Jasmin: Guilt Diary Ch. 01

(Next Jasmin went on and wrote about our first time together, in the laundry. Since I have already covered that I'll skip it in this part of the narrative.) After that, Jasmin wrote:

I wrote about that beautiful and very sexy time in my usual diary but it's right to write my first time at the start of you also I think. What will I call you? The Guilt Diary, yes that's what you are, the Diary of My Guilt.

And I suppose I have to write about this also. Even though it wasn't my fault. I should have done something. On the friday Damien was supposed to be back at work. Since mum had seen Damien respecting her wishes and not pushing her to let him take me out during the week when he had time off, mum was coming to like him better. Friday morning, Linda phoned saying that she, Gloria, Craig and Justin were going to Wet'n Wild. Mum said I could go when I asked her. I knew Gloria had a mobile with lots of credit so I asked Linda to phone Gloria and ask her to phone Damien's mobile and get him to meet us there. If I used the home phone mum would see Damien's number on the bill and I didn't want to get Linda in trouble with her mum either.

I knew Damien wanted to see me in a bikini. I've got three as the normal diary knows. I put the green string one on which I've never worn out before. Only the bikini bottom has a good white lining and you can't see my pussy when it's wet. But my nipples really stand out when it's wet. I tried it in the shower diary so I know. So I put it on. When Damien showed up he would love it. Over the top I put on some cut off jeans and a t-shirt.

It was a pretty hot day for March and none of us had college of course because of the holiday. Twenty minutes later Linda and Craig were knocking on the back door. I was so excited to see her. Craig waited downstairs and talked to David while I took Linda upstairs to share my news.

She squealed and laughed, really happy for me when I told her I had done it with Damien the day before. She wanted all the details. I didn't tell her everything except that she should try it on the washing machine. Linda's questions were coming so quick; was he good; did it hurt much; was he big; how long did we do it. I answered her quickly as well; yes; it hurt a bit at first but I did as she said and rolled my hips and it was just heaven after that; he filled me completely and sure felt big enough; we almost did it too long, I almost didn't have time to put some chess pieces on the board in the dining room like we just finished when mum came downstairs. Linda and me giggled like little girls.

Craig had an old panel van so it only had a front seat. It was ok though as it was like a lounge seat and three people could sit there. David came outside with us as we were leaving. He said, "Damien should have a shag'n wagon like that. You'd love it Jasmin. What will he say when I tell him you were in Craig's shag'n wagon?"

I told him he was a shit. Craig and Linda laughed. Linda went around the other side to get in and Craig let me in the driver's side to slide over to the middle. As I got in I felt his hand grab my bum and then slip down my thigh. I jumped in to get away. When I turned to see I could see a smirk on his face. David was nodding behind him. He said to Craig, "Told ya dude." I gave David the finger. Craig said to him, "We'll see." I was going to punch Craig in the arm when he got in but Linda was getting in then as well. I didn't want to tell her that her boyfriend of eight months had just grabbed me on the butt.

"We'll see?" Linda asked Craig. "What?"

Craig coughed, wound the window down and called to David, "We'll seeya later, dude."

Craig didn't try and touch me on the way out to Wet'n Wild. It took about an hour to get there. We had to wait for some road construction at one place. It was very hot in Craig's panel van as well. Of anyone I knew, only Damien's car had aircon. I was really looking forward to getting in the water.

In the car park we saw Justin's old sports car was already there. I think he's got a lancer. I wanted to wait in the car park for Damien but it was just too hot. We paid the money and went in. I'd been a couple of years before so I knew how much fun it was. First of all we looked around for the others. It was a big place and pretty hot though so after a while we decided to cool off first.

Then I remembered I had the green bikini on under my cut offs and shirt. I told the others I'd just watch them for a while; maybe look around for Gloria and Justin. Craig called me, "Chicken!" but Linda said it was ok. After maybe fifteen minutes I was too hot so I thought why not strip down to the bikini. I didn't have to get in the water or on any of the rides and I could wait with the towel over me.

Gloria and Justin found me then so Linda and Craig came out of the water to say hello. Both Craig and Justin were checking me out. I kept the towel hanging over my breasts. My nipples were too embarrassing without padding.

Gloria had phoned Damien earlier but his phone was, "Switched off or not in a mobile service area." She showed me a text message she sent to him after that. -Gloria here. Come Wet'n Wild + Jasmin 2day- Damien hadn't responded. I worried straight away that he had left his phone at home while he was at work.

Linda and Gloria told me not to worry. I could still have fun with them and it was true I supposed. Gloria said I should get some sunscreen cream on. I agreed and stepped over to a table under a shelter. I handed Gloria the bottle after putting some on my front. Justin saw my bikini covered breasts then but it couldn't be helped. He tried not to let me know he was looking but I saw him. Then he walked away behind, out into the sun with the others.

Gloria was doing my neck, my back and the backs of my legs. As she did my legs I felt her fingers brush against my pussy. The first time I didn't worry. But the second time was a definite feel. Her hand stayed there, rubbing me through my bikini crotch.

"What the hell," I said and turned my head. It wasn't Gloria it was Craig! She must have given the bottle straight to him. Gloria, Linda and Justin were across the other side of the walkway and in the line climbing up to go down one of the slides. Linda waved at me and then looked back forward as she followed on up the spiral. She couldn't see what Craig was doing because his body was in the way, bent over as he was. It looked like he was just doing my legs.

Nobody seemed to be paying any notice to Craig or me. He continued rubbing me through the bikini. I tried to turn and slap him. As I swung around, Craig shoved my tailbone with his finger and I stumbled forward off balance. My knee hit the bench seat and I fell over the table. Craig grabbed my arm and pulled me back. As I came off the table he twisted my arm behind my back. It hurt. His other hand returned to groping me.

I looked around. Surely someone would see what he was doing. Still no one seemed to be looking. There were people everywhere and all of them were apparently involved with their own fun.

"Ahhh, let me go," I said. "You're hurting me." I felt really embarrassed. I did see a mixed group of teenagers looking at us. They were walking past us to one of the pools. I should have called to them but I felt too embarrassed. Craig had some fingers curled over the bottom of my bikini by then. A couple of the guys pointed and laughed. I heard one of the girls say, "Slut," and I nearly cried.

Craig grinned and I felt him turn his hand over under me so his fingers could press against my flesh. "Should I call them over, Jasmin?" he hissed in my ear.

I didn't say anything. Then they were gone, jumping into the pool and laughing. From in the bright sunshine, especially in the glare of the pool it was probably hard to see clearly into the shade where we were.

Craig pushed against me from behind and I needed my other arm to hold me up from falling over the table. My legs were a little wider apart and he took immediate advantage before I could close them. One of his fingers entered me. "You're wet, you slut."

It was true, I realised. But I hated what he was doing. I knew I was wet from thinking about Damien. "Leave me alone, Craig," I said. "I'll tell Linda."

He laughed. The bastard laughed at me. "Tell Linda what. She won't believe you. One look at this damp patch and she'll know you led me on." With that Craig used another finger and was pushing the bikini material into me.

I knew I had to get in the water. Then Craig would have no evidence. As for my breasts when the bikini was wet, well I wasn't worried about people looking at them at that moment.

"Listen, Jazz," said Craig conciliatorily. "Linda and I haven't done it for a while. Let me feel you for a while and we're quits."

How did he imagine I thought that was a reasonable thing for me to do, I wondered. He nearly wrenched my arm out of my shoulder socket though as he walked me around to the other side of the table. It was definitely more covered there, not fronting straight onto the concrete walkway. Craig pulled me down onto the seat that side and then sat next to me. At least his fingers were out of me now. The back of the shelter was behind us. I felt the bikini gusset leave my body as he pulled me alongside him.

Emotionally I was dazed I supposed. I never imagined that my friend's boyfriend would treat me like this. I felt tears drop to my cheeks. Craig's hand left my side and rubbed my back in a soothing fashion. His other hand rose to my face and I felt his finger wiping the moisture from my cheek. The apparent act of kindness stupefied me. I think I could have scrambled away from him then but I was still numb from what had happened on the other side of the table. And now the kindness, the evident contrition of Craig kept me there. I let him soothe my fears away.

I was alarmed at once when he pulled me up onto his lap. I felt his dick against my legs and then between them as he pulled me down. He must have gotten it out of his speedos while he sat there. Anyone could have seen him do it. Again, no one seemed to be especially looking our way. I was facing forward on top of him and in front of me was the table. A towel dropped on my waist. As I tried to stand, Craig's hands pulled my thighs apart. "David said you gave head to Damien like a pro. Well I'm gonna take your cherry, Jasmin," he hissed in my ear.

"Too late," I said. I shoved my elbow back. I felt it hit him somewhere. Craig gave a muffled cry and I thought, good.

"You fucking bitch," he squealed. "You broke my nose."

I was elated. Instead of getting away I thought I would hurt him again. Above the play, the yelling and screaming of just about everyone in Wet'n Wild having fun, no one looked our way to see what Craig was calling out about.

On the other hand I was so maliciously pleased. What Damien had shown me had worked. "You deserve -" I started to say and swung my other elbow back. Craig lunged against me and drove me into the table edge. My elbow hit the side of his head this time I think because he had a lump there later. But hitting the edge of the table, that drove the wind out of me.

The next thing I remember is Craig's hand on my bare arse, lifting me up. He must have undone the string of my bikini pants because they were gone. I felt Craig's dick against me. He shoved me against the table again and then his dick head was in my pussy. When I fell back against him he went all the way in.

"You are a slut," Craig said as he moved in me. He sounded disappointed. "Your brother thought you were a virgin. You're really tight but you ain't a virgin. What would mummy say?"

I couldn't say anything. I just cried silently as Craig held onto my hips. Every now and then I felt something wet on my back but it was the dick in me that had all my attention.

"Your cunt is great Jazz. I'll have to talk to Linda about a threesome with you. Squeeze my cock you slut. Work your cunt muscles on me."

Oh, is Craig gross or what? Calling breasts tits is not too bad. But cock and cunt, that's too much for me. But Craig did remind me then of something Linda had told me a while ago. It was a couple of months before actually that Linda had said she discovered something that really got Craig off. She told me that when she squeezed with her vaginal muscles he really groaned his pleasure and afterwards told her how good it had been. I thought it would get it over with more quickly. A young couple looked at me as they walked past.

I think they could see that there was something going on with me. My eyes were fluttering as Craig's dick in me caused the first stirrings of pleasure. But the young couple didn't stop. They walked on excitedly whispering to each other about what they had seen me doing.

Even though Craig was forcing me and I hated him I was starting to feel good. I even thought about that young fireman, Graham, who mum wanted me to date. I knew Graham wanted sex with me. As Craig pulled me against him and I felt how his dick was rubbing so quickly inside me I wondered how jealous Graham would be of Damien and now Craig.

Despite myself, I groaned in pleasure. I wanted it to end but I also wanted to cum. I concentrated on squeezing my pussy on Craig as Linda had told me. I don't know if it was much better for Craig. It was much better for me that's for sure. One of his hands slid up from my waist and over by bikini covered breast. His fingers felt under the cup. As he pulled on my nipple I was cumming. I slumped back against Craig as my hips writhed against him.

I heard Craig gasp then and I guess I had been doing what he wanted. "That's it. Yesss." His hand left my breast and returned to my hip, holding me in a bruising grip. Craig was cumming in me. I could feel it. I had sperm in me for the second time ever, two days running. Gosh he was disgusting. But making him cum almost set me off again.

Craig's hands on my hips let go as the last spasms of his dick subsided. I looked around and saw my bikini bottoms on the ground under the table. He leaned his weight against me then and we breathed out the last of our pleasure with me pressed down on the tabletop and Craig lying against my back. My hips were still moving as the last of the pleasure from him was still in me. I think as the last of these trembles left me I was bringing his dick to new life. Despite the lusty pleasure in me that was still the last thing I wanted to happen. The first time with him should never have happened. I managed to push up against Craig until he was sitting up. I slid off him then onto the seat, belatedly realising that the towel was in his grip. I think I flashed my pussy at several people watching us from across the path in a pool as I reached under the table for my bikini. But I didn't care then. My bikini pants weren't ripped, he'd had no need to. Undoing the string had obviously been easy enough. When I had them back on I stood up from the table. Craig was tucking his dick back in his pants under the towel.

"You have a small dick," I said spitefully, yanking my towel from him. I didn't know if that was true but he hadn't made me feel as good as Damien. For the first time since he forced me I looked at him. Craig's nose was bleeding. He had blood dripping from his chin onto his chest and speedos. Good, I thought, realising then that the wetness and now stickiness on my back was his blood.

"Your cunt is really sloppy, Jazz. I'll find a monster for you, don't worry."

"Bastard. Arsehole," I said. "Don't come near me again." I dropped my towel on my shoulder, picked up my bag and moved away from him to the nearest pool. I dropped my things beside the diving pool I came to. Hopefully before anyone really noticed the blood on my back I had jumped straight in the water. A man on the high board was immediately yelling at me to get out of the pool so he could dive. I waved sorry to him and climbed out. At least the blood was gone. With my things I went straight to the nearest change room for a shower. I needed to get Craig's goo out of me. After the shower I put my clothes back on. The bikini I threw in the rubbish. I could never wear that again.

Well Damien never showed. I never went in the water again the rest of the day. The others just put my quietness down to disappointment that Damien never came. Craig explained his broken nose and sore head away as having fallen over while running. Linda was so sympathetic to the bastard I was nearly sick.

The problem for me was how to get home. I didn't have any money for a cab and had no idea of the bus routes in the west. The nearest train station was I don't know where. I couldn't travel with Justin and Gloria because the back seat of Justin's car was a massive stereo speaker. It was a dilemma.

When the others had had enough fun for the day I was grateful when Linda said she wanted to sit next to Craig. By then his eyes had started to go black. I hadn't known I hit him that hard. He deserved it though, the bastard. On the way home I sometimes glanced at his face. Linda caught me smiling before they dropped me off home and had a go at me, saying it wasn't funny. I agreed with her. But it was far less than he deserved.

Dear Diary of My Guilt

This I can't write in the other diary. It was six days since I gave Damien my virginity. He was over the previous night for dinner and it was wonderful. I told him I loved him and I do. I didn't tell him about what Craig did because I think Damien would kill him. And that would put him in gaol. I'm trying to forget that. The good normal bits with Damien and my normal life I have in the normal diary. You Diary of My Guilt are not for the good things, just the bad.

This sixth day I was up late because I didn't have college until after lunch. I looked for the photos under the lounge and they were gone. The packet and the negatives, the whole lot was gone. Mum didn't seem any the wiser, at least she didn't say anything out of the ordinary so at least she didn't have them. But that left David. I went to college.

When I came home in the afternoon I confronted David. He admitted to finding them, actually he said he saw me take them out the previous night after Damien had gone. I took them out for a look when I thought mum and David had gone to sleep. He had just come back to bed from the bathroom though and from his bedroom he saw me sneak down the stairs.

What did he want from me to get them back? Nothing. He wanted me to give one of his friends, Rick, a blowjob so he could get a toy from Rick. David's cheeks had coloured when he told me that so at least he knew it was wrong. It was also ludicrous. I laughed and said, "No way, forget it."

"Well I suppose mum will know what to do with these, then," he said and pulled the photo packet out of his jeans back pocket. I lunged for it but he shoved me out of his room, far stronger than me. "You'll do it or she gets them," he said.

I was crushed. "You really want me to do that? You want your sister to give your friend a blowjob so he will give you a toy?"

David nodded, even though his cheeks were flaming red now.

"No way," I said again. "Go and give them to her."

"Ok." David shoved me out of his doorway and ran down the stairs. Mum was in the kitchen getting dinner ready.

He was at the bottom of the stairs and around the corner to the lounge room before it occurred to me what it would mean if mum got the photos; Damien and I would be finished and Damien might lose his job. He had said as much a few days before. I couldn't let that happen to him.

(My note: I so much regret saying that to Jasmin now. My job would not have been in danger. I had said it just to try and get the photos, to avoid any situation like what she was now in. In the photos she and I were both consenting adults in the eyes of the law. As for the photos obviously being in my car there was no way to say from the photos that we had been in a public place so there was no provable offence. But I let her keep them. Jasmin said she loved looking at us in colour. She could get black and white photocopies at the newsagent but it wouldn't be the same. Jasmin said she loved seeing my dick in colour. She thought we looked so hot together and even liked seeing how wet her pussy was. So this Rick character and perhaps a lot more crap to follow may be partly my fault.) Jasmin wrote: