All Comments on 'John and Veronica'

Why the exaggeration of multiple men in a short time? Why does she show so little sense about getting caught when her husband has not only made his position clear but actually left her for two days? That she's considered "ditzy" isn't sufficient because it's his wife and his sister's opinion doesn't change the fact that this guy, the "hero" of the story, chose to marry her.

You had a scene of them talking up front so why not more scenes of them talking with her saying things like she didn't realize what this meant until he left? Then he could catch her, but not with such an easy thing as over-hearing a conversation at home.

You have some good patches of writing but you need to think the details of believability through.

Rather a stupid story for this forum, don't you think? It could have been good. Use a little imagination.

loving nor even a good wife and mother. She is a very shallow self centered low witted slut. The husband was wrong in one aspect and so was his sister, revenge would not make his children hate him for the wife having cheated. He should have taken her down also! She had neither love nor respect for him or the children and eventually they will know and understand why the parents divorced. "This has nothing to do with us." Is a very overused and very ignorant statement. Time apart is lost? Time spent thinking about, talking to, planning, and being with someone else isnt lost to the relationship? the medical risk and possible diseases have nothing to do with them? The physical risk including being injured or killed by a lover has nothing to do with them? Finally the concept that this is something she has to do it wrong. It isnt a matter of having to do it, it is a matter of her chosing to do it, without respect to any and all people she places in harms way. When someone tells me they have no choice they have to do something, my question is, where is the person with the gun pointed directly at your head? You wrote this well about a very stupid woman, a mentally disturbed sister with her own sexual problems, and a husband who is almost strong but not quite strong enough, therefore I gave you a 100 even if I did not care for the characters.

This story was too quick. While I liked your other submission, this seemed rushed. We never really got to feel for the husband and while the wife was detestable, she merely came off as a caricature of a cheating wife. And his sister just seemed too easily fooled, even though she thought his wife was a ditz.

Okay story overall, just needed to be fleshed out more.

but it ended too easily and too abruptly. The wife's character changed. Initially she wanted one fling but ended up with 5 men, one of which was a priest and the other a politician. That was a little bit of overkill. But the story was nicely written and enjoyable despite some problems.

Totally stupid wife but then if she had come to her senses there wouldn't be a story. I do feel for the husband I think he should go out a find a woman who won't slut around.

I too believe the end was rushed a bit. The wife's character was not elaborated enough. Sure, she was curious to see what she missed out on, but to go from faithful wife to wholesale cheater in a short time seems a bit too much, especially when she was warned the way she was. The should be more to her story. His friend said that evidence seemed almost too easy to find ? Was there a sting ? Did her lovers know about each other ? I don't understand the phonecall that triggered it all. Apparently there was more than one person present there when the call was made as he heard "call cell" in the background and "they" knew what was going on. It couldn't have been during one of her trysts with one or more lovers, or the call doesn't make sense at all unless it was intended to let him know. And her statement form the beginning that she was going to do it regardless what he said of liked. Had she been doing this for some time and was this all a set-up, a mind game to have him accept his "cuckolding" in a way to compromise his position with his job and security clearing for the government ? This could have been so much more of a story.

G.Belgium

You seemed to be in a rush to get to the end. Slow down and develop your characters. Read and re-read your story. Does it all make sense and seem believable? Lastly, hand it over to an editor. Not a bad effort. Just not fully developed.

I do like your writing and I hope you continue to write. Fred in Canada

Dear Readers,

I am not certain of the protocol here; I mean writing to the readership in this forum, but here goes.

My husband and I write stories together all of the time, usually just vignets we use to spice up our own sex lives; we're in uor fifties. We, really I, have decided to write for this site. We are not pros, either of us, but we are giving it our best--and we even argue over some of the scenes. Anyway...

Constructive criticism is always welcome. I have taken it to heart, per the advice of some, my the story charcters need to be developed more, actually hubby has said the same thing to me. So, if it seems to any that I wrote in a hurry; well, it didn't seem so at the time, but we will pay greater attention to such in the future.

Forgive me if I have not done so well as I might have to this point. I will do better.

Yes it needs some work but your first two stories have been very good. Hope you enjoy writing them as much as I have reading them

I also thought the ending could have been expanded a little, but that happens a lot with stories I enjoy. A good friend of mine got this same itch a few years ago and confided in me that he was going to embark on a affair. I asked him to picture his wife with other men because that would be the outcome in the end. He told me a couple of weeks later after thinking it through he decided to instead work harder on his marriage and their sex life. He thanks me whenever we see each other. Usually we have the best right in front of us. Thanks for your story.

You did quite well until the "revenge stage". Like some of the other "raters" I feel you should work on the ending, perhaps make the wife and her men friends suffer more as your character exacts his revenge. Overall, however, quite an enjoyable story.

THis is a LOT better than your First story. In that one its clear that you dont "GET" men at all b/c the disrespect and inevitable cuckcolding that was coming was never set up. In THAT sory IF you has set the premise/ character of the wealthly nerd who liked to watch his wife with other men up to a certain point THEN the FIRST story would of worked a lot better.

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This story is better. The Bit where the husband figures out that the sudden change in Ronnie's perspective when he came back was a good clue that something wasnt right.

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But more tangiably It should of been OBVIOUS to the husband and to his sister -Bobbie- that when the slut whore wife did NOT admit up front to Bobbie what the fight was about... SOMETHING else was going on.

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<b> The ending is weak. The very fact of HOW Ronnie cheated (6 men) PROVOED this was NOT a hormonal thing but serious planning and cheating. </b>

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WHY after finding out she Lied to Bobbie... lied to him ... and was willing to risk all by fucking LOTs of different men... and give HIM a STD for god's sake...... did she get ANYTHING in the divorce??

balls to stand and be counted. Most women today are being constantly brainwashed by the mass media and those greedy slobs who are just money crazy. Two people can live as cheapy as one when they are together. The explicit purpose of this brainwashing is to divide people, mostly marrieds so they divorce and everyone in the divorce business make money. Seriously. Why do you think that most of the women never, like Veronica, know why they do what they do? I wish that most men would do what the husband did...but Noooo...the wimp assholes have to grin and get their little peckers at the thought of their wives having a real man for a change. The real men are the husband in this case..However you should have gone the extra distance and elaborated on the cheating. You should have elaborated on the revenge...but I guess npt everyone is the Celt...marriedwithballs@yahoo.com

The writing is good and the concept is interesting, BUT it says nothing of any real feelings this wife would have explored. It is “Gee I have been thinking about having sex with other men for a month or so and I need this.” Not real to thought process, it is an underlining want the person has rationalized as they want this and must have. It has nothing to do with anything but they have made a self-serving decision they cannot get what they want with the people in their lives and don’t want it with the people they once loved. The huge change we are asked to accept from what, we are led to believe, is abnormal of this wife, is given with no background of why she cannot reach out to her husband except with a dumb comment of “I want to sleep with other men.” <P>

Spending time with the sister-in-law and going over her feelings, is not part of the story we are part of. What was discussed and how in depth the conversation, leaves the story short on any real content needed to see the real depth of deceit the wife has employed.<P>

The ending is a bit of revenge and that is up to each reader to decide if the author’s choice was enough to satisfy them. It was a short rundown of A, B & C divorced and that is that. I didn’t want to hurt the idiot wife so the kids are protected. From what? They know the truth and yet any repercussions from Mom’s actions are nothing. Good example for the kids to learn.<P>

It is understood each person has his or her own take on what a satisfactory conclusion is acceptable and that varies from one extreme of the spectrum to the other.<P> Thank you for the time and effort in telling your fantasy story. I would suggest you expand your plots with more insight of all the characters. Please keep writing!<P>PT

CRAP!!!

stories all mixed together, with an abrupt ending. Keep writng and work on the plausability of the plots a bit more.

I liked it,others can be a little nit picky but I read the stories for the story not if all i's are dotted and all t's crossed. Thank you for taking the time to entertain us. Mike from Texas

Your writing is pretty good. Keep up the good work and don't apologize..No need, so few of the readers actually write themselves so hang in there.

I thought it was somewhat simplistic, but you are obviously making a great effort to flesh out your characters. I gave an extra 25 for that effort. Unlike the feeling for 99.9% of the writers on this site, I look forward to your next submission. Keep writing.

This story has been done more than a few times here on LIT, and done with more depth and emotional content. This one reads like a teenager writing about emotions he or she has heard about but never experienced.

The premise behind this story is not original, but you continue to write well. the main complaint I have with the story is the lack of suspense. You kind of telegraph your ending when you have wife think ,in coversation with his sister, that she just won't tell him when she has affairs, but she can still have them. It is not surprising when he catches her and throws her out. Keep it up though. You still write well.

60 year old George

anybody say to this ? I just take it for granted your really a woman. a woman who has done the same thing to her husband. with not the same consequenses so far. why do you think you (woman) can have both but always shout about filthy men? I really wonder? this is so radical thinking and not giving a shit about others feelings, and I don't mean the husband only. and the consequenses are far to often not to devastating because they still have the bonus of being a weak female. Has somebody like that ever felt anything (ask yourself) or was it always just what she/you wanted when she wanted (first family and career and then being bored with a good life, the last kick fucking around)? To close this where the hell is the erotic point here (literotica)? If you don't wanna be or love your guy anymore leave him so he can find somebody who does. you can go to a brothel and work there and fuck the rest of your selfish brain out.

With his field of expertise he could have easily made her "go away" and should have. Better to have taken her away and brutally tortured the whore to death and just let the kids think she left with another man. I would have.

I think some of the constructive comments have some good points. VH, I suggest you ignore the personal attacks. <p>Back to the story, I think it is a credible scenario with a reasonable explanation of how Veronica framed the problem: How could she convince John that she had changed her mind (she should run for political office)? John's sister told her exactly what would happen to her and she did it anyway; I appreciate a pretty good portrayal of a normal husband. John needs to find a new lady - that would have made a nice epilogue.

Just like the first story of your's I liked this. Not everything was perfect but I enjoyed it. Thanks and keep writing.

i hope she is the lomliest person ever ....what he did to the men was a ok he just didnt do enough to his wife .....he does know he could probably still fuck her when ever he wants ...id just wear a rubber to make sure i didnt catch anything....why do women fuck around like that knowing that if they get caught they will lose everything they hold dear...and yes i do hope she regrets what she did till the day she dies ...would only be fitting for what she did to a husband of 17 years and 2 kids

Much better than your first story and I also liked that one. I agree with some other commentators that the story needed to be developed a bit for depth of characters. I made the same mistake when I submitted a story. Wrote it and submitted it on same day as I was as nervous as to how it would be received. Will take more time for other stories. ######################################

Since you are female, could I request that you write loving wives stories from a female perspective? Perhaps you could start with this wife's thinking during her adventures. #########################

Isn't it amazing, the amount of emotion that can be generated in the comments. People seem to forget thet it is a story and not real.############################

Thanks for a really good read. Looking for your stories in the future.

Nice writing style, but not erotic at all.

This was a consequential lifelike work with the reality of marital stupidity in this case by her.<P>

Your talent shown through again and clearly this effort was much more appreciated by the readers for the reasons you chose. Credible story and therefore also you.<P>

My / our hope is that you continue in this strongly emotional arena called marital consequence with perhaps a little more depth to your players as the others have noted.<P>

I still think your bio is causing reader concern and sceptisim which is affecting their attitude towards your work. Again - even if true, consider changing it if this is really you because it is an impediment to your acceptance and talent.<P>

With Regard

There is no sex.

Don't get me wrong - my own particular tastes turn to rape, non consent, dominance etc. The difference is though that those stories are fantasy, and have sex as the primary reaon for reading them - whether to your taste or not. But this story has no passion or fun, and is just a portrait of a vindictive man who becomes bitter and twisted and ruins other peoples lives. So for the reader, there is no reward. No sex,no erotica, nothing to fantasise about...

Ending was a bit light.

the writer and/or his friends are being kind in their remarks and ratings this story is a standard plot and as an outline for a submission could be acceptable, as a finished work it sucks but to get so many good reviews is remarkable/

The story read well and was very logical. Interestingly, John does not act wimpy the way so many men do in the "Loving Wives" genre. In our society, we like to pretend that women would not behave the way Veronica behaves, at least in real life. A quick fling, kept secret from her husband, maybe. She would know if he finds out it's a risk to their marriage, but she would rationalize that she would not be hurting him if he did not find out and the fling means nothing to her long term. But Veronica must not have known John despite 17 years of marriage if she thought he would be OK with her screwing lots of other men "just to see what it is like" while he is aware of it! She wouldn't like it if he screwed others, would she? Women who marry and have children above all want security and stability in their lives. A married woman doesn't like her man sleeping around because she worries some younger, hot chick will lure him away, thus threatening her support, her family stability, and yes, the love she gets from her husband. I believe jealous feelings are nature's way of helping to prevent those sorts of things from happening. A married man gets jealous because he wants to propagate his genes with his chosen woman and because he does not wish someone else to take her love from him, especially after he put forth a lot of effort to secure it in the first place. He certainly does not wish to pay for raising another man's child (we are not including such things as donor insemination due to male infertility; under the law that child is considered to be his natural child, not someone else's; furthermore, it's done with his knowledge and consent). Additionally, for religious (or simply honorable) people, marriage vows have meaning, they are not spoken just to voice some words. I do agree with some of the other comments; a preface at the start that "there is no sex in this story" would be a helpful warning to those expecting it; otherwise perhaps the "Non-erotic" category would make more sense.

I think that at this point most of my original comments have already been covered. I think you got it in your own response too (with regard to the depth of the chracters -especially the wife). I like in particular any instance of humor - please feel free to use it more(example: life settled. The kids were happy, wife was happy, I pretended to be happy...)

I enjoyed it and felt that you could have detailed more and still held my attention.

If you are writing to add to your own sex life you really ought to include erotic scenes.

Basically, I really do not know what happened. From the story line he went home on Sunday and found the cell connections on Thursday. That would be extremely quick work. Basically we have toconsider that the only explanation would be that she was all ready doing it when she brought the subject up. Personally I felt that the original idea was interesting but it does not fit with the time scale or method of alerting him. He should have just asked for his friend's help after a couple of weeks without any telephone numbers.

I found Roberta's recognizing that she could never be fiel a suggestion for a more in depth analysis (another story!).

she played her ruse and it failed. the events she caused brought unwanted consequences to all, most notably, her.

there was little remorse from her, except that she got nailed! that says much for what she was. as for husband, he lost whatever passion there was for her.

The writing isn't all that bad although characterization is wooden. The author's understanding of divorce law is clearly deficient, in all her stories she mentions "no fault" divorce and totally misunderstands what that means.

I'm surprised that a woman wrote this story, so much so that I read her other two entries. Wow! Good reading, like her attitude, & the "no-wimp" husbands. The wife in this story was a little "wooden", but overall good stuff.

BTW, to commentator who talked about "no-fault", in many of the No-fault states, a wife who's caught in adultery, loses any chance of alimony, & often depending on the circumstances, loses custody of the children, & might even take a hosing on some sort of 50-50% split of the marital assets.

He is too calm and his revenge/respect too little. Five fuck friends equals public humiliation of the husband. Quid pro quo.

she aldo her job. she can date .......... they had a "gold mine! ........... she got the gold, he dot the shaft! so who won, asshole ? ............

Say no more when he went out and got drunk and arrested i knew a woman had written the story.What he should have done was told his sister to stick her advice, first she made the problem worst then talk him into doing nothing to her,you notice the four wives all took there husbands to the cleaners while he gave the slut the house and still had her around his family.In real life his family would have disowned her was she not screwing 5 men and sleeping with her dumb husband afterwards.

I enjoyed the story and was pleased to find that rarity of rarities in Loving Wives -- a husband who does not drool with anticipation of his wife's infidelity.//

I was troubled with an apparent ambiguity within the following, crucial, paragraph: "Veronica knew now, that getting her husband's permission was never going to happen, and she had a choice to make. She could dump her plans and never revisit them. Or, she could make sure to "convince her husband" that she had. Those were two very different things. But first things first. She had to get him back; after all she did love him more than anything; that much was absolutely true."
 // So, was Veronica going to convince her husband that she would not revisit her plans -- or that she would revisit them? Of course, the reader learns quickly what was her true intention.

she gave her family away,she should be destoryed.she was a selfish whore.

except for verbal or written surveys cause they are fictional. I mean about the supposed 60% of husbands and the minimal of wifeys. None of that is true, the real statistics based on thorough research of physical facts over many years show 100% of all wives cheat and only a paltry 23 - 24 % of husband's cheat. You can believe all those myths perpetuated by feminist shrinks all you want if you wanna continue believing fems are 'pure' and males are 'dirty'. All males do not believe that crap anyway cause for sure they're the innocent victims in most all such situations as cheating. For instance only 25% of husbands ever discover their wifey cheated and appropriately all wives find out all the husbands who cheat. Make the real stats your reality you husbands, beware of being confronted for cheating when you should understand they've been cheating all along long before you did if you did that is.

First, I want to rebuke the Anny Mouse "Obamanation" commenter. The statistics given by the author weren't that far off. That 100% of all wives cheat is just plain ridiculous! Of course, we all know you Southern Good Old Boy conervatives cheat. I mean, just check the news each month for your political representatives. I would speculate that cheating is probably pretty close in percentage numbers with both sexes. People that want to, or people that think they have a reason to, will cheat! Simple as that. This was a very good story. All three were in fact. Although I often wonder about the restraining orders obtained for the cheating wife, and the changing of the locks thing. I was in law enforcement for 45 years and restraining orders are only issued generally for threats of violence or child sexual abuse. Never seen one issued for a cheating spouse! Same for the changing of the locks on the couples home. A cheating spouse cannot be barred from their home unless they have left the home deliberately and a injunction from a Judge was ordered to keep them out. This has become a common theme in these stories and are quite fictional as both spouses always have the same rights to the children and the home! Nothing is ever determined along these lines until a leagal Separation or Divorce is entertained or filed in front of a Judge. Of course, I suppose anything is possible in Bush Country! Sorry if I overreacted to the last commenter.

The previous commentator is obviously a fem concerned about holding to the fem myth of purity and males scoundrels. The most recent 'survey' results show only 23-25% of husbands cheat and 51-53% of wives cheat. Huh, you say. Read and weep stupido puta.

But seriously depressing...don't read if you are a 'manic depressive'.

are not always right. It also makes me sick that they think they'll always be able to help. It also amazes me how aloof they act they are, and not showing much surprise to shocking news. They do have a place but they can also fail many patients by not fixing their problems. There are too many stories on Lit. that use counsellors.. while many people do need arbitrators or someone of the sort, there seems to be a disproportionate use of these guys on Lit... ah well.. Anyway I disliked the sister in this story.. single, cheater, feminist, acts like she cares that her sister-in-law is being hurt by the husband's actions, to the point she even discourages revenge. I can understand that publicity for her would be bad for the kids but otherwise (through a less publicly humiliating way)? What a load of crock. Thanks for the read; it was very good.

I agree with 0649d's comments

There seems to be a few obsessed individuals on this site who dog every sexy story of a wife having fun, and they then write revenge stories. I want to come here to read fantasy stories of people enjoying sex, not pontificate on the finer points of fidelity. I also notice that the attitude of the husbands who cheat is totally different.

I thought it was uplifting since he got rid of the slut and had his revenge on all but the priest. I would have sued the church and forced his removal from the church.

I actually liked the restraint John used when dealing with Veronica for the sake of his children. After all they're well being is what's important. It sure beats traumatizing them to the point that it effects their ability to enjoy life to the fullest when they become adults. I wish more parents thought that way. It just seems that some people today are so selfish. In regards to 0649D's comments about mental health workers not being able to help everyone you have to remember the old joke. "How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one but the lightbulb really has to want to change." Also, I think the word you were looking for is "objectivity" rather than "aloof" which is necessary to properly assess the situation. In addition, most good mental health workers don't make judgements because they know why people behave the way they do and nothing really surprises them because after awhile you pretty much have seen it all. No, we don't think we're superior we have feelings, too. Just because we know why we are behaving a certain way doesn't mean we do. Knowing and doing are two completely different things. Especially, in emotional situations. A lot of people think the same way as you do that just because we can tell people the correct way of dealing with a situation doesn't mean that we will if it happens to us. For example, take a look at Dr. Phil. He could probably tell you exactly why he is overweight yet he doesn't seem to have beaten it yet. Yes, you guessed it, I am a Behavioral Pyschologist and I love reading these stories but even better are the comments. Gives you a glimpse into people by how they react to different types of stories. I love it. JPB's stories always have the best comments. Anyway, I really enjoyed the story. It was well written and showed how a mental professional (the sister) can step in and stop a person from reacting soley on their emotions and to step back and see the whole picture and the consequences for reacting too harshly. Thank you for the entertainment. Again, nicely done.

However, we dis-agree: the slut wife got off way to easy. She spends some small amount of time fretting about her loss of an easy & clueless mark for a ongoing meal ticket & spending money. The slut wife gets the house and does not have to put up with the kids so her "personal time to slut around" is greatly enhanced. She gets to attend all the family functions without the bills and hassle. And she does not have to pretend she loves the weak male character so she is free to go out and get dicked as much as she desires! OMG, her post divorce life is so tough [not]. She obviously did not respect him and the kids will not either because he wimps out and runs away to a condo. Pathetic at best. Janet

He has no balls

Stick a fork in her; I rate old hide stories 1*.

WTF. The sister was making excuses for the wife's thinking of other men. What a wuss. I would have told my sister off if she would have done that to me. Granted i would forgive her later but again WTF. Wht didnt anyone suggest a doctors visit or a few to help with her prob. Then from what you wrote she wasnt even sorry for what she did. Geez.

he was still nice to her. A slam dunk for a revengeful man. TK U MLJLV NV

With a stupid woman - she was a decent mother (it appears) and she stays the mother no matter what - but she was a very stupid woman who will pay for a long tie and now she knows it - losing your family and your self respect in one quick minute is hard to live with -

Nice job -

..you really know how to write a revenge story Valeriahart!! I might suggest that you really have her husband get back at Veronica by .. say .. having him break one of her nails "or" maybe John could cause a run in her stocking before she goes to work "or" if you really want to exact revenge ... just one time .. allow her husband to NOT eat one of her "CREAM PIES" that one of her SIX lovers deposited in her CUNT ... now that's just once because Valeriahart ( your listening .. right ??) we don't want John to over due his payback! Oh, btw make sure he gives her the house ( can't be too harsh on a "loving wife that only ACTED LIKE A STREET WHORE WHILE SHE WAS MARRIED *AND* ONLY FUCKED SIX GUYS - NONE, I MIGHT ADD SHE WAS MARRIED TO - *AND* ONLY BROKE HER MARRIAGE VOWS *AND* PUT HER HUSBAND LIFE IN DANGER ( HIV, HERPES .. ANY OF THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU .. VALERIAHART - PROBABLY NOT ) *AND* DIDN'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HER CHILDREN *AND* .... well we could go on for awhile couldn't we! And you want John to give her the house and let everything else slide!

Grip on reality ... you obviously have done or the ability to finish a story!!!

No retribution. She got the house, she sees the kids. She didn't care that her lovers got divorced. Now she can fuck anyone.

You can tell this was written by a woman. A man would have given a BTB ending. We can always do a "John and Veronica" Redux. Give it a proper ending.

OH YEAH

@ Berayedbylove You are wrong. For the 95% of the Mothers are a very big punishment to loose the children custody during a divorce. 5% of the Mothers have not any motherly sense, they have the exception, because they glad for loosing the children custody.

If there are common children a total revenge makes the children drift to their cheating Mom. I think here to get the children custody the best revenge, if the exwife has motherly sense.

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But you need to edit the spelling and grammar. I liked the story, but the editing took a lot from the flow of the story.

What I don't understand is: How could she think that everything was OK after only a week? He walked out and didn't make it back home for three or four days? You've got to be kidding!

another worthless cheater that cant keep her legs closed the kids and family deserve to know the truth about her being a slut to. Its not something that should be kept from children cause they start to think it was their fault.

I found the story very bland as it completely lacked any excitement, intrigue or characters capable of true human emotion who actually showed any type of depth in their creation whatsoever.

*Yawn*

what payback should be administered by the wronged person. TK U MLJ LV NV

he should have just divorced her the moment she said she needed to fuck other men.

Stupid bitch i would have kicked her out right then. It would have been the end of it once they go to that level to push it in your face its over.

No man can trust a woman like that and i would have told the married mens wives of the affair as well and ruined their lives. Then would have had the dean aware of it so it would affect her job.

Re-read this. It could have been so much better. The cheating whore skank slut cunt lowlife wife never even shed a tear at the end. All cheater should live in agonizing pain.

Karen and Mark was much better written. This story has potential but seems to fall flat when it comes to the scenes that should show emotion.

all the detail in the begining then a sloppy ending. How did she keep her job and house? a #2 is the best I could do...

This story started out well, but the ending was too short and seemed not to fit the rest of the story. More details and she should have lost more - deservedly so. Having read your writer's profile, it would be fitting when you children started college or moved out of the house, that your husband divorce you and kick your cuckolding butt out the door. Cheaters should pay the price.

How is this erotic? Sounds more like someone complaining about how horrible their wife is. Should not even be on this site.

This story started out on the right foot, not too badly written, but at the end it fell to pieces. Seemed like the author was either in a hurry to finish or just didn't have a good way to finish this sorry tale. A good editor might help a lot. Or maybe the author needs to have a complete story in mind before writing it down on paper.

After Karen and Mark this is awful. I could not believe it was the same author!!

He knew she was going to cheat. Why not stop her and remind her what the cost of her cheating will be? For both your sake and the children's sake. This seemed like a whiny husband looking to be a cuckold. Not much fun to read.

Not a bit erotic! Not much on their courtship except they 'did it!' Less on the five affairs she started and quickly got caught at! BTW - this was done SO quickly that it is hard to believe she was THAT active with that many guys.

Even the revenge against her partners was unimaginative and without passion!

3*

It seemed like the author was in a hurry with every part of this story. Running in and out of narrative didn't help. I just never felt much of anything for the characters.

I don't know why some of the writers dont acknowledge that when writing from the firsy person's view , they couldn't know what was being said or happening in their absence unless they are told. They over look this facter and ruin a good narration.

As far as this story is concerned it was a useless effort to entertain the readers.

Writing was adequate, but not real good.

I dunno, I can't put my finger on it. Just not hitting on all the necessary cylinders.

So, after reading this one, I read your bio.

You're something else, lady (and I use the term in its broadest of all conceivable meanings).

You're at least as messed up as your female characters.

If hubby weren't already dead, I'd suggest he run, not walk outta your life ASAFP.

The sister should have been burned too, or at least ostracised from the family. In condoning the cheating cunt`s actions and trying to get her brother to go along with it, she showed her true colours. Sluts always stick together and cover for each other.

She also proved to be the world`s worst shrink if she couldn`t see through her slut friend`s lies and her sudden turnaround in only a few days.

By the way, what is the modern obsession with shrinks? Why do people seem to believe that someone MUST have a degree and letters behind their name in order to help them with their problems? Doesn`t anyone have friends anymore? I mean, You can usually get the same advice from a stranger on a bus for free, and it would probably help as much as the crap shrinks spout after reading it in a book?

I mean what was the fucking point of this garbage?

"But, I am educated enough to know that I could never remain faithful to one man only."

What the fuck does that mean....educated enough? If the author had said "I know myself well enough to know.....", now that I'd understand. But the way it's written, it sounds like the author is saying a little education damns a person into unfaithfulness. Sounds quite stupid, actually.

She'd have been the first one burned....at the stake. Give her the house? I would have drug her so hard through the mud she would have begged truck drivers to get her out of town. Her new profession could have been truck stop groupie. May she lead a miserable lonely std filled existance.

The slut should sold to the uglest whore house in town or the county, she needed her cunt stretch to the max she has no rights to see the kids, and never around Christmas once a slut always a slut.

but stupidity for sure is, TK U MLJ LV NV

Why you wrote this nothing much happened. A woman committed adultery and was divorced,unless I missed something.

I guess it was realistic,reasonably well written,but no tension or drama,or even deep feelings.

No revenge on her? She was the guity one, the one that mislead the 5 men. Only them payed?

Why wouldn't he set her up in an apt or a condo and keep the kids in the house? Of course this whole thing is a fantasy. The reality of the situation is that she got custody of the kids, she stayed in the house until the last kid graduated high school, she got alimony and child support. He got every other weekend, some holidays and a couple of weeks during the kids summer vacations. That is what the Courts would have awarded her regardless of her cheating. So, nice fantasy, horrible reality.

Just simply weak! Poor wifey, lets just let her off with the ability to carry on with her cheating ass ways. Hell, give her the house, why didn't this wimp just eat her out after she cheated and made it all it could be? Burn the Bitch! Destroy her and her cheating lovers. Sue them all, fuck them all,set'em on fire and then piss on them while laughing! I'm not a cuck lover and believe in retribution, vengeance and justice for the offended party. Let the liberal ass suckers love the cucks.

so he just decides that he gets custody of their children and it happens. ha ok this is just to retarded.

Just once when one of these stupid cheating wives say "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to....." I wish the husband's response would be SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU CHEATING LYING CUNT!" In other words, the ending to this story was very, very weak.....

I agree with the comments, in reality the courts will side with the wife, no crime to cheat (not yet if the courts and law makers get their act together) not only the kids, the house and half his retirement and savings and investments. His work load will double because child support and alimony will be paid or its jail time. His top gun lawyer would have to concede that. In real life, his money maker is the priest, the church cannot afford a scandal so a quiet settlement will be made, the politician, if he is national level a big settlement to keep it quiet and if state level well, look no further than ARNIE? WHERE DID THAT GO? The rest that had families, sure, stand in line their children and wives have first priority over the dipshits worth first. After all is said, she can continue her sexual flings instead of hotels and in secret, now almost or in any room of the house because you are not in it. and who cares if the kids see or hear or know, again no crime to be an adulterous or CHEATER. Sad, you would think that if people are willing to fight for same sex marriage, there will be a fight to protect marriage from cheaters and those that cheat with a married person.

The fallout and settlement ruined a good start.

Why give her the house?

Women get the house because they get the children, but she didn't.

Better would have been to frame it as prostitution, which is a crime that is punished in all but some counties of one state.

Would have done much to justify him getting custody.

This story was written in 2008. Home values crashing everywhere. And with him taking all the money, she gets to pay the mortgage and other home bills all by herself.

"... that way I can tell him I absolutely plan on doing it no matter what he wants and then conceive him I've changed my mind... while really doing it anyway behind his back without worrying about getting caught. Oh, and of course I don't have to even be subtle about it and only take on ONE lover - I can just jump straight to fucking five other men. Yep, husbands who are dumb as a rock sure are useful."

"Oops, that's a surprise - turns out he's NOT that stupid."