All Comments on 'If I Don't Show Up'

I found this story to be unbelievable and the characters stunted. I was also stunned to find a reconciliation at the end. I am not opposed to a reconciliation if it is appropriate but find it unreasonable in this story.

Other unbelievable actions:

Tom believing that he could control Jayce even with the videos.

The drug that forced Jayce to comply with Tom's instructions. Very worn out plot line.

Tom confessing when confronted by his bosses.

Jayce hiding until Tuesday. He would either be determined to get Marsha away from her rapists or determined to get to the police.

I also found Jayce being unwilling to risk the videos and thinking that if Tom found him he would have no choice but to obey his orders and his actions to be a contradiction.

SICK SICK SICK JUST FUCKING SICK. You are one sick cock sucker.

Not a wanker tale....but they all can't be. The epilog was a little weak. The initial premise of the gullible wife was a stretch.

She helped Tom drug him and kidnap him. You can't sleep with someone like that. She should no longer be his concern. Jane deserved some serious physical pain for what she did. Quitting and leaving just makes her someone else's problem where ever she turns up. Predators need to be permanently stopped. Jayce was a weak man. He should have cut the cuff and killed Tom with the knife. It would have been over very quickly.

Back there on the farm... lol. Next time bring in the pig

That's not how x works. It just makes the things you're already willing to do more pleasant. You can still say no. This sounds more like extreme hypnosis and cultic indoctrination.

Also, I know that this is your fantasy, so don't let the internet shame you about it. It's not like you've actually done this to anyone, so don't feel bad. Your kinks are your kinks and it's not up to anyone else to judge you for them unless you hurt someone else.

wife was just too dumb to be true, spoilt the plot. she should have been in on their whole little sordid sex ring, more evil, turned on by the cuckolding and group sex ring. the ending should have seen them all jailed for kidnap and sexual abuse, a proper "burning". would have made it more believable.

i would love to see this re written with as much realism as possible.

Jayce should of divorced Marsh. She's about as smart as a box of rocks. She knew what was going on before she got drugged and went along with it anyway.

It has absolutely no entertainment value. You do have writing skills, but your subject matter is lacking. Rape stories are NEVER entertaining. And Marsha and Jaycee were both raped and brutally molested. Also, Jerry, Bill and Jane got off punishment free.

fag cuck shit.

Sickening cuck shit.

I've enjoyed your others, but this!

One word: BITE!

The weekend would have been the beginning of his sissy cuck training.

But he'd have had all weekend to get free with arsehole getting his rapist dick surgically re-attached.

And after repeated male rape this story could ONLY have been redeemed with an extreme Kill Bill rampage or Marcellus Wallace levels of murderous payback.

But denying him all that, even AFTER discovering she too was being raped, you had the husband abandon his wife to several days of slut training by the rapists.

Sadly this story's sins don't end there. We were "treated" to a blow by blow (Sick pun relevant but unintended), account of the rape-fest. while the point of view of the story should have stayed on Jayse. Why describe the rape fest if not to set up how he turns the tables on them and ends it!

And then this.

"Bill and Jerry weren't prosecuted for anything." - Marsha was still drugged. What about Conspiracy - Aiding and abetting several felonies.

It had potential until Jayse's total surrender. Then after an gritty / ugly middle the summary epilog sounds an almost total fairytale.

No. Sorry, just no.

1*

Bloody Hell the weekend from hell! In the real world Their Marriage is Kaput? Neither get to go past Go and they don't collect $200.00. A very sad story! But (there is always a BUT) This story is really Great, well written, and it makes you want to kick Tom in the kahoonies! Now back to the L.L.L. see it did add a bit of lickee fun? Just not how She wanted it? But hey I won't give up on my fantasies! Thanks for sharing this Fantastic story with us! ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

Some MEN would just crack old Tom over the head with that kitchen chair OR poke him a little bit with a butcher knife......End of problem.......

Normally I dont like cuckold stories or drugged woman. But you tell it in an new way. Good read.

First off, thanks to the author for writing this story. It is the amateur authors who make this community great.

I learned a number of things from this story and I thank you for them. First, I realized that I was right for all of these years to ignore stories in this category. It's really not my cup of tea. Second, I was under the notion that if an author wrote well in one category that that quality would flow to other categories as well. Now I know differently. And lastly, I used to feel guilty about rushing to the last page of a story. I no longer feel that way.

Please go back to the Loving wives section and publish there.

Is pathetic. Not much else to say.

i cant think of a worse ending than him back with her

Should be in humor and satire.

Maybe start a "deranged" category?

I could not tolerate this story past the second page. No woman that stupid could ever survive to be 30 y.o. And to develop the husbands character that way mostly reveals you to be a very serious cuck fanboy. Your other stories have been from poor to marginal but this is the one that has taught me not to waste my time with anything else you write.

anonjerry

Here's a better ending....chained husband gets knife out of drawer. Cuts ankle restraint off. Cheaters walk in, husband slides knife between 3rd and 4th rib of the asshole fucking his wife. Cheating asshole bleeds out. Leaves wife at cabin. Brings sheriff to cabin, shows video. Wfe goes to jail for 15-20 years for kidnapping, drugging husband. No need for Page 2.

Really, he had access to a knife and he didn't do anything. Please stop. Don't write anymore. I had liked some of your other stories but this was so bad I am done.

Among my favorite genre of stories are the ones involving the husband being drugged, bound, handcuffed, and gagged and forced to watch or listen to friends, neighbors, coworkers, family or strangers having unlimited sex with his wife, fiancé or girlfriend. The key element would be the captive's successful escape and fitting punishment of the guilty parties.

Please don't write anymore

...And he stays with her....REALLY?????!!!!!

Pure crap!!!!

but when I tried to give it a one the rating was set to jump to 5 so horseshit, this doesn't even deserve a one. I guess the one story of yours I read and liked was either plagiarism or just dumb assed luck. I got to page one on this one and had to quit. Everyone in the story should have been euthanized and I peeked at the end and the husband was hiding from the big bad boss. If he was that afraid he should have just taken a rifle and killed him wherever he saw him. POS.

Farmers_Son name is a new word for shit.

He should have sent his wife to prison as an accomplice and taken everything in the divorce. I don't understand how a rational person could write THIS ending. Awful.

A pure pile. Not even a 1.

Jane should have been arrested for assault, battery and blackmail. She was a big part of the drug inducted rape.

What's the big deal about JAYCE being "embarrassed by the videos? They're incriminating for Tom and Marsha! Not to mention getting Tom in trouble with HIS wife!

How can Jane blackmail Marsha?

Not buying the reconciliation. Naive or not, just buying into the original plan was at LEAST divorce territory, if not BTB, and drugged or not, her treatment of Jayce that weekend was beyond unforgivable.

since I read they delete one star votes

Idiotic to suggest they would reunite after so much damage made by the slutwife. Only cucks would do such a thing!!!

U suck

The women in all your stories that I've read are extremely stupid, but the pother stories had some redeeming elements that made them credible, often gripping. This was one impossibility after the other. Not one of your better works.

You lost all by interest by page #2. It was bad enough to block you name from my reading list.

anonjerry

So I guess you harbor feelings of being restrained and butt fucked?

Oh by the way your story also sucks, that's my critique!

Author wishes readers to accept extreme naivete on wife's part to allow her to take part in drugging husband, kidnapping him, and restraining him so she could becomessexually experienced. She thought husband would be grateful.

She did not consult husband beforehand.

No way husband ever takes her back especially after watching her perform and her continuing to be lesbian sex slave long after return from cabin.

The fact that Bill and Jerry did not plan weekend does not give them legal pass. Both anticipated anal and oral sex with Jayce, both were aware Marsha was drugged.

They would be charged for a number of things. I am with two friends. They go into store while I remain in car. They rob store. I am considered an accomplice.

Would have been a better ending if he had totally disappeared. Tom would have been convicted of murder, sentenced to life and Marsha of conspiracy. He would eventually let his parents know where he was but they I am sure would keep his secret. Under the circumstances Marsha would get a year, out in six months, and then probation since she was drugged and not involved with the “murder”. Jayce would start over find a new love and then many decades later send a note to Marsha with a pic of him his wife and kids and grandkids with a big smiley face on the envelope. Same would got to Tom but with no return address,

Have you noticed that this typist's stories all have a single common thread: ED.

writing is good but the story is unreal

if a mother fucker did that to any sane man he would have been strung up by his balls no matter what the cost and no jury in the world would have convicted him and he could have pled insanity and spent 30 days in a mental institution

how he could love the wife after what she did to him is just as unreal.

Seriously .... forgiving the wife ..... fucked up !

If you wanted a story with great potential this would be it, If you wanted a story that you could believe and become emotionally involved this was most certainly not it.

I would love to see this story redone with its greater potential realized.

If she was drugged she couldn't consent.

So legally that's rape.

Too dumb to be believable.

Fiction is fake - we all get that. But it is the authors job to get the reader to buy into the story. Be it Lord of the Rings or Hamlet.

This is just silly tripe with the stupidest wife in the world. I want to say stupidest person but she was exceeded in lack of brain function by her husband for taking he4 back.

So. So. So very stupid.

Really. Somebody should shove that cast iron stove up your ass.

Absurd. Better stories on Looney Tunes.

Should of been charged to all. Tom 2 counts. Lesbo jane also needed cell time. Incomplete work here and things not well thought out. Story was ok but distubing on many levels. And going back to that wife...... impossible.

Kudos for writing and keep going but the lead character is too weak. Finding a knife and having the two lovers sleeping while fucked out he should have cut himself free and plunged that blade as deep into Tom as he could. Then gut the bastard. He certainly had a tight case for self protection. No jury in the world would convict him of anything except bad judgement concerning spouse selection. And him staying with her after that? No Way!

I'm not buying the "Rape" defense unless you are referring to Jayce. Marsha signed on to this free and clear, stupid beyond belief but willing and EAGER. Maybe a case of her rape by Jane but that case is weak also.

the husband, wife and author should immediately get themselves fixed. No sense putting dumb dna into the future.

Badly thought out and poorly written. Any man I know cuts himself loose immediately and either takes off or kills Tom. At the very least, when Tom sticks his dick into Jayce's mouth Tom pulls back a bloody stump. If they act quickly Tom might not bleed to death before they get him to a Doctor. But he would have been in no position to do anything to Jayce at that point. The worst part was Jane blackmailing Marsha at the end. She would have been out of jail on probation. A call to the police from Marsha would have had Jane behind bars so fast it would have made her head spin. That was just ridiculous. And you want us to believe that after forcing Marsha to get tattoos (No tattoo parlor does that against someone's wishes) and pierced nipples that Jayce doesn't have Jane thrown in prison? Like I said. This was a complete train wreck of the improbable and the unbelievable. Even for fiction this was just ludicrous.

Nope. This story should have been one page. As soon as Tom and the wife sit down to eat the eggs Jayce gets the cast iron frying pan and destroys Toms head!

I agree with the lead being a bit stronger may have been nice. As for the loving wife... Drugs only get you so far. Accepting two extras bill and jerry not so much and Jane not at all. I did like the story despite it all. I do prefer authors that bring some emotion , though even if made my skin crawl in a few places. Kudos

The story is just unbelievable on any level. Just seems like ill thought out ramblings. Some of your stuff is mostly ok, although usually for me goes off the rails at the end. But this one never even started out ok at all.

peice of shit cant even take a couple of punches so he fucks the cheating whore on command and makes dinner for the fuckers

How is this rater more than a 2?

Cuck alert

Also isnt it illegal to marry someone mentally retarded?

Sure honey we can get back together, you only cheated on me for more than a month with four other people, drugged me, kidnapped me and had me raped - I'd love to stay with you for the rest of my life

I get it now - they are both mentally retarded

Reconciliation after unlawful restraint? Not in anybody's wildest fantasy, except here on lit.

Being clueless to wake and find yourself being cuckolded, and yet, there's a path to redemption? Wow.

Regardless of gender, any person who could come back from that sort of betrayal by their partner clearly has zero self esteem. Maybe it could happen? Not with anybody in my world.

I won't rate this, that's unfair, as I did not read it.

This is the second of your offerings I have read. I will steer clear of others, leaving them to people who have a penchant for your style.

The second blowjob would never happen ! He was no longer under the influence of the drugs, he had a knife to cut off the cuff, When Tom came close for the second blowjob Jayce sliced off his balls and a quick slice across the inner thigh Tom would bleed out.... end or story.

No friggin way is any of this remotely real. It must be from someones fantasy world.

Bill, Jerry, Tom and Jane would all be charged with multiple rape. The cops have proof that Marsha was drugged so she could not give consent. All four of them would know that she was drugged by her responses. There is video of Jane forcefully giving Marsha nipple rings. That is a felony assault: permanent disfigurement.

Well, the author has an active, if disturbed and distorted, imagination...Pity the writing skills don't match! I gave it 2 stars, one for imagination and one for the courage to publish this CRAP!

To sum this all up,was Marsha responsible for Jayce's situation,when considering what Tom ultimately did to both of them?.Lets look at the facts first.

Tom coerced a naive woman (Marsha) and maybe even drugging her before coming up with that sex education shit so he could just fuck Marsha without consequence?.

Did the drugs in Marsha's system cause her judgement to be impaired and ultimately unresponsible for her actions?.

To answer those questions I have to say yet,pretty much Tom was the mastermind behind all of this,and he rightfully got put away for 20 years for his crimes.Now about Jayce and Marsha,its obvious how they can be making out and all of a sudden Jayce just goes limp,and Marsha cries and sleeps in the guest bedroom that both of them still need serious counselling if they want the marriage to work.

Do I think it will work,I am doubtful,but if both Marsha and Jayce lay all the cards on the table and come to an understanding and communicate with each other there is a slight chance they can rebuild their marriage,but like I say after some major marriage therapy.

I just hope both Marsha and Jayce can get thru this.

Marsha is a dead whore or at the least a divorce whore...

He should have divorced the bitch on the basis of how stupid she was.

I could see how if Tom had made her compliant originally through drugs that she could have done the initial work.

She remained drugged so had nothing to be guilty of.

Jayce did not kill him and most people would not do so.

I too think that all of the rapists should have been jailed but especially Tom.

I did find it hard to believe the reconciliation but it's your story.

Yes there were some writing issues but overall a compelling story. I would not wish to read another like it.

At the end with Jane & Marsha seemed to be a add on from another story. Didn't really make sense. With all the trouble the rest were in, why would Jane take the chance?

And blackmail? Everyone knew of the videos. Not buying it.

You really think he would have stayed with her after all that he suffered? Even if she was drugged, she helped with drugging him and kidnapping him to start with. The trust is gone. Could anyone try to reconcile with the thought that she could possibly do it again?

Sometimes dumb people deserve each other...

Once again your main character is the same as with all your stories he has deep seated submissive urges that makes him happy to forgive the wife and welcome her back with open arms.

When your loving wife drugs you and chains you up it is a forgone conclusion that, in the immortal words of Monty Python, it is an ex-marriage, it is bereft of life, it’s pushing up the daisies, it is singing with the angels and sleeping with the fishes (that last one was the Godfather but I was on a roll).

May be a stupid thing to say on a fantasy story site but GET REAL lol

What a thoroughly unpleasant, nasty story, made worse because he takes her back.

no way.

that relationship is done

In My Ending Bill and Jerry and Jane would not be so Happy .. Let Bill and Jerry and Jane Get Drugged and Raped ... Make sure that the Video gets out for everyone to See .. I am not sure I could have taken Marsha back ..

Just nope. I'm all for reconciliation and forgiveness but the wife deserves neither quite frankly.

I would have gone back and killed the lot of them a tool shed his clothes were in I'm sure there were tools in there. It's no wonder women play around with pussies like him about. Those kind of people do not deserve to live.

Hated it.

It's easier to sell an Eskimo ice in the middle of the Artic winter, than sell our Literotica readers a reconciliation in this badly screwed marriage. Even if a man marries the best and most experienced whore, he has no idea who taught her all those pleasures they are sharing, but every time Jayce and Marsha have deep-throat sex, anal sex, or try a new sexual position in sex, Jayce knows who taught her that, and how much she enjoyed it. He will be always fighting the memories and the spectrum of what Tom did to willingly Marsha during that long-weekend's bacchanalia for the rest of the marriage. In addition, he will never know if sex with Tom's bigger cock with the help of sex-enhancing drugs was much better than anything Jayce can offer. She was turned in a weekend debauchery into a gang-bang whore with lesbian and S/M experiences. There is nothing pure left in her. Her body and mind are soiled. Why suffer with the pains of reconciliation. She killed the marriage, and it's easier to move on and start anew than to rebuilt. It will never be like it was before for both their lives have changed too much for love to conquers all... The initial setting of the story was interesting, and even the development, but I was disappointed with the end and the reconciliation. She should do jail time. Her naivete does not excuse her drugging her husband and chaining him to a stove to have sex with another man. Finally, drugs do not turn people into sex-crazy robots. She knew what she was doing to Jayce and with whom. In my book she's guilty as hell.

Why should he want to take this insane slut back again. Or is it normal in your circle of acquaintances for women to believe they need sex education? And that it is normal to incapacitate one's husband with drugs? If a woman is so stupid to believe that, then she belongs in the madhouse but not in a sex story!

Beyond sick, if some clown tried to make me suck his dick , I would bit the thing off , back to his wife he is a real screwed up guy. How in the hell could you even contemplate anything more to do with his (Idiot for wife) breed with someone that much of an imbecile it should be against the Law.

He was a closet homosexual to start with , because I'd of killed the fucher as he came out of the bed room . Even if it meant dieing chained to a stove, I'd of killed the shithead.

He should have stayed in the mental facility he booked himself into.He is obviously in sane for taking her back.Plus he is not much of a man or he would have sorted Tom out at the cabin.

disgusting at the least; just filth

A man should be able to defend his dignity and family thats why passivity discusts me.... Learn to fight some martial arts.... Don't let yourself be defenseless

Nope, notta, no way.... Marsha should be kicked to the curb as Jayce can never trust her, again. She had to have been planning this prior to the holiday weekend. So it is reasonable that Marsha was CHEATING with Tom prior to the weekend kidnapping. Marsha knew and participated in Jayce's initial drugging then kidnapping.

/

To top it all off Marsha continued to CHEAT with Jane while Jayce was hospitalized?!? Marsha got tattoo's at Janes request - WTF??? She is too stupid to live with - what will Marsha do when the next predator/flirt comes talking?

/

Tom displayed he was willing to harm Jayce when he hit him in the head while being chained. All four of the PREDATORS should be charged in conspiracy and RAPE since Marsha was drugged. Doesn't matter who gave her the wine they all took advantage of an incapacitated woman.

Tom, Bill, Jerry, and Jane were not put on the sexual predator list for drugged rape?!?

Jane was not charged with assault-and-battery for physical mutilation in pinning of nipples, videoed too?!?

/

Jayce's assumption was very reasonable that Tom was going to make fish food out of him.

/

2* due to the BS ending to a farce. FS, if you are going to seek drama to illegal acts do some research of the facts to create reasonable conclusions!

What blackmail could Jane possibly have against Marsha?????? Everything was already out and known to EVERYONE including husband, family, friends, and work!!!

When Jayce had his conversation with Jane about the deep part of the lake, he should have grabbed both of her piercings and jerked them as hard and far away from her as he could. Basically try to yank them out the hard way! Then he should have told her "That's for giving Marsha the nipple bars!"

I would not have been upset for his getting some payback from Jane. She got off too easy!

...And besides my previous rant on Jayce's missed opportunity to yank out of Jane's piercings. Jayce had ample tools and opportunity to castrate Tom during the occasion Jayce faked being drugged and Tom ordered him to perform oral acts on him. He had access to kitchen knives, very close contact, overly confident opponent, etc. Talk about missed opportunities!

I would have used that knife to get loose then I would have stolen the car .. Maybe make sure that Tom becomes some guys girlfriend . If I could have got loose in time i would have put that knife in Tom's back . Maybe slash all the tires on Toms car , But their is No Way I would have got back with Marsha

This was a piece of......

trash better off deleting it

So there's a reasonably easy solution to this, once you're free and Tom is gone, kill Marsha. Laying wait for when Tom gets back, and slit his throat. Wipe the knife down then put it in Tom's hand. Easy peasy murder suicide.

Stupid. Me for reading it. The author for actually putting it on paper. The characters for each and every action. Cuckhold story. No man would ever take that slut back regardless of the situation.

I liked the premise of the story and the start of it. I found it intriguing, but I could see why people would have thought Jayce would have tried to fight back the second time... granted, it was a little murky if all the drugs were out of his system - Marsha wasn't given wine all the time, yet she seemed pretty drugged up all the time. I could have seen him attempt to fight back then at least since he had the knife. I guess maybe I expected to see more of Jayce being forced into things - I expected Tom to force Jayce to orgasm just to further humiliate him, especially while drugged (either with the docile stuff, or even more of a sedative.) I'm also not sure if he would have spent the rest of the weekend hiding in an unused cabin across the lake - that far away, there had to be another access road I assume.

That being said . . . the ending is where it fell apart the most for me. It seemed rushed, and the part about Jane blackmailing Marsha into being her sex slave while Jayce was in the hospital made no sense. As was pointed out, everyone knew about it, so what could she really do to Marsha? She could have had the bitch in handcuffs faster than you can say pie.

As for Marsha and Jayce being together still? Well, was Marsha already drugged when she decided to drug her husband? If not, there's even more of a serious trust issue. Not to mention the whole Jane thing . . . I'm not sure if Jayce would have wanted to make it work. Seems a little unbelievable.

A shame - I really enjoyed the first chapter or two. I would be curious to know what became of Jayce and Marsha after this.

A cuck is a cuck

Terrible disgusting story with such sick twisted people inflicting abuse, pain, sexual assault, serious crimes, mind altering drugs and everything else imaginable!

Truly sick F………. Ing people coercing the weak and easily intimidated.

Deep six the whole bunch after serious payback torture, including the lesbo bitch.

Who the hell was protecting Marsha when she got back to town?????

Obviously NOBODY gave a crap about her to help her.

Absolutely pathetic and sick.

Wasted our time and your time even “writing” it.

Any normal man would have destroyed his own wrists trying to get out and caved in that motherfucker’s skull and then caved in their wife’s skull. Violence in response to kidnapping and drugging in this kind of scenario is a perfectly normal reaction. Doing what this guy did is not. 80% of the story was cuck sex, which I skipped entirely because it was irrelevant to the story beyond proving the author typed it all with one hand.

You people have weird fantasies. I’m glad I don’t know any of you in real life.

Ending was very unsatisfying. Might have well added "and they all lived happily ever after"

Why wasn't Jane charged for the unwanted nipple piercing and sexual harassment? Can't see any reconciliation after drugging and kidnapping.

Would have scored this higher if the ending was better.

got rather stupid after Jayce escaped and all the police action. Really? Jane and Marsha were allowed to work together?

Poor ending.... too much sex commentary. Jayce was a coward, he could have found a weapon. One star is too many.

Not bad. Definitely not something I thought I’d find on this website.

Didn’t like that he took her back though. Who the hell would want that bitch back???

Don't see him forgiving Marsha. Don't see Jane staying out of prison. Poor ending