Love or Something Like It

It was on the fifth day that the ache began. I tried masturbating myself, first with one, then two and finally three fingers, but the ache refused to go away. I tried to apply logic to the situation, asking myself how I would react if I knew that you were never coming back and had to get on with my life, but it didn't help. So I decided to do something about it.

The next day, during my lunch break, I walked into one of the side streets off the Bull Ring where I knew that there was a sex shop. Checking through the net curtain to make sure the place was empty, I walked in with an attitude like it was something that I did every day and couldn't be shocked by what I saw there. I was.

The man/youth running the place couldn't have been more than eighteen or nineteen, but he knew his business. Scanning me with a professional eye he said, 'Looking for something to keep you happy until the right guy comes along?'

I nodded. He smiled. 'Good! Right again! You didn't look like a dyke who needed a double-header to keep her lover happy. Now, let's see...'

He started to put on the counter a selection of dildo's that were all the lengths, thicknesses and colours imaginable. Looking me over with the eye of a professional, he handed me a black dildo that was a little bit longer and thicker than you are.

'I think that this is what you are looking for. Unless, of course, you want the vibrator version, which is a little bit more expensive. I have a new model here that has a real skin feel to it and has a four speed pump action. All you have to do is hold it in and set the speed. It's up to you, take your time.'

All of this was said in a matter of fact voice as though he was selling newspapers or shoes. In the end I bought the black one, the vibrator version. I had just paid for it when the man (called Daniel), asked me it he could ask me a personal question. I had just nodded when he asked me what the hell a woman of my age and looks was doing buying a vibrator. But, before I could answer, he continued

'Maybe,' he said, stepping out from behind the counter, 'what you are looking for is something or someone with no strings attached to keep you satisfied until your boyfriend gets back or you find a better alternative, what do you think?'

I could see from the massive bulge in his trousers the 'alternative' he had in mind. Daniel was cute, and maybe, at a different time, I would take him up on his offer, but in the end I settled for the black, three-speed vibrator and a large pack of double-ribbed, multi flavoured Trojan's.

I couldn't wait to get home to try out my new toy. Hiding myself in the last closet of the toilets at work, I fumbled and dropped one of the batteries as I tried to put them in, it rolling freely under the division between my closet and the next. As luck would have it the rest of the closets were still empty, and I was able to retrieve it without having an embarrassing situation on my hands.

Stuffing the packaging into my bag, I leant back on the seat as far as I could and raised my legs up the door jams.

Wet ever since I had seen the row of dildos in the sex shop, I had no problem in slowly inserting the top of the head of Jason (the name I had chosen for my new toy), inside me. I could then feel that I had underestimated the difference between Jason's thickness and yours as he stretched me even wider that you had before I felt his bulging head slide inside me.

Tremors were already shuddering through my body by the time I felt Jason's thickness pass into my saturated vagina. Pushing slowly, I had just over half of him inside me and then I felt for the controls ant turned it onto the lowest speed. The effect was electrifying. Holding my hand as still as I could, I felt him slowly but surely pump himself inside me until well over three-quarters of his length told me that I could take no more.

Sliding further down the seat so that I was almost laid on it, I locked my two feet behind the coat pegs on either side of the closet and turned Jason onto full speed. Then my imagination took over, and there was this massive, ebony-black man with perfect white teeth and the body of a Nubian god pumping harder and harder into me. I could just feel a climax starting to build when the toilet doors opened and another woman walked in and my climax died before it was even born. Even though she entered a closet at the other end of the row, there was no way that I could find the courage to continue. Ever so gently, I slid Jason out of me and glancing at it, was shocked to see that I had taken almost all of him, well over your length.

Gingerly lowering my cramped legs and sliding backwards so that I was in the sitting position, I wrapped Jason in toilet paper and quietly slid him into my bag, disappointed, frustrated, but with butterflies in my stomach at the thought of what was waiting for me when I got home. I was soaking wet for the rest of the day, my work done on 'automatic', my mind fully occupied by the huge, black satisfier hiding in the bag underneath my desk just waiting to gratify me whenever I called upon him to do so.

After a quick TV dinner, I took a long, slow, meticulous shower and shave to make sure that every part of my body was spotlessly clean for new black lover who was awaiting me.

After drying myself off, I walked nude into the bedroom and spread-eagled myself on the bed, waiting to satisfy, and be satisfied by, my private Nubian god. But first he had to be dressed properly for the occasion...

Reaching under my pillow I took out the box of Trojan's, and as slowly and erotically as I could, rolled a chocolate-flavoured condom the whole of his rock solid length. Rolling over onto my stomach, I raised myself onto my elbows and, holding him in my hands, slowly started licking his bulging head.

The taste was of bitter chocolate, my favourite, and it was not long before I had the whole of his head and a good part of his length in my mouth. I had to stretch my mouth wide open to take him, but soon (in my own mind), I could hear him groaning with pleasure. After a few minutes I could feel my own juices flowing past my clitoris and onto the top sheet, but I didn't care, all I was bothered about was satisfying the man that I was with.

It only took a few more minutes of rapid pumping when, sure that he was on the verge of coming, I rolled over and rammed him as hard as I could as far as I could into my arousal juice drenched, freshly-shaven vagina. Filled with an intense, fiery erotic pain at being opened up to such a width and length, my whole body quivered as if on the verge of an orgasm, which then slowly ebbed away.

It took me some time to get used to being filled like that, you had never filled me so completely and it was going to take another couple of months before I felt a man, and not an artificial tool, make me feel like Jason did at that moment. I had fitted Jason with a double-ribbed condom, and it was as I slowly slid him out of me that I could feel why they were such a best seller, the ribs gently scraping every centimetre of my womb and vagina. Then, as I slowly pushed him back in, just the reverse occurred, the ribs much rougher and more erotic that I have ever felt by anyone not dressed as Jason was. From the heat of my womb I could smell the faint door of chocolate filling the whole area around my bed.

Wanting this first experience with Jason to last and last, I took my time, slowly sliding him in and out of me. Then, as I felt the heat in my groin reach unbearable level, I quickly started allowing him to ride me as fast as I could, still amazed that I was taking all he had to offer, including the thicker, 'hairy' root of his erection. With my hands now coming into contact with the flesh with my vaginal lips as his whole length went into me, I could feel my climax building. Then, with the speed of an express train, it was upon me, taking over my body and mind in a muscle-contorting, light-flashing crescendo.

My hands left Jason inside me as I grabbed the pillow and hugged it close to try an remind myself where I was and what was happening, but it didn't help. My vaginal muscles contracted so hard that, in the back of my mind, I was sure that he was going to injure me if I didn't get him out of there; but it was impossible to extract Jason, the pain of trying far greater than the pain of holding him inside me.

Without exaggerating it took a good ten minutes for that orgasm to pass, a level of orgasm that you never succeeded in making me reach. When I did, finally, slide him out of me I felt an emptiness inside me that I had never felt before. Gently feeling my crotch I could feel that the whole of my anus and top sheet were saturated with my chocolate smelling juices. It took another five minutes before all the various parts of my body and mind were back in their proper places and I could try to put my feet on the floor. Staggering like something drunk, I finally made it to the bathroom. Then I scared the hell out of myself when I wiped myself and saw the paper smeared with brown, mucous liquid. I had forgotten about the chocolate condom...

Jason must have served me five times that night, but the one I remember the most (and the one that made me call in sick the next day), was the last one. I woke up about four in the morning to go to the toilet. On my way back I saw Jason lying where I had tossed him during my last multi-orgasm about an hour before. Sitting on the edge of the bed I took him in my hands and looked at him, my nipples immediately standing like beacons in the half-light. How the hell had I managed to take all of that inside me, not once, but again and again? Lying across the bed, I turned the speed control onto 'slow' and gently began to massage my nipples with the thing that just the sight of which had aroused them to such hardness seconds before.

Within no time I was wet, and that old familiar ache returned to my groin. My vagina was still sore from my night's exertions, and I was about to put Jason out of sight when a thought crossed my mind. Sliding the bed a few feet across the bedroom so that one side of it was hard up against the mirrored doors of my clothes closet, I climbing on the bed and raised my legs as high as I could up the closet door. I could see my entire vagina and the cheeks of my ass, but not enough. Packing a pillow under my buttocks and opening my legs as wide as I could, I could see the pink rose of my anus glistening wet with my juices.

Taking Jason in my hand and gently inserting him as deep into my vagina as he would go, I gently slid him out and slowly began teasing the outer lips of my anus with his lubricated, bulbous head. Watching myself in the mirror but with my head out of view was like watching somebody else, the fact that I couldn't see my face only added to the mystery. Who was this woman who was allowing herself to be exposed like that? Not only that, but to also allow others to see what she was doing? I think if I had been able to see my face and what I was doing at the same time I would have stopped out of shame, but looking in the mirror and only seeing a huge black vibrator teasing a puckered anus, I felt disconnected from the person that I was watching.

I watched her as, holding the huge black satisfier in her hands, she made slow circles with the head of the Negroid penis around the rim of her anus, the muscles opening more and more as they became gently massaged and more relaxed. Then she stopped her teasing and, lining up the vibrator, slowly eased the head of it inside herself. There was a slow groan to accompany the head's entrance, and then a deeper groan as the woman slowly slid the juices-saturated vibrator deeper and deeper inside herself. She stopped well short of taking the full length, but the width she was being stretched open to was far greater that she had ever been before.

Sliding the vibrator backwards so only the head remained inside her, she then rammed it as hard as she could into herself, at the same time turning on the pumping action to full speed. The effect was almost instantaneous, the unseen woman letting out a loud scream as she experienced her first anal multi-orgasm. There was also another first, as a fine jet of juices sprayed out of her vagina to cover her thighs and stomach. The muscles in her legs contracted so hard that she was unable to keep them on the closet, instead her body rolling into a ball of spasms, groans and quiverings that overtook the whole of her being.

And that is how I stayed until the following morning, barely able to get off the bed to turn off the alarm clock. My legs were jelly and my voice nothing more than a whisper as I 'phoned work to tell them that I would not be in, the first day's work I have ever missed. I must have sounded convincing, for the night manager, knowing that I lived alone, asked if I needed someone to help me...

The rest of that week went by in a blur of sexual self-gratification and work; I don't even remember what I ate during those seven days. What I do know is that my standard of work fell well below par, which was made clear several times to me by my supervisor. It was only one the last day of that week when I was given an official letter of reprimand that I realized how close I was to losing my job.

That was the day when you were supposed to be coming home, and like a dutiful mate I sat by the 'phone all evening and well into the night waiting for it to ring. It didn't. I tried 'phoning your home number and mobile several times, but both were on answer service.

It was during this time that I, for the first time, seriously began to try and justify my behaviour over the previous month or so. The idea that I was addicted to sex came into my mind a few time, but each time I dismissed it as being impossible, after all, sex wasn't a drug, was it?

For the first time since you went away there was no aching in my groin that night, no need to dash home or into the bedroom to get Jason to ease my pain before it became unbearable. That night I fell asleep in my clothes, that way I knew that I wouldn't sleep too soundly and not hear the 'phone when you rang. You hadn't 'phoned by the next morning, or the next or the next. I kept trying to 'phone, even went around to your place a couple of times, but the was no answer either to the pleading messages I left you or to my frantic knocking.

The idea that you had dumped me crept into my mind a couple of times, but was dismissed by the logic that, if a man breaks in a virgin and their sex is good and she is doing exactly what he wants her to do, then they stay together, right? I remember reading that it some magazine somewhere, and that was the straw that I clung onto until, nine days later, you finally decided to 'phone me.

You gave me the excuse that you had done so well on your course that you had been invited to stay on for an extension course in man management. You then asked me if I was free to call 'round to your place. I don't know what you thought I was doing, but knowing now what I didn't know then, I can well guess; you thought that I had found someone to keep me satisfied until you got back, just as you did.

All the shouting and screaming that I planned to do went out of the window as soon as I saw you. You had been working out, had re-styled your hair and bought a new set of clothes, in short you looked good.

You started to tell me how much you had missed me, but I didn't want to hear it, and stopped the lie by pushing my tongue into your mouth as deep as it would go. Your eyes took on that glazed look that I was beginning to know all too well, and then we were both undressing one another like two animals in heat. There was no need for foreplay, you were rock hard and I was as wet as I needed to be to take you. Like a stag and doe in the rutting season, there was no love in that first coupling, just two people giving expression to their nature-driven, animalistic lust.

That first session was short-lived, but the second, third and fourth more than made up for it, your erection losing none of it's hardness between one ejaculation and the next, even when you went to the bathroom. I lost count how many multi-orgasms I had, and any thought of questioning you about the time you had been away never entered my mind. I was happy and satisfied. You were back, that's all that mattered.

By the time that we both were spent, it was like you had never been away, Jason and whom you had been with while you were away either pushed to the back of my mind or chosen to be forgotten about. As I said at the beginning, I am far more to blame than you are. You had found someone who was crazy about you and whom you could control through sex, and I was either naïve or sorely lacking in self-esteem to let you do it.

But, there are two instances that stand out in my mind, which, apart from showing me how low I had sunk, also showed me that you were willing to agree to other people using and abusing me. What we did together behind closed doors was one thing, but for you to allow it to be seen and partaken in by others was quite something else.

The first was with Ray and Dana: do you remember them? You should, for that was the first time that I had seen anything far bigger than you were which both of us were going to experience before the night was over. Also, that was the first time that I had sex with another woman or realized that both of us swung both ways.

You invited them over to your place without telling me, something that, as I found out later, you had arranged well in advance. You told me the following morning that they had called around unexpectedly to show you some new videos that they had bought, and had no idea that I was going to be there. All of this I later found out to be a lie.

Anyway, by the time that we were into the first video, Ray (a black African), and Dana (a white, blond Scandinavian), were already groping one another. Within a very short time it was clear that Dana was without a bra and Ray was not wearing anything under his trousers. Her nipples were standing as hard as they could be, and the shape of his half-hard erection was clear for all to see. I had heard, like everybody else, that black men are supposed to be better hung than white ones, and from the size of Ray even when he was only half-hard it looked like the story is correct.

What the foursome in the video were doing was also turning both of us on, and seeing the growing bulge between your legs only made my already wet groin wetter. Even though I was wearing a bra, my own nipples were standing so hard that they were painful, especially the ends which were pressing hard against the bra fabric.

Seeing that Ray and Dana were doing their own thing, (she fondling his erection through the fabric of his trousers, he flicking her nipples with his fingers), you snuggled up close to me and began to arouse me as quickly as you could, as though there was no time to spare. I was soon lost in my own fantasy with my eyes tightly closed as you love-bit and then flicked with you tongue the top of my spine, the one thing that was guaranteed to turn me on far faster than anything else. Soon your hand was between my legs, your fingers massaging my vaginal lips and clitoris.

I opened my eyes with the intention of asking you to take me into the bedroom, and was met by the sight of Dana going down on Ray. His trouser belt and zipper open, he was now fully hard and I could see with my own eyes that there was some truth in the stories that I'd heard. He was at least three inches longer than you, and so thick that, even when Dana stretched her mouth as far open as she could, she could just take his bulging head and another two inches inside it. It was so erotic watching the two of them that any thought of going into the bedroom went out of my head...