House Cat

"I wasn't worried, okay? It's just—"

"Stupid?"

He punched me in the arm, grinning.

*****

I sat in my dorm, my cell phone just sitting on my bed, mocking me. My brain was doing everything it could to psyche itself out. Thousands of horrible outcomes presented itself in my mind.

People are afraid to come out to people because they don't know what they'll do when they learn the truth, Bryan had said, and that's something that only gets worse over time.

He was right. I got more terrified with each passing second. Still, I was able to finally reach for the phone.

I heard ringing, and it took a fair amount of willpower to not hang up. Finally, I heard a voice.

"Hey, Jack." The familiar sound of my mother's voice was enough to relax me slightly.

"Hey, Mom."

"How are things? School going well?"

"Midterms aren't a walk in the park, but I'm getting by."

"That's good to hear."

I licked my lips nervously.

"Is Dad nearby?"

"Yeah. Do you want to talk to him?"

"No, I wanted to tell you both something." Well, shit. Kind of hard to turn back now.

A few seconds later I also heard my father's voice greeting me.

"Hi, champ!"

"Hi, Dad."

"What did you want to tell us, sweetie?" Mom asked.

I could feel my face get red in embarrassment. Was I really about to do this? I thought about how understanding my friends had been. Still, coming out to parents is a different beast entirely. I could deal with some friends not wanting anything to do with me, but I didn't know if I could handle my parents cutting me out of their lives.

Get a grip! That's not gonna happen.

Logically, I knew that was probably true. My upbringing wasn't religious. My dad was an Unorthodox Jew and my mom didn't really have a religion. They hadn't expressed any ill will towards gays and bisexuals in the past. I shouldn't have been worrying as much as I was.

Still...I didn't know for sure, and that terrified me. They'd both been so supportive of me becoming a football player. They were proud of me, but what if having a boyfriend made me less of a man in their eyes? What if this meant they'd never have grandchildren? What if—

"Son, you still there?" Dad's voice was enough to pull me away from my mind trying to think itself into a corner.

"Yeah, Dad."

"Is something wrong?"

"No," I lied.

"What is it you wanted to tell us, Jack?" My mom asked again.

Do it. Say it! DO IT!!

"I wanted to tell you that I...I'm bisexual. I've had a boyfriend for almost the entire semester."

With those words finally spoken, I felt a weight off my shoulders. Even if they freaked out, I could take solace in the fact that I wasn't hiding anymore.

The silence on the other end was deafening.

"You're gay?" Dad asked.

"No, I still like girls." That was true, too. I wasn't suddenly repulsed by the idea of vaginas. I still looked back on past girlfriends with fondness. "It's just that I like boys, too."

"How long has it been like this?" Mom asked.

"I met my boyfriend back in September. Before then, it was just girls, I promise."

Fuck, now they were going to think of Bryan as the malicious queer that corrupted their son!

What are you thinking? They're not like that!

"So," Dad said, "you and this guy are, what exactly?"

"He...he's my boyfriend. We're in a relationship."

There was a pause I swear lasted about a minute.

"Okay," Mom said. "We're not upset, sweetie."

I almost asked "really?" but stopped myself.

"So, uh...are there any...questions you guys have?"

"What's his name?" she asked.

"Bryan...Bryan Gardener, he's a freshman."

Dad was able to pick up on the apprehension still in my tone.

"Jack, don't worry so much about this. It's fine. Does this Bryan make you happy?"

"Yeah."

"Do you make him happy?"

"Yeah."

"Do you use protection?"

"Of course!" I said, startled by the question.

"Are you committed?"

"What kind of question is that? Yes, I'm committed!"

"Well, that's all the requirements we've needed when you were dating girls. It shouldn't be different here."

I started choking up a bit.

"Thanks, Mom and Dad. I'm sorry for springing this on you so suddenly."

"Don't worry about it, sweetie. You can always talk to us."

"I know."

"So, how's the season been going?" Dad asked.

I was happy for the change in subject. The three of us talked college football for the next ten minutes. It was exactly like a conversation we would have had before all this.

I made sure to tell them I loved them as I said goodbye.

*****

Time passed, the stress of midterms died down, and I continued my relationship with Bryan, now out to my friends and family. Before long, it was nearing the end of October, meaning that his nineteenth birthday, November 2^nd, was right around the corner.

Bryan let me know that he didn't need anything extravagant for the occasion. He was fine if things stayed simple, but I still felt like I had to do something special. My relationship with him was one of the longest romantic relationships I'd ever been in, and it showed no signs of slowing down. I never got tired of looking at him, having sex with him, even talking with him. He was comfortable around me, too, even wearing his glasses around me occasionally. With Bryan I felt some of the most like myself I'd ever been. I could come out of my shell, get some confidence I hadn't been able to find before.

It occurred to me that I might have serious feelings for the guy. Like full-on, this-is-not-a-drill, love. I didn't know for sure, but the idea was more plausible with every passing day.

I'd only been in love once before, with the girlfriend I had all my sophomore year of high school. Ever since she moved away, I wondered if I would ever feel that way about another person again. Now that might have actually happened, and it scared me a little.

Did Bryan feel the same way about me? He wasn't exactly the most open about his feelings, but he obviously liked me, in the bedroom and otherwise. We had our disagreements, even arguments, but we've stayed together for a month and a half now and still going strong. Isn't that commitment?

I figured that before I got all bent out of shape worrying about him, I should sort out my own feelings first.

Was I in love?

I wasn't sure, but I did have an idea that would've helped things along, and it would be perfect to do on his birthday.

*****

The day arrived, and I took him out to dinner. We talked, teased, and joked like we always did.

"So, 19. Feel any different?"

"Not really. I guess I'm perfect the way I already am."

"I don't know, I can definitely see room for improvement."

"Hey, watch it, buster. Don't say things like that if you want me to put out."

I laughed, and he laughed along with me.

"So, what are birthdays normally like in your family?" I knew he had a mom and an older brother, but he didn't talk much about his home life.

"They're like this, low-key, nothing elaborate. We'd go out to dinner and maybe get a gift if we were feeling fancy. My mom and brother both gave me a call today."

I sort of assumed that Bryan had already told his family about me, but I wasn't sure. Even so, now wasn't the right time to bring that up. That night was supposed to be all about him.

I smiled lustily. "Oh, well, I'm feeling pretty fancy."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Are you? What kind of fancy are we talking about?"

"You'll just have to wait and see." I winked.

He pouted. "No fair. I'm supposed to be the tease."

Back at my dorm, Bryan made a beeline for my room before I stopped him.

"Hold up, Kitten. The night is still young."

I got out a red velvet cupcake I'd bought.

"Happy birthday, Bryan."

He smiled at me, not the smug grin, the genuine, warm smile I loved so much more.

"Thanks, Jack."

I sat us down, nervous about the question I was about to ask.

"So, I was thinking I could feed this to you. I mean, if you want."

He gave me a look I couldn't quite read.

"Uh...I guess."

I nodded.

"Should I wash my hands first?"

He chuckled. "Why bother? I'm just gonna get them dirty again.

I remembered the way my dad would feed my mom chocolate colored strawberries on Valentine's day, how sweet and loving they looked together. I tried to channel that as I picked off a piece for him. When I fed it to him, he licked my finger naughtily.

"Bad kitty."

"Sorry, sir, I couldn't resist."

"Well, it is your birthday, so I guess I'll let it slide."

I fed him the cupcake, and it was one of the most sensual, classically romantic things we'd ever done. I had my doubts about the idea, but I was glad I tried it. It made me feel a little closer to him, and the real present was yet to come.

Once we were done, I tried to gauge his reaction, see if he liked it. I couldn't tell.

He spoke up.

"That was just the appetizer, right? Your kitten needs something more substantial."

I smiled. Now we were getting into more familiar territory.

"Of course, pussycat. Follow me."

I grabbed his hand and led him to my room, which I took the time to tidy up and get ready earlier that day.

I cupped his face in my hands and gave him a little kiss.

"Kitten, let me take care of you tonight."

He smiled. "That sounds good to me."

I kissed him again, this time a little deeper.

My idea was that I wasn't going to have sex with Bryan, I was going to make love to him. There was a huge difference between the two, and I hoped it would help clarify things to me.

I took off all my clothes first. He started stripping, but I held up a hand to stop him.

"Allow me."

I tried to be gentle and loving as I removed his clothes, stopping on occasion to kiss his face or even his hand. Once he was bare, I picked him up in a bridal carry, much to his surprise. I could tell I would be able to pick him up, but had never tried it.

"Is this okay, Bryan?"

He nodded. "It's just not what I was expecting."

I kissed his forehead. "Well, tonight is your night. Just sit back."

I carried him to the bed and placed him down. I petted his hair affectionately.

"You're so cute, Kitten."

I laid down next to him and we kissed. It started out sweet, but heated up. Another night the next step would have probably been him sucking me off, but that night was different.

I kissed him some more before moving down to his cock. He raised his eyebrows. I hardly ever sucked his dick. I would normally eat him out if I wanted to give him oral, but I wanted to service him.

I tried to remember all the things he did during blowjobs that I loved so much. I flicked my tongue at his slit and dragged it up and down the underside of his penis. I teased his nuts with one hand while stroking the base with the other.

"Wow..." he breathed. I got more confident, knowing he had a good response to what I was doing.

I did what I could to make love to his cock with my mouth. I nibbled gently, sucked on the head, and tried to take all of him, which was harder than I had anticipated. It was kind of funny, too. He was much smaller than me, but he could slip all eight inches of me down his throat easily while I was having a hard time with his five-and-a-half-inch dick.

Despite my lack of experience, I could tell that he liked it. With some patience, I was able to bring him up to orgasm. I swallowed his seed, which tasted better than expected.

The two of us kissed some more, me holding his smaller body protectively in my arms. I ate his ass and prepared him for lovemaking.

I put the two of us into the spooning position, something we hadn't done yet for sex. I held his torso, gently playing with his nipples.

I lightly nibbled his ear before I spoke.

"My sweet little kitten. Let me make you feel good."

I pushed forward, and my cock went into his channel with little effort. I was all the way inside of him and kissed his neck before I started moving.

I took my time, making him feel every inch and aiming for his prostate. I kept my hands in motion, petting him or playing with his nipples. My mouth explored everything it could reach, his neck, his ear, his cheek, and of course, his lips.

I had fucked Bryan multiple times in the past, but this time was different. This time, I was making sweet, tender love to my boyfriend, and I was loving every minute of it.

Usually we talked dirty during sex, but now we kept quiet. I reveled in the little sounds he made, every gasp, every moan. I loved that I was giving him so much pleasure. I eyed his neck and got a new temptation.

"Bryan," I whispered. "I want to mark you. Is that okay?"

He nodded, whimpering slightly.

I picked a spot I liked and started sucking on it, licking and nibbling his skin hungrily. He moaned louder as I continued. I wanted the whole world to know that he was mine.

I sucked harder and harder, and with a cry he came, shooting one of the biggest loads I'd seen from the guy. I stopped moving. I cuddled against him and kissed his ear as he calmed down slightly. Once his breathing slowed a bit I picked up where I left off.

After a few more minutes, I started to gradually speed up as I felt my own release approach. I wanted him to come with me. I climbed up, knowing that I was about to have a world-class orgasm.

Once, twice, three more times I thrusted and we both came at the same moment. I shot so hard into the condom that I thought I would pass out.

As the world slowly faded into focus, I was able to gather my thoughts. Now I knew. This was something I wanted to feel again and again. This was more than just sex.

This was love.

I was in love with him.

Not long after, we were both cleaned up and laying on fresh sheets. I cuddled him, his head against my chest so he could hear my heartbeat. I knew what I had to say.

I pulled him up so we could look into each other's eyes. I cupped his face and kissed him before I spoke.

"Happy birthday, baby."

He smiled warmly.

I brought us a little closer.

"You're my precious little kitten. I don't ever want to let you go."

I kissed him again.

"I love you, Bryan."

In all honesty, I hadn't really given much thought to what his reaction would have been. I didn't really know what I was expecting, but I definitely wasn't anticipating what happened next.

His eyes widened. "Oh..."

He paused for a few seconds.

"Okay."

Suddenly I felt like I got hit by a bus. I felt like such an idiot, saying something like that so soon. I wanted to get out of bed and run away.

I'm guessing he saw the panic in my face because he was quick to reassure me.

"Don't freak out. That's sweet, and it's nice to hear you say that. I'm not creeped out or anything, it's just..." He sighed.

"I don't think I'm ready to say that back yet. I do care for you, and I like being your boyfriend more than I would've expected, but love is a big deal. If I said that I loved you, as sure and proud as you were when you said it to me, I'd feel like I was lying."

He kissed me.

"I'm really happy to know that you love me. Is that good enough for now?" He said like he was asking sincerely, wanting to know if I was okay.

I nuzzled him, rubbing our noses together.

"I suppose."

I held him a little tighter.

As we snuggled together that night, I was able to reassure myself about my situation. I knew from the bottom of my heart that I loved him, so I could wait. He didn't have to love me back yet for us both to be happy together. I held my kitten in my arms as I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

*****

It was about a week later that the weather started getting cold. Bryan had spent all his life in southern Texas, so he wasn't used to it. He fucking hated the cold.

One Saturday morning, not long after we woke up in my bed, he started complaining about it.

"Why does it have to be so damn cold? This is bullshit!"

I laughed and gave him a kiss.

"Aw, does the widdle kitty cat not like it when it gets chilly?" I mocked.

"This widdle kitty cat is going to claw your eyes out if you don't shut up," he warned.

"Christ, so touchy."

I got up to get another blanket. I didn't need it, so I swaddled him in the extra layer. I held him tightly.

"Better, Kitten?"

"I guess."

We snuggled for a few more minutes.

"Bryan, I want to know a little more about your family. What are they like? What have you told them about me?"

He shrugged.

"There isn't much to talk about. I have a brother six years older than me named Duncan and a mother. She divorced my dad not too long after I was born. Since then, Duncan has gotten married to a girl named Hallie. She's pretty cool. That's the long and short of it."

"You have told them about us, right?"

"Yeah, after we'd been dating for a few weeks. Mom was happy about it. Duncan didn't believe me when I told him the news. He said he couldn't fathom somebody putting up with me for more than one night."

"I have a hard time believing it myself."

He pouted, and I kissed his full lips.

"I'm an only child. My parents were supportive when I told them the news about you. I'm glad we both have decent relationships with our families."

I petted his hair.

"What's your plans for Thanksgiving?"

He jerked his head noncommittally. "I don't know. I already promised my family I'd come down for Christmas, but I guess I'd just do whatever on Thanksgiving."

I tried to push away the feeling that I was walking on eggshells before I spoke.

"Well...I was planning on going home for Thanksgiving. If you want, you can come with me."

He blinked a few times.

"You sure?"

"Of course I'm sure! What, do you think I wouldn't want you meeting my family?"

He averted his gaze. "Well, I guess being with you is preferable to being alone."

I rolled my eyes. "Slow down with the romance, you're gonna make me cry man tears."

He chuckled. "Sure, I'll go have Thanksgiving with you. I just don't know how it'll go."

"Oh, as long as you behave yourself, you'll be fine."

Now he was rolling his eyes.

*****

My parents were totally fine with the idea and said they would be happy to let Bryan stay at our house over Thanksgiving break.

Our last day of class was on a Tuesday, so we met up in the parking lot. I told him to pack light, what could fit in a backpack, and to bring some music and headphones, because we were taking the trip on my bike.

Having done both I can say that a hundred miles traveled by car and the same hundred miles traveled on a motorcycle are worlds apart. The college I went to was near Pueblo, and my house was in the suburbs surrounding Denver, so it usually took around two hours to make the trip. Bryan told me that he liked being on my bike with me, but I wasn't sure how he would react to a longer trip.

In a car, you feel more isolated, closed off. Whether you're alone or with company, you were in this little box. You had freedom to do what you wanted as you drove. On a motorcycle, there isn't that sort of bubble. There's nothing separating you from the outside world. It feels less isolated, but somehow more lonely. Even with somebody else, it was hard to hold a conversation, especially at high speed. You were more or less alone with your thoughts.

The trip went smoothly, with a break halfway through to get lunch. Bryan listened to music for most of the ride. The entire time he held tight to me. Later he told me it was like having alone time, which was funny considering that we were right next to each other.

My nerves stubbornly refused to see reason and stayed high as we approached my house. I had nothing to worry about, but that had never stopped me before, so I guess it wasn't a shocker that things didn't change now. We finally pulled into the driveway and approached my front door.