All Comments on 'Living with the Lie'

Same old long winded story.

but compared to the usual trash posted in LW this is a refreshing change. Hope you stick around a little longer Stang, the pickings in this category are poor. Seems like authors have a different take on the meaning of good "erotica". 5*

Great story as usual Stanstar06! I have no sympathy for Dean and Miranda..welllllll I waver a bit there. But the child has to be Gerry's and the relationship with Laci has too much fire to be denied. So Gerry and Laci becoming permanent needs to happen and I don't normally advocate poly, but this is a perfect setup for it...thas right Gerry needs two wifes...hoo boy gonna give that boy indigestion :)

The story started out alright but then for some reason you thought you had to be cute with the stupid names........so stupid I quit reading after the first page....

You wasted your time writing this long and boring story. Aren't you capable of telling a story in 5 or 6 pages at the most. I gave 1* and that's more than it deserved.

The reality is that your a good writer with no sense of plot. This was neither entertaining nor enjoyable. You made the villain into the hero and the victim into the villain and for what? To justify a characters actions that were selfish in the extreme.

Honestly, I quit reading because I couldn't identify with anyone of your characters and indifference is what kills this story.

...convoluted yes, but hell no crap! Actually great! I love the fact that your stories are always somehow twisted. They remind me of a perverted Tarantino-ish look at plausible realities.

Truly enjoyed it, and the rest of your stories! Don't listen to the naysayers!

Good job!

your tale was ok. compared with most other tales on this site you are in the top of

the class of writers. this sight has really bad tales of late. their tales seem to be written by high school drop outs.

Very different from your usual tale,SS. Where is the pathetically stupid cheating wife?

I should not mock like that, it was a great story. I was a bit disapointed by Gerry's giving in to Laci. Maybe it is the heroic self-control your male 'victims' usually show but it was a little letdown to see him succumb. I was surprised to like all the females in this story. Even Laci I could forgive given her hurt. I doubt anyone could like Dean.

Could you lighten up with the stupid names though?

I could see a continuation of this. I would like Luci to finally find some real happiness and for Mirand to put her doubts behind her. I almost suspect you have one in mind though it isn't your normal fare either. I could see something happening to the daughter that needed something from a close relative(bone marrow, kidney that sort of thing) and Luci coming to Miranda and confessing before begging for help to save the daughter. Miranda And Luci both find out the others secret and conspire to share Gerry and his daughter. With Gerry being the kind of guy he is, they know he would not jump at the chance since he would feel it was wrong but figure they could ease him into it. You can just kill off Dean or send him packing, he was an ass and if you add some group sex, no one will miss him. You could skip all the sex and he still might not be missed.

Thanks fro a great story.

gerry louis reference, can someone explain? I have to say i always look forward to reading your stories even if i dont always agree with the plot, but this was a good one. 4 stars- wife was a different element then what we ususally see and the husband is the one who actually cheated on the marriage.

This is one of the best stories you've ever submitted. Love the complexity of the characters and that everyone has a flaw and a secret

Google Jerry Lewis

The hand of Barney-R. Sad.

"Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer."- Vito Corleone, "The Godfather". I wasn't able to finish this story. The first 5 pages were too cliched, then I noticed I wasn't even half way through. Not one of your best, Stang.

the rules should be settled before the shuffle and the strategy begins, TK U MLJ LV NV

You've gone in a new direction with the last 2 stories. The "hero" is no longer a simple squeaky clean guy. Every character has some flaws and the reconciliations come with some secrets that are not revealed and characters having to make some sort of "sacrifice" to be content.

I enjoy the differences but maybe some of the other readers still want to see the typical BTB with the hero finding a new true love. Kudos for trying to try new types of tales.

Whenever I read a story... I always wonder what I would do in the main character's position. Possibly why I avoid loving spouse stories. Hurts a bit to read them. =-) I enjoyed the flawed characters. To answer your question I did find someone to root for and it was Gerry. Now as to the content of the story...

Rarely do I read a story that has such an open and yet satisfying ending. I neither disliked it or liked it. It was what it was. Four people put into a bad situation by events and because of their own choices have to deal with consequences brought on by their actions. All are fallible and all are flawed. The question comes in when they begin to change. For all people change and the status quo will alter with it.

I would be interested in seeing where you take things if you care to continue this little novella of yours. As it is by itself, it was thought provoking/annoying/and darkly enjoyable. I felt like a thirsty man wanting water and instead got flat ginger ale. I got a drink but it didn't quite satisfying my thirst.

A very good experiment for you Star. I am interested in reading your future works.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

Barney Fife

Thanks

The phone conversation with the mother-in-law was worth a five on it's own.

can you edit this to say where the other story is located because I have no clue and would like to read it.

Didn't really like any of the characters and the story was rather tedious.

I thought I knew where you were pointing us for the alternative version(SOL) but find I guesssed wrong. Or the story is being delayed.

Alas, no joy in Mudville.

Gerry was listening to talk radio. It seemed to be a show about sports. The hosts were debating the odds of the Lions winning or even going to the Super Bowl.

Same odds as a Snow Blizzard in Miami in June.

BUt story gets a 5**

The lied to husband and the cheated on wife end up cucking their dishonest and cheating spouses.

The part I really don't get is Dean's mother. She's smart enough to instantly assess the situation she sees and take charge of the solution, and she's not reluctant to whack her son on his head when he acts especially stupid, so how did he grow up to be the snake that he is? She must not have hit him enough when he was a kid.

A good outing. Thanks for not having Female #1 become absolutely crazy post getting caught. You even took a tongue in cheek variant of your standard trope, where Female #1 listens to utterly stupid plan of the Obviously Inferior Male after getting caught, and somehow continues to sleep with him thinking this will lead to reconciliation.

It's good when writers can poke fun at their own cliches.

You really spun things around this time with the twist of there being no cheating by Female #1 and OIM, but instead by MustangMan and Female #2. More, other than the OIM, you had some reasonably complex and flawed people that still had their irrationalities but were more recognizable as people. Feel bad for Laci though, she's the one stuck in a crap marriage and ever pining for the fellow she can't have. Everyone else essentially gets a satisfactory end. Poor gal. Needs to step up and get that divorce. That isn't the home to raise a child in.

Thanks for the read.

Moral ambiguity, but done with the Stangstar06 copyrighted Boys' Life wide eyed sincerity.

Not sure how I take it - the story was certainly worthy, but I think some self consciousness on the part of the protagonists, not talking to the forth wall, might be good. This one tried for it, but using the long internal soliloquies justifying their individual points was a bit clunky a writing tool.

Not sure how else to do it, given the requirements of space... perhaps humor on the part of the characters, directed both at the situation and themselves?

Anyway, glad to see this one, and look forward to the next.

Green-something

Gerry had tried to get me to have breast implants several times. I had refused.

Gerry let out a gasp as he saw her. His eyes bugged out of his head. He'd completely forgotten about our argument

Good story. It missed being a great one because of the name errors. Well, that and the cheating and lying. I know that this story is much more true life than most other stories on here, but for me having the two less likely to cheat characters cheat was a twist to the story I personally could have lived without. That does not make the story a bad one or the author a bad writer, just means that I did not like it as much as I have other stories by the author.

A very long story. I gave it a five because the author deserves something for the effort, and it was a good story. Jeez... War and Peace with sex.

Both of the women seem to actually be nice characters and in lieu of killing off one of the two women why not just say "fuck it" and give him both. It's something I don't remember you doing for and it would probably be an interesting read.

Also, I'm not gonna be a dick and pretend that you confusing the names a few times ruined the story or anything like that, but it was somewhat distracting.

I appreciate the humour and exercise in having to live with the lie. But the web of lies is so large because each one of them is hiding their own little secret. You have concocted the perfect scenario for an explosive sequel.

when comedy legends fade into the sunset.

Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis were huge in their day. Household names is an understatement. When they split up and Deano had his own variety show and ran with the rat pack, Jerry was sidelined to a once a year telethon. Name recognition gone, (except for in France).

“After a couple of years together, it just seemed that going with the flow was the easiest thing.” – She only has herself to blame if she goes against her own instincts just because it’s “easier”.

“How the hell was making Gerry jealous going to help my marriage?” – Especially when he was ALREADY jealous!

“Laci, on the other hand should have been with someone like Gerry.” – Well, maybe she WOULD have been, if you didn’t decide that YOU deserved to have her!

Not that he deserves it, but why doesn’t Laci try to teach Dean how to make love to her? He’s too full of himself to wonder where SHE learned it, LOL!

It's too bad that it would undeservedly hurt Miranda, but it would be nice to see Gerry and Laci together! In some of the more "out there" stories I guess he could have ended up with both!

I somewhat disagree that Gerry wasn't "squeaky clean".

Yes, he cheated, but he BELIEVED his wife had cheated, and had a chance with the LOVE of his wife, an almost impossible to resist situation!

Neither of these first wives were psychotic, which is new territory for The Stangster. In fact, in spite of their flaws, I liked both of the female characters. Well done once again!

Totally CRAP 1*

The large number of possible endings keeps the tension til the end. There were more editing problems in this one but I'm sure you'll get that sorted out. (Character names, who vs. Whom, and ju as t wrong words). Your writing is always a good read!

13 pages and couldn't keep the name of the characters straight ?... The lack of editing triggered a migraine. Grammar errors, spelling errors--just ugh! I read both versions and to me they were both the same. I'm really confused as to why 13 chapters was needed for this? I found the story also a bit of a bore and very weird. People in a LOVING marriage don't knock someone else up and don't say anything; yet proclaims to love their spouse.. I know it's fiction but dang---WTF?! I usually LOVE your long stories but 4 chapters would've been enough. Fire that incompetent ass editor... I'm giving this ⭐️

Much better...that's not to say this ending sucks...just incomplete. The other is more in the SS06 tradition.

so he just watched video where his wife and 'arch nemesis' conned him into thinking they had an affair, just to punish him.

and then the lying wench tells him she got pregnant by a married man,

aborted it , never told him about it before now,

set her sights on ''winning his love'' and sought dean's help to do so.

BUT, in spite of all that and regardless of what the blackmailer says, she never had sex with dean. "i swear".

really?

no one is that gullible.

otherwise i liked it,

except for the character names.

you keep writing,

i'll keep reading.

thanks.

Your story starts out with gerry going over to help miranda paint her room and move in. They then go to a movie and start dating.

Then later she goes with some pickup to a party just so she can meet him. It jest aint right i tell you.

"I was always attracted to the boys that were nicer. But somehow they never asked me out. It was always the more aggressive ones who asked me out."

Hello! It's the 21st Century, if the nicer guys you were attracted to were too shy to ask you out, YOU can ask THEM out!

The repetitive nature of telling the story from four different points of view just got old. And only rarely did a different persons point of view add to the story. It became obvious at the end why you had sectioned the story up like you did. That way you could have each person living their particular lie. But the fact that none of them were particularly likeable characters (Gerry had his moments) and that they are living these lies just didn't make for a good read. At the end it would have made a better fairy tale story if Gerry and Laci ended up together. After all, at some point Gerry finds out that Miranda has been lying to him from the get go. How is that going to make him feel? Too long and a bad ending equals a "2" for this story.

"Any and every time I had suggested going out with someone else, just to try it, Dean had flipped out." - So what? You weren't married, if you wanted to date others, you tell Dean that you were either going to be non-exclusive or you were breaking up. If he doesn't like it, tough!

Stang gave you a 5 as I liked the overall story but this one could have used a reread or editor. Lots of wrong names used at odd times like calling dean gerry and vice versa. Good story and look forward to the next one. Also your love of putting a Mustang in every story cracks me up, but I get it everyone has their passions in life.

Thanks for sharing

This version is pretty good but I think the other one is much better. I guess you really do enjoy the "name game" using the various celebrity names. I find it distracting since I'm a poster child for ADD and every time I read one of them I flash on something associated with that person. Now the Mustangs are more fun though. Every time I read about one of them I think about those Ford headlights getting smaller in my rear view mirror. Damn good story line with four imperfect people that had their secrets and aren't too much over the top. Well done.

A good story...and as usual of SS06, dealing with a lot of conflicted feelings...4*

Where do I find the other version?

The celebrity names are ridiculous and made it impossible to go beyond the first half of page one. 1 star only because I couldn't give it a zero.

This was a little different just like you said it would be. I appreciate your stories and the thought you put into them. I always wait for the next and hope they keep on coming. Thank you

Storiesonline.net

And unless I missed something, as I was somewhat skimming, the other story simply continues on, there aren't any other differences. Even the mistakes are the same!

This seems unfinished. But 4* anyway. Usually I give you 5.

naming characters after famous people almost to poor to comment on , you are so much better than this rambling nonsense.

Don't know what people want, they come on a free site, and read for free an effort put on for free by an author edited for free by a volunteer editor and they complain about nit picky stuff. Lighten up folks. You complain because no one writes good stuff anymore and you wonder why. I'm surprised anyone submits here anymore unless they like abuse. So the story had some mechanical errors in it. Don't like them then how about volunteering to be an editor and help the authors out.

As to the story, a story is like a road trip. It has a beginning, the travel and an end at the destination. If the author makes you enjoy the trip then he has been successful. SS06 has accomplished that goal here . This story was an attempt to break out of his normal style and he accomplished it very well. There are a lot of little twist in it that if you are scan reading you might miss and they are part of the enjoyment. Personally, I get a kick out of the names he chooses and it is as much a trademark of his writing as the Mustang. I've read both versions and like both with the SOL being more complete.

Personally, I think this one ranks as one of his best yet.

Really good arc to the story. Good character dev. Not generally following any of the usual formulas common on Lit or even in your own stories. Alternating POV is seldom done as effectively as here. Overall, a nice change of pace. There was even an undercurrent of humor leavening the twists and turns.

... Definitely your best in a while.

....thank you!

name dropper in this one but it's your sense of humor. Scotty

Just wanted to say this was a great read! You really broke out of your formula and did something very new, not just for you but for the LW section in general. I love that your hero messed up but still loved his wife. I love that he ended up with both gals. The only thing I was sad about was Miranda's death. I'm not big into poly relationships but I would have been happy for the three of them to end up living happily ever after. Good character development, good story arc, snappy dialog...whats not to like!

Nice job.

you seem to have a problem keeping the names straight. Several times you mixed then up and it's confusing. Do you read what you write?

Reads like it was written by a fourteen-year-old.

I am so glad you are still writing, and writing fun to read things to boot. Loved the dynamics- Dean and Miranda were jealous whack jobs, but when I heard how she landscaped and decorated their house I liked her more. Gerry is the classic real nice guy. Laci is the most interesting person, and I would find it hard for her to stay married to Dean just to hang around Gerry a lot. Living in a sham marriage while watching a real loving one would be too much to bear. Regardless, a fun story- keep it up!

You always leave me smiling.

Missed your stories... liked the other ending better

Long one Mr stang ... sure like it when our good guy wins, and good girl in this story. And, just for shuts and giggles our hero knocks up both babe's, ass fuck her in the bonus round, makes up for all the cuck krap mudding the water of LW. Can u shut off comments from anonymous? They are far too often to dumb to share their limited thoughts with the rest of us.

Including this one! But yeah I think your question at THE END? Deserves a NO!

It should not be the end. Not being able to have kids is a HUGE lie and while I like Miranda, I think she is being cruel to keep her husband thinkng about children.

Gave it 5*. But hope there is a part 2!

@ ramonbrook

Read the SoL version, it continues a good deal onward's from where this one ends.

I enjoyed the story but there were a couple of times you mixed up the guys names (used Dean's when it should have been Gerry's). Also you spelled Gerry's name as Jerry once or twice..

I forgot to mention in my comments previously ...."It's called, "Not your father's root beer." I nearly fell off my chair laughing!!! I LOVE THIS BEER! I too give it plugs whenever I can. I love craft beers but I'm a Root Beer fiend and let me tell you, if you. Like root beer you will love this beer.

This is just not the end. Not especially your kind of story the hero doesn't have a cheating wife who is destroyed, the moron gets a good girl.

Miranda's lie is too big, she has to slip and Gerry has to get rid of her and get Laci for the end to be complete.

You are very... very good.... and the character laci is one of the best I've read in quite a while... she was very well fleshed out (no pun intended) lol. And her musings were a hoot... and some of your colloquilisms... "I didn't give a bubbly fart" lmao. Just a great read... thanx

is a cheater barring Miranda. Who would have thunk it?

Strange that no one calls Gerry on his infidelity because he THOUGHT Miranda had cheated on him with Dean. When a wife does it everyone howls BTB.

When first we practice to deceive (Sir Walter Scott). Another good story SS06! You kept the intrigue going throughout as I tried to figure how you planned to end this complexity. I enjoyed it, though some parts were a bit fantastical. Fun characters with an interesting theme and a good plot and finish for this segment!

This “segment” you ask? I don’t think this story is complete. While all four can live with their lie, it seems a second installment should be added to wrap up this tale. Perhaps titled’ “Discovering the Truth” or "Uncovering the Lies"?

Thanks for the fun read and please keep writing!!

You're a maestro with your stories, i'm a HUGE fan, one of your many masterpieces, the way you give enough detail and insight on your characters to make your readers feel like they are the characters yet not to much to drag the story out to boredom is just amazing, your detail placement and story arrangement keeps me fully engulfed and intrigued throughout my reading, and how your stories have so many spins and turns is mind blowing, its crazy how you can write so many stories in the same category yet none of your stories seem the same nor your plots repetitive, your a writing genius, keep up your great works and keep them coming

Just one more in an endless series of identical stories from the self styled "star," endless pompous verbosity. God this is boring.

I agree with aptonthe503, as there should be a sequel to this story.

For me the story plot line would be Dean gets serve divorce papers, Laci moves into Gerry's and Miranda's jome. All three raise the bady and Miranda confresses to not being albe to conceive children. So she asks Laci to sleep with her husband. Both woman share Gerry and eventually each other.

Now that would be a hot story !

I like TornadoTye's idea about discovering the truth. The good win and Dean gets shit on.

AFTER ALL THIS TIME YOU NOR YOUR EDITOR CAN KEEP YOUR CHARACTER'S NAMES STRAIGHT!!! YOU HAVE TRULY MASTERED THE ART OF WRITING THE SAME STORY OVER & OVER & OVER.......

This is Alphabet reader. Let me jump on the sequel band wagon. Write it. You are awesome. Do work on the editing though. A lot of mix ups with Gerry and Dean.

Where are the BTB's berating the cheaters in this story? Lacie and Gerry are the cheaters here and get nothing but praise. Dean requires no comment as he is an inveterate cheater and arsehole. Although she made some stupid choices Mianda is the only non cheater in the story and doesn't deserve the treatment she gets from Gerry on his return.

The town's goody two shoes Gerry to me is the second worst character, slightly behind Dean. He must have seen that Miranda was not in a compromising situation in the office but runs away without looking for an explanation and thinking the worst even though he has no evidence. He then cheats, lies, fathers a child (I think he knows from what Lacie said in the epilogue) and lies again. And let's be straight here - lying by omission is still a lie. To make it worse this is the second time he ran away without asking. Remember earlier he couldn't handle it when Miranda stammered when asked about Dean. He didn't wait for the the explanation - just ran away thinking the worst and wallowed in his own self pity. Again there was no great sin committed (I just blew him off) AND it was before they had even met.

He is as bad as Dean. Dean repeatedly cheats on his wife - Gerry cheats on his wife and cheats on the truth by not seeking it out.

Dean is a gigantic as asshole, there are two thing wrong with this story, for one Gerry wanting to be friends with him, there's nice, stupidly nice, and then just plain stupid.

The second is Laci staying with him.

I see an obvious sequel...

Sometime after the baby is born Dean discovers the baby cannot be his (baby's blood type) and slaps/beats Laci and threatens the baby. Gerry knowing the baby is his cannot tolerate the threat to Laci and his daughter. Gerry/Laci come clean on their weekend that only occurred due to Dean/Randa willfully and deceitful trickery of cheating.

Randa sees Gerry needs to be a daddy, fesses up to her biggest lie. Randa acquiesces to share Gerry & home with Laci/daughter if she can remain in his life. Gerry accepts this sharing to insure the safety of Laci/daughter and to insure his daughter has a good life. Since Randa cannot have kids - she shares Laci with Gerry to grow a bigger family - a win-win-win & lose for Dean. Mean while Dean's continuous womanizing earns him serious STD/HIV and he dies painfully.

[The story needs some editing - you mixed up characters names a few times & fat fingered a few to many words goofing up you intended grammar.]

I hate cheaters

Please make a second one to this, it would be amazing if dean's mother supported laci's decision to live and love Gerry. I would also like to see randa and laci become sister wives, like in the Hindu and African cultures. Where one man can have more than one wife.

Hi Peoples my wish for part two is Laci & Gerry leave their lying cheating spouses and get married and have a whole lot of Kids? The other two find some other fool around town who will have them? Please STANG STAR 06 write your sequel and I am sure you have your own idea to the finish? .............Love you all GREG! BYE! Oh 100 % of READING ENJOYMENT! BYE.

There is more to the story on sol. For those wanting a sequel.

I kept hoping Gerry would be rid of Miranda and hook up with lacist. Not sure why I've never seen this before but I'm glad I found it.

Saxon Hart

Anon posted more on SOL?

what is sol?

Storiesonlinedotnet

At some point Miranda has to notice the looks between Laci and Gerry... And she's going to eventually finds herself having to ask Laci, "You love my husband, don't you?"

Laci will likely freeze up for just a moment too long...

And when their daughter grows old enough that his mom being over one day and seeing them together is like "Damn, if I didn't know better..." And Miranda will finally do two plus two and then actually ask him...

By then, both women will likely know that he loves both of them and Miranda will realize telling him she can't have kids has reached a now or never moment....

Then he can end up living with both, Laci can finally divorce Dean, and they can work on getting some brothers and sisters for their first daughter...

http://storiesonline.net/s/12639/living-with-the-lie?page=5

It'll take but a few months and dean will notice the resemblances of daughteer and gerry, he'll do some planning and get dna test send info to deans wife all their family and friends. Deans wife would be totally humiliated and shunned and well gerry and mirandas marriage would tank big time, at end of all this Dean will be lauphing his arse off watching his evil wife and friend lives get fucked up and they sure deserve it.

You RAAC cunts really piss me off. Fuck yourself with your Mustang's exhaust

The rest of the story is at: http://storiesonline.net/s/12639/living-with-the-l ie?page=5

Enjoyable but I just felt it was too long especially after I learned I had to go to the above website to read the final conclusion.

13 pages and still had another page or 2 on the other site! A little editing needed to shorten the story up and keep in from droning on.

Dean Martin? Gerry Louis? Jim Nabors? I am OUT! What ridiculousness!

Just for an unjustifiable RAAC situation. What a fucking joke. One star

One the very rare StangStar stories that I didn't like at all. Very rare.