Love Won't Die

What was different, for sure, was how I viewed my parents—my siblings didn't enter into it as yet, if they ever would. If they knew I was a lesbian, there was no doubt in my mind that they would more than frown on it, maybe even disown me.

Brother James had given me a bonus; that's what he called it.

"In the short time you've worked for me, you've given me more than one hundred percent. You've been efficient, uncomplaining, and readily doing whatever I asked of you, and swiftly too. I wish you didn't have to go, but I'm really grateful for all you've done. I wish you well, but I suspect you'll do just fine anyway."

Five hundred dollars was one heck of a bonus!

"Thank you Brother James; I'll consider this a loan though. It's a lot," I ended it, but gave him a hug which he seemed to appreciate.

At the college, I talked with my counselor, Ms. Withers.

"This is an excellent time for you; you've come at a most propitious moment. You're superior grades have earaned you a full scholarship newly funded by a very rich lady that wants to leave a legacy, and girls like you fit her wishes to a T. All you have to do is to maintain a good C average, but if you do better, there's more that will become available to you if you want to continue your education."

That stunned me. I knew I had tuition and books, not to mention boarding in the dormitory. Something else that impressed me was that it was a good distance from home, and in a small, and supposedly clean town that was pretty crime free. As an added bonus, their faculty was highly thought of by those who rated colleges.

The next day I saw a girl that bowled me over. I only saw her from a distance, but I could tell she was something special by the way she walked. True, I couldn't really see her to say anything specific about how she looked, but I'd never seen anyone walk as she did, so like a Patrician, nobility, and pretty ram-rod straight. And elegant! I wondered who she was, and fantasized meeting her, and maybe becoming friends. Sex didn't enter into my conscious mind, at least not then, she was so regal looking.

Settled, books at hand, and my dorm mate met—Fanny, would you believe?—I was ready, my mind made up to study hard and make the highest possible grades. All that I left back home was blocked out of my mind, even Kayla, though my pussy remembered her and tried to bring her to my mind constantly. But even the church couldn't penetrate my thoughts, nor my sleep, at least not just then.

I also had a job, Brother James' letter of recommendation holding me in good stead. It wasn't for many hours, thank goodness, and therefore the pay was minimal, but it would come in handy, and the work was on campus, such as it was.

When the first classes were to start, I saw her again, and stood looking dumbstruck by her person. She was svelte of figure with a magnificent booty, though not excessively so; her hair looked long and sheeny.

Initially working toward a Liberal Arts degree, I went to my morning classes, then had a small, inexpensive lunch in the Student Union, then headed off to my Sociology class. Taking a seat a little back of the front row, I opened my book. Not paying any attention, I heard a soft voice that sounded like a band playing music that was romantically quiet.

"Hi."

Turning, and before I actually saw her, I said, "Hi."

"I hope you don't mind my sitting next to you," she said for some reason or other, as if anyone could object.

"No, not at all," I dumbly said while taking in her face and trying not to stare.

She had fine facial feature, almond eyes that were a rich brown, and model lips, the kind that didn't do the sexy type of scenes, more the high-class ones.

"I'm Cerise," she said.

I couldn't help it, the words just came out of my mouth: "That's a beautiiul name; fits you.."

She gave me a bare-bones smile, but it was genuine; that I could easily tell. "Thank you."

"Oh, I'm Polly."

Then her smile came out more, but barely. "That used to be very popular, but not so much now, but it's a pretty name."

The way she said it was quiet, matter-of-fact, and pleasant. I was more than taken with her person.

When the class was over, I thought that was it for the day, but it turned out that we had introductory History together also.

"Maybe we should compare class schedules," she said in what I thought must be her usual voice.

It turned out that we had biology lab together the next day, and psychology in the afternoon. Sitting next to each other in all of our classes, our friendship began. We met for breakfast, or in her case, coffee, then again for lunch. She was always soft spoken, and, I thought, supremely intelligent much like Kayla, and maybe more so.

Maybe it was inevitable, but it surprised me to find out that she not only had a car, but a house off campus. She invited me to have supper with her one Friday after a few weeks. Of course, she drove me. She had made spaghetti with meat sauce and salad with some Chianti to go with it. It was the first time I had Chianti, and the sour taste didn't turn me off; in fact, it went nicely with the food, though I still drank sparsely.

"You're an interesting person, Polly," she told me.

"So are you, and thank you again for inviting me over. It was delicious."

"You're welcome. I have a feeling that you're as you seem to be, and I like that."

I didn't know what to say. She smiled.

"Just a compliment that I think is well deserved. Most people look at me and I can see their minds wondering, questioning. You've looked at me just as I have you, but there only seems to be an open honesty in you."

That struck a nerve. "I've grown fond of being honest," I said, "then again, I guess you seem the same to me."

"If you don't mind would you tell me about yourself, like where you're from, things like that."

I told her some basic facts, but left out loving women, my confusion and conflicts.

"Small town near a bigger town, and now this small town."

"I guess that's it."

"I think that there's a lot more to you, but no more questions. You don't seem to be anxious to ask me any questions, like where I'm from, or anything else."

"Sorry. Is it okay that I just like you, and I'm enjoying being friends with you?"

"Actually, that's nice, and very refreshing. Usually, when some feel ready, or sometimes right away, I'm peppered with questions. Thank you."

I did have questions, but held them in. She would tell me what she wanted me to know, if and when she was ready. It was enough for me to have her as a friend. That's not to say that I didn't find her sexually attractive, but I still closed my mind off to all but studying and trying to learn as much as I could. Unknown to me, I hoped to learn enough to ask the right questions that might lead to the end of my internal conflicts. I had no desire to have the nightmares resume, nor those debilitating feelings of guilt and shame, or remembering feeling humiliation in church. I wanted to learn, if possible, why I was so attracted to women so much that I knew I was a lesbian through and through.

* * * *

Cerise and I spent a lot of time together, and not just in class, or in the library where we were often found studying, and occasionally whispering. She was more than growing on me. She seemed to have some African ancestry, but I wasn't sure, not that it mattered to me, just that her coloring was so unusual. She had a hue of light bronze, or maybe yellow. Whatever it was, and I couldn't tell for sure, it became her as no other I'd ever seen.

Many weeks later, she caught me looking intently at her, and she smiled. We were at her house and she had been in the kitchen pouring a little more wine.

"I can see you wondering, Polly. Yes, my color is somewhat odd, but then again, not so. My father is what is called by some, a quadroon, and my mother is Anglo. In the parlance, that makes me an octoroon," she said with an even bigger smile than her small one that I thought of as her trademark.

"I didn't mean to offend you, it's just that, as you said, your coloring is unusual, and it's very captivating," I ventured.

As yet, I was still very careful with what I said to her, and how. Her friendship was one that I was cherishing and didn't want to lose it. Maybe I was too careful, but I didn't think so.

"See, that's what I like about you. You're so unobtrusive in your honesty. I feel a certainty with you, from you. Anyway, I'm glad we met, and hope we have more classes together. I'm enjoying your company, and I think you're enjoying mine. Am I right?"

I nearly blushed. Well, maybe I did a little. "Uh-huh, I'm loving having you as a friend," I quickly admitted.

"Me too. May it always be so between us."

Just before we left her house to take me back to my dorm, she kissed my cheek. I looked at her in wonder.

"I don't think I should do that to where anyone can see and maybe start tongues wagging, but friends do kiss on parting, as well as on greeting each other, at least we women do, don't we?"

I nodded, amazed at her perception, and not because she had some African blood.

She looked at me with mild expectancy, a playful grin trying to cross her face. "Well?" she said quietly.

Flustered, my lack of social graces out in full bloom, I knew what she meant, and I quickly kissed her cheek as she had mine.

"There. We got past that portion of being friends, right?"

"Right," I said with my own grin, which was huge and happy. She smiled a bigger than usual smile.

I was loving being Cerise's friend more and more, and I was used to seeing her soft smile that was a staple of her person. No, I loved seeing her smile each time. It was always a wonder to me that anyone could ever have such a captivating smile and it always be there for me to see. I noticed that though she did talk to others, and very softly and politely, she seldom smiled. Why, I wondered, was I so blessed so often with her smile?

Nearing the end of the semester, she had me over for dinner again, but this time, she shocked me. Everything had gone as it always had until we sat with a small glass of wine.

"Polly, you're a lesbian, aren't you?" she said, really more as a statement by her tone.

I didn't say anything, but she didn't wait for an answer. "I say that because I think you don't mind, us being friends all semester, and frankly, I say that because you never check out the hunks, but instead always look at the girls."

There was no accusation in her voice or face, just quiet chatter between us as was the norm with us. Suddenly I was comfortable to admit it to her.

"Yes. I am a lesbian, but..."

"You don't have to explain, or say anything more, and thank you for telling me. Actually, I am too," she floored me, my mouth open in surprise. "Have you ever thought of me sexually?"

Her soft voice, her frank way of talking, and, I knew, not meaning anything untoward with whatever she said or questioned, had me wondering what to say.

"It's okay if you haven't. I just wondered."

"Cerise," I finally found my voice, "I would have, but I didn't want to start anything that might cause you to end our friendship. I think that you're very beautiful, and quite sexy looking too, but your friendship has meant too much to me, and I couldn't let myself start thinking of you like that."

"Oh," came out of her mouth as if disappointed. "I'm sorry."

"Why? I meant what I said."

"So you only want me as a friend."

"No. I mean yes, I mean...Oh, damn it, Cerise, I had no idea you were a lesbian, and I was always so glad that you wanted me as a friend."

"So now that you know that I'm a lesbian too, does that make a difference? I mean, might you start thinking of me sexually?"

Her manner of talking was now infuriating me, but only because I had no idea she might be thinking of us sexually as I thought she was.

"Oh, God, I'd have loved to have been thinking of you sexually, and now I'm afraid I won't be able to stop."

"What if I want you to think of me like that?"

"Do you? Really and truly?"

"Yes. I've been hoping you would do something, say something to show me that you thought of me that way. Will you now, Polly?"

We could only look at each other, me in wonder, her in whatever anxiousness she was having. Our look brought us closer and closer to each other until our lips met, and I knew the heaven of the love that I longed for swelling my heart again. In the haze of love's spell, we were in her bedroom, and slowly kissing as lovers to be, and taking each other's clothes off.

Naked, in the dim light, I could see the wonder of her body's coloring: a rather light golden hue that was so enchanting, so drawing me to want to make love to her. Her breasts were not small, but on her, they were perfect, drawing me in admiration and desire, and more, she was shaved, her pussy just like the rest of her.

Kayla had given me nothing but stupendous sex, and I had loved it dearly. I still remembered our times together, times that were none stop, incredible, and leaving me wanting even more when I was satiated. Cerise, however, was like a dream come true. The instant pull of her person had me enthralled, wanting, wishing, we could somehow be together as friends. Her beauty demanded that I not think of her lest my torments return. As I made love to her, those torments were no where in sight, but I knew that they'd soon be back.

In the meantime, she was moaning incessantly, her hips as mine had once been, seeking they may not have known what. It was as if I was worshiping every inch of her body. I felt that that was exactly what I was doing, the haze that blinded me to all save the beauty of her person and body paramount in every touch and kiss, every caress, every seeking of her many physical charms. I was completely taken with her, with loving her.

"It's so beautiful, Polly. Oh my god, so beautiful," she quietly said in her impending joy of completion.

When I finally arrived at the juncture of her thighs, I licked and kissed all about her, feeling her perfect cheeks rising, swaying, undulating with her growing impatience to reach the high she sought. I didn't want her to end it, though I knew I'd love the feel of her as she did, and for sure, afterward. The end would come, but the present, the tremendous love I had in knowing her as I was, I didn't want to end.

To my horror, and my great pleasure, it did end, and I was happy to hear her love of the experience which I sensed was her first. Why I sensed she had never been made love to as I was doing, I don't know, but somehow I knew it was true.

Her lips had splayed widely, magnificently, and shaved as she was, I buried my face therein as much as I could so my tongue could pull all of her love out, and she poured it out copiously. She shivered, her muscles trembled, her pussy throbbed, and she kept contracting within, and I still had my face as far into her pussy as I could possible have it. Her aroma, her continuing wetness, and the feel of her ongoing joy was something that I didn't want to stop feeling, but like her orgasm, it did have to end. Still, I wouldn't move. It had been too long since I'd loved Kayla, and Cerise was more desired by me.

I looked at her enjoying all that still flowed through her body, and saw her as I had not dared before, but the die was recast. She was more than worth what was to come for me.

"It was much more than I ever dreamed it would be," I heard her soft whisper, even quieter than before, but this time it had a tone to it that was full of wonder, and maybe love of what I'd given her, or taken from her. "Was it as good for you, Polly?"

"Yes, more than good. It was magnificent; you're magnificent."

"Really? You're not just saying that? You are so mysterious at times, you know."

"I'm not saying anything that is not the truth. You know I wouldn't do that with you."

"Yes, I believe you, but can it happen again, I wonder."

"Rest a while, and you'll see."

"Oh, merciful heavens, yes please."

I loved her voice, how she spoke, how she sounded. I was aside of her on my back, and she came into my breast.

"You have such beautiful, full, and inviting breasts. I'll rest here if you don't mind."

My arm about her, and my heart soaring, I wasn't about to say no. if she wished, she could have my breast, or any part of me. It was as a revelation to me, but I knew it was true. Like discovering that I loved women, that I was a lesbian, how suddenly it all came upon me, my love of Cerise was a thing that was instantly realized by me.

But could we last? Would my torments return with a vengeance? Yes, I knew that they were dormant in me no longer.

When she was rested, and becoming restive, wanting more as I did too, I kissed her with a tenderness that overwhelmed me, and swelled my heart with the knowledge of her that I had suddenly admitted to myself.

I urged her up as she looked at me in wonder of what I had in mind, but nonetheless she allowed me to pull her up over me. When she was straddling my face, I looked up at her face and saw her excitement at what was to come, threatening to cut off her breath.

"Oh," emanated from her lips, and I looked at her pussy that was gaping, bidding me to enter into it if I could. I tried, and she gasped, then moaned incessantly. Once more, I didn't make it quick for her though I wanted to for myself. How I wished to ravage her lovely pussy, but I held back the urge for a tremendous tenderness bid me not to treat her roughly, to take her to our sexual heaven slowly, and let her dwell in the sensations of our beautiful sex.

Chapter 5

"We must study though. You have no idea how much I want you more than I can say, but we must always think of the many tomorrows we will have to contend with. Does what I say make sense to you, my sweet Polly?"

"Yes, it makes sense, and I agree, though like you, I want to be as we were again and again."

"Then you did like making love to me, didn't you?"

"Of course I did. You're sexy and you're delicious. Both your facial lips and your pussy lips are delicious."

"I've never been talked to like that, and I like it, from you anyway. It sends these little thrills through me when I hear you say things like that."

"Then I'll say as I feel."

"Yes, as you always have been honest with me, please continue to be so. Now may I make love to you?"

"If that's what you wish, then yes, but though I want you to, you don't have to."

"Oh, I want to. I've dreamed of it since long ago, since almost just after we met. When I knew your person, I knew it was you that I wanted to make love with. Now hush, and let me tease you as you so beautifully teased me. I think I'm going to enjoy you as much as I think you enjoyed me."

She climbed atop of me, and caressed my face, and began her loving tease with what seemed like a million small, soft and loving kisses. My neck suffered the same fate, then my breasts and nipples. There she stayed for ever so long.

"I love your breasts, they're so perfect and sexy, your nipples inviting me, making me want to devour you though I dare not."

She mimicked devouring my breasts and had me squirming madly.

"Patience, my sweet Polly, patience. I want all of you in case we never meet again, but we will. I guarantee that if you'll have me."

"Please," was all I could utter as she kept on slowly tasting all of me, turning me on my tummy as I hadn't her, and covering every cell on my buttocks with tiny kisses and some nibbles, then where my thighs met them, nibbling at their juncture, but avoiding my pussy for the time being. She was driving me insane.

When she did make me turn over, and reached my pussy, I was wet as could be, my core pulsing like crazy. From near my anus to past my clitoris, she took a long, slow, languorous lick that made my hips rise up suddenly to plead for release.