Meretrix Augusta

I know now that even if they achieved it it would have fallen into ruin, as all empires and kingdoms eventually do. Why was I so blind? The dream had been telling me all this from the start, if I had realised it earlier perhaps I could have convinced Messalina of the foolishness of kingdoms.

All I could do was watch helplessly as she brought about her own downfall. Whilst the emperor was away in Ostia she married Gaius Sillius, who had divorced his own wife, whilst Messalina was still wed to Claudius. In true Messalina style, she attended the nuptiae wearing only a laurel, her naked splendour on show for all to appreciate. As if to prove to me the ceremony meant nothing to her she insisted we arrive freshly fucked. So we spent the morning in a lupanar. Our bodies had absorbed most of our hard earned fluids but there were still trace stains on Messalina's breasts as she walked to the altar, still giddy from the semen. I watched her go, knowing this would come to no good end.

Sillius was beaming, clearly obsessed with her like her many other high ranking lovers who attended. I noted Mnester was amongst the crowd, to my surprise I even saw Senator Rufus there. There was no jealousy, no one expected her to be faithful, indeed her free spirit was what had them all captivated by her. But none of them had the deep feelings for her that I did, as such I did not smile or clap as the vows were given.

She had slaves enact just about every possible sexual act for entertainment afterwards. Some of the attending ladies fainted when the slaves performed the more scandalous positions. It was a celebration fitting and typical of Messalina, were it not for my worries I would have enjoyed the festivities fully.

******

Then the heartbreaking day came.

We were lounging in the Gardens of Lucullus, at the nymphaeum oddly enough, laughing and joking together and speaking excitedly of the delights we would have at the lupanar that night. We were on a white bench. Rome had a strange love for marble, a taste I shared since it had similar colours to my main diet. We were strangely at ease that day, as carefree as when Messalina had first introduced me to Lycisca. The tension between us that we never spoke of was absent. There was no argument over the coming assassination. That day we were just two Lilitu enjoying the pleasures life had to offer us.

There was a commotion at one of the entrances. A tearful woman of mature years ran in, clutching a dagger to her chest, guards chasing close behind. She screamed Messalina's name.

Shocked, Messalina rose, "Lepida?"

Surprised, I took in Messalina's natural mother. I say natural mother, upon awakening we tend to regard our deity as our true mother, the bodies we are born from just a means of our existence. Naturally she was not beautiful like Messalina, but the vague similarities were there. Me beloved walked over to Lepida and they conversed in hushed and panicked tones. I watched this awhile, growing more and more disturbed. I rose and was about to go to her when Messalina turned back to me, "My love, a pressing issue has arisen which I must attend to. Forgive me but I cannot join you tonight. Please go ahead now and enjoy yourself."

The concern did not abate. She nearly always gave me a time which I was to return to her, neither of us being able to be without one another long. "Beloved, what is it? Is it regarding Sillius?" I said Sillius rather than the assassination, for I doubt Lepida was involved in the plot.

"There is no time to argue." She embraced and kissed me, sending me flushing with need of her again, "I love you, Scylla. Please, I need you to do as I say now more than ever."

"I love you, Messalina." Never had words meant so much to me, and been so woefully inefficient at conveying my feelings, "When shall I return?"

She considered this a moment, then shook her head, "I know not how long this will last. Go to one of my own lupanars at every sunrise, when all is well I shall have a messenger placed at each one to send you to me."

Fretting for her but knowing my presence would only distress her further, I did as she bid.

With a heavy heart I left the magnificent garden and Messalina for the city. I was sick with worry for her, my stomach in knots. All I could do was the Lilitu equivalent of an alcoholic. I fucked and drank in cum until the drunkeness came upon me. I walked the streets and fucked madly, tossing away the obols even as they gave them to me. When possible I would take several at once, seeking to smother my anguish with my lust.

Still, I would seek out one of her lupanar each morning, to find no messenger waiting for me there. My anxiety rising with each sunrise, I would return to the street again. I should have been happy, I was living solely as Lilitu again, after so long. My days and nights were with client after client, a never ending series of orgasms and the taste of semen, separated only by the brief moments when I would check at the lupanar for the messenger. But I wanted to live as Lilitu with my love beside me, I wanted us to enjoy the delights gifted to our kind together.

Then, one terrible morning, I heard the news. I was in a narrow alley, a client hammering into my anus. I moaned in pleasure at the violation and as usual let the obols slip from my fingers into the drain. I barely took in the herald at first, public affairs were human concerns, not mine. But when I heard Messalina's name I took note.

As the client ejaculated his seed into my rectum I gasped in both pleasure and horror as the news of Messalina's death was made public.

As the man, spent, went on his way I could only fall to the pavement and numbly listen to the news. The herald listed some of Messalina's debaucheries, ending it with her and Sillius' failed plot to kill the current emperor. With t he exception of Senator Rufus who revealed the marriage and plot, all who had attended the illegal wedding were executed. As if to add insult to injury, they accused them both of failing to do the honourable thing. Sillius was executed and Messalina, though offered a dagger by her respected mother, could not do it and was killed by an officer instead.

For hours I could only sit there, passersby choosing to ignore the naked whore slumped in the alley. Of course, my aura still brought men, and my inhuman body still craved for them, uncaring for my feelings. I woodenly took them into me, distantly embracing my harlotry still, whilst the core of me was in grief for my Messalina. Eventually I rose, coins falling away, and aimlessly walked the streets. She was gone now, all I could do was live as Lilitu as I had wanted, albeit alone.

As days went by and I continued in this manner I began to piece things together and realise they did not make sense. I cursed at myself for not realising sooner. The main nonsense was that Messalina was killed by a dagger. We Lilitu are virtually immortal, I had no idea what could exactly kill us, if anything, but I doubted a simple dagger thrust would do it.

Part of me was tempted to go to the lupanar or rush to the palace for answers, but a damnatio memoriae had been declared against the former empress. Every statue and object giving her memory was to be destroyed. I had no doubt that her favourite slave would be no exception.

If I was to discover what really happened, I had to be careful about it. I needed to find one who claimed to witness her death.

Considering what I am it was not hard. A gentle question to a client here, a thought spoken aloud to a suitor there, and soon I was in a barracks full of sleeping soldiers.

As I crept in I ached to awake them all and let an orgy begin. Although asleep they sensed my aura and their dreams turned sordid. But there was only one I sought there this night. Lying on his bunk was the one who apparently killed the empress himself. With a grace that came with ease to my kind I picked up a sword, straddled the sleeping officer and placed it at his throat. A hand over his mouth, a harsh jab and he was awake. There was lust in his eyes as he awoke from his dreams to find the object of it on him. Then there was fear when he felt the blade against his jugular. "I know you did not kill Messalina. You are going to tell me the truth, understand? You are going to tell me quietly."Whatever he had been paid was not worth his life. He nodded and I removed my hand. I felt his erection through the sheets and had to fight my own rising urges, "Speak!"

"You are like her, aren't you?" It was not really a question, so I did not answer it. "She did not die, at least I don't think so. But it cannot get out. If the people learn that the empress was a witch the emperor's credibility will be destroyed. There will be rebellion, chaos."

I pressed the blade closer, "Do not deviate, what happened to her?"

He went pale as he recollected it, "I was beside her mother who gave her the dagger. Lepida chided her for acting like a whore and demanded she rescue their family's reputation by at least ending herself. The empress said nothing, she took the dagger and seemed to admire her looks in the blade. Then she quietly turned and went to a nearby fountain and looked at her reflection in the pool.

"We thought she was gathering courage to do it, so we did not hurry her. But she stared into the water a long time, until the dagger fell from her hands and she stepped into the water. "She fell in as though it were a well. We ran over there but she was nowhere to be seen. I hopped into the water myself but it was only a few inches deep, sure as the sword you have at my neck. There was no door hidden there, the waters did not even ripple as she fell in. It was clearly witchcraft."

The faint hope that I had gained died. I instinctively knew that she had been taken to Gamaliel, to whore herself to those monsters for eternity. Although I did not feel any blame, she had broken her promise.

"Please, I have a family." I slit his throat and walked out, leaving a red spray to pollute the air. His gurgled cries awoke no one, lost as they were to dreams of me.

I left Rome and did what I had wanted Messalina and I to do together. I traveled from land to land as diabolares, experiencing new sensations that my kind delight in so much. My grief faded to a fragile scar, occasionally reopening.

Sometimes when I passed a large mirror or reflective surface I would press myself against it, begging them to take me also, anything to let me be with her. I would call for her also, telling her she promised we would go together.

So I went on living as Lilitu, sex incarnate. I sought the seediest districts of every city, my natural habitat. Only a couple more times over the centuries did I come across another of my kind, but they did not have the effect that Messalina had on me, beautiful though they were. My life was one an unending orgy from then on, all preparing me for the day I am to go to where my kind belong, to my true home.

Only once have I dreamt of that world with my love in it. She was there, legs wide, being gang-fucked by those things unendingly. Stuffed full of cock and saturated with their seed. I saw her eyes and I saw the bliss there, when I awoke I cried out, longing to be with her, to be beside her whoring myself to those creatures eternally. With my love gone my lust for that world easily overtook my fear. But I never heard their call.

Until now...

Epilogue: A Room Full of Doorways

"Until now?" Black repeated, looking up from his laptop. God I want her, he thought, please open yourself to me when this is done sweet Lilitu.

Scylla gave Black a smile that made him whimper quietly with want, "I have been hearing the calls of late, after all these centuries it is finally time. Gamaliel calls to me, my new clients demand my services. Most of all, Messalina is there, awaiting my companionship. I can see them in the mirror now, as surely as you see your own reflection."

Painful though it was to take his eyes from her, Black nervously looked at the mirrors and shifted away from them. Sure enough he saw nothing save himself and Scylla on their surfaces. "How can you go to that hell?"

Scylla took a deep breath and rose gracefully, "Hell? To your kind it is perhaps, but to mine it is paradise. No, not paradise. It is home."

She stepped towards one of the larger mirrors. "Wait." Black realised she was leaving, the thought was unbearable, "Please, I need you, please." He rummaged in his pocket and pulled out his loose change, "I have two coins, not obols but satang here." Seeing her unmoved he grew desperate, "You are Lilitu, a whore priestess, you claim to open your legs to all but deny me? What bull is this!"

Scylla stepped from the mirror and kneeled beside him, "You have those things called sites where you can post this, no? You could do that now?"

Black glanced at the icon, he had just about enough signal, "Yeah I know a few."

"Post them there now." Utterly lost to her, he did as she bid, posting her beloved's life on various sites and hoping at least a few would get past the moderators. When done Scylla gently put his laptop to one side and held his head gently in both her slender hands, "I'm afraid I can no longer provide my services to your kind. Instead I will gift you with the name of my goddess, the things in the mirror finally revealed it to me. Her true name, not the crass titles they give her here." Black wept at the rejection, but waited astutely for the name of the goddess who created this perfect creature.

Black screamed as she did so, every inhuman syllable, impossible for mortal tongues to utter or comprehend, drilling through his ears and tearing his sanity apart. Some of the smaller mirrors cracked as reality was assaulted by sounds that did not belong there.

Scylla got up, leaving Black drooling in the foetus position on the floor. She returned to the mirror and spread her arms wide, her loins burned in eagerness, "I am ready. Take me to my love."

The last thing Black saw before the remnants of his logical mind dissolved were numerous shadow limbs reaching out the mirror, taking hold of Scylla and hungrily pulling her in. Once fully in every mirror in the room burst into shards, unable to stand the visions they had wrought to her any longer. She was gone, lost to a world of endless depravity. Knowing he would never see such a magnificent creature again, Black had no desire to stay sane. No desire to go on. He consoled himself with the possibility that, reunited with eachother at last, this was a happy ending for his mistress. Hard as that was to accept.

The authorities found him there, crying and rocking like an infant amidst the mirror shards. At first when they read the decadent story on his laptop they thought he had set up a hoax, hoping to make a mint like those claiming their homes are haunted. As it became clear his mind was gone they instead assumed he had a bad trip with drugs that fried his mind permanently. He was eventually taken to a carehome where he remained until his death, whilst the story circulated the web, giving the curious a glimpse into the horrors and pleasures creation has to offer.