Living with the Lie

"It looks different here," I said. "Where are we?"

"Shrewsbury," he said.

"Shrewsbury ... I've never heard of a Shrewsbury in Michigan or Ohio either for that matter," I said.

"Me neither," he smirked. "Shrewsbury is in Ontario, Laci. We're in Canada. My dad has a house up here that he comes to for fishing. I haven't been up here since I was in my mid teens. One of the neighbors up here has a grass cutting arrangement with my dad. He's going to give us the keys."

The mustang suddenly seemed to get angry. I noticed that Gerry had slowed down to a more normal, less Uhm ... Exhilarating speed. It seemed funny to me that the car seemed to like driving faster.

We drove into the parking lot surrounding a moderate sized convenience store. It seemed to be a small grocery store. I got out of the car and followed Gerry. The inside of the store was well organized and stocked. We bought enough food to last us for a few days as well as snacks and comfort foods. We also bought an assortment of soft drinks and juice. I noticed that although we bought a lot of soda, Gerry didn't buy any beer or alcohol of any type.

We loaded the food in the back seat of the car, on top of the bags we'd put there. I missed my car. It wasn't as fast or as pretty as Gerry's Mustang, but it had a lot more room and probably had a more comfortable ride as well. I'm sure Gerry would have claimed that his car had more horsepower and was faster, but my ass had felt every bump and crevice on the road.

The drive from the store to the house was very short. And the house was nice. We unloaded the food and put it away. But before I could even begin to bring up our issues, Gerry started talking.

"Lace, we're both tired," he began. "There are two bedrooms in the back of the house. I'll take the one on the left. It's bigger, but the bed isn't as comfortable. We'll have plenty of time to talk in the morning."

"Uh uh!" I said. "As tired as she is, this girl needs a shower first." I headed towards the bathroom while glancing at him. I laughed when I noticed that he looked as nervous as if I'd tried to get him to shower with me. It was funny that someone who'd supposedly been crushing on me for a long period of time seemingly didn't want to see me naked.

The place must've been empty for a while because it took a while for the water heater to make hot water. But once it did, I had to admit that the shower was better than the one at my condo. I just stood there and let the water wash all of my troubles away. Then I remembered that all of my clothes were still in the car. We had only unpacked the food to keep it from spoiling.

I wrapped myself in a towel and went towards the front door. The suitcases were in the living room. Gerry had brought them in.

I dropped the towel and put on fresh panties and a bra. I found and put on a pair of comfortable sweats and one of my favorite t-shirts.

"Do you always change clothes out where anyone can see you?" asked Gerry.

"I knew you wouldn't do anything rude," I told him. "And if you wanted to see me ... Who cares? Besides, anything I have, your wife has more of and probably in better shape."

"You're both beautiful," he said. "But she was ..."

"She was what?" I asked. "Built like a brick shit house? I've heard lots of guys say that. One of them was the asshole I was married to. Another one they said was "sex on two legs." It's the same old story, Gerry. You men have two types of ideal women. There's the pristine, untouchable, fairy princess that you all want to marry. And the low down, dirty, sexy whore that you all want to fuck.

I can be sexy as hell, but no one ever gives me the chance to. And your wife is really pretty, but no one ever notices it. If she's supposed to be such a sex goddess, why the hell hasn't she fucked anybody except you, until now?"

He looked at me but he didn't say anything. I could tell that he was thinking about what I'd said though. "Dean is supposed to be the town badass," I continued. "And you're the nice guy. He didn't seem to be such a badass and you weren't being very nice when you kicked his ass last night. It's really funny, we're all stuck in these roles that everyone expects us to live up to. But now we've all shattered them.

Dean got his ass kicked. You beat the shit out of someone. Miranda got her heart broken ..."

"Yeah, everyone broke out of their mold except you, Lace," he said.

"Oh yeah, Honey," I told him. "Before we leave here, I'm going to fuck your brains out." The look of shock on his face made me laugh out loud. "Good night, Ger," I said sweetly.

The bed was really comfortable, but I still couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned for a while and then decided to go and see if Gerry was awake and wanted to talk. He wasn't awake. But being near him made me feel a lot more relaxed. So I got into bed with him. It felt, strange and a little bit naughty. But at the same time I felt really good. I felt protected and warm. It was a good feeling. Except for my father, when I was very young I had never been in a bed with any man other than Dean. It didn't take very long before I was sound asleep.

* * * * * *

Miranda

"You have to go home, Miranda," he said. "You can't stay here. I'm locking the place up."

I was sitting in Porky's office crying my eyes out. It was after midnight and I had been crying and thinking the whole night. Truthfully, I was afraid to go home.

"I'm scared Porky," I said. He laughed,

"Miranda, I've known you ever since you came to this town," he said. "But I've known Gerry for all of his God Damned life. I doubt if that man has ever raised his voice to you let alone a hand. You have nothing to be afraid of. Gerry's love for you is absolute."

"Except that he thinks ... Porky, I've always been built like this," I said. "When I was younger it got me in a lot of trouble before I really understood it. Men see me and only think of one thing. It's like the only thing I'm good for is fucking. They just want to pound the shit out of me and then tell all of their friends they've had me. I'm just a body to them. I don't have a brain, a personality, or any feelings.

Gerry is the only one who's ever treated me differently. Gerry loves me. And I love him. He has never fucked me!"

"Miranda, I think you're lying," he laughed. "I remember lots of times when the two of you barely got out of the bar with your clothes still on. And other times when the two of you were all over each other so hot and heavy that I thought you were going to go at it in one of those booths back there. I have trouble believing you."

"I didn't say we've never had sex," I laughed. "Gerry makes love to me. It is sweet and wonderful and warm and caring. He makes me feel so good that I could explode. It's not just fucking."

"So go on home, Miranda," he said. "Go home and talk to him. Tell HIM how you feel. Sort this all out. You'll feel a lot better and so will he. The two of you belong together."

"Porky, I'm afraid that after tonight, he'll tell me that he wants me to go away. And that would kill me. I can take him being angry at me, as long as we're together. But I can't be without him," I said.

"Gerry's a really good guy, Miranda," he said. "You just need to give him some time and talk to him straight. But let me give you a warning. It's the same one someone should have given Dean. It's pretty hard to push Gerry over the line and into anger, but once he gets there ... It's pretty bad. So I don't really know why you did what you did in my office. Hell, I don't understand most things that women do. But looking at what it got Dean ... I wouldn't do it twice."

I got into my car then and drove home. As soon as I walked in the door, I knew that he wasn't home. Home ... Is that what this place was? Without Gerry in it, the house no longer seemed like home. It just seemed like a box to keep my stuff in.

I got into bed and turned on the TV. I wasn't really big on late night TV. But I figured I'd watch something until Gerry got home. All of the shows seemed to be the same. They were all bad copies of the tonight show. Maybe they were a bit more outrageous, in keeping with the times. But it was the same thing that Johnny Carson used to do when I was a kid. It was boring.

And suddenly my hair stood up. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed it. The table on Gerry's side of the bed was empty. It was never empty. His iPad was ALWAYS there. Sometimes he took it to work with him, but other than that the damned thing was always there. He could surf the Internet while we were in bed, or play that stupid racing game of his. It never failed, if we were watching one of Gerry's shows, the iPad was on the table. But as soon as we started watching one of mine, he picked it up.

And now it was gone. I jumped out of bed and opened the closet. Several of the suits that Gerry wore when he was forced to wear a suit to work, were gone. His favorite running shoes were also gone. I looked through his drawers and the story was the same. Most of his favorite things were gone. Gerry had left me.

I stood there stupidly, staring into the nearly empty drawers and the tears started to fall yet again. Apparently he had left all of the things that weren't essential behind. He left the clothes that he didn't absolutely need. He left the tools and electronics that he didn't absolutely need and he left me behind as well.

It hit me like a fist. As bad as the previous week had been with Gerry ignoring me, this was worse. My heart started beating faster and it felt as if I was having trouble breathing.

The phone on the table beside me started ringing at that moment. I picked it up immediately.

"Gerry, Honey, I'm sorry. I'll do whatever you want me to do. Please come home. I need y ..." I began.

"Oh fuck! This is bad. Please don't tell me your hubby is gone too," he said. "I was hoping that maybe he knew where Laci went. None of her friends has any idea where she is. All those bitches would say is that they were glad she finally got away from me. This is really bad. It looks like our plan backfired."

"You mean your plan, asshole," I spat.

"Yeah well, luckily for both of us, your modification to my plan will save us," he said.

"IF we can find them and explain it to them," I said.

"We need to work together on this," he told me.

"WE don't need to do shit," I hissed. "This part of WE wishes she had never seen you or your little Princess of a wife. One week ago, I was the happiest woman on the planet. My misery started out with your wife jumping up on stage and rubbing her tiny ass all over my husband while you were making goo goo eyes at that fat waitress. It's gone to hell ever since then. So stay the fuck away from me, thank you very much."

"So how are you going to find him without me?" he asked.

"I'll just call him," I said. "He has this magical device that allows me to contact him whenever I want, no matter where he is. I think they call it an iPhone."

"So has it worked for you so far?" he asked.

"I've been afraid to call him," I said.

"Well while you work your courage up, he's probably trying to find a divorce lawyer," he said. "And the only person who could help you will be busy working on his own plan."

"So what do you think I should do?" I asked.

"Well, I don't know about YOU... "he said. The smirk in his voice was so obvious that I wanted to reach through the phone line and slap the shit out of him."But we should go and talk to my mother in the morning."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because she was the last person to talk to them before we fucked everything up," he said. "She's also on very good terms with both of them, so we could get HER to call them. Unlike US, they probably won't hang up on her."

"Good idea," I said. "Why don't you call her first thing in the morning and we'll all meet somewhere for breakfast. How about the diner?"

"Sounds good," he said. "See you there at 8."

I wish I could say that I went to sleep, but sleep just wouldn't seem to come. I finally got out of our bed because it felt strange to be there without Gerry.

I was finally able to get comfortable on the sofa on the living room. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw stupid things that I had done. I know why the wedding vows say for better or for worse now. It's like algebra. The absolute value of worse is better. My life was good. It was great. By making sure that I kept my Gerry away from every other woman around us, I thought that I was making our life better. I thought it was a good thing. But like they say the opposite of good is better. Every time you try to make something better, you fuck it up and things are worse.

I walked into the diner at a couple of minutes after 8. The asshole was there, but so was his mom, so I had to put on my best behavior.

There was a striking resemblance between Dean and his mother. She was a nice looking woman and Dean, as big as he was, had almost feminine looking features. Perhaps that was why women ... Well... Some women found him so attractive. His charm was lost on me though.

Before moving to this town I'd met lots of assholes just like him. When I first moved here, I quickly found out that cities and towns are just like people. No matter how pretty they are, no matter how nice, every one of them has an asshole. And those assholes are all full of shit. Dean was in fact this town's asshole and to my regret, I'd met him before I got started with Gerry.

"So ... Dean says you guys are caught up in a misunderstanding," she said. That was all it took. The next thing I knew I was bawling my eyes out again. She quickly came around to my side of the table and hugged me again.

"We're out of luck Miranda," said Dean. "My mom doesn't want to get mixed up on our problems. She thinks that I somehow caused this."

"Her ... I'll help," she said. "Can't you see how broken up she is? You on the other hand Deano, I think you caused this somehow and if so, you deserve whatever you get."

"Mom, gimme a break," said Dean. "Seriously it was all a misunderstanding. I thought that someone had done something, but it turned out that they didn't. And what I wanted them to think I did was based on what I thought they did. But since I now know that they didn't do what I thought they did, it makes what they think I did even worse. It's especially bad because I was really going to do what they thought I did. But the person I wanted to do it with wouldn't do it with me, which is the only reason we have a chance to work any of this out, you see?"

"Yeah," she said. "I figured it all out after talking to a couple of people last night. You've been cheating on Laci again and she's finally tired of it. From what I understand, you screwed some waitress and she was acting a fool in Porky's flirting with you in front of your wife. And you didn't have the sense to either put a stop to it or better still leave. Laci ended up trying to show you that she could get some attention from other people if you wouldn't pay her any. From what I heard she got up on stage and shook her ass like crazy."

"Exactly," spat Dean. "I don't like my wife acting like a whore."

"Then maybe you should stop acting like one yourself," spat his mom. "You guys are supposed to be married. You're supposed to be partners. So whatever you can do, she can do. Besides you're a bigger idiot than I thought if you can't see that what she was doing was just a cry for attention. If she wanted to get revenge she wouldn't have done it out in public. She'd have just met some guy and took him to a hotel and fucked his brains out and never said a word. You know ... Like you do with your whores?"

"Buh! ... Nothing," said Dean changing his mind.

"Something else Dean," said his mom. "Who is the safest guy you can think of?"

"Huh?" asked Dean.

"Think about it," she said. "Most guys who have eyes can see how pretty Laci is. So if she was going to go around rubbing her ass against one of them ... Who would you pick? What guy can you think of that no matter how pretty Laci is, absolutely would not try anything with her, even with her giving him all of the signals in the world?"

She looked from him to me then.

"And that's where you came into this little drama, Miranda," she said. "Laci picked Gerry for two reasons. The first is because he's a really nice guy and he's always had a soft spot for her. But he's also always been Dean's best friend ..."

"Bullshit, Mom," said Dean. "We always competed for everything and we went after everything tooth and nail. We were never friends."

"That's because you were too stupid to see it," she said. "How many of your so-called friends did you get into fights with because they went after Laci?"

"Quite a few," spat Dean. "Guys just kind of get stupid over Laci. Some of them even told her about things I did. And others waited for us to get into an argument and made a run at her."

"And all of that time, Gerry had the biggest crush on her and never so much as spoke to her because he respected your relationship. To me ... That's a real friend. More of a friend than the assholes you were hanging out with that tried to stab you in the back whenever they could."

"I guess I never saw it that way," said Dean.

"And you ... Little Miss Tears ... My daughter in law has tried repeatedly to be friends with you. What gives?"

"She's so pretty and I thought ..." I began.

"Miranda you're not exactly a pig yourself, Honey," she said. "And more than anyone one else in this town or probably any other you two have so much in common. I mean your experiences with guys have to be really similar."

"I guess I thought that she only wanted to be friends with me so she could get closer to Gerry," I said.

"Miranda, I don't know you that well," she said. "But I like you a lot. So take what I'm about to tell you as coming from a place of love, okay?" I nodded.

"You're a fucking moron, Honey," she spat. "You act like don't know how much Gerry loves you. Think about it ... With my moronic son married off to Laci, Gerry became the hottest guy in town. At the time that he met you he could have had literally any unmarried woman in town. He picked you over all of them. Shit, he could have just waited a year for Dean to cheat on Laci and went after her. But he chose you. And everyone in this town pretty much knows everyone else's business ... I mean there are always going to be a few secrets, but they always come out. So I'm sure he knew when Dean started cheating, it was fairly common knowledge.

"Honey, if Gerry wanted Laci, he probably could have gotten her. But instead the two of you blossomed and got married. Laci has never been a threat to you except in your head."

"Back to you Dummy," she said to Dean. "Do you see why Laci was rubbing her ass all over Gerry? She wasn't doing it for him Deano. She was doing it because she wanted you to notice her. She was saying "Look at me Dean. I can be sexy too. And I CAN go out and get someone else!"

"Then why did they run off together?" I asked.

"First off, we don't know that they ran off together, yet," she said. "And secondly, we're hoping they did."

"Why the hell do we want that, Mom?" asked Dean. She slapped him on his forehead before either he or I saw her move.

"Haven't you been laying attention?" she asked angrily.

"You two are very close to losing the people you love because you don't think," she said. "They're both hurting. People who are in pain do really stupid things. If they're out there alone and vulnerable, the chances of them doing something stupid go up." She shook her head.

"Dean, you're cheated on Laci more than a few times," she said. "Maybe later on we need to get you some kind of therapy to figure out why that is. But for now, let's concentrate on getting her back.