My Best Friend's Crazy Fat Sister Ch. 07

Fortunately, Emily's mobile phone rang and she answered it when recognizing the caller ID. "Miles, hi what is it?" She listened, and her expression grew even more sour. "Miles, you know I don't teach any classes with weight training, only cardio classes. Of course I can't cover for Linda tomorrow night. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't because my back is dodgy from that injury last year. Jesus Christ Miles, how long have we been teaching group fitness classes together and you still don't know that? Find somebody else."

Emily ended the call without saying goodbye, and turned her attention back to Adam and I, who were edging away trying to make a discrete escape. "Not so fast," she snapped. "What were you doing checking out those two young joggers earlier?"

"How did you ..." Adam began, but Emily cut him off.

"I saw you through the window Adam." Emily pointed at her brown eyes. "What do you think these things in the middle of my head are for, decoration?"

"We weren't checking out the young women who were jogging ..." Adam began, his voice wavering under his wife's ferocious glare, until I stepped in.

"Emily, we saw the girls jogging by and I was just saying to Adam that Zoe has taken up running since she started living with me," I said.

Emily looked surprised. "Zoe? Running?" As a fitness fanatic, Emily of course found this positive but given she was hormonal and it involved a woman she disliked so much, she couldn't bring herself to be completely complimentary and managed to say, "That's nice."

"I think Zoe might have to run to Perth and back a few times to reverse the last few years," Adam laughed.

I shouldn't have laughed, but as Adam had a natural gift for saying funny things and an infectious laugh I did too. Emily did not laugh, her body went rigid with rage and she stared at Adam.

"What kind of a shitty thing is that to say?" Emily demanded of her husband.

"It was just a joke," Adam protested.

"Yeah, laugh it up the pair of you," snapped Emily. "Zoe has had a lot of issues with her weight over the past few years, and now she does something about it you laugh and make jokes about her? And I bet neither of would have the guts to say it to her face. I don't want to hear any more stupid, insensitive, immature fat jokes from you about your sister, is that clear Adam?"

I wondered if somehow the world had inverted on its' axis, and now Antarctica was at the North Pole and the Arctic at the South Pole. Emily was standing up for Zoe? What was next?

"Sorry, I won't say it again," said Adam.

"That's right you won't," warned Emily, who took another cookie from the packet and ate it. Adam watched Emily eat something she didn't normally eat, unfortunately looking at her just that one second too long and attracting her attention and anger again.

"What are you looking at?" she snapped.

"Nothing honey, you just seem to really like those cookies," said Adam. "They must be really tasty."

"Are you criticizing me for eating one or two biscuits once in a blue moon?" demanded Emily, her eyes glaring at Adam so much that it seemed like he might be turned into stone.

"No, no, I wasn't," Adam pleaded, but Emily wasn't about to listen.

"You were criticizing me!" yelled Emily. "You're saying that I'm going to get fat! You are such an insensitive, stupid jerk Adam!"

With that Emily stomped her foot, burst into tears and stood sobbing for a few seconds, before grabbing the packet of cookies. "You make dinner for yourself and the kids, and when you've finished doing that you can make up the couch because that's where you will be sleeping tonight Adam!"

Emily, tears streaming down her face, stormed away on her bare feet clutching her chocolate chip cookies crying loudly to the point of hysteria. I heard the door to her and Adam's bedroom slam shut, and we just stood there looking at each other.

"I think it's time I was getting back," I said.

"Yeah, I think it might be best," Adam agreed, as we walked towards the front door.

"Dad, why is Mum crying?" came Connor's voice.

"Um, your Mum just watched a sad movie that's all," Adam said, coming up with a brilliant white lie for his young son in seconds.

"But she wasn't watching TV," Connor called back.

"She saw it on her phone," said Adam, as we went outside and walked to my van.

"At least your couch is comfortable," I said to Adam.

"Yeah, I spend at least one night there every four weeks," said Adam. "Tonight I don't know what to do. If I make only enough tea for me and the kids, Emily will want some and criticize me for not making any for her. If I do cook some for her, she won't want it and will yell at me for wasting food. If I ask her if she wants any dinner or not, she'll say I'm stupid and get stuck into me for not showing any initiative."

"I think you might be safe, Emily seems happy with the chocolate chip biscuits tonight," I observed.

"Yeah, that's what worries me. When Emily gets PMS, normally she confines her binging to protein balls and the like. But if she starts eating biscuits, ice-cream, chocolate or cake, I know I'm in for a really rough time that month. That and if she gets angry at her gay friend. Emily sees anyone with a Y chromosome as an enemy during her time of the month, but Miles usually gets a free pass being gay. If he cops Emily's wrath, then heaven help any straight guys who cross her. But like I warned you earlier, watch out for Zoe in the next few days. You are in for some very bad times, believe me."

"I'm sure I can handle anything Zoe says and does," I said. "And she was in a good mood this morning, so I think I'm fine at the moment."

"I think it's amazing you're so naïve Sean," said Adam, as I started my van. "Like I said, just don't bring her around here for a play date with Emily."

"I promise I won't," I said. "See you later, have a good night."

"Yeah, that's easier said than done," sighed Adam, as I reversed out and drove home, not knowing what to expect. Would Zoe be in her good mood this morning, or would she be as angry as Emily?

*

I received my answer soon after walking into the kitchen, where Zoe stood waiting for me. Before I could say anything, Zoe snapped, "And where the fuck have you been? I was getting worried."

"I was at Adam and Emily's house," I said. "Remember, I told you earlier."

Zoe glared at me. "How am I supposed to remember every little thing you say Sean?"

"If you were worried, why didn't you call me on my mobile phone?" I suggested.

Zoe rolled her eyes and snorted with derision. "I shouldn't have to go calling you, you should be more considerate Sean. Anyway, what were you doing at Adam's place for so long? Were you and my brother making fun of me, doing jokes about crazy fat Zoe? Or were you just there to check out my brother's hot wife? Well, were you?"

"Zoe, just try and calm down ..." I began, which was the worst thing to say.

"Don't you fucking tell me to calm down, I am perfectly calm!" Zoe spat, glaring at me with her crazy blue eyes.

"Zoe, no it was nothing like that," I said, thinking about how Adam's warning about his sister's PMS problems was pretty sound. "Actually, I didn't have fun with Adam. Emily was in a really bad mood. Your brother got busted and has to sleep on the couch and Emily ended up running off to her room crying. It's her um, well you know."

"No, I don't know Sean," said Zoe. "Why don't you fill me in?"

"Well, its Emily's time of the month."

Zoe glared at me. "And you and that brother of mine didn't do anything to annoy her?"

"No," I said.

"So, all of what happened over there this afternoon is Emily's fault because she's got PMS?" demanded Zoe. "Poor Emily works very hard in her job as a geologist, she teaches group fitness classes and she raises two kids. Then you and my insensitive pig of a brother go upsetting her when she's not at her best?"

Poor Emily? Had Zoe just said that? Was the Earth now spinning West to East? First Emily standing up for Zoe, now Zoe standing up for Emily when the two girls hated each other's guts.

"Okay Zoe, what's the problem?" I asked.

"I don't have a problem, except with the fact that you and my brother seem to think that it's okay to go around annoying Emily when she's due for her monthlies and then put all the blame on her." Zoe continued her glaring, not blinking for a microsecond. "Let me tell you something about Emily you don't know. When Emily got her first period when she was twelve, she was on a school trip with her class to the zoo. Her mother, older sister or an aunt or grandmother weren't there for her like she needed, and it wasn't like she was at school where she could have gone to the nurse. Her teacher was this young guy who had just graduated and he had fuck all idea about what to say or do, and she had all these stupid immature boys asking, 'What's wrong with Emily' and 'Why's Emily crying'. It was lucky there was a female teacher from a group from another school who helped her out. People like Emily who have a traumatic introduction to menstruation as children often have problems with their periods as adults. So think about that before you judge Emily on things you don't understand."

"I didn't know that, how could I?" I asked. "And how do you know that, you and Emily aren't exactly friends."

"If you must know, Emily told Mum and I about it the first time she had dinner with the family, back when she was a university student and she and Adam were dating. Emily was nervous enough as it was, and she had really bad menstrual cramps and was a bit weepy so we took her outside for some fresh air so she could try and relax and she told us then. Would you also like to know that Emily has a very heavy menstrual flow and that sometimes she gets migraines with severe vomiting during her periods, and that has caused her to miss school, university and work at times in the past? No, then stop being such a jerk like my brother and think about how Emily feels."

"Okay Zoe, you've made your point. I'll try to be more sensitive to both Emily and you."

Zoe went rigid and stared at me. "To me? Why would you say me? What are you saying Sean?"

"Nothing, it's just that you seem a little upset this evening."

"So I have PMS then, is that it Sean?" demanded Zoe. "It doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you were out for hours with my brother annoying his wife and not having the common courtesy to call. It's all my fault, is it? Why don't you and Adam just buy a tent and put Emily and I in there when we have our monthlies like they do in some other cultures? Fuck you Sean."

Zoe turned and walked towards the bathroom. "I'm going to the toilet, don't you dare try and follow me in there."

I heard Zoe slam the door closed and lock it, but there was no way I was going to dare to follow Zoe in there given her mood. When Zoe flushed the toilet, washed her hands and emerged five or so minutes later she glared at me venomously and said nothing. Eating dinner that evening while sitting on the couch was an awkward experience. Zoe made a point of ignoring me and instead played with her phone, glaring murderously at me if I happened to look at her. She received two calls on the phone during this time. One was from a male telemarketer who was told to go forth and multiply by the angry Zoe, yet when Zoe got a call from a woman -- I think one of her friends from AA -- she was charming and gracious. It seemed like with Emily that Zoe saw men as the enemy when she was pre-menstrual but women were okay.

That evening I thought Zoe might sleep in her own bed given I was clearly not her favorite person, but to my astonishment she came into my bedroom, her plus-sized figure dressed in nightwear I hadn't seen her wear before, a light blue tee-shirt and matching cotton sleep shorts through which I could make her panty lines.

Zoe said nothing to me as she swung her bare feet into bed beside me but as she went to turn out her light she warned, "Do not touch me tonight Sean."

No way was I brave enough to try, but as I fell asleep next to Zoe I found my imagination in the world of dreams had no such restrictions. Being alongside the sleeping Zoe set off my desires, we were soon having sex in my land of dreams, really, really hot sex. My penis exploded a tidal wave of semen as Zoe yelled out, "Sean, Sean, Sean!"

At the point of orgasm, I awoke to the realization that some of what was happening was pure dream, some reality. The hot sex with Zoe? One hundred percent dream. Zoe yelling 'Sean' repeatedly? This was real. My orgasm, unfortunately very real.

I hadn't had a wet dream for some time, but tonight had proven an exception. In sleep, my erection had worked its way out of the fly of my boxer shorts, and my nocturnal excitement had resulted in my dick spraying a load of sticky white semen all over Zoe's nightclothes, waking her up.

"Sean, what the fuck do you think you are doing?" Zoe screeched as I blinked into the bedside light Zoe had turned on.

"Sorry Zoe, what happened?" I looked at the clock, it was one in the morning.

"Look at my fucking clothes Sean. Look at what you did you fucking pervert!" Zoe showed me the front of her tee-shirt and shorts covered in cum, a furious expression on her face. "You have fucking ruined my night clothes, ejaculating all over me like that! What the fuck were you thinking? You disgusting pig."

"Zoe, I'm really sorry," I pleaded, which failed to impress Zoe. "I had this erotic dream, I couldn't help it, I'll wash your clothes for you."

"No, you will not Sean, I will do it," spat Zoe. "I will also be sleeping in my bed for the rest of the night. Who knows, next you might dream about taps and waterfalls and piss all over me." Zoe got out of bed, the semen stains noticeable on her shirt and shorts and stormed out of the room on her bare feet. "Fucking dickhead deviate," she said angrily on her way out.

"Sorry," I offered ineffectively, getting a tissue to remove what was left of my semen from my cock before turning off the light and trying to go back to sleep, not an easy task given the noise Zoe was making in the laundry washing her cum-stained nightwear.

*

In the morning, I awoke to see Zoe barefoot on the couch in her long pink pajamas with an expression of utter misery on her pretty face. She glowered at me as I walked in.

"Zoe, about last night ..." I began.

"I don't want to talk about it, I don't want you to talk to me and I don't want to talk to you about anything," Zoe snapped.

Deciding not to try my luck any further, I headed off to work worrying all day what I would come home to. Perhaps Zoe and Emily having afternoon tea together working out their strategy to tear into me when I got back?

There was of course no Emily when I got home -- no doubt she was getting stuck into Adam or an unfortunate male colleague who had gotten on her wrong side -- but as soon as I got near the house I could hear Zoe before I could see her.

When Zoe came into my line of sight she was wearing a tee-shirt and track pants, standing in the front garden yelling into her mobile phone, neighbors out looking at the scene. I parked the van, and heard Zoe yell, "Mum, how many times can I tell you I'm sorry I forgot Lily's gymnastics competition last night? What else can I do? I can't go back in time and change it, can I?"

"Mum, how can you accuse me of not loving my son and daughter, of course I love them! How could you say something to hurt me so much? It was just gymnastics display, Lily will get over it. And I apologized at the time for forgetting Jake's awards night at school. Why are you throwing that in my face too when I feel bad enough as it is?"

The angry Zoe looked on the verge of tears as she continued to argue with her mother over the phone creating even more racket. I earned the glares of my neighbors as I was the one responsible for bringing Zoe here to live several weeks ago. However, Zoe was in such an angry and upset state I thought it best to leave her outside to cool down for a while, and went indoors.

Even inside, I could hear Zoe yelling at her mother. "Mum, you know what the worst thing about you and Dad is? I make one mistake, one little mistake and you never let me forget it. You both give me the shits. I do not want to talk to you anymore. Piss off!"

"Fucking bitch!" I heard Zoe scream before she stormed back inside, slamming open the door and striding towards her room, wiping angry tears from her eyes.

"You okay Zoe?" I asked.

"Hello Sean, I'm crying, do I fucking look okay? Are you just going to piss me off asking me stupid fucking useless questions all fucking night?" Zoe went into her room and slammed the door closed.

It was some time before Zoe emerged, and by that stage I was eating my tea on the couch. Zoe joined me carrying a family size container of ice-cream and a spoon. Without giving me a glance, Zoe sat down on the opposite end of the couch and began to mindlessly eat her ice-cream.

The flavor of the ice-cream -- triple chocolate brownie sundae -- sounded delicious, and I salivated. Zoe caught me looking at her eating and cast me a dirty look so I immediately looked away, but I still kept thinking about how much I would love a bowl of that ice-cream so I looked again.

This time Zoe put down her spoon and looked challengingly at me. "What is it?" she snapped.

"Um nothing, it just looks like really nice ice-cream and you're really enjoying it," I said, hoping for a taste.

"You have a problem with me eating ice-cream?" Zoe demanded, getting to her feet and staring at me.

"No, no I was just hoping ..."

"Hoping I would put it down and eat something more healthy?" Zoe glowered at me, then burst into tears. "You shallow, insensitive arsehole Sean! You say you love me at any size, but really you want me to be thin, don't you! You're just the same as all men!"

Crying floods of tears like Emily had done the previous evening, the sobbing Zoe took her ice-cream and spoon and stormed to her bedroom, slamming the door closed behind herself. I didn't see her again the rest of the night, and when I did see her again on the Friday morning, one could cut the tension in the air with a knife.

Zoe glared at me as I got too near her in the kitchen when I went to the refrigerator. I didn't want to broach what had happened the night before, but managed to offer. "Zoe, I'm sorry about ..."

"I don't want to talk about it, Sean," Zoe snapped.

She said nothing more to me until I was about to leave for work, then said, "You still haven't done it, Sean."

"I haven't done what, Zoe?" I asked.

Zoe let out a deep sigh, rolled her eyes and said, "You haven't fixed that light I told you about the other morning. What is the good of you being an electrician if you can't change a simple little thing like a light globe?"

"I'll do it now," I said, changing the globe on the problem light with no problems. "Easy fixed," I said to Zoe, who turned and walked away from me without a word.

Friday evening was a tense one, with Zoe constantly trying to goad me into an argument as we sat eating tea in front of the television with trays on our laps. She snapped at me when she saw me eating with my mouth open and we couldn't agree to watch on television. Each time I tried a channel, Zoe would say it was either boring, stupid or depressing. It was the same when I suggested we watch a movie on DVD, nothing was right for Zoe and she bit my head off for suggesting one movie she absolutely hated. That I had suggested this movie was my fault and designed just to annoy her, despite the fact I had no idea that Zoe disliked it so intensely.

Finally we went to bed. I thought given Zoe's PMS affected mood that she might sleep in her own bed, but she joined me in mine. Even though she was in such a terrible temper, I still found myself sexually aroused by her beautiful plus-sized body as she walked in barefoot wearing an oversized white tee-shirt, her long blonde hair hanging loose, her big boobs and belly filling out the fabric, her chubby thighs looking tempting. My groin reacted as I saw Zoe's knickers -- the white full brief panties with butterflies on them that Zoe had taken off in front of me that day several weeks ago when doing her laundry -- as she slid her bare feet under the covers. I wanted to hump Zoe, I wanted to fuck her so badly. But there was no way I was brave enough to try.