JJ and Ashley Ch. 08

"Oh, hey." JJ covered, flicking ash into the pit.

"Morning." Amy murmured, her long arms folded casually over her chest.

Neither butch said anything for a while, Amy quietly watching the woods and JJ's smoke. JJ didn't know what to say, her thoughts jumbled.

"It's really good to see Ashley so happy." Amy finally broke the silence. "She never said anything, never seemed depressed, but it couldn't have been easy to be the only single one of the group. All the rest of us living our lives, making plans with significant others. I was getting the sense she was lonely."

JJ wrinkled her nose, the idea of Ashley being lonely and sad not sitting very well. It bothered her, on an elemental level. JJ flicked more ash, unsettled. "How long had she seemed lonely?"

Amy shrugged her thin shoulders. "Becs and I haven't been around for a while, but maybe the last year or two. Her messages just seemed lacking her usual spunk."

JJ tossed her cigarette into the fire pit with a disgusted sound in her throat. She raked a hand through her hair, frustrated. Ashley was too good a person to ever be lonely or upset. JJ knew she wasn't to blame, didn't need to right the wrong, but it bothered her.

"I just wanted you to know. She's such a good friend, but I don't feel it's my place to try and tell you to treat her right. I do think you should know she's changed since you came back. For the better. It makes me happy to see, Becs too." Amy looked over with a small smile. "Ashley was the first one we officially came out to, despite it being obvious to everyone."

JJ looked up at the taller girl, surprised. "Same. I mean, Ashley was the first person I ever said the words 'I prefer girls' to that didn't react in horror or whatever. Pat my head and tell me to wait a few years, I'd be less confused then."

Amy chuckled and fell quiet again. JJ was treated to an old memory, sitting in a small tent, admitting to liking girls and hearing Ashley defiantly tell her everyone else was full of shit. JJ smiled, remembering the determined look on Ashley's face when she'd said that. It had felt so good to hear, to know her best friend wasn't rejecting her.

"Im headed to the bathroom. I can't be away too long or Becca steals all the blankets." Amy touched JJ's elbow and turned, making her way to the restrooms just up the road.

JJ stood for another minute, then returned to the tent. She felt better, but knowing Ashley had ever been lonely still bugged her. Curling up around Ashley's sleeping body JJ cuddled close and kissed her cheek.

She got another hour of sleep, max. Everyone woke when the sun rose high enough to heat up the tent. Breakfast was made, dishes cleaned, and real clothes put on. The entire group pitched in to pack the cars and take down the camp. All too soon they were on the road.

JJ followed Brenda out of the campsite and onto the highway that would take them home. Chloe dozed against the passenger window and Ashley thumbed through the music, picking the next song.

After they passed the small rural shop that was the last place to stop before Sierra Falls JJ asked Ashley to turn her cell phone back on. She'd turned it off and left it in the glove compartment, not concerned with having it while they camped.

Ashley pulled the device out and powered it back up. "You've got 80% on your battery."

"Sweet. How's your phone? There's a charger port in the glove box if you need it." JJ changed lanes behind Brenda to pass a slower trailer.

Ashley checked her phone, but was distracted by JJ's phone pinging and buzzing with missed notifications. Even Chloe noticed, raising her head and mumbling "S'that mine?"

"No, not your phone. Back to bed." Ashley patted Chloe's knee and picked up JJ's phone, intending to put it in the cup holder.

"Go ahead and check 'em. Most of them are probably social media anyways." JJ shrugged.

Ashley swiped past the lock screen and pulled down the notification bar. 45 unread texts and 12 missed calls, along with emails, tweets, and Facebook notifications. "Damn, you're popular. I don't get 45 texts in a week. You also have 12 missed calls. The rest are email and, like you said, social media." Ashley looked over at JJ, not sure if she should go through the messages.

"No voicemail? Odd. Who called?" JJ asked, looking away from the road for a second.

Ashley selected the missed calls and frowned. "Veronica called nine times. There's two calls from Margaret and one from Clarice."

JJ sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Go ahead and check the texts."

Ashley closed out the calls and opened the messages. She didn't like this at all. Veronica had again sent the majority of the texts, while Margaret sent the rest. Why was this woman so determined to get a hold of JJ? What could they possibly have left to talk about? Didn't she understand that JJ had moved on? With an unsettled stomach Ashley opened the messages from Veronica and skimmed through them.

"Veronica wants to know when you'll have time to talk face to face. Lots of stuff about why are you avoiding her. Asks if you're so scared to see her again you're willing to avoid this forever. What the hell, JJ?" Ashley set the phone down and looked up at JJ, anger sparking through her. "I thought you said this wasn't something to worry about. That it was all a mess, for no reason. What is there left to discuss with her?"

"Nothing. I have nothing left to say to her." JJ sighed and looked over at Ashley, frustrated that this had to come up now. "She wanted me to go back to San Francisco when the house was done because that was my original plan. Maybe she still has feelings for me, or regrets how we left things. I don't know."

"You could just talk to her. Apparently you're ignoring her." Ashley winced inside at how nasty the sarcasm sounded.

"Ashley, I've been ignoring her because the last time I answered her call all she did was rage about how I lied, how I don't care anymore about friendship. Supposedly, I care about how much pussy I can get." JJ glanced at Chloe, hoping she stayed asleep, if she even was. "Talking to her over the phone is pointless. You read the texts, you see how quickly she jumps from rational to angry. She's not really crazy, just led by extremely strong emotions. It's what made her such a good model, those emotions just under the surface."

"So there's nothing between you two anymore." Ashley clarified, hurt she even needed to say it.

JJ pulled off to the shoulder, rocks kicking up under the truck. JJ threw the truck into park and clicked the hazards on before she turned to Ashley. "Do you really think I'd start a relationship with you if there was still something between Veronica and myself? Do you think I'm that sort of a person? That relationships are just meaningless things to be tossed around whenever I feel like it?"

Ashley swallowed and leaned away from JJ, shocked at the raw emotion on her face. She knew instantly that her own momentary uncertainty and vulnerability was not warranted. JJ may have been a player in years past, but Ashley knew she'd never cheat. It had been silly to think so, even for a second.

JJ seemed to be reading Ashley's mind. "I might have played around a lot, but I never made promises to anyone that I didn't keep. I never started anything with a girl unless it was clear it ended the next morning. I don't cheat, I don't lie. I told you this shit with Veronica was stupid and didn't mean anything because that's the truth. She is an old friend, one who I care for, but I never loved her. We ended things years ago and that's where I left it. Ended. Done. She's gotten her panties in a twist because I came home and found you again. Heaven help me, I can't tell you why she thinks we need to hash shit out again." JJ reached for her cigarettes and lighter, but Ashley stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"JJ, I'm sorry. I knew you said it was meaningless and I believe you. Her messages just seemed so suggestive, like there's something between you that I can't see, it made me angry. It hurt to think that maybe I've actually been floating on a cloud and not seeing what was in front of me." Ashley swallowed again, hoping she wasn't about to start crying. "I had a second of doubt and you didn't deserve it. I'm so sorry."

JJ sighed and sat back up, pulling Ashley to her. "It's okay. I didn't mean to yell. Sorry baby." JJ kissed Ashley's head, breathing in the sunscreen and sunshine.

"I think you need to call her and set up a talk." Ashley whispered. She tightened her arms around JJ, hoping her suggestion kept the waters calm.

"Yeah. Probably. We'll work that out when we're back home." JJ tipped Ashley's face up to her, kissed her nose, and then scooted back behind the wheel.

"And you all wonder why I just have fuck buddies. None of this drama, no thank you." Chloe shook her head, looking from Ashley to JJ who both chuckled, relieved to have the tension broken.