Mrs. Hart's Ache Ch. 13

bagman – the low-ranking person in an illicit enterprise who carries the incriminating item and thus is chargable for the offense if arrested

bald look – a hairless vulva, usually achieved by shaving or plucking the pubic hair.

ball-gag – a rubber or plastic ball large enough to fit a person's mouth, with straps and buckles to secure the harness to that person's head.

balls – testicles.

BDA – Battle (or Bomb) Damage Assessment; the after-action intelligence assessment of damage to the enemy.

bellyring – a jewelled decoration of the belly button, usually involving piercing of the navel.

Bimmer – the acronym for a car manufactured by the Barvarian Motor Works; see 'Beamer'; see 'BMW'.

bisexual – a person who enjoys sexual relations with members of either gender.

bitch – a pejorative term for a female; occasionally for a male.

bitch (my) – a pejorative term describing a person, male or female, who is subserviant to another; there are heavy sexual connotations attached to the term.

blowjob – Fellatio; Sucking on a penis, usually to orgasm; oral sex.

Blue Wax – a brand of depilatory wax.

boink(ing) – to fuck; to have sexual intercourse with; fucking.

boy shorts – female shorts or panties designed to look similar to that which was originally designed to be worn by a male.

boytoy – a young male whose purpose is to provide sex and to be an arm decoration for a woman; usually a mature woman.

bustier – a corset-like, tight-fitting, often strapless top worn as a brassiere or outer garment.

CD – Certificate of Deposit.

cherry – Virgin; unbroached; hymen intactus.

clit – Clitoris.

cock – Penis.

coĵones – testicles.

coke – cocaine.

cowgirl (ride) – a sexual position with the woman kneeling upright over her partner as though riding a horse.

cuff – handcuff.

cum – the substance of ejaculation; sperm for males and lubricating secretions for females

cunt – vagina.

cunt – pejorative term for a female.

cupcake – an endearment or a pejorative term for a man or a woman, depending upon usage; in the latter case, it means someone soft, without spine; also used sarcastically.

dick – Penis.

dickface – a pejorative term for a man; asshole; moron; idiot.

dickwad – a pejorative term for a man; asshole; moron; idiot.

dickweed – male pubic hair; a pejorative term for a man; asshole; moron; idiot.

dildo(es) – an artificial penis.

dillhole – a pejorative term for a man; asshole; moron; idiot.

dipstick – moron; asshole; less than perfect specimen of the human male.

dom – short for Dominant; a Master or Mistress; see 'Dominant'.

Dominant – a Master or Mistress; see 'dom'.

dyke – a lesbian.

façade – surface characteristics; not in this case, but can also be a false front.

freakin' – exclamation, used to add emphasis.

fuckdoll – a young female whose purpose is to provide sex and to be an arm decoration for another usually older person, either a man or a woman.

fuckface – a pejorative term for a man; asshole; moron; idiot.

fucktoy – a young male or female whose purpose is to provide sex and to be an arm decoration for another usually older person, either a man or a woman.

gazongas – female breasts, usually large and shapely; see 'balangas'.

gofer – a low-ranking person whose job it is to run errands for higher ranking personnel; a corruption of the words 'go for'.

grand – one thousand dollars.

Homer – Idiot; moron; hopelessly inane and stupid person; from the character Homer Simpson of the animated television series, 'The Simpsons'.

honeymoon wax – to remove pubic hair by covering the groin with a sticky substance then pulling the substance away, thereby plucking the hairs and leaving the groin area completely hairless; the act or result thereof.

jewels – as in 'family jewels'; a man's penis and testicles.

jockeys – men's briefs; underwear.

key(s) – kilogram(s); one kilogram equals 2.2 pounds.

lard-butt – a person with an extremely fat, therefore unattractive, ass; a big, slow-moving butt.

large – one thousand dollars.

mons – Mons Veneris or Mons Pubis; New Latin in origin; literally, 'eminence of Venus'; a rounded eminence of fatty tissue upon the pubic symphysis especially of the human female.

mule – when smuggling drugs, the principals often use others to transport the substance, particularly through Customs, thereby keeping themselves away from the danger of arrest; those actually transporting the substance are known as 'mules'.

nads – gonads; testicles.

needle dick – a pejorative term for a man; the insult is obvious.

nimrod – moron; idiot; incapable of grasping the finer details.

nutsack – scrotum.

package – the crotch area of a man's pants or slacks and how his genitals appear to fit within the area.

panties – female underwear which covers or covers a substantial portion of the pelvic area; panties come in all sizes: bikini, hip-hugger, brief, low-rise, boy-shorts, etc.; see 'thongs'.

pecs – pectoral muscles.

penis-gag – similar to a ball-gag, except the item inserted in the mouth is in the shape of a penis; see 'ball-gag'.

phat wood – a large cock, 8" or more in length with at least a 2" breadth, attached to a man who has the strength, skill and staying power to satisfy a woman.

pimp – a person who solicits clients for a prostitute, and in turn provides protection for the prostitute for which he or she collects a substantial portion of the prostitutes earnings.

PIN – Personal Identification Number; used to access bank accounts, etc.

pleb – us common folk.

posse – a group or gang of friends that hang out together.

pudknocker – a pejorative term for a man; asshole; moron; idiot.

pussy; puss – Vulva; the external genatilia of a woman.

putz – Yiddish for 'penis' or 'dick'.

R&R – rest and relaxation.

reached (for it) – climaxed; to attain orgasm.

sac – testicles.

scarfed – ate informally.

schmo – jerk.

schmuck – Yiddish, literally 'penis'; a dick.

sister – Lesbian; a member of a club for lesbians in this tale.

smooth (pussy) – a vulva without pubic hair, whether shaved, plucked or naturaly hairless.

spreader bar – a bar of metal, wood or plastic which can be attached to a persons wrists and/or ankles to secure that persons limbs open; often used in B&D and S&M scenes.

stay-ups – women's stockings with a band of elasticized material around the thighs designed to hold the stockings in place; see hold-ups'.

stiffy – erection.

stony – broke; bankrupt; penniless.

strap-on – a dildo with a harness which a woman wears strapped to her groin, which allows her to assume the roll of a man while engaging in sexual intercourse.

sub – see 'submissive'.

submissive – a person who attains sexual gratification by submitting to the demands of another.

suck (cock) – to perform, or the act of performing fellatio.

swallow(s) – to orally injest the substance of a male's ejaculation; usually after completing the act of fellatio; to swallow a man's sperm.

sweetcakes – an endearment or a pejorative term for a man or a woman, depending upon usage.

sweetcheeks – an endearment or a pejorative term for a man or a woman, depending upon usage.

sweetmeat – an endearment or a pejorative term for a man or a woman, depending upon usage.

tack – gear used to harness a horse for riding, including saddle, bridle, blanket, etc.

Terminator TX – the female version.

Tinkerbelle – popular variant of 'Tinker Bell', a character in J.M. Barrie's stageplay 'Peter Pan'.

triple – sex with three people participating.

tush – ass; buttocks; rear end; usually female.

VIP – Very Important Pussy – uh Person.

v-string – women's underwear; panties or thong.

wax – a procedure for removing hair; a sticky substance is applied to the area of skin to be denuded, then removed, taking the unwanted hair; see 'Honeymoon wax'.

weedwhacker – a rotary tool, either gas or electric powered used to cut down tall grass and/or weeds.

wet (gets) – becomes sexually excited causing lubricating secretions to seep from a woman's vagina.

zooming or zoomin' – In the state of orgasm.