by tinytot24
I agree, where did Darren come from? the author mentioned it I wondered about the authors statement in chapter 3 about Darren and was going to eliminate him and then suddenly appears in bed with Matt and Sarah in the beginning of chapter 4, so what is he to Sarah, former lover boyfriend?, he isn't in the story till the beginning of chapter 4. The story is great except for that small detail. If Tinyto24 had an editor he or she would have picked that small detail up.. oh well it is a good read and gets my 5 star vote.
I went back and re-read chapter 3 in case I missed something. Who the hell is Darren and where did he come from? Chapter 4 starts off with three of them in bed
"Matt! Darren! Wake up! It's ten thirty in the morning Dad and Peggy will be here any minute." Sarah cried frantically shaking them both"
Well, you had to screwed the story up taking it ANAL. What a fuck up. The story wasn't incest either. The weren't brother and sister. You screwed the pooch with this one.
The old guy
Who is Darren? Seems like this chapter needs a rewrite as well to match the previous one.
You just have to keep this going!! I like your characters and although I have no problems with incest STORIES, this isn't even that. It LOVE and the passionate result. Good job. Once again, keep it up!
Please continue!!! its such a wonderful love story between these two. I hope I get to read about their happy ending.
Please continue!! Its such a qonderful love story between hese two. I jope I get to read about thei happy ending.
I hope you give us more, like how do their parents react? Like the dynamics in their relationship. Plus the hot sex!
Yes, please please continue your story.
I say, unless you have other projects you want to do, by all means continue.