Love Me, Please

"Leila...I'm gay."

Anna

She watched as her friend nearly chocked on her drink. "You're what? Why? I mean...how?"

Anna smiled sadly at that. "There is no how or why Leila. These are the cards I've been dealt with, it's not something I consciously chose...It's not like I woke up one day and said, Gee how can I make my life more miserable...oh I know...why don't I become a dyke!"

"But...but why didn't you tell me you nutcase...I can't...I've been terrible haven't I? I mean...I've been pushing you and trying for ages to hook you up...I feel terrible now..."

"I...I didn't tell because I was afraid...I am afraid...that I might...lose you..."

"What are you talking about? You're my bestest friend in the world. This is 2013, not the stone age. Who you choose to sleep with is no one's concern. YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND! No matter what! Now, I've been a shitty friend in the past and heavens only know what undue psychological pressure I put you under, but I'm sticking around sister. You're not getting rid of me that easily."

Anna's face was strewn with tears. "Thank you...you have no idea what this means to me..." she said with a shaky voice.

Leila pulled her best friend in a tight hug. "You wanna get out of here? Let's just walk back to my flat. Get the alcohol moving out of our systems."

A few minutes later they had exited the bar and were making their way back to Leila's flat. The crisp winter air felt good on their faces and it was nice to be able to chat without shouting.

"So...errrmm...since when...you know...have you been...have you known?"

"Well...let's just say that I've always been appreciative of the female form so to speak. Mind you that doesn't necessarily mean in a sexual way. I don't, like, see a girl walking on the street and think, gee nice tits, nice ass, I wanna bang her. When I was little, I used to have these crushes...you know childish things...on our second grade teacher, our skating coach...stuff like that. When our hormones kicked in, I was confused...as in really-really confused. I thought I was fucked up in the head until I started reading about stuff. At least I knew I wasn't alone in this world.

Then I went into a phase of denial...you know...this can't be happening to me, it's just a phase...it'll pass. That's when I gave a shot at dating if you remember. I thought, against what I felt was true in my heart that, if I was to find the proper guy, maybe this thing...would go away. I tried...I..."

Leila tugged Anna's hand and lightly hugged her. Tears were flowing down her face once more; it was a silent, painful cry.

"You don't have to do this sweetie..."

"No...I've kept these things so long inside me that at times I thought I was going to lose my sanity. I want to tell you...I need to tell you..."

"Oh Anna...I wish there was a way to just take off some of your pain, baby."

Anna looked over at Leila with a sad smile. "I so wish you could...Anyways, as I was saying, I tried dating...I did many stupid things. I...I'm not a virgin Leila...I had sex with Joaquin...Do you remember him at all? It was just before we started twelfth grade. You were all hard on my case back then so I said what the hell...I went out with him that summer...Kissing with him felt like kissing card board, nothing like the stars and magic that you all described."

Leila now looked positively intrigued. "You little minx! You never told! I didn't know that!"

"It was during the summer when you took that long vacation with your family to Spain, that's why your antennae didn't pick it up. But there's more...I had sex with him...twice...it was horrible...I didn't feel anything...Thankfully, in all my misery, Joaquin turned out to be a real gentleman when I asked him to just remain friends. He didn't pressure me or anything...perhaps he sensed that I wasn't really into him or something. But thankfully, he was cool...way cool. Then...

...then I had sex with a girl. It was the summer before you left for the UK, when were together on that camping trip. Remember Olivia? You kept trying to hook me up every night and I kept coming up with excuses, until one night I simply grabbed Olivia, who looked equally desperate or bored or whatever and we run off. Turns out, that Olivia played both sides of the fence and what started as a scalp massage ended...errrmmmm...well...you know..."

"You're blushing, Anna...what else am I going to hear and see for the first time today?"

"Shut up Leila...anyways, whilst you were busy with Mr. Insecurity that summer, I had a couple of...encounters with Olivia. She was a very sweet girl but she was clear that we were just a fling, nothing more. But in a sense, she opened my eyes..."

"...not to mention your legs..."

"Ha-Ha very funny...but yes...she was my first. So yes, if you want me to get into the nitty-gritty details, the sex was phenomenal and there was this light-bulb moment inside my head, like, soooooo...this is how it's supposed to feel..."

In the meantime, without really noticing it, they had reached Leila's residence. Neither girl was feeling very sleepy so they continued their chat, comfortably perched on Leila's bed.

"...so...how's the sex really like...I mean...I suppose there's lot of oral and stuff...but what else?"

Anna blushed once more, the second time for the night. "Uuuuuhhhh...well...we're not like, aliens from outer space you know...It's not much different from hetero sex. Yes, there's a lot of oral and obviously fingers are involved...also toys if you're into that kind of thing but I've never used any. I prefer my tongue and hands to be honest. And then there's tribbing, which can be, oh my God, fucking amazing."

"Errr...since I don't have my lesbian dictionary handy right now, what exactly is tribbing?"

"Emmm...well...scissoring? You know...like...when you rub your..."

"blushingggg..."

"Oh for fuck's shake...it's when you rub pussies together one on one. There, I've said it. You happy now?"

"And...does it feel good?"

"Fuck yeah...God, Olivia was so good at this...so good..."

Anna could see that Leila's eyes were glistening. There was palpable energy filling the room; a gravity like force which started narrowing the distance between them. Anna's eyes were locked upon Leila's face; her eyes were closed and her lips slightly parted. "Oh my God...she's going to kiss me...we're going to kiss...is this happening? It can't be happening! I..."

A loud bang from right next door startled them and made them jump to the ceiling.

"Huh...What was that?"

"Oh that's...that's just my cretin next door neighbor banging his door shut. Never fails to make my skin jump every time he does that. Would you like a cup of tea? I'm going to the kitchen to make myself one. I've got some chamomile as well if you fancy that."

"No, I'm good thanks. Shouldn't we...you know make the beds first? Because..."

"Yeah, yeah, totally...um...yeah...right...so...beds first...tea next...or no tea..."

"Leila! Just chill okay? It never happened. Relax!"

Leila let out an audible sigh of relief. "Oh God...I'm so glad...because, you know...friendship...but...I'm glad you're okay with it."

"Like I said, it never happened. Now, you go fetch the tea and I'll make the beds, deal?"

Leila

It was two weeks since Anna had left and it was once more a Friday evening. Outside, the weather was alternating between sleet and rain and a cold northern wind was blowing. They were predicted for a few inches of snow later that night or so the forecast said. Leila didn't mind the snow, how could she? Where she came from, five to six months of snow was the norm each winter. What she hated though was this constant overcast and the incredible variation in rain. Because yes, in northwestern England you had all types of rain. You had showers, drizzles, sleet, proper rain, downpour rain, tiny droplet-rain like small icicles, the one which managed to get you soaked down to your underwear.

Bored to her core, she started browsing around the ether world. For some strange reason the word "tribbing" came to her mind, the very one Anna had used that night to describe lesbian sex to her. She searched google for it and true enough she got back thousands of hits. The images she got were stills from porn movies, some of them were gross, but highly suggestive nonetheless. "So that's how it's done" she thought as she casually readjusted a wedged piece of her underwear. Next she searched "girls kissing" and here she perused through so many beautiful images.

"How about...hmmm...lesbian films? Let's see what that will bring up..." she thought. "Room in Rome? I wonder what that's all about." Clicking on the YouTube link she popped open the film's description.

Alba (Elena Anaya) seduces a stranger Natasha (Natasha Yarovenko) to her hotel room (the details of how they meet in a club are left vague) in what seems merely a harmless sexual adventure crowning their last night in Rome. Tentatively, through weave of stories, sex, memories and connection with artworks in the room, the two connect deeply, descending more and more into the depths of truth, trust, and ultimately love. The lovers eventually agree to part ways, returning to their previous lives in Russia and Spain.

Intrigued, Leila got comfortable on her chair and pressed play. She watched on as the film unfolded before her eyes; this was nothing like the crappy porn that some of her boyfriends had shown her in an effort to entice her into a threesome. This felt naughty and at the same time highly erotic. As she watched on she could feel a familiar swelling in her nether region accompanied by a flight of butterflies in the lower part of her stomach. Shifting her weight on her chair didn't stem the rising tide, but she chose to ignore her simmering arousal for the moment.

But when the film reached the bath scene, her need rose a notch. Right in front of her where two incredibly beautiful females feverishly kissing and petting inside a water filled bathtub. For some reason, these images acted as a spark plug, igniting within her a greedy beast; she was definitely horny now and the feeling of wetness in her panties was testimony to that. Steeling her resolve, she put her need aside and elected to finish the film instead.

When the closing credits fell on her screen, she rose from her chair and lazily sprawled on her bed. She felt incredibly horny and incredibly curious at the same time. Questions would have to come in later; her carnal needs would have to take eminence for the moment. Closing her eyes, she sucked in her breath and sent her hand downwards. She could feel the burning of her skin as the cotton material of her t-shirt made contact with it. Her hand continued towards her, screaming for attention, pussy as her mind started displaying flashes of the film she had just seen.

Her idle left hand, not to be left out of the action, lazily groped at her C cup breast. Using a combination of hefty grabs, caresses and pinches only served to heighten her pleasure and make her erect nipple almost painfully rub with her tee. But the main dish was being served elsewhere; soon her vagrant hand had crossed beneath the waistline of her sweats and panties and had made contact with her pubic hair. Slowly inching downwards, it scaled the heights of her mons pubis and then delightfully plunged in the gap between her lips.

Never before had the need to dip her fingers in her wetness been so desperate for Leila. In fact, she didn't just dip; she rammed first one and then two fingers inside her, all the while mashing her clitoris with her palm. Images of naked girls kissing and touching danced in her mind as her fingers retreated and reinserted themselves.

Her heightened sense of arousal could not be satisfied with such constricted maneuvers; soon sweat pants were being kicked off and panties thrown aside in a desperate need to provide her hand with more leverage. Turning over to her side, she assumed a fetal position, trapping her fingers within her sopping pussy lips.

Leila felt an intoxicating mix of extreme arousal and desperation; she couldn't remember ever needing to cum with such greed. Her arousal had been simmering for some time now below the surface and now that the ballast had been blown, it was travelling towards the surface with incredible speed. Her hand picked up in rhythm, as her point and index fingers swished around her swollen clitoris. Her breathing was shallow and she felt hot flashes course through her body as her climax neared. A small, soft moan escaped her mouth as her hand picked up yet more speed.

And then her mind showed someone kissing her as she lay crouched on her bed. Illusionary hands were conjured and seen roaming all over her body. "Oh yes...yes...Oh God yes..." escaped her mouth as a hot whisper. Imaginary lips kissed her skin and sucked on her nipples sending waves of pleasure to the four corners of her body. And then a face; the unknown assailant concocted by her mind acquired a face and it was...Anna!

And that really burst the dam for Leila. The build-up to her climax felt monumental and the ensuing orgasm explosive. Her thighs clamped hard on her hand as her whole body went rigid. A long "aaaahhhh" left her mouth as she felt the walls of her vagina pulsate in ecstasy. It went on and on and on...Just as she thought it was over, the rubbing of her hand would keep her orgasm going. Finally, after riding on this phenomenal wave of pleasure for a good solid minute, her body slumped on the mattress and she passed out as she lay.

The cold in her room and the damp spot on her bed cover woke her up a few hours later. Leila stretched luxuriously on her bed and giggled; her body felt amazingly relaxed and refreshed. Just the thought of the orgasm she had sent delicious tingles down her spine.

"Well...that one was certainly for the books...can't remember ever having a better one." She frowned at that thought. Ever since she had started dating she had necked and petted with three boyfriends and had been exclusive with two. Nicholas had been her first and now she had Percy on yet another long distance relationship. But none of them had given her such an orgasm. In fact, come to think of it, only Percy had given her a couple of weak ones and she was surprised when that had happened.

Up until then, she thought she was "one of those girls" who couldn't orgasm through sex. Intercourse had been mildly pleasurable for her; as she thought it through, her orgasms with a partner had been when Percy had begrudgingly gone down on her a couple of times. And Leila wasn't a frequent masturbator; she somehow thought it disloyal to her boyfriends to do that and at other times she just couldn't be bothered. On this instance however, she came hard and fast; there was no denying that. And she had been aroused and orgasmed to the images of females, fantasizing about her best friend no less. Did that mean anything about her?

"Naaaaahh...I guess it's just the lack of sex...I must have been more horny than I realized...I'll take the train tomorrow and make a surprise visit to Percy...That should straighten things out..."

Summer 2013

Anna

It was a lazy Sunday morning and Anna sat with her sister and parents at the kitchen table for breakfast.

"So have you decided on a program yet? Have you got back any acceptances?"

"Well yes...as a matter of fact I've had three acceptance letters...one from the University of Edinburgh, one from Manchester and one from the LSE."

"Wow hun! LSE? That's like a big deal isn't it?"

"Well it's top of the top in the UK and like, third globally, so yeah...as far as economics go, it's a big deal. There is a teeny-weeny little caveat though...their tuition fees are out of the sky. We're talking like, thirty-eight to thirty-nine thousand dollars, just for the tuition fees, never mind the cost of living in London which is probably worse than Toronto from what I read."

"Yeah...thirty-eight thousand is probably a bit too much for us love..."

"I know and I wasn't going to ask...you guys are already being super generous already so I don't want to be greedy or anything. I've settled for Manchester to be honest."

"Oh? How come? They say that Edinburgh is a beautiful city to study. Doesn't Manchester come off as a bit more drab?"

"Well...ermm...the department in Manchester is ranked higher and their tuition fees are more down to earth, in the region of thirteen to fourteen thousand...Leila has also started her PhD there. She's already been there for years...she'll show me the ropes and that way I'll adjust quicker. Plus it's always good to have a friend in a new place...So yeah, I'm leaning that way...I think I'll accept if that's OK with you guys."

Her father looked towards her mother; they had their usual silent conversation, one which comes from knowing each other for years. Her mother nodded and thus the argument was settled. Her wish would be granted.

Excusing herself from the kitchen table, she practically raced upstairs to her room. She had so much to do; she had to reply to the email from the graduate student's office and she had to fill in the electronic form for student residence. She had to formulate a rough plan of her expected living expenses to hand over to her parents. But most important of all, she simply had to give the good news to Leila.

Once again, Skype was going to serve as the conduit towards sharing her happiness. Leila was online and after a few seconds her familiar face was filling her laptop screen. That familiar face however was marred with puffy red eyes and black circles the size of Oreo cookies.

"Errrmmm...Leia? You alright girl? You look like someone punched you in the face."

"Stabbed me in the back more likely. Remember when, two weeks after you left, I told you about that surprise visit I had made to Percy?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, what I didn't tell you was that I had met with a very flustered and disheveled girl at his flat's common room...and a few seconds later I encountered an almost panic stricken Percy in his room. When I asked him about the girl or why he was behaving as if he had seen a ghost he stammered back something about being ill. At that point I chose to ignore my suspicions and chalk it up to him feeling lousily.

But yesterday when I repeated the routine and pulled a surprise visit on him, that girl was there once more only this time...this time I caught her in his room...scantily clad...So I simply told him that we're through and I left...bloody bastard..."

"Oh dear me...I'm so sorry Leia...I don't know what to say..."

"Oh just fuck him...he was rubbish in bed anyway...and he was cheating behind my back, so fuck him...It's just that...you expect a bit more sincerity from someone with whom you've been for nearly two years together...we started out so differently and it all had to end like this. I mean...just grow up some fucking balls and tell me you asshole, there's no need to go behind my back! Christ! What have I done wrong and end up with all the mental patients?"

"Nothing's wrong with you...You're just looking in the wrong direction...sometimes happiness is staring you in the face, it's so close that we fail to take notice of it."

"Oh? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing really...I'm sure you'll find the man of your heart...these things come when you least expect it."

"What about you? Got any nice girl over there tied to your bed post?"

Anna visibly blushed, something which never failed to amuse Leila. "What? Don't tell me that you've got no one...Surely some lucky girl must be interested. You're gorgeous and witty and funny and like, the best girl ever...In fact if I was into girls I'd totally do you."