Jasmin: Guilt Diary Ch. 01

"You bloody bitch," said Rick and ran into his ensuite. I hopped over to the computer table in glee and grabbed up the phone.

"Hello," I said and then remembered I had decided to pinch my throat.

It was Damien. He was on the Bondi Junction bypass so still a long way away. I said he might as well go back home and come over in the morning. I said I had a bad migraine and thought I would be sick again soon. I saw Rick walk out of his ensuite then. He had the videotape in his hand. It was dripping water from the toilet. The case was cracked as well. I told Damien that I loved him but had to go. (And I do love him and hate what I've done) And I hung up.

Rick let me get dressed then. I would not let him back inside me. After all the tape was ruined now so he had no leverage over me. I had won. Only as I was getting dressed did I realise that I hadn't won anything really.

I had come here to do something dirty and get a toy for David so David would give me the photos back. I did that. But the sex I had with Rick I got nothing for except this guilt.

Rick told me that his father would have to wait until about nine to take Craig home from the hospital. Craig did have a busted knee. I was glad about that at least. Rick gave me the toy and I headed downstairs to check on David. On the way I saw this nice diary in a study room next to the stairs. I figure they owe me a lot more than this nice book but at least it's something.

David was sort of awake, just a bit groggy. He was so groggy he didn't even ask why I had taken so long. That scary movie was long over and it was just a blank screen on the tv.

I started writing in this Diary of My Guilt in the train on the way back home. It's after two am now. I'm so tired. I checked my breasts when I had a shower. There are hickies all over them from Rick's sucking. When Damien is with me today I'll have to make sure he doesn't have a good look at them.

(Well, now it was very late for me also. I needed some sleep after reading that episode with Craig and then with Rick. No wonder Jasmin and I ended up breaking up the first time. After reading that I was amazed that we had ever rekindled our love and then married. Jasmin had certainly been a sexy girl and what I read had certainly been a sexy read. But she had been my girlfriend at the time for christ's sake. Then a few years later she married me. At this point I don't know what to think except that I need to get some sleep on it. As I drifted off I heard her on the stairs. Jasmin tried to open the door but found that I had latched it. If I had left it open I'm not sure if I would have dragged her into my bed like she must have wanted or shoved her down the stairs. She went back down the stairs of her own volition and I relaxed to sleep. The last thought I had before sleep finally came was, How did Rick end up writing that 'dedication' you might call it, on the inside front board of The Diary of My Guilt?)