All Comments on 'Making an Honest Woman Ch. 01'

Thoughtful and with feeling. I look forward to the continuation!

When did that happen?

Because it's WAAAAY too early to talk about forgiveness. I was raised a Christian, but I have a strong belief in the way the Jews handled forgiveness in the Old Testament. Christians seem to hand out forgiveness willy-nilly, like Halloween candy. In my mind, forgiveness is earned, and the wife has yet to feel her husband's pain and understand the enormity of what he would have to forgive.

I know this guy sounds too calm and logical, and for those of you who think this is another Loving Wives fairytale with the husband as a paragon of virtue, let me say this: I was he. And I, too, tried to see if I could fix the marriage with counseling.

And then around the four-month mark, after I got tired of dragging my sorry ass around in a daze because I was on antidepressants and could barely function, I took myself off them and went berserk, yelling and pounding things in the counselor's office and terrifying two women.

So I joined a group of men who had been cheated on, and they told me I should go to the gym or take up running, and thank God that worked, and I lost the Daddy weight, too. And they helped me realize that since my wife had said I'd done nothing wrong, that I had dwelled in the anger over the injustice of it all. They said I should start doing more things for myself, and that helped, too. I didn't worry about what my wife thought. She no longer controlled me. And I left counseling, since it was doing nothing for me or the marriage. I lived for me and my kids, and didn't worry about my wife, who seemed to want to fix something that I thought wasn't broken. SHE was what was broken.

Okay, getting off my soapbox now. Saving more comments for later chapters. But you do need to show the anger, at some point. Oh, and another thing: it is realistic for a man to eventually want to know EVERYTHING about the affair. It's just the way we're made. And if the wife can't be anymore forthcoming about that then she was the first night he told her he knew, then the marriage IS doomed. That's just the way that works, too.

Really hope it works out between them. The husband is a real class act.

This sounds like a raac. There are those who are going to be very, very nasty to you in these comments. LW readers can be cruel and vicious! Be prepared.

just like anything that needs 3 legs to stay upright, knock out 1 or 2 of them and it fall.

Well written three dimensional characters. I look forward to more. Thanks*****

Very good story the people seem real and you feel the true hurt lies can do to a relationship. You will get some negative feed back from the odd ball crowd, ignore and carry on writing. Looking forward to the rest of the story.

wimp story 1*

I like your approach so far. While I'm not wired to like everything about how this is playing out or your protagonist, I appreciate this well crafted story and I'm definitely looking forward to the rest.

I will say I'm disappointed in the possibility that Rob has a big cock and that was part of the reason the wife cheated or liked cheating so much. This story has a feel to it, a grounding in reality and big cocks are not reasons, in reality, why women cheat, continue cheating or even enjoy sex at high levels.

Still very much looking forward to how you will address that particular monster in this marriage as well as the others.

Very good work!

Full marks of course and thank you.

A realistic look at a marriage breakdown,excellent for a first effort.Looking forward to the rest of the story.5 stars

From most of the stories on here lately. I’m enjoying it. Sometimes a realistic type story is a good thing. Five stars.

A really good story ..... so far.

Bags of emotion and drama ..... loving it.

I think you've set a very high standard here , so if , or when you follow up , please don't rush it.

...

Can't wait for chapter 2

Excellent beginning, especially when we don’t know whether they’ll split up or reconcile.

I wonder what the commenter who said 1* Wimp expected; that the husband erupt in a blaze of guns and glory?

We did get a slight hint, when the husband mused that he needed to get revenge on Rob. This could be a reconciliation after he castrates her lover story.

Just don't let the comments go to your head, yet. Setting up a multi-chapter story is the easy part. Where you go from here is what will determine how good the story is. Creating the conflict is the least difficult part of a story. I look forward to seeing what you do with it. I would also suggest that you avoid political observations and opinions in your stories. It adds nothing to the plot, but you risk pissing off some of your readers for no discernable reason. Write an essay if you feel you want to try politics, and if you think anyone would care. This goes for support or criticism of either party or any politician. Around half the readers will approve of any person you think is an asshat. Why alienate them?

Thanks bye the way, your efforts made my day better. Loved the story and it's realism.

In the interests of constructive criticism I felt the confrontation lacked emotional punch. He was too lawyer like in his cold approach and she was too appearing to be confident in her denials.

Gave it a 5 as it truly deserved it. Looking forward to the next installment.

A wife getting ready to meet her lover would have known instantly that her husband knew as soon as he said she had to stay home that evening to save their marriage, but it wasn’t written that way.

A college professor would think that Trump is an asshole. Even his supporters know he’s an asshole; they just think that an asshole is what we need as President right now!

And no, I didn’t vote for either the asshole or the bitch. I voted third party.

Husband seems like a robot. The political bullshit is unnecessary. Why bring it into a story? Do u need to express your views thar badly? Silly.

Curious how wife did not clue in he knew when comfronted. Wife had curious reaction to him knowing. Calls guy up, has weird interaction, and them expects to go to sleep with husband.

In reality, wife should move out. Why would husband leave? If she really was remorseful she would insist. Kinda think this will not end well. He is taking blame when he has none. Annoying.

Curious about therapist. They can help or hurt even more the problem.

If he gets over this, how could he trust her knowing how easy she lied to him?

Interesting read so far, looking forward to the next installments.

I haven't read this ye, based on the comments I will presently, but I wanted to comment on the wife telling everything issue.

First, IF the cheating is truly a one-off, truly regretted, and truly NEVER to be discovered, my preference is for the cheater to live with the guilt, rather than dump the load of crap on the partner.

Second, if the partner is told, while I would not necessarily tell EVERYTHING, I WOULD answer EVERY question as completely as I could. I had a long-running argument with swingerjoe and luedon on Joe's, "The Aftermath," where the wife wouldn't answer the questions her husband had. My point was, that however bad the truth might be, if he's not told, he will imagine the worst!

You can please some of the people all of the time You can please most of the people most of the time. But, you can't please all of the people all of the time. I apologize for a poorly stated paraphrase of Abraham Lincoln's famous aphorism. All stories have

a few flaws and some many more. For me this was a good story. It's based on a common problem, and the approach to the issue is more logical and rational than most.The sequence of scenes follows a structured pattern. The reaction of all four parties is rational and the end of this chapter/section is in keeping with the thought processes of a university professor. The story is well written, the dialogue fits the situation, and the emotional reactions are what I would expect. I look forward to the next installment.

Since it's one that stuck out for me, I will too, since I'd like to see it addressed in a following chapter. The wife would have to be disconnected from reality not to be even on guard after he told her to be honest. It seems clear she thought he suspected an affair, so why was she still planning to meet her lover?

It seemed like some modicum of self-preservation should have kicked in. I do hope this gets cleared up in a counseling session. I can see it being an issue for any husband. She strongly suspected he knew, and was going to continue anyway. It's bad enough she was doing it in secret, but at least she could maintain she wasn't delibefately trying to hurt him. At the point she suspected he knew, she no longer could rationally feel that. Continuing her plan at that point, was deliberately inflicting pain.

Aside from that point, I enjoyed this chater and am looking forward to the rest. I'm glad you took the plunge into submitting a story, especially in this category. Loving Wives comment section, is often like learning to swim in the part of the ocean where the sharks like to hang out.

Just about stopped reading when you made your stupid political comment. Everything is political to you liberals. I went from feeling sorry for character to wishing she would take him to the cleaners. These stories are to be entertaining, not political statements. Oh, and I disagree with you.

Waah! Waah! I disagree with your character's political views! You're obviously a liberal! Waah! I hope she takes him to the cleaners! Hah! And somehow the liberals are snowflakes. Oh well. Love the story! Keep it up! Definitely excited to read the next chapter!

Can't wait to read the rest.

I rarely post twice but the way she called the lover was annoying me

Rob . . . no, I'm not coming. He knows . . . yes, it's over. I can't see you anymore. No, I'll be fine. Good-bye, Rob." She dropped the phone back in her bag and looked at me.

He knows. Ill be fine. The y talked about the husband during the affair so it was not some passionate sex. It was a true relationship. He even cared enough to inquire if she would be ok.

She attacked him whe he was looking for her to confess.

I lokk forward to seeimg how he could get over all of this.

I very much detest politics. Both sides BTW. However, this was an excellent story and look forward to the next chapter. I read these stories to escape all of the BS (politics) in the world. I loved it and found it very believable. Thank you for writing it.

5 stars

But author falls into the dialog trap. People just don't say hundreds of words before the other guy speaks. If you read the dialog exchanges out loud, I think you'll see what I mean. On paper it looks pretty good, but it does not imitate life very well.

A great start that well describes the fallout for an indiscretion; if I can use that word. I look forward to reading more.

Fuk'n Libitard professors . I'll bet he was a card carrying antifa supporting pinko commie . He was an asshole of a man or cuck in this case . Let him go find his safe space while she finds a real man .

Good writing, particularly for a self edited story. I was put off by the inclusion of political comments, they added nothing to the story line. Or, perhaps I am wrong about that and his political leanings may be part of the problem between them?

I got pulled into your story. Really well done.

Skimming the other comments you see (some jerks but also) some reasonable critiques that are in my opinion more quibbles than substantive concerns. Of course, there's room for improvement. But the big picture is, you've made me come to know (and therefore care about) your protagonist.

Good show!

The title of this story should have been "Yakety Yak."

At first I was put off by your by-line.....A woman trying to tell how a man feels about his wife's infidelity......but you really nailed it. It is the betrayal of trust and not so-much the sexual affair that kills the marriage. I am looking forward to more of your work. Thanks.

Really good first chapter for your first story. I especially liked the recognition and writing on how this was affecting his children.

But please don't make this all about going to the counselor that is so boring to read.

I don't give a shit about the politics. Never have, never will. They're all scum, so that doesn't bother me. Nice first story. If you want an editor, there's really only one name. Blackrandl1958 edits for half the people who publish here, and if you can get her, you're home free. Keep writing.

The story isn't too bad, might have given it a 3 or 4 if not for the politics. Is the author an elitist academic like the character or is it just the character? Either way it was unnecessary to alienate half the audience. Literotica readers reflect society in its make-up. Why piss off half (or more) of your readers. It wasn't just the comments about the President though, the disdain the author (or just the Professor) felt for average Americans that they are too stupid to know that Outback is not really Aussie culture was worse. Like most Liberal Arts Professors, he thinks Middle Class Americans are Philistines. Well it is that attitude that got this President elected and will get this story a very low rating. So keep it up.

As far as the rest of the story, its an ok start. The Professor is starting to blame himself for her cheating. I wouldn't expect anything less from a self hating Liberal. I can only hope that he grows a spine, divorces her and gets some payback from Rob.

This is the best first part to a story to pop up here in a very long time. To the people who seem to need LW to be a safe space intended purely for hating women and fantasizing about how they’d kill the other guy and not go to jail and win the lottery and write a book and everyone would recognize them for the perfect person they secretly are...sorry for your loss. There are like a hundred historical stories on here grumbling about Obama or making Clinton jokes. You can probably handle this one.

Could have done without her simpering about his intellectual superiority.

"Do you deny that you have been [keeping secrets]?" - I notice that she says that she's been a "good wife,"."honest." and "faithful," but never actually denies keeping secrets!

"I never meant to hurt you . . ." - I know it's part of the, dare I say it, "formula," but just how do they think that having an affair won't hurt their husbands?

"You are a wonderful man, a brilliant scholar, the perfect father to the girls, and a better husband than I deserve, I know. What would make you think I don't respect you?" - Um, because you CHEATED on him?

She was SO unhappy with it, that when he gave her a chance to come clean, and stop it on her own, she refused until he threw it in her face!

She needed "different." I know for those who have read my comments over the years that I'm sounding like a broken record, but it never occurred to her that HE might need something "different," that maybe she should offer him the same opportunity that she reserved for herself? If their love life is so boring, what has SHE done to make it more exciting?

"dickhead was due for some retribution" - That's simple - tell his wife. Make Ellen confirm it if he doesn't have solid evidence; maybe she knows some identifying mark on his body!

Why not get a bed for the office? Then he wouldn't have to leave the house.

Minor point - Fall isn't busy for caterers? Between fall weddings and holiday parties I would think that they'd be quite busy!

"If I was Anna, and you were Karenin, it would be the most boring novel ever." - WOW, I'll bet THAT helps! Wasn't her need for more excitement part of why she cheated?

"The man was nothing; he was just attached to-" - Two problems here! "Nothing?" So she cheated on him for nothing? "He was just attached to [a beautiful (big?) cock.] - Gee I bet THAT makes him feel just great!

She "never wanted this," but just what did she think would happen when she cheated. Did she think that she her husband could never find out? Just what would she do if the roles were reversed?

"Yes, our sex life did get a bit boring, but I don't blame you for that. I should have talked to you about it." - Bingo!

LOL, she leaves her cell phone lying around, and lover boy doesn't care who might see a text, and she thought that she could get away with an affair? How could she not tell him to never call or text her unless she contacted him first?

I'm sorry, it's too soon to be interceding with the kids on her behalf!

What blame does he have? Getting a little out of shape, not being an exciting enough lover? If that's blame, then there wouldn't be a faithful marriage left!

@Anonymous Re: "Others have already brought up a certain point" - Excellent point! For a presumably intelligent woman, for her to not figure out that he knows is ridiculous! Never mind still planning on meeting lover boy, but to NOT give him the honesty that he's demanding.

Re: politics - Hey, characters are supposed to be real people. Real people have political views. They may or may not reflect the author's. You may or may not agree with them. So what?

RAAC? Though I do feel that this seems likely to end in a reconciliation, I don't see it as RAAC. If it was RAAC, it would have ended right here with him accepting her word that it was over, never to be repeated, hug-hug, kiss-kiss, end of story. Just the fact that the kids have been told, he's moving out, says that there will be a cost to any reconciliation, i.e. NOT RAAC!

Not a bad beginning. You really don't convey just how devastated the husband really should be in this situation. Or maybe he really isn't that deeply in love with his wife. It is very common for the betrayed spouse to say that the discovery of the affair is THE single most painful event they have ever experienced. Even eclipsing a rape or the loss of a limb ( according to accounts from marriagebuilders.com). So you have a huge amount of material to draw from for the husbands reactions and emotions. To me he just seems too detached. He should be going through a whole range of emotions, often many at the same time. He should be expressing many of these emotions even if he's alone at the time. He doesnt have to cry in his beer with his friends. Or break down in front of the wife or kids. As far as the trust issue goes.

It will be many, many months if not years before trust is reestablished. A few days to a couple of weeks is just too short. The wife is unrealistic there. Recovery time for trust and other major issues is about TWO YEARS on average with good counseling. Probably impossible without.

The wife's reaction to being discovered isn't typical, but o.k., we'll roll with it. Her suggesting handing over passwords and account information and having absolutely no secrets is also not typical BUT it is also one of the things a cheating spouse SHOULD be willing to do if they want to really try to save any type of relationship with their spouse. The marriage is really dead whether they formally divorce or not. Whatever they build afterwards certainly it will not be the same marriage. That unique relationship has been totally and completely destroyed. That being said, people have stayed together and built stronger (second) marriages. Her willingness to answer any of his questions is also not typical BUT is also vital to the husband IF he requests it. Typically the cheating spouse is reluctant to share those details with the betrayed spouse. Sometimes its to spare the betrayed spouses feelings and not cause additional pain. Sometimes its to keep the fond memories for themselves. Typically the betrayed spouse wants the answers, in whatever level of detail they need, so they can try to process what has happened to their world. The cheater has the complete picture. The betrayed spouse needs their help so they can deal with the situation and prepare to move on with their life. The cheater just wants to move past this painful episode and leave it in their past. But the betrayed spouse has to put the picture together first, before they can wrap their head around it and move forward.

The choice to tell the children is actually often the preferred one. Along with informing other family members and close friends. Affairs usually can only exist in the shadows. By informing others it makes it difficult for the cheating spouse to relapse. As as the kids go, the affair affects them also. It's a family unit. If dad was a crack addict, his habit would affect the whole family. If mom was gambling away the mortgage money, it would affect the whole family.

Sorry this is so long, but you requested feedback on your first effort and I hope this helps in some small way.

Good start, do a little bit more research between chapters and you will have a solid story, whichever direction you want to take it.

I’ll never understand why writers submit a first chapter of a story before they’ve written the entire story. I normally wouldn’t bother reading a Chapter One, given how many of these stories end with the first chapter, but I figured there must be something special about this one. As with many of these types of stories, the story begins at the end. The relationship is already broken as soon as the story begins. We know nothing about these characters when we learn that cheating has occurred.

The entire point of the story is the lecture. “Bad dog!” Slap the wife across the snout with a rolled-up newspaper. Repeat until the hurt goes away. It’s a winning formula.

I admit I read the story because of the repeated comments about “politics.” I seem to have missed that. Was it the off-hand swipe at “poorly-educated” Americans?

I was enjoying the story until the political shot. As this was a first effort I was doing my usual editing while reading and not finding any errors until the "asshat" comment. I almost quit reading and skipped to the end to make a snarky coment... oh forget it. No one really cares so why bother. But then again, the author obviously is intelligent and considered his cheap shot. Notice: I have not said anything about "Barry". One star, and won't bother reading subsequent chapters.

Keep it going!! Finally got one that shows some thought and effort. Please don't keep us waiting to long. I could do without the political opinion but it's YOUR story So l don't mind, and if I don't mind you won't mind (because this is MY note) I voted for Trump and I'm sure glad I did! 😉 It's 5!!

t

I looked at your BIO and it was filled with "No Answer". Just a few answers on it would have given great credence to your style of writing. If you were a male you could be writing this from first hand experience, if you were female you could be writing this from a clinical point of view as you interpreted the males feelings. If you are just making this up as you go it will reflect poorly in your later chapters.

I too would rather not see political views unless it has a direct relationship to the story as in one where the wife was fucking the leader of one party when she was a card carrying member of the other.

I would like to say that after Ellen called Rob to say she wasn't coming and it was all over because he knew and then said she would do anything to win Dan's trust back I wish you would have had Dan tell her to call Ann in Texas and confess to her.

As I don't have an analytical brain and don't really care about clinical terminology I hope you don't go down that direction either. Not everyone who reads Literotica is an academic, some of us are just good old boy's who just want to read a good story.

Look forward to your next installment.

Wake up, assclown! The 99.9% are enriched just as well!

“I’m in awe of your intelligence!” BARF!

If you live in the US, YOU are a one percenter. Enjoy your status. Taking down that oligarchy would cost YOU dearly. Take that to the bank. You opened the door. Next time don't

Your fourth paragraph opening sentence, "You probably want to know how often we had sex, too." is a shut down for me. It was not the first. I am looking for a story and not something akin to a bonfire tale.

You are the author and I am hear to read so do not assume the audience wants to be led around by character talking to them from off the page. Delete those type of entries and pace the story properly.

This is a great first effort. I await the next parts. Yeah, if you insert politics you piss off the douche bags on either the right or left drying on what was said. Stick to erotica, it's the common denominator.

More than one story has considered the catering business an excellent way to make money and full of opportunities for quick hookups. I really do not see how she could have the regular hours and the weekends free that she seems to have. In that business there is no difficulty in arranging time for nookie. I am impressed by the

protagonist but after all he is an anthropologist and has some idea about the nature of the human beast.

Just because Rob is a lawyer, if he had no problem going after Ellen after one meeting that she catered he probably had no problem going after other women. The story didn't say how many times a week she went to him, just that it had been going on for six weeks. If Ellen wasn't the only one he was enjoying while in their city then she could be exposed to STD's. At 42 she is still in her child bearing years (though closer to the end) yet you didn't say if she was on birth control or if they used condoms. I understand these can be addressed in later chapters but a little heads up would peek the intrests.

This, your sixth paragraph lulled me to boredom.

(Yes, I know I said I think I'm the better cook. Meg might agree; cooking is what she brings to the partnership. Ellen handles the business side of the business, and she's pretty good at it.)

Too much character input to my adept personal imagery. Do you believe readers to be vacant vessels in need of being told this to understand your husband characters motivations?

Try this in Paragraph one.

"Our friendly kitchen competition pre-marriage, and again by the unanimous consent of our daughters, I have been voted a better cook than my wife. She seems content with that division of labor. I love it."

Perfect husband has a cheating wife. Wow.

He obviously knew she was cheating on him so why did she deny it and try tonleave? Its like shes a 14 yr old. Ridiculously stupid.

Real characters, real pain and hurt experienced by everyone- including the kids, and real consequences. The damage to the relationships coupled with shattered trust really nailed me. There may be reconciliation but the marriage can and will never be the same.

Don't be discouraged by the rambling comments made by the people who just have

to share their vindictive viewpoints

Good story - written so that it could be read smoothly - and that's what it is all about

cgv

Looking forward to reading the following chapters.

Frankly, I'm surprised in the all the panty knotting from commenters over the anecdotal political mention . Good grief , much ado about a nothing burger ( to coin a phrase ) move on.

To the author ... take Swingerjoe with a grain of salt. If the story doesn't promote swinging and willing cuckolding , then no story is worthy to him.

Good start ... 4 stars.

Common thing - author starts story all excited. Author bangs out a beginning chapter. Author gets writers block or gets bombed and the 2nd chapter MAYBE happens. More problems deciding where to go with the story, more bad comments. The next chapter never happens and the readers are left with an unfinished story. Posting once a week just doesn't get it. You fail to hold people's interest and people give up on the story.

Badly done.

Nice character development. I didn't like the political commentary. The assclown and his indiscretions, I assume you were talking about Bill Clinton, that icon of the Democrat Party? If you want half of the readers to keep reading, stick to the story.

That assclown could have been JFK. Or, as you thought, Clinton. Or Trump. Or... Almost makes one pine for Ford, Carter, either Bush. It would be nice to have a POTUS who at least respected their wife. On the positive side, the inability to keep it in ones pants is non-partisan.

This appears to be the same old story but can be more. Develop your characters, avoid the stereotypes. Husband is, as seems to be the norm, arrogant and self righteous . . . No wonder he didn't want one of the possible therapists to be clergy. Move beyond it being about his hurt. Deal with the familial issues, don't let the kids be just pawns. And don't fear reconciliation. Brilliant men are not single minded.

The guy barely shows any emotion at all and is completely bending over backwards to make everything easy for his cheating wife to get away with it for the most part....what a sick fuck....either he's a cold fish or one of those limp-wristed professors who are so caught up in their "intellectualism" that they have no real back bone left....no wonder she cheated on him....he's a complete pussy.

Funny, when I read part about supporters covering up for all the indiscretions, I thought the setting for story was 1990s and you were writing about Billy's willie.

Not to mention all his top per cent friends.

For once I am in step with reedrichards when it came to casting vote the name he assigned to losing candidate

You are obviously someone who has written other stuff before. Very nicely done. I have only one comment and suggestion: you use too many commas. Try reading your material OUT LOUD, pausing for each comma. You'll drop a bunch of them.

As to politics: All politicians are corrupt one way or the other... and I mean all. I grew up in Chicago and wouldn't have voted for Mr. Obama if he was far right, moderate or far left: he was a Chicago politician. I spent several years in Arkansas: same goes for Hilary. Trump is a buffoon. He's smart, but still an unthinking buffoon.

There, I hope that I've irritated everyone but the author.

Your offering is as good a Chapter1 as I have read on this site.

Hopefully, you will keep to your one a week time table.

You would probably hold more readers if you didn’t inject your political views into the story. Readers come here for entertainment, not more decisive political views. All in all a good first chapter.

It was a good start, and I look forward to where things go from here, but I have some mixed feelings on the main character:

* The Good: He seems pretty set on the importance of trust, and he's pretty clear on how she's comprehensively shattered that. That gives a clear starting position, and tells us what the primary hurdle is going to be to any sort of reconciliation. He's decisive and clear on his feelings, which is better than a lot of the passive-aggressive ditherers that show up in LW stories.

* The Bad: The husband seems pretty emotionless. He clearly communicates how deeply he's been hurt, but doesn't honestly seem to be hurt all that much. He seems to move pretty quickly from claiming to feel devastated, to calm rational discussions about counseling and spending time watching a movie with her.

* Bad #2: Taking the blame for the affair isn't necessarily a bad tactical move, since it immediately takes that part of the discussion off the table, and figuring out who's to blame honestly isn't that important as compared to whether there's enough trust/respect to move forward with. if he honestly *believes* that he's to blame for the affair, then he's a moron that I don't have any interest reading about. Whether or not their sex life could have been improved, she robbed him of the chance of either (a) having the opportunity to make things better and save their marriage, or (b) also going outside the marriage and getting the same excitement she got. Whatever problems their marriage had, they both share the blame for getting there, so it's a wash; the problem caused by the cheating, however, are all just on her.

* Bad #3: "your mother had reasons for what she did, which we are NOT going to go into" WTF? If I'm one of his kids, the only rational way I'm reading that is that the husband cheated on his wife first or did something else equally unforgivable, and she just had a revenge affair. I get trying to make the kids stay neutral, but he's doing the exact fucking opposite here by telling them that she was justified in what she did (followed by him moving out, giving his wife more time to bond with the kids and making them sympathize with her). I mean, c'mon, this is going to be a devastating time for the kids, and if the wife isn't at fault, well, there's only one person left to blame for all the hurt they're going through. I don't know if he doesn't grasp the implications of shouldering all the blame, or (more likely) the author just doesn't plan on making him face those implications. (Yeah, it's all well and good and heroic-sounding to *say* that you're going to take the high road and not tell the kids anything that might harm their relationship with their mother, but it's another to honestly sit there and let your kids give you half the blame for pain that you're suffering through as well.)

The big problem for me is that I really don't see how a reconciliation is plausible here. You had the husband bend over backwards, making clear to her that he knew about the affair without actually saying the words, and giving her every opportunity to come clean, and she not only lied right to his face, she (almost bafflingly) wasn't even willing to take the lesser step of denying it but staying home to try to calm things down.

That's pretty cold-blooded. I don't see how any rational person could believe or trust her after that. Yeah, yeah, counseling to get to the root of her problems and lots of psychobabble, but you need trust that it's not just a performance where she's just saying whatever she thinks he wants to hear, and she's pretty much burned up all the trust any sane person would extend to her.

I can enjoy a good reconciliation story, where the wife earns her redemption. Here, however, the fact that the husband's starting position is that the wife was somehow justified in having the affair and it's all his fault makes it sound like we're heading into RAAC territory.

Good work, so far. You've really hit raw emotion dead center. If you can keep it on these two, you will have a GREAT story. Though you will have to touch it, I wouldn't dwell too much on the how, and when, with Rob. It could spoil what you're aiming for. But then, I just read, never write, these stories, so what do I know? First part gets a very high 5*.

Great start. I do have a few comments but please keep in mind they are only my personal observations. I'm sure others will disagree but if you can take anything from them that helps your efforts then great.

I thought the first few paragraphs were boring. Describing their physical features like that and that line; "You probably want to know how often we had sex, too," was almost too much for me. I almost stopped reading at that point. I'm glad I didn't because the rest of the story was written with intelligence and done very well.

The only other suggestion is to not publish until it's done. If you publish in chapters then wait until all the chapters are done then publish them one day after the other. If the reader has to wait for a week or two before seeing what happens next they get bored and forget the stuff they read prior.

Good work and congratulations on your first story. I gave a 5 so far.

First, its a very good beginning. 5* from me.

Second, many stories contain political views, from the soldier character thinking that he is fighting for freedom when he is just laying claim to an oil and gas rich territory in foreign land, to the writer that says that all female judges are feminists, liberal bitches, everything is political. No big deal, it helps describe the characters.

Third, for ScorpioJJ who wrote "Gave it 1* as soon as I saw that political paragraph

The story isn't too bad, might have given it a 3 or 4 if not for the politics. Is the author an elitist academic like the character or is it just the character? Either way it was unnecessary to alienate half the audience." That's a bit under half the US audience (45%), not the world audience one that mostly sees Trump with the same distaste as they look at Jong-Un Kim.

very nicely done. I think you can write here with the best of them. Thank you for your story

. . . but I admit I am not a writer. That said, while I found the writing quality fine, I found the first part of the story to be strangely flat and emotionless. Not sure that I can say why - I'm not that smart - but that's the way the story came across. Perhaps the following chapters will be more satisfying. Also, to echo Laptopwriter's comments below, it's inconsiderate and insensitive to your readers to stretch your chapters out over an extended period of time. I keep thinking back to Tx Tall Tales story, "A Town Without Honor" that he started back in March, 2017, and we are still waiting for the final chapter. Very bad form. Anyway, I do look forward to the completion. Unfortunately, the writing quality in Loving Wives has not been the best lately. This is a small breath of fresh air, I guess.

Just because a character has a political thought doesn't mean that the author shares it. If a character has a certain religious belief, does that mean that the author shares it? What if two different characters espouse opposing political or religious beliefs?

Chapters - I wouldn't necessarily say that everything has to be "ready-to-go." If that's the case, why not just post as one long story. But everything should be written, so that editing and posting can proceed smoothly.

Author's sex - If it matters to you, don't rely on the name to reveal it! Besides flat-out lying (shocking!), this author's name is "wendylicker." That could mean somebody who licks Wendy! Could be either sex! Maybe it's "Wendy the Licker," but there's still no proof that the author is female.

Good job. As HDK said, this is the easy part. Well, not easy, and you did it well, I don't mean to diminish that. I hope they do find a way to work it out. I will enjoy a reconciliation ending just as much as any other. Enjoy the ride, have fun, ignore the negativity. Welcome to Lit.

. . . I found the wife's admission and regret hollow and insincere, and I found the husband's hurt strangely flat and emotionless.

Some read the comments first, then perhaps read the story. I do not. Sir, you are an extremely talented author and I am only a hick that can't write a near decent essay.

I honestly hope that the eventual outcome at the completion of this submission will earn you an elevated standing on LIT, but then again this category can be brutal for any author with all the hate trolls abound. Most readers often don't really realize the energy, time and effort that goes into producing a worthwhile non-BTB, non-RAAC or otherwise true Loving Wives story that ends well.

The submission so far was rather convoluted, perhaps controversial, quite a few renowned members had mild criticism, mostly positive and insightful, but please do not drag it out too long. I reckon character building on the characters were lacking, but since I have no talent or even guts to attempt writing, it may seem to come easy in criticizing other's effort and work. I do not, you are Great.

As a side note, I am an avid reader but no troll, but wish not to sign up as a member due to security reasons, so anonymous it will remain. I don't do hate post.

FW

To try and continue the affair at that point ended their marriage. I cannot see how they can reconcile. But it possible ,trust will be gone for a long time. The man loses in the courts. He has to take a small apt and struggle till get buy untill girls turn eighteen. That a lot of years away ,if she remarries he is off the hook. But that rarely happens ,with to girls,it tough finding a man who would take on a ready made family.his best bet is try reconciliation then when the girls are 14 the courts will let them chose the parent they want to live with. So he needs a post nup too. Stating if she cheats she leaves with nothing.

I normally don't start multi-chapter stories until they're fully posted, but I'm glad I read this one. You have a lot of potential as an author, as some of our favorite storytellers on this site have already pointed out.

Unlike some others, I found the political jokes unoffensive -- but I firmly believe that they're pretty much all crooks and clowns in DC anyway.... ;-)

Looking forward to the next installments -- thanks for contributing here in the bubbling cauldron of Loving Wives!

Very good for your first effort. You have captured what draws me to these stories...reall emotion and the true consequences of cheating on your lifelong mate.

Your writing brings out the visceral nature of these types of situations.

Your writing is clean and crisp.

I don't agree with your politics, but that is ok...it's your story.

One request....Please don't draw this story out over weeks. I'm still waiting for some of my favorite authors to add chapters and finish stories. It's downright cruel to keep your readers on edge not for days but weeks and even months.

Accept the criticism of your readers, but ignore the insensitive worthless criticism from the meanies on this site. There are many who don't write stories but get their jollies on viciously attacking some of the writers . You will find that there are many of those.

Good job and keep up the good writing!

One of the best first chapters I have seen here in quite a while. 5*

Author, this is not your first creation, no way. Perhaps not on this site? Perhaps under another or alternative alias? A couple team/joint effort?

Why not update your profile so you seem less sexless, have a domicile somewhere in this universe, have not been cloned and have attachment (or not), have interests, fetishes, weaknesses, strengths, time line (age) and all those human traits. Be brave.

Great submission so far, ignore the negatives, you are talented.

Wonderfully plotted. Great character development. Have been a marriage counselor(PhD shrink) since 1972. Author has really written about the hurt, pain, angst of this kind of situation. Has gotten it right too about the process that is frequently necessary even if it is only to have a full life after ending the marriage. One thing just for irony. In talking with colleagues and in my experience therapy is more successful with infidelity than if the situation is about money. A five plus story.

I applaud your effort. Very well-written story. My only (mild) criticism is that the husband seems too detached and unemotional for my taste. I recognize that he's a professor and lives more in the mind than in the emotion, but cheating like this should have him livid, rather than flat. Otherwise, good work! -- JRZ

For the story development 5*

For the idea that a cheated on husband could ever truly trust again 0*

Academic ideals are just that, academic. When you get into the real world and out of the fantasy you could probably have a truly great story.

BTW, why does it confound the liberals that a business man can actually do the things they have been whining about for centuries? Or is it because he's actually doing it instead of just talking about it?

Good character development. Dialogue is a bit too wordy. Keep the politics out of your story. Good job on illustrating the various perspectives.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Good start - looking forward to Chapter 2

Looking forward to part 2

And obviously attracting a lot of attention from the commentariat.

As others have said, there were a few clunky bits at the beginning (eg: addressing the reader with "I guess you want to know about our sex life") but once the story got moving I felt that it moved along well. As others have also said, posting the first chapter without having the follow-up chapters at ready can be a mistake. (Here I speak from personal experience.)

I felt that I knew Dan quite well. His character was well developed. As an academic, he could well be a man who intellectualises the situation as he does through this chapter.

I know very little about Ellen. I have no idea of what motivated her adulterous behaviour -- maybe we'll find out during the counselling sessions in subsequent chapters. Dan gave her no opportunity when he staged the tricksy confrontation when she was about to go out to her liaison.

That scene was written to put her in a situation where it could only be expected that she would have to lie as she had been doing on her previous outings, thus demonstrating her untrustworthiness. The rest of the story depended upon his subsequent feelings of distrust.

I look forward to seeing where the story goes from here.

Lue

Ps: WendyLicker, others have commented on your uninformative biog notes. I also like to know something about new authors when they burst onto the scene with an interesting story. It helps with understanding a story to know something about the influences on an author. (Unlike those who assumed female authorship, I have my doubts. A female author would have Ellen fleshed out more.)

As soon as I read this about the president I quit reading and will not read anymore of your garbage.

The president is an assclown. Sorry if the truth hurts.

BTW - good story.

...for the rest of it.

I wonder if Rob will get his comeuppance?

Oh, and mechanically very sound too, which i really like.

I don't understand the need many writers have to add their political viewpoint. If I wanted politics I wouldn't be surfing an erotic literature site. I read to get away from that crap and couldn't care less what you think about Trumpet or Obummer. I often wonder if it's just used to add to the word count.

I doubt that a voluntary editor could improve storyline, spelling and grammar significantly. Congretulations! You are probably an experienced writer - wellcome on Lit-LW.

And don't give a shit about the haters who take one remark about "the president" as an excuse to one-bomb this fine story. IMO, the political opinion is an important part of a character.

Where are all these critical commenters when another author from the other side of the political spectrum openly includes mysogynist or racist opinions in a story? I never complained about these aspects before, even if it annoys me (as a European) very much if I find opinions like that in a story.

The Trump-supporters must be very insecure if such a little comment (inserted as a thought of the protagonist) irates them so much. Poor America!

Clearly 5* from me - Waiting for Chapter 2!

I liked your story thus far and you've given yourself a demanding task to get to a finish, given the stakes you've laid out in Dan's approach to The Confrontation. Viz., the good old Trust issue. I don't know if you have the story's end clearly in mind; if not, I'd recommend you get that nailed down and then work backwards in a "How do they get there" process. You've left Ellen's character fairly open as to what was going on with her -- if you can develop something other than the very conventional "I was bored" or "he made me feel young again" or some such all-too-typical pablum. The accidental discovery of the text message is a nice turn, too, but the content is quite conventional.

Good luck.

BTW: EVERY writer needs an editor; the better the writer, the more important the editor is. Professional authors (e.g., Tom Wolf) exchange 4, 5, 6 or more drafts with their professional editors. They always thank them in the introductions and they mean it!

I'm not reading this for your political opinion. It has no relevance to your story and pisses off at least half of your audiance. I'm ready to read your next chapter but if you have anymore political bs I'm done.

or Ms. Anonymous will not read it...

Who cares?

I don't think anyone does...go on with your story please.

Please no more political views.

They are all crooks, from the idiot we have now, to the jobless fuck we had before, to the hack that was impeached and made witnesses disappear ever since whitewater. And don't get me started on the fucking bush family. Just like the others said........keep politics out of my escape room. Other than that...... i'm interested and will read the rest of this story. Thank you.