that I was transitioning and had got to a stage where I wanted to present as a woman. I didn't want my shift to know but asked if I could go back to my old shift as a new recruit. I told her that I was going to call my shift manager and say I'd been called back to Manchester.

She told me not to worry, she would sort all that out and I could start back next week on the day shift.

Fortunately I had a very common surname, losing Robert Nnnnn but gaining Rhona Nnnnn wouldn't be suspicious. She was also helpful in supplying me with contact details of support groups, I would still do some googling for contacts. She also asked if I had a date for surgery yet. I replied in the negative. She said when it came up to let her know and she would arrange for me to have as much time as I needed.

I left feeling positive about the meeting, but I would have to do some research into gender change surgery and how long it took. It wouldn't do to get caught out now.

I made my way home. This time on the underground, somebody WAS feeling my bum, I just saw red, turned and kneed him in the groin, unfortunately due to the tight skirt, I couldn't get a lot of force behind it. It was enough, I hadn't hurt him as much as I would have liked, but I don't think he'd be touching women up anytime soon. Several men were embarrassed at his behaviour and some women clapped and cheered. I was given plenty of space for the rest of the journey.

Once home I ticked off what I'd done on my spreadsheet and in my shared folder I created a 'Diary/Journal of my Experiences'. The girls would leave, notes, comments and advice in the folder.

While Chris and Elena were on nights I occupied myself, googling and contacting gender change support groups. I needed to find out how to officially get my gender changed on my documents.

I started to look at redoing my bathroom, I realised there wasn't enough floor space for a separate bidet, but on the web I had seen a bidet/toilet which looked interesting.

I just needed to find a local supplier and installer. I wanted to see it first, I hoped to find a demo model plumbed in as I didn't want anything that wasn't up to the job.

When the girls had rested after nights had finished, the three of us went swimming. The ladies changing room was just a mirror image of the mens. I was nervous at first, there were women who I had been on nodding terms with when I was a male. That was weird.

As you would expect there were people in various states of undress and nobody paid any mind. Probably because it was my first time I noted that we came in all shapes and sizes and some women were shaved down there.

Apart from the shaved bit I could have been in the mens changing room for all the notice anyone took.

I was a bit self conscious, poolside as I thought the men were eyeing me up from crotch to breasts and back again, so I quickly got in the water. I swam for a solid hour and did 1,500 meters, which was only a couple of hundred meters less than usual. Not much slower than my last swim as a man. I never claimed I was any good.The girls were much more relaxed swimming, they weren't trying to prove anything.

We then went back upstairs to use the sauna, steam room and spa pool, spending another hour in there.

Then we had lunch in the cafe, before they dragged me to Yoga followed by Pilates and lastly T'ai Chi. All things I'd never done before. There seemed to be a token man in yoga and one in T'ai Chi. Where were all the men?

Chris' period started when she was on nights, my first one started a couple of weeks later. I woke one morning, my breasts feeling heavy and sore plus I had an ache in my lower abdomen and was feeling out of sorts. Chris advised this was the time to use panty liners and to keep an eye out for any discharge, be aware that my flow would probably start within the next couple of days. When it did start Chris wasn't around, so Elena stood outside the toilet, in case I had any problems with my first tampon. I didn't.

I would find the whole period thing horrible, painful and wanting to curl up an die, some months were worse than others. Like all women I carried on, society expected it of us. If men made flippant, insensitive comments about women and their periods, I felt like stabbing them low down in the stomach and twisting the knife. Why didn't men understand what we were going through. OK, as a man I hadn't understood how it felt. Was I now being unreasonable in my expectations.

Elena's brother had put a sold sign on my house, people had been wanting to view it even though he hadn't advertised it, they even tried offering above the 'asking price'.

I also started looking for another car, I couldn't keep the Audi, so I ordered a Mini Cooper automatic.

This change of gender was costly, but I was growing in confidence.

Three months on, my house was being redone with new bathroom, new bedroom furniture and would then be redecorated.

My new Mini arrived.

My hair was now all my own, I no longer needed the hair piece.

My spreadsheet had lots ticked off.

My diary come journal was filling with information.

I was back cycling with the group.

I remembered a story from one of my friends when I was in my teens. He worked for a telecom company and one day he was out working up a telegraph pole, his partner had taken the van down the road to another pole.

He told me a car drew up, a smartly dressed woman got out looked up and down the road then squatted behind a hedge for a wee, he didn't know whether to shout a warning or not, he opted to keep very quiet and still.

So I vowed that if I ever had to wee in the wild, I would look in ALL directions, including ABOVE.

I also noted that I was irritated by men who talked to my breasts, I would think, H-e-l-l-o, I'm up h-e-r-e, talk to M-E!

The girls admitted it happened to them and they also found it annoying.

I did confront one of those men one day, asking if my company was boring him and were my tits better at conversation?

Despite this I wanted to try dating and downloaded a dating app.

When the girls found out they gave me a lecture on how stupid that was, didn't I realise that the men who answered these were only after one thing, I was putting myself in danger, etc. etc.

I wasn't going to be put off, I could handle myself I said and I hadn't left any contact details on the app, apart from a disposable email address. They made me promise to go on the pill, before even going on a 'date'.

I wasn't sure if they thought I was going to have one night stands, or it was protection from unintended consequences, should a 'date' become too forceful.

I had about eight 'dates' before giving it up as a bad idea. There was no pretence at romance, I didn't like having my breasts groped and mauled, A man even tried to get his hand up my skirt before we had finished the first drink. He got the rest of my wine in his face and the rest of his pint in his lap.

Another kept going on about anal sex, no way buddy, apart from feeling embarrassed at the idea that his finger or other appendage would come out with a bit of poo on it, there was no way I was using that orifice in such a manner.

All went in the dairy.

I resolved that the next girly evening we had, I would ask if any of them had tried anal and what did they think about it.

10. Surprising Revelations

About a dozen or so of us would attend these girly evenings and if it was held at Chris', Yvonne would stay the night. The next girly evening happened to be at Chris'. As the evening wore on the conversation came round to relationships and sex, as it often did.

I asked if anyone had tried anal, three or four said yes they'd tried but weren't bothered to repeat it.

Lucy said she let her husband do it. It kept him happy, but she wouldn't let his fingers or dick anywhere else once he'd been in there, not unless he washed himself. While he was doing it, she liked to use a vibrator on herself, after all if he was having fun why shouldn't she. When she got bored of him pumping away in her bum, she would insert the vibrator in her vagina. He would feel the vibrations through the adjoining tissue and would come in seconds.

But quiet unassuming Kelly shocked us all, I assumed it was the drink that loosened her tongue. She liked to do anal on her husband. He liked to wear her underwear, bra, panties, suspenders and stockings, he even had his own high heel shoes. She had a strap on specially reserved for him and she used him like a whore.

She wasn't finished, more jaw dropping details were yet to come.

They went to swinger parties, he liked to sit in the corner and wank, while watching her being fucked by another man.

She like to watch other men fuck him.

They would often get on the bed together side by side, while one man fucked her and another fucked her husband, before swapping partners.

She had even taken him to a party dressed as a whore and fucked him in front of everybody. She laid him on his back on the edge of the bed, with his legs up in the air while she had someone fuck her from behind at the same time.

Judging by the shuffling and surreptitious 'adjustment' of clothing this was having the same effect on the other girls as it it was having on me.

I imagined them going home, masturbating or having sex with their partners, husbands, boyfriends and girlfriends.

That was certainly true by the sounds coming from Chris' bedroom, that night.

I didn't care as I was giving myself some extra special loving with my new vibrator. I ran it over my body, over my breasts, in my mouth, over my nipples, stomach, down to my mound, up my thighs, between my legs parting my lips and running it up and down and between my lips. I screamed as I touched my clit, I had to turn the vibrations down a couple of notches, as the vibrations were too strong. I felt as if a volcano was about to erupt, when I came it was like hot embers shooting round my body.

11. My Girlfriend and the Joy of Sex

Over the next few weeks life settled down to work, shopping, going out with the girls, checking work was progressing on my 'new' house and meeting my 'new' neighbours.

Finally the house was ready, I packed all the clothes and other stuff I had amassed.

Chris, Paul, Elena and her husband, helped me to move in.

We had a girly house warming party later that week, during which I seemed to click with a woman called Saskia who'd been to our other girly evenings. From first meeting her I had liked her bubbly personality, her happy smile, her Mediterranean looks and olive skin. How could people not be enchanted with her. I felt like a pale skinned northern plain Jane next to her and I was secretly in love with her.

Towards the end of the evening I was starting to clear away some dishes and glasses. With butterflies in my stomach, I asked if she would help. We took the dishes into the kitchen, which was when with a light touch, she turned me to face her and kissed me on the lips. I was startled and froze momentarily.

"Oh I'm sorry Rhona, I didn't mean to offe..."

"Shhh" I said as, I pulled her into me and returned her kiss.

Which was when Elena walked in.

When Saskia and I returned to the lounge the girls, with a little encouragement from Elena, were preparing to leave. We all said our goodbyes, once they had left, we looked at each other, I held her hand and took her upstairs.

We lay down on the bed kissing, caressing each newly exposed area of flesh as we slowly undressed each other.

Eventually we were naked. I loved the feel of our naked bodies pressed together. The feel of my hard nipples caressing and dancing over her hard nipples. I loved it when she took my nipples in her mouth, licked them and blew on them. Her hand caressing between my thighs had me panting with desire, my head wanting her to touch me, to spread my lips and caress my clit. These feelings were new to me. I was now beginning to understand why, when I'd done certain things to my wife, she had enjoyed them. I was finding new erogenous zones and revelling in every minute of it.

Saskia was shaved, she looked so divine I had to taste her. I went down and admired her crease, admired how her lips opened up like a flower. I ran my tongue over every crease, crevice and nibble on her clit. The taste of her was like nectar from the Gods.

She grabbed my head pushing me into her as she came. We lay there gently holding each other, after a little while she returned the favour by licking me, trying to stick her tongue into my vagina and nibbling my clit, my thighs gripped her head, my hands greedily pulled her head into me and tried to push away at the same time. I came to a shuddering climax. I was left with such a feeling of love and contentment as to be almost unbearable. Kissing her, I tasted my own nectar for the first time.