Krush

Shelly spun around so quickly her dress hem fanned out, spread her arms wide and smiled at Joyce, "I'm so happy you have no idea how happy ... I just got fired!"

Joyce didn't know what to say, except, "Oh honey, I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you here."

An hour later, Shelly was busy learning the command lines of the new accounting software, when suddenly, Joyce popped into the office.

"Hi, Shelly, My Kline asked me to present this to you in person and not leave until it was in your hands ... I'm so sorry dear," said Joyce as she held the white envelope out for Shelly to grasp.

"Thank you Joyce," said Shelly as she reached for the small white box, "I'll be fine, I always crash on my ass, before I soar with the wings on my feet," added Shelly.

After Joyce vacated Shelly's space, Shelly opened the small box carefully then pulled out a piece of green paper covering a business card placed in the center of a plain brown paper folded like an envelope. She picked up the note first and looked at the perfect handwriting. Instantly she realized she was holding a piece of paper touched by the man she had cared about years ago, but she wasn't prepared for the simplicity of the words she was about to read.

My Dearest Shelly;

These belong to you.

Love always;

Peter

Shelly felt an incredible pain in her heart and she began to feel her throat swell as her eyes became watery. She picked up the business card and read it; 'ADC - Aero Dynamic Communications' and below was the name and phone number of the firm's owner. Then she looked at the small brown paper package and thought; 'what in the world?' She lifted the flap and saw a zip-lock bag with a small white panty inside. Shelly instantly cupped her mouth with her palm and said aloud, "Oh my God," then she dropped the card and note over the bag, quickly closed the box, held it tight to her lap and swiveled her chair toward the window.

"Shelly?" asked Mary softly, "You alright?"

Shelly cleared her throat as she gazed at the large oak tree in the yard outside the window as she said in an almost whisper, "Never better," then she slipped the box deep into her open purse and zipped her purse closed.

That night, Shelly prepared a roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and green bean dinner for her mother then she quietly sat with the woman to enjoy the meal. Shelly would usually blabber on about the goings on at her job driving the woman nuts, but that night she ate quietly and after a few moments, her mother knew Shelly was bothered by something. The woman placed her fork on the table and sat erect, and when Shelly looked up she asked as she held a fork of mashed potatoes over her plate, "What mom?"

The woman gazed at her daughter for a brief moment then asked softly, "You haven't said a word all night, what's wrong?"

"Nothing mom," quipped Shelly then she raised the mashed potatoes to her mouth.

"Really," said her mother, "with that tone of voice I know better," she added as she placed her hands in her lap to grab her napkin.

Shelly lowered the fork from her mouth then rested it on the potatoes on her plate and she looked deep into her mother's eyes after she exhaled through her nose. She had to say something but she knew she had to lie. For the first time in her life, Shelly felt trapped. Her body began to thump as her heart started to pound in her chest, then her mother picked up the fork and began poking at the roasted chicken parts on her plate.

"Honey," the woman began, "I know despair when I see it and I know renewed hope ... they may be conflicts but they're plain as day on your face," she said softly. Then she said something that caught Shelly completely off guard, "I saw that look on your face for the first time a long time ago, I had a good idea what was going on then, but I couldn't prove a thing."

Shelly started feeling nervous and her heart began beating so hard she thought her mother could hear it. She wanted to tell her mother the truth but she knew it would turn her life upside down. She had to say something so she offered anything to divert the conversation, "You remember the blonde boy from school ... he hung around all the time?"

"Billy?" her mother asked quickly.

"No mom ... Kenny, the silly boy with the old dog," said Shelly nervously.

Her mother looked straight at Shelly and said with a clear voice, "All the boys sniffed around after your boobs started growing ... I couldn't remember all the boys in your my life," said her mother as she looked into space.

Shelly looked down and didn't know what to say but when she looked up at her mother the woman said, "Shelly, I'm talking before the boys ... I don't want to see you get hurt again, that's all ... why are you seeing Kenny again?" offered her mother.

"Mom ... I'm not seeing Kenny ... I'm fine, I have a great job and I like most of the people I work with," said Shelly as she scanned her dinner plate and grouped in her mind for a simple answer.

"I'm your mother, I know these things, and I know you had your heart broken when you were young, I had an idea who did it, and I knew my little girl was hurt, and it wasn't because of Kenny, it was shortly after that man moved away, you know, the one who lived next door to us for a few months," said her mother in a soft voice.

"Can we change the subject, I'm not enjoying this food or this conversation anymore," said Shelly as she speared the mashed potatoes with her fork.

Suddenly Shelly's mother coughed then picked up her napkin to wipe the spittle from her lips. Then, as if a haunting spirit entered the room Shelly's body flushed with coolness. "You ok mom?"

Shelly's mother placed the napkin in her lap then looked at Shelly with gazing eyes, "Chuck called him ... the sitter."

Shelly felt her entire world folding in before her and there wasn't anything left to do except lie about her relationship with a man she wanted desperately when she younger. Her mind began to scramble for words and just as she was ready to speak, she looked into her mother's eyes and said softy, "If only, mom ... if only."

"Look Shelly, you know I slept around, and your sister's fathers are not your father, it is what it is Shelly, I like men, but I could never abort, I can't help it, and you know what they say, like mother like daughter," said her mother calmly then she looked up at her beautiful daughter and asked softly, "did he ever touch you?"

Shelly felt she had to get her mother to shut up but at the same time she had to be discrete. She looked away for a moment then looked back at her mother as thoughts about how she would say what she had to say raced though her mind but she blurted out as she felt her body heat up. "MOM! ... Look, he never touched any of us, ok? ... My God, you dumped us on him almost every weekend so you and Chuck could go out, you never considered he might have a life too ... he was always nice to us and cared a lot about your three girls, shit mom, he taught us a lot of things ... We, well at least I know, how to face a man and tie his necktie into a Windsor knot because of him, he even taught us how to cook and play chess ... he taught us more in four months then I learned at home ... it was, a crush, mom, nothing more and nothing less, and yes ... it hurt when he suddenly left."

Shelly waited for her mother to respond and when she did, Shelly's eyes began to hurt. "Learned more than at home ... that hurt ... Shelly, you were with him for an entire night one night, I figured out how you managed to pull that one off halfway through the concert but I was twelve hours away, you didn't have the stomach flue, did you ... I know you were advanced for your age ... Chuck told me he thought you sometimes watched us, I could never figure how, so I never believed him ... but the day he told me he saw you playing with yourself in the back yard while watching him ... I knew you were just like me ... I had my suspicions about you and that man, your eyes followed him everywhere."

Shelly began feeling cornered and scared. She never dreamed her voyeurism would be discovered because she thought at the time the way she did it was clever, but if her mother's boyfriend saw her masturbating in broad daylight while watching the neighbor wash his fancy car, it must have been obvious to adults she had a strong sexual attraction to the man. Then she thought; 'what else does she know?' Shelly didn't know what to do next except pat her lips with the napkin and look at the aged woman sitting across the table from her. Then as her mind began to focus again, Shelly looked down at her plate and said calmly, "Are you finished ... Can we eat now? ... I'm starved."

Shelly's mother lifted the fork from the table and looked at her gorgeous daughter with loving eyes, "You miss his touch don't you?"

"DAMN IT Mother! ... I said he never touched us!" said Shelly loudly, "Drop it ... let's eat."

That night after cleaning the kitchen and helping her mother get into bed for the night, Shelly went to her room and undressed. She thought about the little hole and the nights she spent just watching then she looked in her vanity mirror and felt a strong pull to masturbate. She locked her door, placed the pillows in a pile, climbed on the bed, spread her legs and watched the reflection of her pink clitoris in the dresser mirror as she worked her body into a quivering mass while visions of a man's gentle face overpowered her mind. After she reached orgasm, Shelly curled up in the fetal position and though; 'now, I can never confess to her.'

Three weeks later Shelly made a conscience decision to buy a new car. Her old clunker was like an old dog and she was getting tired of watching the old animal suffer, not to mention spending money on everything from tires to batteries to fan belts, to water pumps, to starters, to brakes and a list so long she could have bought a new car with all the money she tossed at the old hunk of junk. Shelly concluded the old car was like a giant hole in the pavement where she tossed a ton of money and it was time to put the old girl down.

Being a frugal woman, Shelly had saved enough cash she thought would be sufficient to purchase a car without having to go into debt. She decided Sunday would be a good day to poke around a car lot and she thought if she looked a tad sexy she could use it to her advantage. She dressed in a white cowl neck top over a white front latch bra, a black miniskirt without panties and her favorite black and white heels then she grabbed her matching clutch purse, scanned her body in the mirror, kissed her sleeping mother goodbye then drove off to look at new cars and maybe return home driving a shinny new carriage hoping the change would make her feel renewed.

When she pulled the old car into the parking area of Miller's Auto & Service Garage and shut the ignition off, as usual, the engine started dieseling. A young salesman cautiously approached the driver's side window and looked at Shelly, then he said calmly, "It'll stop, eventually," as he scanned the gorgeous cleavage before his eyes.

"Oh I know, it does this a lot, it's embarrassing," offered Shelly as she looked up at the guy's face gazing at her chest.

"Looking to trade her in?" asked the young man as he scanned Shelly's pure white shapely thighs.

"Yeah ... I'm thinking, it's time, I can't handle this any more, it's a financial nightmare," said Shelly as she looked forward waiting for the engine to stop clunking.

Suddenly the young man grabbed the door handle and opened the door. Shelly wasn't prepared or cared to have a man look down her blouse, but all she could think about was how she could exit the car without the guy looking up her miniskirt as well. Shelly didn't know what to do other than sit still while tapping the steering wheel and listen to the clunking engine. The young man sensed he was intruding on Shelly's space and he backed away. When Shelly was assured the guy couldn't catch a glimpse of her pubic hair she twisted in the seat, exited the car, stood erect, smoothed the cloth of her skirt then pulled her long black hair to one side of her face. In a few seconds the car's engine stopped dieseling.

"Good grief," said Shelly as she clutched her purse, "It's never done this ... that long before." Then she looked at the young man's face. He was looking at Shelly's chest like a dog getting ready to mount a bitch and she felt uncomfortable being in his presence. She decided she needed to rid herself of the pervert so she blurted out, "I'm here to look at cars, Bucko, not have some kid gawk at my tits in the middle of a car lot ...okay!"

"Sorry miss ... I am very sorry ... why don't you start over there, the cars are lined up in order of their cost, with the least expensive at this end and the most expensive closest to the showroom, I'll leave it to you, when your ready just came in and I can help you," offered the young man.

"Thanks, so much," quipped Shelly facetiously then she spun around and started sashaying toward a compact red sedan.

The young man simply stood numbly and watched as Shelly's heels clicked the pavement and her tight buttocks barely bounced as she sashayed across the pavement. "Jesus ... that is one beautiful, but fucked up woman," the young man whispered under his breath.

Shelly began reading the sticker of each car until she came to a dark blue convertible with a white top. She stepped closer to the window and peeked into the interior then she read the sticker, "Holy fuck, that much?" she said aloud. When she realized she had nearly yelled the words she cupped her mouth and looked into the interior of the car again.

"White? ... That would be a mess in twenty seconds," whispered Shelly.

In the meantime, the salesmen inside the showroom were gazing through the glass like fish waiting to be fed. It was a rare occasion to have a young attractive woman dressed in clothing fit for an evening at a club prance around the lot and the men were enjoying the view immensely. When Shelly turned toward the showroom the gawking men turned their backs to the glass. The scene was so comical the female receptionist started to giggle. When Shelly started to sashay toward the entrance doors like a runway model, the young man stepped toward the doors. Suddenly an older man stepped in front of the young man and said with a firm voice, "I'll handle this Jake."

When Shelly saw what was happening behind the glass doors she felt relieved the young man was being replaced. As soon as Shelly was close enough to the door, the man pushed the door open so Shelly didn't have to break her stride. When she stepped over the threshold, the man released the door and offered his hand.

"Bob Miller ... pleased to meet you." He said with a low gruff voice.

Shelly reached for the man's massive hand thinking it would crush hers, but when their hands met, she felt warmth and gentleness.

"Shelly," she said softly as she looked into the man's sky blue eyes.

The man gracefully released Shelly's hand then asked in a soft but gruff voice, "it's rare for this place to suddenly become silent ... see anything out there you like?"

Shelly took the opportunity to add a little levity and she looked at the receptionist and said with a quick snap, "No I didn't ... but I like that desk over there ... how much you want for it?" asked Shelly as she pointed to the receptionist's desk.

The man didn't know what to say at first then he started to chuckle. "That old thing has been here since I opened this place, I simply couldn't part with it."

Shelly scanned the old desk carefully then said as she clutched her purse with both hands over her mound, "It's a partner's desk actually, a Derby, maybe ... circa 1932."

"Oh ... antique dealer huh?" asked the man as he stood next to Shelly inhaling her perfume.

"Accountant," corrected Shelly as she watched the receptionist speak to a tall guy in a black business suit. "You said Miller, that's the name on the sign out there, is this dealership yours?" asked Shelly as she looked around the massive showroom.

"Yes it is miss ... been here thirty, one, years," said the man proudly.

"That's a long time ... funny, I've lived here all my life and I've never noticed this place ... probably because I never felt the need to give anybody more money than a new car is worth," offered Shelly as she turned to face the man.

"Where do you work?" asked the man as he pointed to one of the salesmen directing the man to do something with a hand signal known only to insiders.

"Westside Medical," answered Shelly as she scanned a maroon convertible glistening under the showroom spotlights.

"I've known the owner for years, great guy, buys a caddy coupe from me every even year and a caddy SUV every odd year, same color, black, same models, same accessories, good customer, they don't come better than Peter, good looking guy too, ever meet him miss?" said the man as his facial expression turned to a grin.

"Once," said Shelly as she felt her face blush.

Shelly didn't buy a car that day for three reasons. She thought them too expensive, she figured she needed to gain more insight on how to deal with a crook, and, a person she had been involved with was a regular customer. She went home and baked a cake for her mother, showered, watched TV then went to bed early in anticipation of her next day at Westside Medical.

Friday arrived so fast Shelly didn't have the time to breathe. Her excitement level was so high it was obvious to Mary and Mary had to say something. "Have a date this weekend?" asked Mary as she placed a book on the shelf and waited for Shelly's answer.

Shelly simply glared at the woman as if she was signaling a 'none of your business' gaze, then suddenly the desk phone ran and Shelly picked up the receiver. "This is Shelly."

"Hey Shell ... Connie ... whatcha doing this weekend?" said the frisky voice in the speaker.

"Hey girl ... tell ya after work," said Shelly softly.

"Got it," said Connie, then Shelly hung up the phone and looked at her computer monitor.

Shelly sensed Mary was staring a hole through her but she didn't look away from the monitor. The program she was working on suddenly seemed like a foreign language and Shelly knew her thoughts were about Peter rather than how much the bottom line was last month. After a few moments of dreaming about Peter's buttocks, Shelly exhaled but when Shelly turned her head, Mary was standing next to her looking down.

"Shit, you scared the crap out of me," said Shelly as she placed her right hand on her left breast.

"I didn't mean to ... sorry, just want to borrow your stapler, I can't find mine," said Mary as she stood looking down at Shelly's cleavage while thinking she wished she had a pair of breasts as beautiful.

Shelly couldn't stop watching the wall clock and time felt as though it was standing still. When the second, minute and hour hands where positioned at 5 o'clock, Shelly jumped up, grabbed her purse and dashed out of the glass prison in a rush.

When she reached the parking lot Shelly always giggled at the cars quickly backing out of spaces, people jabbering and joking, arms waving and all faces had smiles. Shelly giggled a little and said to herself. "Yup ... this is Friday," then Shelly heard Connie in the background yell, "Shell, wait up!"

As Connie walked briskly toward Shelly she suddenly had a strange feeling. Connie felt as though she wasn't going to be around Westside for long, then she thought, no, Shelly isn't going to be around Westside for long. As Connie became closer to Shelly, the feeling of their friendship deepened. When Connie was a step away from Shelly she reached out and the girls embraced like dance partners. When they released, Connie asked in a little girl's voice, "So what's up this weekend, huh?"

Shelly exhaled then took a breath, "nothing, whatcha wanna do girl?" said Shelly while she exhaled again.