Jordan Spins Out of Control

Ouch, I really got that off to good start. I'm obviously not the perfect wordsmith I thought I was.

"Sorry, that was a bad choice of words. I guess what I want to know is, will we only be a couple inside these four walls?"

Now she looked at me and her brow was furrowed. "What do you mean?"

I hated that she asked me that question because I thought she knew exactly what I meant and she wasn't making this easy for me. I looked out into the yard, as I thought about what I wanted to say for a moment and then returned my gaze to meet hers.

"When we're in there or behind closed doors life with you is unbelievable and I have to pinch myself to be sure I'm not dreaming. But I want to know how we will interact with others when we're in public."

I paused for a minute as I saw the look in her eyes seem very distant as I spoke.

"Look, I'm not trying to turn you into something you're not. I know you freaked out today when I grabbed your hand as we were walking into school. I guess I just want to know in advance, is that the way it will always be? I mean, if we're shopping in Walmart together someday and I accidentally grab your hand are you going to get weird on me?"

She sighed and looked contemplative. I could tell this was not the first time she considered that question. Perhaps she had been asking herself the same thing before and now she finally had to address it.

I let another minute pass as I glanced at my watch. It was not seven yet, but I didn't want to get into a deep conversation now and not be able to talk it through. I still had the key to heaven in my pocket.

"Look, this is not an ultimatum, it's only a question. I'm new at this relationship thing, so I want to be sure I understand all the ground rules in advance. If you tell me on the front end that this will be the way it is, then I'll accept it. You don't have to come up with an answer now; it's something you should feel comfortable about. Something I need to feel comfortable about."

She looked over at me and I could tell she was ready to say something so I just sat and watched her collect her thoughts.

"Can you tell me why that's so important to you? Is what we have already not enough? I mean, if that was all there was, would it not be enough for you?"

Well, there goes my chance at avoiding a deep conversation. I considered her question for a moment as we continued to maintain eye contact. The look in her eyes really scared me. It was as if she was afraid of my answer and I didn't like that level of insecurity that currently existed between us.

"Look babe, you know I'm new at all this, so I certainly don't pretend to have all the answers. What we have is wonderful and I wouldn't change it for the world. But when you see couples out together doing everyday things it's obvious that they're couples because they touch each other, they hold hands, they caress each other and occasionally – brace yourself, they even kiss each other. I guess it's all the magical things that make being in a relationship special. I'm proud of you and when we go somewhere together I'd like to be able to take your hand and show you off. I'm sorry I'm babbling here, but that's the way it seems to me that it should be."

She stayed quiet and occasionally made eye contact with me as she considered what I had said. It was now several minutes after seven and I didn't want to leave Debbie in disarray, but I did not want to stay and deal with this issue now.

"Look babe, I have to run but we can talk more about this over the weekend. I know it's an important issue for you and we'll get through it, I promise."

She gave me a half smile and then nodded at me, as if she agreed. I stood up and stepped towards her and then leaned over to kiss her. She looked up to meet my lips and we kissed and held the kiss for several moments. I automatically put my hand behind her head and caressed her as we kissed. When I pulled away her eyes were slightly moist, but she said nothing.

I'm no expert on relationships but I am a student of life, so as I slowly backed my car out of Debbie's driveway here's the observation I arrived at about our less than stellar conversation. People have good days together and they also have bad days together. I believe that relationships survive when that distinction can be recognized in advance and properly acted upon to avoid negative confrontation.

I know you're probably thinking that I couldn't wait to run off to Erika's house and in a way that's probably right. But I recognized that there was some hurdle that Debbie was trying to get beyond and she wasn't going to get there with my help. She needed some time to consider what I said and then determine the way she feels. If I had placed any pressure on her now it would not have been a happy ending and I certainly didn't want that.

I got my phone out of my purse and brought up my directory and found Candy's number. I hit the send button and I waited for her to pick up. After three rings I got her voice mail and her sexy voice encouraged me to leave a message. I guessed she was probably at work.

"Candy, its Jordan. Sorry I missed you sweetie. I'll be difficult to contact until Sunday, so I'll call you then and we can try and get some time together. Bye."

Then I found Erika's number in my directory and I dialed her cell.

I don't know how to properly differentiate the affect Erika's voice had on me versus the affect Candy's voice had on me, so how about a metaphor? I think hearing both of them kind of launch me into orbit, but Erika's voice seems to do it to me at the speed of light.

After I got the directions I calculated I was not more than ten minutes from her house. When I finally arrived in her subdivision and I found the house easily enough and then I had to punch in a security code she gave me to open the wrought iron gates. If I was moving up in the world from my parent's house to Debbie's house, then I just left the planet when I drove through those double gates.

I drove up the circular driveway that meandered past the front of the house and brought my car to a stop right behind Erika's Corvette. So this is what paradise looks like from the inside, I thought.

I grabbed the Victoria's Secret bags from my trunk and by the time I turned towards the house I almost did a double take. About seventy five feet away from where I was now standing I saw Erika waiting to greet me in her doorway. That in and of itself was not terribly surprising, since it was her house, but to see her wearing nothing but a black mesh body suit and her seven inch black heels nearly gave me a heart attack.

As I started to walk towards the door with my eyes fixated on the most perfect woman god had ever created, I knew I could not be any wetter down there if someone had just soaked me with a garden hose. I suddenly had a feeling that my time inside that impressive dwelling would become a defining moment in my life, as the very last thing I had on my mind before I kissed Erika was Debbie's face.

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