Ivy

"I'll start trying to send you some money for back child support, Ivy," he said.

"Don't bother Brian, the only thing I need from you, is absence," she said.

Anyway since that time I knew beyond any doubt that Jazz considered herself my daughter, as much as I did. Too bad I was wrong.

This time around though I got a chance to actually buy the ring I wanted to give Ivy. I had to get her mom to look at it with me though because Jazz refused to. She was as angry as ever, and even called me a poor sucker, when I mentioned it.

I was trying to find a good place to hide the ring, when it happened. I was in Ivy's house and the kids were all out playing or visiting friends. I thought that Ivy was working. I didn't know that she was home. I was going to hide the ring at Ivy's house because that's where the party was going to be.

The phone rang and on a reflex I picked it up. I must have picked it up at the exact time that Ivy did because no one knew that I was listening.

"Hey, Baby, what are you doing?" said a male voice.

"What the fuck do you want Harry?" asked Ivy.

"I want not to tell poor old Tim about you fucking that truck driver last week," said Harry. "That would surely mess up your happy little life wouldn't it?"

"You weren't even working there when it happened," she snapped. "How did you find out?"

"Well the other guys that you fucked to keep it quiet, had such a good time fucking you, that they told a few other guys around town about it. A lot of the guys around here have really missed you Ivy and have been waiting, for a chance to have fun with you again. We all want you to be happy with your family and your man, but we want to be happy too. So as long as you keep us happy, we stay quiet." There was silence for a while.

"Don't you ever miss the old days, Ivy? When you had as many dicks as you could count. Instead of the same old guy, fucking you the same old way, night after night after night?"

"No, I don't," Ivy said. But her voice was weakening.

"No matter how good the guy is," said Harry. "You need to try a few others just as a comparison. And no one guy will ever be enough for you baby. This will be special. Something even you've never done before. Fifteen guys one after another, two or three at a time, and when it's over, all of this goes away. No one will ever know, especially not Tim. Believe me none of us want Tim to find out. That guy would beat the shit out of all of us one after another over you. He's crazy about you. I think he's a little psychotic. Wanting to keep you all to himself. A woman like you should be shared and appreciated by everybody. You're like a national treasure."

"So just the one time, and I promise this is over. He never found out about the trucker, or about the guys you fucked to keep them quiet about the trucker. So he won't find out about this either."

"Okay," said Ivy quietly. With that one quiet word she ended our life together.

I don't know how long I stood there, unable to react. I'm sure that I continued to breathe, and my heart kept beating. I'm sure that blood continued to flow through my arteries and veins, but it sure as he'll didn't feel like it.

A few minutes later Ivy came out of her room and turned white as she saw me standing there. In a few seconds she recovered her equilibrium and came over and hugged me. "Hi honey, you scared the shit out of me. I didn't know you were here. I came home early because we weren't very busy at the store, but they just called me back in."

"Ivy don't go back to work," I said. "Call them back and tell them you can't come. Stay here with me. We really don't need the money, and we don't have very many chances to be alone without the kids."

"Tim, you're so sweet. Even after all of this time. I love you with all of my heart, but this isn't about the money. I have you to take care of me and my kids now. This is about being part of a team and helping out. We have a very small staff at the store so sometimes we all have to pitch in. Besides I was supposed to work today anyway." She still hadn't taken her arms from around me. She gave me an added little squeeze and pressed herself to me.

I reached around and cupped that big ass, knowing it would be the last time. "Ooh," she moaned. "Somebody wants some. But he's gonna have to wait until tonight after the party." She reached up and tried to kiss me, but I avoided her lips by turning my cheek.

"Tim, don't be angry with me. We have the rest of our lives to be together. One afternoon won't mean shit. I love you doofus. Besides now you get a chance to see how it feels to be the one who's horny and having to wait until someone else gets home." She swatted me on the butt and started walking towards the door. "Maybe we can grab a quickie after I get home and shower," she said as she left.

I guess I should have confronted her right then. I should have done the macho thing and just told her that I'd heard her on the phone and if she left the fucking house we were done, forever.

What good would it have done me? I didn't need a woman that I couldn't trust. That was why I tried to get her to stay with me. If Ivy had stayed here with me. It would have meant that she put us first. I'd have tried really hard to forgive her and work our way past what had happened, because I really did love her. But at the same time, she knew what the ground rules were going into this relationship.

I called the college and the university. I'd gone through this before. The Dean at the University wasn't even surprised when we spoke. It was harder dealing with the Dean at the community college. I had to explain that I really hadn't expected it and didn't want to do this to them but the situation in my personal life made it necessary for me to leave town.

I guess in a town as small as ours word gets around and everybody knows everybody. "Why the fuck can't Ivy leave town this time?" snapped the Dean. "The staff and the students here all love you. If you change your mind, there will always be a place here for you."

I had been renting out the house that Colleen and I lived in, to students during the school year. Luckily it was summer and the house was vacant now. At least I had a place to stay.

I needed to try to explain to my kids...I had to make myself stop thinking of them that way. No I didn't. I had a been a part of their lives for far longer than any other man had. Fuck it, they were my kids too. And I had to explain to them that even though their mother and I wouldn't be together anymore they could always count on me for anything they needed. I knew that Michael and Rose would be hurt the most. The three youngest kids were still young enough to bounce back pretty quickly. Oh God, what about Jazz. Ivy and I both thought that my leaving the first time was partially what made Jazz so bitter and angry.

I was the only person that got to see the true Jazz and how sweet she could be. I knew I was going to have to spend some time with her to explain this. But Jazz is a grown woman now. She'll be twenty one in just a few weeks. She's been living by herself in the garage apartment since she was 18. She'd just have to understand that sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to.

The person I felt the worst for was Ivy's mom. It just seemed like that poor woman was always the fall back person who had to pitch in and take care of Ivy's mess.

I spent most of the afternoon packing. I was only taking the most essential things for a couple of reasons. First was that I was planning on coming back with a truck to move most of my things. This wouldn't be like last time when I had simply moved my clothing and personal items. This time I knew I'd never live in this house again. I was leaving the house to Jazz. Maybe she could let Michael or Rose take over her garage apartment.

The second reason was the true one. The fact of the matter was that there was no way I could get very much stuff in my Mustang's trunk anyway.

I headed over to Ivy's house for the meeting I dreaded. Ivy's mom had rounded up the older kids for me. I sat them down on the couch and explained to them that I was moving out of town to take another job. Their reactions were completely not what I was expecting.

Jasmine surprised me the most. I expected her to be upset, or to hug me and tell me she understood and would miss me. But she just smiled grabbed her keys and left. "It's about fucking time," she said.

I was really shocked. I guess I'd always thought that Jasmine more than any of the other kids would be hurt by me leaving again. But maybe she was more like me than I thought.

In the back of my mind, I'd always expected Ivy to fail. Maybe Jazz has always expected me to leave again.

Michael's reaction was the worst. He was fighting to hold back his tears. His grandma quickly hugged him and told him that I wasn't running out on him, I just couldn't be with his mom anymore.

"Why?" he kept asking.

"Mom has probably started fucking around again," said Rose. My God these kids grow up fast I thought.

We spent the next forty minutes or so talking about what I was going to do and when. We also set up a schedule of regular visits for them to come to visit me, and for me to come and visit them. We talked about things they really wanted to do during the summer and places they wanted to visit. We also talked about what we'd do with the younger kids. I gave them each a new cell phone with my number programmed into it. And told them they could call me anytime, day or night. The phone that I was about to give to Jazz I gave to Ivy's mom.

In the middle of our conversation, the door blew open. "Hey, why don't I smell the food on the grill," said Ivy, smiling.

Michael and Rose, just glared at her. "Tim was giving us new phones so we can keep in touch with him, mom," sneered Rose. "He gave Granny, the one he was going to give Jazz, but I'm sure he'll get her one later."

"I don't need one," said Jazz stepping back into the house.

"Jazz I know you're weird," said Michael. "But last time Tim left, you cried for weeks. Don't be stupid because you're pissed off as usual."

"Why are you talking about when Tim left?" asked Ivy. No one acknowledged her question. Rose was looking at her mom and shaking her head. Michael was sniping at his older sister. He was clearly taking some of his anger out on Jazz to show that he was upset about me leaving.

Jazz understood her brother's feelings, so she was gentle with him. Instead of lashing back at him, like she was known for. She calmly spoke to him. They both ignored Ivy.

"Michael," said Jazz quietly. "What I meant when I said that I don't need Tim to give me a cell phone was for two reasons. Number one Tim gave me an iPhone like his last Christmas. And more importantly I don't need a phone, and I'm not upset, because I'm going with him."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back and started everyone screaming. Ivy started crying and asking why I was leaving. Tim and Rose started screaming about why they couldn't come if Jazz was. I think I was the most shocked. I had no idea what Jazz was talking about.

Rose quieted everyone down by yelling, "Shut up," at the top of her lungs. "Can we all just sit down and quietly discuss this like adults?" she asked. It was strange to hear that from a girl who was barely 16.

"Tim, what are they talking about?" asked Ivy in tears.

"Jeezus, mom," said Rose. "You came home with your hair all messed up. You've got bruises on your arms and legs, and you know what you smell like. It's obvious what you've been doing so don't act surprised."

"People around town have finally stopped calling us names and making fun of us, and now you go and start again," said Michael. "Tim, I'll call you tomorrow. Thanks for the phone. As soon as you get the house fixed up, can I come and visit?" Michael left slamming the door loudly.

"Oh shit, that would be funny," cackled Rose. "What if Mike and me and all of the other kids all went to live with Tim?" she laughed.

"At least we'd get a fresh new start in a place where nobody judged us by our mother."

"Rose what the fuck are you talking about?" asked Ivy.

"Come on mother, you're not that stupid are you? For the past three years, we've been really happy. We've been a family. We had a mother who loved us, and a father who did too. Mom, do you even know how big your balls have to be to step in and take on a woman with six kids?" Ivy nodded her head and looked at me, she started to inch her way closer to me. Strangely enough Jazz moved between us. And Rose wasn't done with Ivy either. She started talking to Ivy again in an even louder voice.

"Mom, how many men do you think would be willing to actually marry the town slut? Sorry, dad but Granny can't keep a secret for shit. She even showed me a picture of the ring."

"Mom, you didn't just fuck your own life up, you messed things up for all of us. So, I really hope it was worth it. Yep, you got your freak on. You had what an hour's worth of some guy humping on you? In exchange for that your kids lose their dad. That seems like a good trade to me. But what do I know I'm not an adult yet. I hope Jazz does go with him. Somebody around here should be happy." Rose got up and went into her room.

Ivy fell down on the floor and started crying even louder. Her mother tried to comfort her and looked at me, questioningly.

"Please call me tomorrow, there are some things we need to talk about," she said. I nodded and headed for the door. I stopped, when I heard Jazz behind me.

"Jazz," I said loudly.

"Tim," she replied.

"You can't come with me," I said.

"I'm an adult Tim. I can do whatever I want. And you agreed 3 years ago when Brian came to see me that I was yours. Let's get out of here. You don't want to see me driving in the dark," she said, stepping around me and heading out the door. As I stood there I wondered just what had happened. Jazz had lived here all of her life. How bad did things have to be for her to choose to go with me to a place she'd never even seen, and leave her whole family behind.

I looked at her grandmother who simply nodded and said, "We'll talk tomorrow." I remember thinking that she probably expected for Jazz to convince me to give Ivy another chance when I calmed down. Well she'd be wrong, Ivy and I were done. Actually It turned out to be me who was wrong. Jazz had no intention of doing anything as far as Ivy was concerned, and her Grandmother knew it.

Jazz and I got into our cars and drove away. I could hear Ivy's howls even after I shut the door.

A few minutes after we hit the freeway, my cell phone rang. I put it in hands free mode and heard Jasmine talking to me through the car's speakers.

"Tim, I know you're depressed about losing the woman you thought was the love of your life, but can we bump it up a nickel?" she asked.

"Jazz we're already doing 75," I replied.

"80, is my comfort speed," she laughed.

"Jazz, I really need to think," I said. "I have a lot on my mind."

"Absolutely fuck that," she snapped. "What you want to think about is some frigging way you can take Ivy back, and still hold onto your pride. Well you can't; game over. It's time to move on with our lives. Maybe a couple of years down the line, we can come back for a barbecue and talk about old times. But for now, Tim let it go."

"It's hard Jazz, It hurts so much." I said.

"Tim can we stop at a store? I need to get some cheese," she said. "A big block of cheese to go with your whine. Tim you want to know what's hard? I'll tell you. Try finding the man you want at a relatively young age, and knowing he's the perfect guy for you. As you get older both men and boys start hitting on you because of the way you look, or the way you're built."

"Even old men are sniffing around you because they think you're like your mother. Imagine that before you even get breasts boys are rubbing their crotches around you. How would that feel?"

"Rose talked about it, but she didn't begin to tell you how bad it feels to be branded a slut, not because of the way you act, but because of the way your mother does?" I had no idea that Jazz and Rose had been subjected to that. Her voice got even colder as she continued.

"Then throw in the fact that that one guy that you've been waiting for all this time, doesn't know about it. While everyone else has treated you like you're a woman forever, he still treats you like you're two."

"Then finally you're old enough to do what you want and he looks right past you and goes after some slut. It's like a bad high-school movie where the smart cute girl gets totally ignored by the handsome quarterback. Then he totally blows her off for some skanky cheerleader.

Tim, I don't have to imagine it, because that's my life. Throw in the fact that while I waited for the quarterback to get his head out of his ass, every loser who sees me hits on me."

"Jazz, I'm so sorry," I said. "I never knew you were interested in any guy. If I had, I'd have helped you to get him. You could have tutored nearly all of the guys on the football team in math, especially those two quarterbacks. They were dumber than stumps. Which one of them did you like? Is that why you were so eager to come with me. I think they both go to the State University, so you'll have your shot."

"Tim, shut up and drive," she snapped.

We stopped off and got a pizza when we hit town because there'd be no time to cook that evening. We also got tea and some frozen waffles for breakfast in the morning. The next Few days we'd spend getting the house ready and relaxing. Sometime next week I'd report to the university to start getting oriented to my new job.

We also needed to decide what to do about Jazz. I'd already decided that if she really wanted to stay, she could be my assistant here as well, or go out and get her own job. Of course she could also take some classes and get more education or just lay around the house and be my daughter for a while.

We both would need time to adjust to the changes in our lives. I opened the door to the house and knew right away that we'd be doing a lot of cleaning. The college kids who'd rented the house apparently weren't big on cleaning.

We were lucky though there wasn't much damage to anything. The electricity was still on. We'd have to call the cable company and get our TV and Internet service restored though.

"Where are we sleeping?" asked Jazz.

"There are four bedrooms," I said. "You're the lady of the house, you get first pick. We're going to have to pick one to use as our office, or maybe our offices."

"Tim, we can share an office, that way there'd be a guest room for when my brothers and sisters visit us. Maybe we should think about having two guest rooms," she said.

"That would be really nice," I said. "But we really need an office."

"We could have both," she smirked. It went totally over my head. I looked at Jazz and she just started shaking her head. I took a shower and threw on some running shorts and a tee-shirt. The stress of the day had me starving and ready for bed. When I came out of the bathroom, Jazz was dressed similarly.

She was sitting on a bar stool in the breakfast nook stuffing a big piece of pizza in her mouth and all I saw was miles of bare leg. As depressed as I was I still noticed how tiny her shorts were. She had one of my old tee-shirts on and had it tied up under her breasts.

"Jasmine, don't you think you should put some clothes on?" I asked.

"Tim you never said anything about Ivy running around you house in just one of your shirts and most of the time she didn't even wear panties," she snapped. "I'm hungry, I'm going to eat and go to bed. If you don't like what you see, don't look."

"Jasmine, you know I love you. I just worry about you some times. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. It's just going to take some time for me to get over the fact that you're not a little girl anymore."